Come on in, Christina.” Allan stood back from the doorway.
Michele stood a few feet behind him. After they had reached the decision a short while ago, Allan took the lead and initiated this visit with Christina. Michele was glad. She couldn’t imagine handling something like this by herself. He had called Christina, asking her to come over for coffee after dinner.
Michele turned back toward the living room, heard their footsteps following behind her. “I have a fresh pot of decaf made and some cookies. Would you like some?” she asked Christina. She already knew Allan would.
“That would be great, thanks.”
“You two go sit down in the living room, I’ll bring it out.” As she prepared the coffee, Michele was surprised to find she wasn’t nervous at all. And she didn’t detect any tension on Christina’s face. She walked the coffee, cream, and sugar out to them on a tray.
Christina looked at both of them as she stirred half-and-half into her cup. “I guess you guys made a decision about the baby, right? That’s what this is about?”
“You like to get right to it,” Allan said.
“I’m from New York,” Christina said, smiling. “I don’t have a choice.”
Allan sat forward in his chair. “You’re right, that’s why we wanted to meet. How have you been the last two days, since you and Michele discussed this?”
“I’ve been all right. A little edgy but not too much.”
“You’re five weeks from your due date, right?” he asked.
“That’s what they tell me.”
Allan sipped his coffee. “Before I say anything else, Christina, Michele and I want you to know how honored we are that you would consider asking us to do something like this. I really mean that. It’s a huge thing.”
“You’re welcome. But after getting to know you, it was an easy decision to make.”
“And Michele told me, as part of that decision, you were even willing to move, to leave the Anderson family and River Oaks altogether.”
Christina nodded. “I’d want to make it as easy on you as possible. Not just on you but your whole family. I’m the kind of person who’d have to be all in or all out. I think it would be way too awkward if I hung around.”
“Michele also told me how much you’ve grown to love this family, and how hard it would be for you to leave.”
Michele looked into Christina’s eyes. That got to her. But she held it together.
“I get that,” Allan continued. “It’s rare these days to find a family as close as they are.” He looked at Michele. “I love being a part of it.”
“Me too,” Christina said. “Well, I’m not really a part of it. Not like the two of you.”
“You are a part of it, Christina,” Michele said. “I know, for my mom, you’re not just someone she’s helping at the Resource Center. She cares about you, a whole lot. I don’t know you the way she does, but I already understand why.”
“And since you want us to get right to it,” Allan said, “I guess one way to say this is . . . you’re not going to have to leave the Anderson family once your baby is born.”
Michele looked at Christina. It took a few moments for what Allan said to sink in. But it did.
“So you’re not going to adopt my baby?”
Allan reached for Michele’s hand. “No, we’re not. But we’d love to. And I’m not just saying that. Both of us had some wonderful daydreams today as we thought about it. On many levels, it doesn’t make any sense for us to say no.”
Michele was curious now. She wasn’t sure how Christina was doing, but she could tell this news didn’t crush her like she thought it might.
“But on one level, it did make sense to say no?” Christina asked.
Allan laughed. “No, that’s not what I mean. That’s just an expression. It didn’t make sense to say no on any level.”
“Do you mind telling me how you knew?” Christina asked. “How you knew you weren’t supposed to say yes?”
Allan did a good job gently explaining the process they went through to help discern God’s will. It only took a few minutes, and Christina listened intently. Still, when he finished, she didn’t seem upset about the decision or even show any signs of discouragement on her face.
“Do you have any questions?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. I couldn’t say it as good as you, but I did ask the Lord to prepare me for whatever your answer was gonna be. I think he did. It wasn’t like anything I heard. Not like a voice or anything. But as time went by, especially after you called to invite me here, it’s like I already knew what you were going to say.”
“I’m so relieved,” Michele said. “The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”
“That’s nice of you to say.”
“Earlier this afternoon,” Allan said, “I decided to call the adoption agency you’re working with. I didn’t tell them about anything we’re discussing. I just asked for some information about the kind of screening they put couples through before they approve them to adopt a baby.”
“They went over all that with me,” Christina said.
“It’s a pretty extensive process,” Allan said. “I was impressed.”
“I know. I’m sure that’s part of the reason why I’m not freaking out right now. They’re really careful about who they give babies to.”
“Yes, they are.”
Michele was impressed that Allan had done this. He hadn’t mentioned it to her before now. But it was just like him to be so thoughtful, to think through the possible fears and insecurities Christina might have when they said no.
“So you know your baby is going to be placed with a couple that has a very stable Christian home.”
“I know,” she said. “I think what happened was, whenever I thought about where my baby might end up, based on the stuff they were telling me, I kept imagining her being with someone just like you two. And then something clicked in my head on one of those times, and I thought, why not you instead of a couple like you? I remember you telling me, Michele, that you really weren’t interested in adopting the first time we spoke back at the playground. But I thought I had to give it a shot.”
“Well, we’re really honored you did,” Michele said. “And you’re right, I did say that when we first talked. I still want to try to have a baby the old-fashioned way. Allan and I are going to look further into what that might involve, medically speaking. But I learned something about myself through this situation.”
“What’s that?”
“When faced with the very real possibility that I could be a mother very soon, I realized I wanted to say yes. It didn’t matter to me that the baby wouldn’t be mine. You know what I mean, by birth. For hours, I kept thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a child to care for as my own, and I knew right then, it didn’t really matter to me if that child came naturally or through adoption. That was a real breakthrough for me. I don’t know what God has for Allan and me down the road, but you’ve helped my heart get to a much better place.”