The porch light was on when Luna parked her car beside Endora’s that night, but the rest of the house was dark. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved that no one was still up. One part of her was glad she had been wrong about Endora being nervous. The other part wished that Endora had been up so she could tell her all about her day—like they had always done.
“Hello,” Aunt Bernie said from the bottom step. “I don’t have whiskey tonight, but if you want a little nip, it’ll only take a minute to run out to my trailer and get a bottle.”
“What are you doing sitting here in the dark?” Luna asked.
“It’s too cold to wait for you on the porch,” Bernie answered with half a shrug, “and I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were all right. Of course, I don’t sleep until after midnight anyway. It comes with the territory of not closing the bar until two o’clock.”
Luna sat down beside her and draped an arm around Bernie’s thin shoulders. “I’m fine, but the sisters have plans for tomorrow morning, so we should both get some sleep. You don’t want to miss any gossip, so you better set an alarm.”
“If I’m not here when the fun starts”—Bernie stood up—“you call me and let it ring until I answer.”
“I will,” Luna promised and watched her aunt slip out the front door.
Luna tiptoed up the stairs, opened the door into her bedroom, and switched on the light to find Endora sleeping in her bed. She rose up to a sitting position and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “You are finally home.”
“Why are you in my room?” Luna asked.
“I wanted to be sure you got home, and I’ve got some questions that I need answered. I couldn’t sleep in my own bed until we talked. Being in here was like we were together,” Endora said.
My gut feeling was right, Luna thought as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “What are these pressing questions?”
“Did you ever like Kevin or Krystal?” Endora asked, then covered a yawn with her hand.
“Do you want the truth or a sugarcoated lie?” Luna asked.
“I want the truth,” Endora answered.
“I didn’t like either of them, but Krystal was your friend, and you were dating Kevin, so I didn’t say anything,” Luna answered.
“Why? What was your reason?” Endora asked.
“Kevin had a wandering eye. He flirted too much with other women, especially Krystal. I don’t know why he proposed to you because it was evident to me that he wasn’t ready to settle down.”
“He sure settled down with Krystal soon enough,” Endora argued.
“The scandal at the school caused that—at least in my opinion,” Luna said. “The teachers and administration were upset with him for what he did to you. He had to marry her to save face,” Luna added, voicing her opinion.
“Okay,” Endora said with a nod. “I can buy that, but why didn’t you like Krystal? She spent a lot of time in our apartment, and you never said a word.”
Luna tried to phrase her answer carefully. Endora didn’t need to feel like her own sister had kept things from her. “That woman gossiped about everyone behind their backs, even her good friends at the school. You can bet anyone like that is talking about you when you’re not around.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Endora asked. “Why did you let me get hurt?”
“You are my sister, my twin,” Luna answered. “I wanted to be wrong, and when Kevin proposed, I even prayed that he would change. And I didn’t let you get hurt. You had to have seen the signs just like I did, and you just swept them under the rug.”
“Did you know about their affair before I did?” Endora asked.
Luna set the rocker in motion with her foot. “I did not know, but I suspected something was up from the way they made eyes at each other like they had this big secret. They were always whispering in the hallways and the teachers’ lounge. I really hoped they were talking about what kind of gifts to buy for you or parties they were planning to throw for you—that kind of thing.”
Endora’s chin quivered, but she didn’t break down and cry. “Will you tell me if you ever have thoughts like that again?”
Luna crossed her heart like she had done as a child. “I promise.”
“We’re twins,” Endora said. “When you hurt, I do. I want us to never lose the closeness that we share, but I want you to be happy like you are right now. I realize that you are going to spend more and more time with Shane, and I respect that now. I was wrong not to trust you, but please, always act on your gut feelings. If you see him whispering to another woman, then confront him, and if I even get a whiff that he’s flirting with others, I will tell you.”
“I will do more than just confront him,” Luna said.
“We’ll do it together if that happens,” Endora declared. “I’m still having trouble getting from anger to acceptance, but I want you to know that I’m here for you like you have been for me all these months. I couldn’t have made it through these tough times without your support.”
