Four

The Celebration

“TODAY IS THE day,” Ezekiel Graber—­Zeke to most everyone who counted—­said to his sister Ana. “This afternoon, after ser­vices at the Millers’, I’m going to ask Sarah if I can court her.”

Curving his hands around his mug of hot coffee, Ana’s husband, Noah, grinned. “Asking her at church is a gut plan. After all, she can’t refuse you after praying for three hours!”

“She’s not going to refuse me because she’s got to realize by now how much I care for her,” Zeke said with a little more confidence than he actually felt.

Ana raised her brows. “She knows?”

“Nee. But surely she has to guess.”

“Perhaps,” she agreed. “Or, perhaps not.”

Zeke hated to admit it, but he feared his sister might be right.

It seemed he’d spent most of his life waiting for Sarah. For two years he’d been waiting. Sometimes patiently, sometimes not.

He didn’t fault his feelings, though. At last, it was time to court Sarah Brennaman.

His admiration for Sarah had started too many days earlier to ever attempt to recall. Perhaps it had been when he’d eaten next to her one balmy spring afternoon at her parents’ home. Maybe it had been years later, when they’d played side by side in a March snowstorm. They’d dodged snowballs and threw others with such force that her older brother had gotten a mouthful of snow.

Oh, but they had laughed and laughed about their victory.

All Zeke had known was that she was such a prize, it was necessary he do everything that was proper with Sarah. He needed to bide his time. Wait until the timing was right. Until she was of courting age.

Therefore, he’d been in a state of anxiousness all those years ago, when he’d waited and waited for the perfect day to approach her with his heart. He’d silently counted the days until her parents deemed her old enough for courting, planning and plotting as to how he would declare his interest. Many nights had been spent tossing and turning, imagining her reaction. Imagining how it would feel to take her out, anticipating the pride he’d feel when everyone in their valley would realize that Sarah was his.

But Daniel had been quicker.

Just two days before Zeke had knocked on her door, Daniel had paid her a call. And because Daniel Ropp was everything her parents had ever wanted, she’d soon become his only company.

Not Zeke’s.

Zeke had been forced to stand off to the side while she smiled at Daniel. When Daniel had taken her on a buggy ride. When he’d begun to hover over her with a proprietary air.

Zeke had been forced to hold his tongue because that was the Amish way. They didn’t gossip about each other. They didn’t besmirch each other’s reputation.

But Zeke had ached to. He had known from the first moment that Daniel not only didn’t deserve her, but wouldn’t make Sarah happy. Daniel Ropp had always been a bit too assured. A bit too rough. There had always been something about the other man which seemed a bit too worldly. A bit too crass for a gentle girl like Sarah.

So Zeke had held his tongue, but his adherence to their code of honor had brought him little besides heartache.

Soon, Daniel was accompanying her most everywhere. Most folks said their relationship was serious. He’d ached to tell her that she was making a mistake, but his conscience told him to bide his time. And his brother cautioned him to keep his silence. After all, it just wasn’t done to interfere with another ­couple’s romance.

But still, he’d waited for her to realize just what kind of man Daniel was. But she never did. Or maybe she hadn’t cared.

Because all too soon, Sarah married Daniel. With their exchange of vows, they’d effectively ruined his life.

Day after day, then month after month, he’d watched her from a distance. Watched her become smaller, paler. It was evident to everyone that the relationship was taking its toll. And though it was a sin to want to break up a marriage, he’d still found himself unable to think of anyone else but Sarah.

But though they were friends, she’d never uttered a complaint, only held the faint echo of disappointment in her eyes.

Daniel’s going to war had been a blessing for her, he was sure of it. And though many in their community had shunned Sarah, disdaining her as they had disdained Daniel’s decision to go, Zeke had done everything he could to keep her included in their activities.

He’d even conveniently used Daniel’s absence as a reason to visit her, to help her as he could. Still, she’d remained loyal to her husband . . . and he was respectful of that.

Later, when they’d heard that Daniel had passed away, Zeke had persuaded himself to believe that the Lord had intervened. Had wanted to help Sarah escape such a terrible situation, and maybe, possibly, He’d felt for Zeke, and had wanted to answer his prayers, too.

Weeks and weeks went by. Then months. All the while, Sarah continued to struggle, managing her small farm on her own. But now, the elders of the church were beginning to suggest that it was time for her to remarry. Because of that, Zeke knew men would soon begin calling on her. Even if they didn’t desire Sarah, she was living on a parcel of valuable farmland.

And because life was too hard for a woman on her own, Zeke knew he was bound to lose her again if he tarried much longer.

