Allan’s joy at the news the church would be paying his way to Africa diminished somewhat by the time he’d arrived home from the hospital, displaced by the growing realization that he would be making the trip all alone. What if he got there and they were all set to make the deal, then something changed? What if they decided to rethink things or wanted to negotiate? He was no good at that. He didn’t even like to dicker at the flea market. What if some government official drew him aside after the meeting, looking for a bribe? What would he say?
Allan had certain skills and a good measure of confidence when those skills were called upon. But he also knew his limitations. He believed it was both humble and wise to live within them. Everything about this trip called for skills he either didn’t have or possessed in meager amounts. That was why he’d always traveled to Africa with Ray.
He got out of the car and hit the button to lower the garage door. As he walked toward the back of their house, he recalled Michele’s encouragement from their conversation earlier that day. If God wants you to do this, then we have to believe he’ll go before you and give you the wisdom you need when the time comes.
Michele greeted him as he came through the patio door. “How’s he doing?” she asked as they hugged.
He set his keys and phone on the hutch. “He’s pretty banged up. They had to do some serious surgery on the broken leg.”
“So he didn’t break both of them?”
“The right one’s just badly sprained. But because of the surgery on the other one, it’s not in a cast yet. They’re giving him heavy-duty antibiotics. He didn’t seem to be in any pain. I’m sure that’s because of the morphine drip. I think he’ll be in the hospital at least a few more days.”
They sat in their normal spots in the living room. “Did you find out anything more about the trip?” she said. “Why it can’t be postponed?”
“It’s the facility thing like Julie said. There might be other reasons, but that’s the biggie.” He explained what Ray had said about the very real possibility of losing the facility if someone from their team wasn’t there on Tuesday.
“So . . . are you definitely going then?”
“Are you still okay with that?”
“Okay’s the right word. It seems pretty clear God wants you to go. The need is real, and we have the money.”
“Oh wait, the money.”
“What about it?”
“We don’t have to use ours. Ray said the church was planning to pay his way, so they’ll definitely do the same for me. We don’t have to touch our new baby account.”
Michele’s face lit up at the news, and she hugged him again. “That’s wonderful, Allan. You get to go, and we get to keep growing our baby fund. I actually prayed about this.”
“You did?”
She nodded. “I didn’t want to say anything, but it seemed only fair to me. It’s not like you’re going there on vacation. You’re going there to take Ray’s place.”
“Ray almost seemed shocked that I’d even think they’d expect me to pay my own way.”
“I’m so glad.”
Allan forced a smile. He really was glad. But crouching at the door were all those anxious thoughts about making this trip alone.
“I guess you’ll have to call your boss tomorrow, get next week off.”
“You’re right.”
“Is that going to be a problem?”
“I don’t think so. We’ve got plenty of work, but none of it’s late. And I won’t be taking off two or three weeks like before.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“I asked Ray before I left the hospital. He said he had only planned to be there three or four days. So I’m thinking about coming home next Saturday.” He stood up.
“Where are you going?”
“To get my laptop. I’ve got to book my flight.”
She stood up too. “Are you okay about all this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “You don’t seem that excited. Usually when you’re heading to Africa, you’re all jazzed about it.”
“I’m glad to be going.” The words had barely come out of his mouth when he realized it wasn’t the truth. “This time is just so different. Do you realize I’ve never gone on one of these trips without Ray? Even the ones before we were married.”
“I know.”
“And he’s not just not going, he’s stuck in a hospital bed. Probably looking at several months before he’s well again.”
“But it’s not just because Ray won’t be there, is it?”
Sometimes Allan wasn’t sure he liked how perceptive Michele was about his emotional state. Like right now. He would prefer not having to share the honest answer to her question in hopes that, given a little time, he might get to a better place. “No, but I think you already know what I’m struggling with.”
“Doing something this big on your own? Worried about what will happen once you get there if you make a wrong decision?”
“Things like that,” he said. “Ray said maybe I could come by the hospital tomorrow afternoon, after he gets some time to rest, and he’ll try to brief me on everything he thinks I should expect.”
“That should help, shouldn’t it?”
“Should help some. It would help more if the cell phone connections were better. You know how hard it is for me to call you on these trips. I wish I could call Ray if something big comes up. Between the lousy phone reception, the nine-hour time difference, and the fact that he’s laid up in a hospital bed . . .” He stopped and rubbed his head. “I’m sorry. Not quite the man of faith and power, am I? More like Eeyore.”
She came close and hugged him, rested her head on his chest. “I know it’s gonna be all right. Look at all God has done already. He provided all the money, not just for you to go in Ray’s place but for everything you guys needed to launch this thing. He provided Henok over there to set everything up. He helped you all find a place within your budget. I know he’s gonna keep helping you once you get there. You’re doing his work, caring for widows and orphans.”
This was definitely helping. Having her here, talking like this.
Then, he got an idea. A crazy one. He almost blurted it out but caught himself. But it was a wonderful idea. Something they had talked about before, many times. A dream of Allan’s that she had always refused. They stood there together in silence a few moments as he prayed about what to do. Should he bring it up? What should he say? She might say no. But what if this time she said yes?
A voice in his head simply said, Ask her. He pulled back from the hug, far enough that they could look at each other as he spoke. “Michele, I just had a thought. It may not be from the Lord, but I feel like I’m supposed to ask. Don’t feel any pressure to answer right now.”
“What is it?”
“Would you come to Africa with me?”
“What?” A puzzled look on her face.
“Would you come with me on this trip? You know how much I’ve always wanted to share this experience with you. This would be a perfect time. You always seem to know how to help me through tough decisions. You were willing to spend our baby money to send me before. Would you be willing to use it instead so that we can go together?”
A new look on her face. The reality of his request was sinking in.