Luna hugged her twin sister tightly. “I love you, Sister.”
“I love you right back.” Endora wiggled free of the embrace. “I’m glad we cleared the air, and now I’m going to my room.”
Luna walked Endora to the door. “Are we good then?”
“We definitely are,” Endora said. “You know this would have been easier on both of us if our older sisters would have gotten married and settled down by now.”
“Or if we’d moved away from each other like Rae and Bo?” Luna asked.
“Yes,” Endora said. “Then it wouldn’t feel like we are splitting one heart right down the middle.”
“We’ll figure out how to live apart and be grown-ups—but not tomorrow or even next week,” Luna said.
“Good night,” Endora said with half a smile.
“Good night.” Luna stood in the doorway and watched Endora pad barefoot across the hallway. It seemed like an omen when they closed their bedroom doors at the same time.
Luna crossed the room, picked up her phone, and started to send Shane a message but then changed her mind. She tiptoed downstairs, went out the front door, and drove to his house. No, that wasn’t right. She drove home.
The next week flew by so fast that when Luna looked at the calendar the next Sunday morning, she could hardly believe how fast December was passing. Or that she and Shane had missed church for the second week in a row.
“I need to sneak through the back door. I should already be in the fellowship hall helping Mama and my sisters coordinate things. See you later,” Luna told Shane when he snagged a good spot in the church parking lot.
He kissed her on the cheek and said, “I’ll go see where Remy and your dad are. Save me a chair beside you.”
“You’ll have to save me one.” Luna gave him one more kiss. “I’ll be helping serve dinner, so I’ll be one of the last ones to sit down.”
“Aha,” Aunt Bernie said the moment Luna was in the room. “Did you oversleep or…”
“Bernie!” Mary Jane scolded.
“I’ll just draw my own conclusions from the glow on your face,” Bernie said. “Damn…I mean, dang it…I wish I was young enough to get so tired that I didn’t make it to church the next morning.”
Endora raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t go giving me a dirty look,” Luna told her sister. “I made it in time to help, and I doubt that anyone even missed me in church. They were all thinking about the dinner rather than gossiping about who was sharing hymn books.”
“Amen,” Ursula said. “Remy and I got here late too. I got involved with Daisy’s next few entries in the journal and writing the next chapter, and Remy was working on final tests so we didn’t get to bed until midnight.”
This wasn’t Luna’s first rodeo—or maybe she should think first potluck dinner—so she set about taking lids off casserole dishes and helping arrange everything. Meats—ham, fried chicken, smothered pork chops, turkey—and dressing all on one end, casseroles next, then vegetables, breads, and desserts. She hoped that by the time everyone had gone through the line, there was a little turkey and dressing left and maybe a slice of Dolly Devlin’s pecan pie. She hadn’t had time for a single bite of breakfast.
Aunt Bernie poked her in the ribs with a bony elbow as they were getting the buffet tables ready. “I heard that y’all had to wrangle half a dozen cows trying to take a swim in the Red River. Did you share a shower after all that?”
“Aunt Bernie!” Luna scolded.
Bernie fanned her face with a napkin. “I just now remembered the time that my mother let me go to church with Matty Ray Thomson.”
“Oh yeah?” Luna asked as she admired the table loaded with casserole dishes.
“We went to church all right, but we didn’t go inside,” Bernie whispered. “We had a little of the moonshine that his grandpa made. It was hotter’n blue blazes, but not nearly as hot as the sex we had in the parking lot while we listened to the congregation sing, ‘I’ll Fly Away.’ The memory gives me hot flashes to this day.”
“That was way too much information.” Luna blushed, glad that a parade of folks had begun arriving through the door from the sanctuary into the fellowship hall.
“Where’s Remy and Shane?” Ursula asked.
“I figured they’d be first in line, right behind the preacher and Daddy,” Endora answered. “They should already have been here, unless there was an emergency—” She stopped midsentence and clamped a hand over her mouth. “You don’t think anything is wrong with the puppies, do you?”