“If you start courting, things are going to be a bit different around here,” his sister said as she stood and carefully wrapped up the remains of their breakfast. “But I guess we’ll figure out how to manage that soon enough.”

“We’ll make do.” Or, perhaps, Sarah would want him to move to her place after they married. That would be the best thing to happen, for sure and for certain. That way Ana and Noah could continue to live on their farm.

As Ana pulled on her thick wool cloak, she looked him over. “Do you feel ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I think.” With effort, he attempted to tamp down his excitement.

“You have been a good and faithful friend to Sarah and to Daniel’s memory. No one could ever fault your loyalty.” Reaching out, she clasped his arm and squeezed his biceps gently. “It is wonderful-­gut to see you so happy. Why, your eyes are fairly shining!”

So was his heart. In fact, he was so filled with eagerness and anticipation, Zeke felt sure that everyone in the whole church district was going to guess that he was the happiest man in the area just by glancing in his direction.

“I’m only going to talk with her. Ask if she’d like to go for a walk.”

“She might not,” Ana warned. “It’s fairly cold out. There’s frost on the ground.”

“Jah, but the sky is blue and the sun is shining. And since I’ll be with her, she’ll hardly notice the frost.”

When his sister giggled, he felt himself blush. Why, he sounded giddier than a schoolgirl!

Ana patted his arm as they joined Noah and started walking toward the Millers’ farm. “I hope it goes well, bruder. I really do.”

After almost an hour walk, they arrived. To his surprise, there was almost a festive atmosphere. Children were playing, ladies were all smiles, and men’s voices were louder than usual. Laughter and teasing erupted every so often from the open barn doors.

Zeke raised his brows at Ana. “I wonder what is going on?”

“Most likely someone heard good news about the war,” Noah murmured. “Maybe Mary heard about John Paul. I know she’s been worried about the lack of letters she’s received from him. Maybe he’s finally on his way home. Wouldn’t that be a blessing?”

“It would, indeed.” Like Daniel Ropp, John Paul had volunteered to serve in the Union army. But while the other men’s names had been listed as deceased, no word had been written about John. No one—­not even his family—­had heard from him in weeks. His parents and sisters still kept their hope alive, sure that they’d hear good news one day soon.

Though Zeke hadn’t approved of the seven men’s decisions to mix with the English and become involved with their fights, he certainly wished John Paul well. “Perhaps. If they heard good news, that would be wonderful indeed.”

“When Lloyd Mast’s name appeared on the list of deceased, I thought the lot of us were going to dissolve into a fit of tears,” Ana said.

“The men should have never volunteered to serve in the first place. Though it’s true we don’t believe in slavery, and we want to help out our brothers in the North, we could have helped in other ways. It’s not the Amish way to ever adopt violence.”

“What’s done is done,” Noah said, clasping Zeke on the shoulder. “The men left three years ago of their own accord. You need to give up your anger about their reasons, whether they were righ­teous or not.”

Zeke tucked his head. Noah was right. And once more, it wouldn’t be doing Sarah any favors for him to be talking about how he felt about Daniel going off to war in the first place.

As they walked closer and heard even more happy chatter, Ana shook her head. “I bet it’s not anything to do with the war at all. Perhaps Esther or Martha had their bopplis. They were due, you know.”

Curiosity piqued, Zeke was happy to be sidetracked by any good news. He would welcome anything to take his mind off his nerves. Interested to be a part of it all, he led the way into the barn, only to stop abruptly the moment his eyes adjusted to the dimness.

Surely what he was seeing couldn’t be right?

Ana huffed behind him as she pressed her palms around his shoulders. “Honestly, Zeke. Do ya have to always stop two steps in front of me?”

Without a word, he stepped to the side. Hardly aware of anything besides the buzzing in his ears. And the sight directly in front of him.

Sarah Ropp was standing next to a terribly scarred man. She looked anxious and worried, but resolute, too. And, to his consternation, happy.

His mouth going dry, Zeke stared. A thousand scenarios floated through his mind, but none made any sense.

Surely this stranger couldn’t mean anything to her?

“Whatever could be going on?” Ana whispered.

“I have no earthly idea. And who could be that man who is keeping Sarah company?”

“I couldn’t begin to guess,” she murmured. “But he is Plain like us. Perhaps he is a relative or friend from Lancaster?”

The bishop walked over to him, Ana, and Noah. “Did you hear the news?” he asked, his voice lively.

“I’m sorry, but we have only just arrived, Bishop Thomas,” Ana said politely. “What news do you have?”

