48

Michele tensed up as she read the note over Allan’s shoulder. She noticed his hands gripping the note tighter by the time he was through. They both stood there a few moments.

Julie broke the ice. “Ray asked me to read the note before I gave it to you. I don’t think he expected Michele to be here when you got this.” She looked at Michele. “I’m not sure why, but I got the impression he thought you wouldn’t be too happy about the idea. Is it because the last trip wasn’t that long ago? I know it’s really hard when they go. It’s still hard on me, and Ray’s been on a bunch of these trips.”

Michele walked back to the chair. “Allan’s been on five since we met. But that’s only part of it.” This didn’t seem like the time or the place to have this kind of talk.

Allan spoke up. “I explained a little of this to Ray last month when he asked me to go with him. Did he tell you I said I couldn’t go?”

She nodded. “But he didn’t get into why.”

“I guess it’s really more a question of timing and priorities.”

“You don’t need to explain, Allan. That’s really between you and Michele. I know Ray wasn’t upset when he said it, so I’m sure he understands.”

Maybe so, Michele thought. But here he was, asking Allan to go again. She dreaded the thought, but she also felt the tug from that passage in Philippians this morning, about looking out for others’ interests not just your own. “There isn’t any way they can postpone this trip? Seems like they have a great excuse with Ray’s accident.”

“They may have to. But I could tell, the thought of cancelling was causing him more stress than the surgery on his leg.”

“Any idea why?” Allan asked.

“You’ll have to ask him for the details. He said something about losing the facility Henok picked out for the orphanage. Apparently some local businessmen are ready to buy it, even willing to pay more for it. He’s afraid the government will give it to them if someone doesn’t show up for that meeting.”

Michele looked at Allan. “That sounds pretty serious.”

He rubbed his hand through his hair. “Ray and I didn’t talk much about this. I thought it was a done deal. All my budget figures are based on this facility.”

Just then they heard some noise behind them. She turned to find two of the pastors and their wives coming into the waiting room. They rushed over toward Julie, hugged her, and greeted Allan and Michele.

“Well, look,” Allan said, “we’ll let you guys visit awhile together. I’ll check in on Ray in a few hours. Julie, you let us know if there’s anything we can do.”

“I will. And thank you guys so much for coming.”

Allan and Michele started walking toward the door.

Julie called out, “And Allan, don’t worry about that note. You guys just talk it out and pray. Ray will be fine with whatever you decide.”

They held hands but didn’t talk much on the way out to the car. Allan felt backed into a corner by Ray’s note. Especially reading it with Michele standing right there. Obviously, he would have told her about it, and they would decide together how to respond. The way it came about just added an extra layer of tension he didn’t need.

They got in the car. Allan turned it on. “That was a little awkward.”

“Are you okay?” she asked.

The gentleness in her voice surprised him. He pulled out of the parking space. “I’m fine. I have no idea what to do. What we should do.”

They drove out of the hospital parking lot. She reached over and massaged his right shoulder. “I guess it’s not possible for one of the other guys on the team to go?”

He didn’t want to answer this too strongly, but the truth was they couldn’t. The guys were completely committed to this vision, but none of them had been involved in this thing as much as him or Ray. “I wish they could. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great guys. But they’ve only been doing things like fund-raising so far. It would take more time than we have to get any of them up to speed enough to take Ray’s place.”

“But you’re ready now, aren’t you? You could go there Tuesday and take care of everything, just like Ray.”

Allan looked over at her. She was serious. “Well, not just like Ray. He’s way better with people than I am. Especially people he doesn’t know. On this trip, that would pretty much include everybody except Henok.”

“But you could do this if you went, couldn’t you?”

“I guess so. To be honest, I’m more nervous about the thought of getting up in front of the whole church tomorrow to talk about this.”

They drove in silence the rest of the way home. Allan turned on some pleasant, romantic music. One of Michele’s favorite CDs. He couldn’t believe her reaction to all this. It sounded like she was seriously thinking he should go. He hadn’t let his mind go there as he read the note. He wasn’t even sure what he thought about it. He’d never been to Africa without Ray. He’d never been there alone. Certainly sounded like he’d be alone on this trip if he went. And the stakes were so high.

They pulled into the one-lane road that ran behind the townhomes.

“Does the thought of doing this alone make you nervous?” she asked.

Man, did she know him. He pushed the garage door button. “Totally. On all these trips, I’ve been like the sergeant. But Ray’s not been the lieutenant, more like the general. He handles everything.” He pulled the car in, he stopped, turned it off and looked at her. “Are you seriously thinking I should do this?”

“I’m seriously going to pray about it. I don’t want you to go. I really don’t want you to go. But, I also don’t know what God’s doing here, why he allowed this to happen.”

“What if I mess it up, Michele?”

“I don’t know, Allan. If God wants you to do this, we have to believe he’ll go before you and give you the wisdom you need when the time comes. Can we get out of the car? It’s starting to get stuffy.”

When she was halfway across the sidewalk, she said, “Do we have enough money for you to go? You do the bills. Is there enough in the new baby account?”

He couldn’t even believe his ears. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“What? Why?”

He found the key to unlock the back door. “Because you know we don’t have money for both of these things, and having a child means more to you than anything else in the world. We’ve just started building the fund, and just like that, you’re offering it to me for another trip to Africa?” He was actually getting a little choked up. He left the keys in the doorknob, put his arms around her, and drew her in.

After the hug, she said, “Well, do we?”

“I’ll have to crunch the numbers, but . . . I think so.” Mentally, he did a few quick calculations. If he was adding it right, they did have enough. But this trip would use up almost all the money they had saved. At most, there’d be a few hundred dollars left.