“Not on your life,” Bernie said. “I peeked out the door a few seconds ago. Your fellers are all the way to the end of the line with Joe Clay. They ain’t goin’ to give up a chance to eat with their womenfolk. Reminds me of a story…”
Luna held up a palm. “A story that you can tell us at home. I’m surprised that lightning didn’t shoot through the rafters after what you told me a few minutes ago.”
“Me and God made a deal.” Bernie winked. “He can let me get old as long as I can keep all my memories.”
“Y’all are not really in love if you think of dogs before boyfriends.” Endora scowled at both her sisters. “What if Shane or Remy dropped right there in the sanctuary with a heart attack?”
“Don’t even think like that.” Luna shivered.
Ursula shook a finger at Endora. “Or speak such things out loud.”
“Your boyfriends are fine,” Mary Jane said. “They are just romantic like Joe Clay, and for that I’m grateful.”
“So no worries,” Ursula said and then turned to Dolly Devlin, who was next in line. “What can I help you with?”
“I’ll have a serving of that sweet potato casserole,” the short, gray-haired lady who was Bernie’s friend answered.
Luna sidestepped over to Ursula’s place behind the table. “Do you share recipes? I’d love to know the secret for making your pecan pies.”
Dolly shook her head. “Honey, it’s an old family recipe that I promised I wouldn’t give out to anyone that’s not kin to me.”
“Can you adopt me for a day?” Luna asked.
“Nope,” her husband, Walter, said from right behind her. “But…” He leaned over and whispered, “The big secret is to follow the recipe on the back of a bottle of dark corn syrup, only use all brown sugar instead of white, and then throw in two tablespoons of Jack Daniel’s whiskey.”
“Walter!” Dolly scolded. “You don’t tell things like that in church.”
Maybe Bernie should tell Dolly some of her stories, and then Walter’s wouldn’t seem nearly so bad, Luna thought.
“That’s no worse than lyin’ in church about it being an old family recipe.” Walter chuckled.
“I heard all that. Now that you know the recipe, it’s your job to make three for Christmas,” Mary Jane told Luna.
“We’ll hide one and share it later when no one else is around,” Ursula whispered.
“No use in trying that,” Bernie told them. “I can sniff out a pecan pie even if you lock it up in Joe Clay’s gun safe.”
“You wouldn’t hide something like that from me, would you?” Endora asked with an innocent expression on her face. “I’m positive that pecan pie would help me get to the acceptance stage.”
Luna nudged her twin with a shoulder. “You’ve played that card enough, Sister!”
Endora giggled, and the sound was like music in Luna’s ears.
“Speaking of desserts,” Ursula whispered. “Did anyone think to save a bowl of Mama’s blackberry cobbler for Daddy?”
Luna said, “I hid a serving for him in the kitchen.”
The buzz of dozens of conversations and bushel baskets full of gossip still sounded like a field full of bees after most folks had finished eating and were having coffee or a second glass of tea. Some folks were even lining up for seconds when Luna saw Remy, Shane, and Joe Clay finally bringing up the rear of the line. Her heart did one of those little flutters that happened every time she saw Shane—up close or even across the room.
Joe Clay raised an eyebrow at Mary Jane, and she pointed toward the kitchen.
“I saved back a bowl for you, and it’s sitting on the cabinet beside the toaster.”
“Thank you, darlin’,” he said with a grin and then laid a hand on Remy’s shoulder and one on Shane’s. “I’ll try to get her to make another blackberry cobbler for Christmas, but that last bowlful belongs to me.”
“Aww, shucks,” Shane said. “I love cobblers! But for now, it looks like these good folks left plenty for us to fill up on right here.”
“And I do see a little bit of chocolate cake over there,” Remy said.
“Has waiting in line built up your appetite?” Luna teased when she saw how much food was on Shane’s plate.
“A man doesn’t let the gas tank go empty before he fills it again,” Shane teased. “It could cause a major disaster at one of those inopportune moments. Where are we sitting?”
“How about at the table over there on the south side where no one else is right now?” Luna asked as she left her post and fixed her own plate—getting the last portion of the turkey and dressing.
“Better hold on to your boyfriend,” Bernie whispered as they were all sitting down.
“Why?” Luna asked.