“The best news of all,” the bishop said with a bright smile. “Our son Daniel has returned.”

A buzzing formed in Zeke’s ears. “I’m sorry? What did you say?”

The bishop slapped him on the back. “I know, young man. It’s hard to fathom, but a true testament to the power and glory of the Lord. Our son Daniel Ropp has returned to our community. Glory to our Lord!”

While Noah whistled low and Ana stood stock-­still, Zeke attempted to make his mouth form words. “That . . . that is Daniel?” he murmured. “Are you sure?”

Bishop Thomas’s brows snapped together. “Why would you ask such a thing?”

“It’s just that it sure don’t look like him.”

The bishop frowned at him. “Of course it doesn’t, Ezekiel. The poor man was burned something terrible. He was hurt in Pennsylvania, and was so badly injured he didn’t even know who he was for a time.” Sanctimoniously, he added, “It’s only by the Lord’s greatest blessings that he is here at all.” Waving a hand through the air, he said, “Aren’t you sometimes awed by our Lord’s miracles? I know it is not for us to say, but it is truly evident that the good Lord has a plan for our Daniel.”

Was that what it all meant? His mind was a whirl of confusion. Doing his best to control the tremor in his voice, Zeke murmured, “Wh-­when did he return?”

“Two nights ago. Sarah said he showed up in the barn, a bit out of sorts.” He chuckled. “Sarah shared that she was so surprised, she fainted right away.” He slapped a hand against his thigh. “Only our timid Sarah would admit such a thing.”

And only Bishop Thomas would share such a thing with such glee, Zeke reflected darkly, unable to stop staring at the ­couple. “Jah. I’m sure seeing Daniel returned from the dead was quite a shock.”

Now, unable to stop staring at Sarah, Zeke asked, “Is she all right?”

Ana grasped his arm. “Watch yourself, Zeke.”

But the bishop ignored Zeke’s strangled expression. “Of course she is all right. Why wouldn’t Sarah be anything but wonderful-­gut? Her husband is back!” The bishop lowered his voice. “I’m a bit ashamed that just a few weeks ago I rode out to her haus and even encouraged her to think about getting married again.”

“There would be no shame in that. Of course we never imagined that the reports were false and Daniel was alive in truth,” Ana pointed out.

Bishop Thomas nodded. “Of course I did not. Otherwise I would have counseled her differently.” He sighed. “I was only on the Lord’s errand, you know.”

“The Lord’s errand?”

“Indeed. He wants us all married, and especially eligible women of Sarah’s age.” Lowering his voice, the bishop leaned close. “I had quite a talk with her, if you want to know the truth. She said she wasn’t interested in remarrying, and to my shame, I ignored her wishes.”

“I’m sure you only meant the best for her.”

“Indeed.” He chuckled. “If you can believe it, I even talked about you, Zeke. I was so determined to find her a new mate.”

As a matter of fact, he could imagine that. Very much so. He cleared his throat, preparing to say something, though what, he didn’t know.

But the bishop cut off any words with a gruff laugh. “Luckily, the Lord’s plan showed us the way in the end. Sarah stayed true. And now she has her just reward. Her husband has returned. Now things can go back to the way they were. It’s nothing short of a miracle!”

Pain and hurting coursed through Zeke, as well as the sense that he seemed to be the only one—­besides Sarah—­who had been aware of just how badly she’d been treated by Daniel. And because of that, he knew that it wasn’t a miracle. It wasn’t anything to celebrate.

Instead, it was the worst news imaginable.

Ana gripped his arm, hard. “Zeke, get ahold of yourself!” she hissed in his ear. “You are glaring at Sarah and Daniel. Someone is bound to notice.”

He complied, but on his own time, and only after looking his fill. As if he’d sensed the gaze, Daniel lifted his head and searched the crowd. At first, he looked shocked by receiving Zeke’s hard stare. His brown eyes were clear and curiously devoid of the usual pride that helped characterize the man. But then, little by little, he returned the glare.

And slowly raised a brow.

It was a challenge, and to Zeke’s way of thinking, he deserved every bit of it. Yet again he had been coveting another man’s wife.

Zeke turned away, shaken and ashamed. What he felt was terribly wrong. Not good.

But then, a tiny inkling of something new spurred him to look back again. Something about Daniel was different now. Whether it was the scars, the shock of seeing him again, or the fact that three years had passed, Zeke wasn’t sure.

All he knew was that this change was just as hard to accept as the man’s return. And the fact that once again he was going to have to resign himself to the awful truth. Sarah Ropp was still not his and she might not ever be.