Bernie nodded toward the two tall red-haired women coming out of the kitchen. They had their eyes glued on Remy and Shane and were coming right at the table where the sisters were all seated.
“Hello, I’m Felicia,” the curvier one said. “Looks like we’re the stragglers who are getting to eat last. This is my cousin, Kasey. We’ve been washing up the pots and pans in the kitchen with my grandmother, Milly. You might know her. She’s worked at the Dairy Queen in Nocona for years.”
“Yes, we know her,” Mary Jane said. “Glad y’all were able to join us today. Are you going to be members of our little church?”
Felicia settled into the empty chair beside Shane. “No, ma’am. Grandma likes to come with her sister, Aunt Dolly, when she doesn’t have to work on Sunday, and she talked us into coming with her.”
“We don’t go to church anywhere on a regular basis,” Felicia said. “When we don’t have to work, we usually party on Saturday and sleep in on Sunday. Grandma calls us CEO Christians. That means Christmas and Easter Only. I figure that’s better than nothing.”
“I see,” Mary Jane said. “If you ever decide to go to church regularly, we’d love to have you join us here.”
Luna wanted to jump up in the middle of the table and shout, “No!” at the top of her lungs. The way those women were sizing up Shane and Remy, she damn sure didn’t want them coming to church every Sunday.
“Well, thank you, ma’am,” Felicia said.
Kasey sat down on the other side of the table right beside Remy and batted her eyes at him so often that it made Luna want to strangle her and watch her turn blue.
Kasey flashed what Luna called a fake smile across the table at Mary Jane. “Grandma and Aunt Dolly are taking the second shift in the kitchen so we can eat. They told us we might meet some good-lookin’, church-goin’ men here, and they weren’t wrong.” She turned her focus back to Remy. “Grandma says that you’re a professor over at the college in Gainesville. I went there for two years, but then the money ran out. I intend to go back someday, though, and get my degree in early childhood development. What do you teach? I might take your classes when I enroll again. Maybe we could talk about it over drinks some evening.”
“American history,” Remy answered. “I’m pretty sure it’s not a required class in the field you are planning to study.”
“Oh, honey,” Kasey downright flirted, “I’d take that class just to hear you talk.”
“Oh! My! God! I mean ‘gosh’ since we’re in church,” Felicia gasped, shifting her gaze from Luna to Endora and back again. “There’s two of you that look just alike. You have to be twins.”
“Yes, we are,” Endora said from across the table. “I’m Endora, and Luna is my sister.”
“Me and Felicia get mistaken for twins, but we’re just cousins.” Kasey kept looking from one twin to the other. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen twins that still look so much alike when they’re grown women.” She finally noticed Ursula. “Do you have a twin too?”
Remy slipped an arm around Ursula and gave her a hug. “This is my girlfriend, Ursula, but she’s not a twin.”
“But we do have another set of twins in the family, Rae and Bo, and two more sisters, Ophelia and Tertia,” Ursula said.
“Pleased to meet all y’all,” Kasey said and winked at Felicia. “Where did you get such unusual names?”
“We get that question a lot. My mama is a romance writer. She writes under M. J. Marsh,” Luna answered.
“And all seven of my girls are named for characters in whatever book I was writing at the time they were born,” Mary Jane said.
“Seven?” Kasey gasped.
“That’s right,” Mary Jane replied. “Three single births and then two sets of twins. Seven baby girls in just a little more than five years.”
“Did you have a nanny?” Felicia asked.
“No, she did not,” Ursula answered. “She raised us by herself and managed to put out three books a year and used her earnings to put my father through med school at the same time. Her superhero cape is hanging in the hall closet at the Paradise.”
“That would be our home,” Endora said. “It’s just up the road a little way. Y’all should see it all lit up at night.”
“Or better yet, we’re having a Christmas open house on Tuesday night from six to ten,” Joe Clay said with a smile. “Your aunt Dolly will be there. Y’all should join her. There’s always lots of food and eggnog.”
Felicia cut her eyes over to Shane. “Thank you for the invitation. We’ll save the date and be there.”
Luna laid a possessive hand on Shane’s arm and then shot a dirty look across the table at Joe Clay. Why would he do something so downright stupid? She didn’t need Felicia trying to slip in between them and cause problems. “Mama, it looks like you’ve got plenty of help,” Luna said when she’d finished the last bite of her dessert.
“Oh, no!” Mary Jane shook her head. “I know what you are thinking, but you can’t run off before Santa Claus comes. I want a picture of you and Shane with him. Y’all have to stand behind his chair,” Mary Jane answered, “and then we’re taking a photo of all the kids that are here, including Shane and Remy, in front of the Christmas tree. We’ll have them printed and bring them to church next week for their parents to take home.”
“But we’re not all here yet,” Luna argued. “The rest of the sisters won’t get home until tomorrow, and we usually do the Santa pictures when we’re all seven together.”
“That doesn’t matter. We’ll do more Santa pictures when everyone is home,” Joe Clay said. “Your mama loves pictures. She still has all the albums she’s made since you girls were babies. Do you remember what she used to threaten you with when you were teenagers?”
“Sweet Lord!” Endora whispered.
“He is at that,” Mary Jane agreed, “but I do not threaten, darlin’”—she touched Joe Clay on the cheek—“and all my girls can tell you that I deliver what I promise.”
“She’s a good bit like me in that area,” Bernie said. She turned to Felicia and Kasey. “So you girls like to party, do you?”
“Yes, ma’am, we do,” Kasey answered.
“I owned a bar for right about sixty years, and I can tell you right now, that’s not the place to find a man who wants a lasting relationship.” Bernie filled a fork with sweet potatoes.
“Maybe we just want a fling,” Felicia said with a sideways glance and a wink at Shane.
Shane completely ignored the woman and said, “Miz Mary Jane, tell me more about the picture albums.”
“It means that Mama would threaten us,” Ursula explained, and then she did a perfect imitation of Mary Jane’s voice. “If you don’t behave, I will bring out all my albums and show them to your boyfriends.” She turned toward Mary Jane and asked, “Are you going to drag them out for Remy and Shane?”
“You mean like real pictures, not digital?” Felicia asked and then shivered. “I’m glad my mama and grandma didn’t keep records like that.”
“Amen!” Kasey agreed.
Luna remembered those horrible pictures that had been taken when she started high school, back when her mother finally let her wear makeup. Ursula had tried to help her learn the art of putting it on, but she had pushed her sister away. The pictures that were taken all that year—holidays, spring break when the family went to Disney World—proved that she should have listened to Ursula.
Her thoughts were interrupted when a vision of baby pictures popped into her head. There she and Endora were, lying side by side on a white fur rug, each wearing nothing but a headband to hold back their wispy blond hair.
Shane leaned over and whispered softly, “I can read your mind right now. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
“In that case”—she pointed at him—“you go first.”
“Any time,” he said and then went back to eating his dessert.
“Y’all excuse me,” Joe Clay said as he pushed back his chair and headed for the door.
Shane followed suit. “Me too.”
“And me,” Remy added.
“I understand where Daddy is going, but why Shane and Remy?” Ursula asked.
Mary Jane’s eyes twinkled like they did when she had a secret that she could hardly keep inside. “They passed the first test for boyfriends.”
Luna was speechless for a few seconds. “Mama, you didn’t!”
“Do you know something that we don’t, Luna?” Ursula demanded.
“Like I said, wait and see,” Mary Jane answered. “But both of y’all need to realize that it takes a confident and strong man to do what y’all’s boyfriends are doing.”
Luna started to say something but then she heard, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” and Santa Claus came through the back door, followed by two elves who were well over six feet tall. Jingle bells on the curved toes of their green shoes tinkled with each step. Green tights and green tunics almost reached their knees, but instead of the traditional elf hats, they had cowboy hats perched on their heads. Little kids swarmed around them like bees around a honeypot and followed them all the way from the door to the chair where Santa took a seat, and the two elves set big green bags on either side of him.