THE MOMENT THE crowd of well-­wishers thinned out a bit, John pulled Sarah over to the side. “Who is that man?” he whispered as soon as he was certain that they wouldn’t be overheard.

Sarah turned. “Which man?”

“The man standing over by the thicket of trees. He’s standing with the woman with the fair hair.”

After scanning the area, Sarah smiled softly. “Daniel, surely you remember Zeke Graber. We’ve known him all our lives. Like younger boys always do, he was always trailing after you when we were all younger.”

“Oh. Now it is coming back. When I left he hadn’t quite filled out yet. And I think he’s grown several inches,” he added, hoping it made sense.

Sarah relaxed. “Oh, of course. I sometimes forget how ­people do change.”

“Except for you, of course.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Only that you are still as pretty as ever,” he blurted, unable to resist the temptation of coaxing a smile from her.

She blushed brightly, but kept her attention on Zeke. “In case you forgot their names, Zeke is standing with his sister Ana.” She pointed to a solid-­looking fellow talking with the bishop. “And that man there is Noah, Ana’s husband.”

“Are they close friends of yours?”

“Fairly close. Well, Zeke is, at least.”

Her ready answer gave him pause, even though John knew he had no true reason to feel any jealousy or possessiveness. “What do you mean by close?”

She looked at him curiously. “Well, I mean we used to be close friends. And he has been good to me. A real good friend when you were gone.”

“How so?”

“Well, some in our community weren’t happy that you had joined the infantry, you know. Because of that, sometimes they ignored me. He stood up to them.”

“So he’s a good man.”

“Jah. A mighty gut man. And, well, I’ve known him a long time, since we were mere kinner. Why?”

John debated with himself about how much he should say. The man was obviously unhappy about his arrival, but John wasn’t sure about how much he wanted to give away. He couldn’t remember Daniel ever mentioning anyone called Zeke. But that didn’t mean that he hadn’t been an important part of Sarah’s life since Daniel had departed.

It certainly wasn’t worth questioning her about it. “No reason,” he said. “It is only that he was looking at me like I’d done something wrong. Like I said, my memory is full of holes.”

One side of her lips rose. “Don’t worry, Daniel. It will all come back. You just need to give yourself time.”

Still watching Zeke sending him grim looks, John said, “Now that I’m back, I hope he realizes that he won’t need to look out for you as much.”

She looked puzzled by his display of jealousy. “Daniel, I promise, I never betrayed you. We were close, but never in a romantic sense, if that is what you are concerned about. We were merely friends. Would you care to walk over and visit with him?”

“Nee.” He wasn’t eager to be around anyone who might be suspicious about his identity. It was better to remain aloof. When her eyebrows rose, he gentled his tone. “I mean, I am sure that there will be plenty of time to get to know him.”

“You mean reacquaint yourself with him,” she corrected.

“Yes. That is exactly what I meant.” Forcing a lighter expression, he said, “But that doesn’t mean we should continue to stand here by our lonesome. I am anxious to renew our friendships. Come, Sarah, stay by my side, and we’ll have some lunch.”

“You know as well as I do that we cannot stand together right now. Perhaps you’d rather go visit with the other men by yourself?”

“Not yet.” That was the last thing he wanted. He didn’t trust himself to navigate the conversations without Sarah’s help. But more importantly, he didn’t want to leave her side. For too long, it seemed that Sarah had always been left to her own devices. Forgotten.

He definitely didn’t want her to ever feel like she was forgotten again. At least, not for the short while that he was there. Once he found Daniel’s money jar he was going to do the only thing that was right—­leave her. Having her believe that he was her husband, risen from the dead, any longer than completely necessary seemed unreasonably cruel.

Sarah blinked. “Daniel, are you sure?”

Unwilling to let on just how nervous he was, he decided to err on the side of romance. “Of course I am sure. I don’t want to leave you.”

Her cheeks flushed. “I don’t know how to react when you say such things.”

“You don’t need to know. I just want you to be yourself.”

Because she looked even more flustered, he leaned closer. Closer than was seemly in public. But he was too desperate to keep her by his side. And too intent on making her realize that she was important. Worthy.

Beautiful.

“I know it ain’t seemly, but be kind to a man just home from war, Sarah. Don’t leave my side just yet.”

She blinked. “You must know I could never refuse a request like that.”

“I had hoped you could not,” he murmured with a smile. “I dared to hope.”

“In that case, I will stay next to you all afternoon, Daniel,” she whispered. “But do not blame me if we cause talk.”

“I look forward to the commotion our relationship will bring.”