“Good God!” Bernie piped up from the end of the table where she had been quietly—for a big change—eating her dinner. “I wish I’d known those guys would dress up like that before now. They would have made a big splash at Bernie’s Place. I wish Bubba Wilson would have had a getup like that instead of that rip-away police uniform he liked to use when we did role-playing.”
“You did what?” Felicia gasped.
“Hon…nee”—Bernie drew the word out—“don’t tell me two hussies like you girls don’t know anything about role-playing. I knew lots of barflies like y’all through the years.”
“Oh, yeah, what kind is that?” Kasey growled.
“The kind that don’t have very many morals in their pockets. Take it from me, girls, if you’re thirsty, you better go to another watering hole other than where Remy and Shane are hanging out. The seven Simmons sisters protect theirs with more than you want to deal with,” Bernie said out of the corner of her mouth. “And if they need help, I’ve broken up enough bar fights to know how to help them out.”
“Are you threatening us, old woman?” Felicia asked.
“Aunt Bernie does not make threats,” Luna said. “And she’s very wise, not old.”
Bernie leaned over and whispered, “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite.”.
Without another word, Felicia and Kasey picked up their plates and headed back to the kitchen.
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Santa said again as he got comfortable in the big chair in front of the Christmas tree in the corner. “Has everyone been good little boys and girls? If you have, then I might have a present for you.”
“Yes!” The shouts and squeals could be heard from all over the room.
Luna and Endora had helped wrap the presents in the bags for weeks so they knew that every little child who came to the services and the potluck that day could have a gift. Santa—a.k.a. Joe Clay Carter—would give a surprise from his right side to the boys and from his left to the girls.
“I told you that Remy and Shane had passed a big test in Joe Clay’s eyes.” Mary Jane smiled as she stood up and motioned for her daughters to follow her. “It’s time for us to set up the table with the nut, fruit, and candy sacks for the kids to take home with them.”
Luna pushed back her chair and locked eyes with Shane. He tipped his cowboy hat and smiled. She whipped the phone out from the pocket of her long, denim skirt and took a quick picture of him. Nothing—not one solitary thing—that he could see in her mother’s albums would ever worry her again, not after seeing her boyfriend in green tights and a cowboy hat. And she had the picture to prove it.
The albums didn’t come out that night after everyone was back at the Paradise, but Mary Jane had printed copies of the pictures she had taken at the church and brought them out of her office to share. “Test two passed,” she whispered to Luna as she passed out the photographs.
“And that was?” Luna asked.
“They were willing to take pictures in those costumes,” Mary Jane answered.
“Didn’t we look cute,” Shane said as he looked down at his copy of the pictures she had taken at the church. “Luna, darlin’, if you had one of those red-and-white costumes like girl elves have, we could both dress up when we take cookies around to all the folks. The folks in the nursing home would get a big kick out of seeing elves coming to visit. They’d love a little excitement to go with their cookies.”
“If she don’t want to do that, I will,” Bernie said. “I might even sing and dance for the residents there. Man alive, I’m glad I’m not in their shoes. I’m glad I’ve got family that’s willing to let me and Pepper live in their backyard.”
“We wouldn’t put you in a nursing home, no matter how nice it is,” Mary Jane said.
“Luna’s got a costume,” Ursula said. “When she was sixteen, Mama bought her and Endora each one of those little red-and-white shortie things so they could be Santa’s helpers and help pass out presents at the church potluck. They both whined about wearing them, but Mama threatened them with the albums. Someday, you’ll get to see the pictures if Mama makes good on her word.”
“I’ll wear mine if you will wear the elf costume,” Luna said as a picture of bedroom role-playing flashed through her head. Why did Bernie have to say that about role-playing? Now it was stuck in Luna’s head.
“I’d be willing to bet that neither of you have that kind of nerve,” Endora said.
“How much?” Luna asked.
“Fifty bucks,” Endora answered without hesitation.
Luna stuck out her hand. “You are on.”
Endora shook it. “I’m glad to take your money, but I do have one request. You have to take a selfie of yourselves in the nursing home and at least a couple of the houses where you take the cookies as proof. I don’t just hand out money on your word.”
“We’ll take the pictures,” Shane said, “and we’ll use the money to buy Christmas presents for the new puppies. Speaking of those critters, I’d better be going home to feed them.”
“Me too,” Remy said as he stood up. “It’s starting to get dark, and I’ve got chores.”
“I’ll go with you,” Ursula said as she got to her feet and followed him out the back door.
Shane stood and pulled Luna up with him. “Walk me to the door?”
“Of course,” she answered. “Will you tell the puppies that I’m missing them?”
When they reached the foyer, he dropped her hand and put on his coat and hat. “I wish you were coming home with me tonight. I promise I’ll wake you before dawn.”
“Me too, but all of us will be swamped for the next couple of days,” she said as her arms snaked up around his neck. “Rae and Bo, Tertia and Ophelia will all be here before morning. They always take a couple of personal days and come home for the Christmas party and then come back a few days before the holiday.” She gave him a long kiss that promised nights at his house later in the week. “We’ll be cooking and working for the open house right up until we open the doors for folks to come inside on Tuesday night.”
“Then cookies on Wednesday?” He held her close to his chest for another minute before stepping back.
“And a sleepover?” she asked.
“Yes, please, ma’am.” He grinned, gave her a quick kiss on the lips, and left.
Luna marched back into the living room where the rest of her family was watching a Hallmark Christmas movie. She popped her hands on her hips and demanded, “Okay, Daddy, what were you thinking when you invited those two women to our party? Didn’t you see how they were flirting with Remy and Shane?”
“If he hadn’t invited them, I would have,” Bernie said. “I’ve been itchin’ for a good old-fashioned bar fight for a month. That would liven up any party for sure. I haven’t gotten to kick the sh…crap out of anyone in a long time, but I’ve still got my fightin’ skills.”
“I saw exactly what they were doing.” Joe Clay nodded the whole time he answered.
Luna crossed her arms over her chest, drew down her eyebrows, and tapped her foot on the floor. “Then why would you sabotage my and Ursula’s relationships?”
“I didn’t,” Joe Clay replied. “What I did was make it possible for both of you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your boyfriends could take a little more heat without getting burned.”
“What you saw in the church was just a little opening act for what could be coming, so bring out your boxing gloves.” Bernie chuckled and put up her fists in a fighting position.
“Y’all need to know if what you think you have with Shane and Remy is worth fighting for. There will always be trials and tests in a committed relationship. Remember the preacher who came to dinner when you girls were little?” Mary Jane added.
Ursula nodded. “None of us could ever forget that wimpy little man, but we put him going really fast. By the time dinner was over, he couldn’t wait to get out of here. We had a seven-sister committee meeting in my room when we found out he was coming and set up a plan to get rid of him. Endora threw a fit because Mama invited him.”
Luna plopped down on the sofa. “We didn’t want him to be our daddy, so we had to do something. That was in Endora’s selective vegetarian days. She would scarf down a hamburger, but she wouldn’t eat lasagna with meat in it. The preacher was real happy about that since he didn’t eat anything that once had a face.”
“And when Ophelia had told everyone at school that we were turning the Paradise into a place for Baptist nuns,” Endora said, laughing.
“Do tell more,” Bernie said.
“He scolded me when I welcomed him to Paradise,” Ursula remembered. “He said that I should say ‘our home.’ That was when we decided that if he made it past dessert, it would be a miracle.”
“Then Mama served him a glass of sweet tea to drink while we waited for the lasagna to heat up, and he said it was too strong and weak,” Endora said. “And he made a play for Mama while he was redoing his tea. He said something about her perfume, and she told him that us girls had bought it for her at Walmart.”
“And after that, he tried another tactic and asked Mama when she was going to stop writing and do something more spiritually profitable with her time,” Ursula said.
“How did you know all that? You girls were upstairs,” Mary Jane asked.
“They sent me down to eavesdrop,” Endora said with a smile. “When he said that he didn’t think it was proper for Joe Clay to be living here, I almost ran into the kitchen and kicked him in the knees.”
“This all just proves what I was telling those hussies about you girls all standing together if one of you is threatened.”
“Yep, we did,” Luna said. “Remember when he got all prim and proper and told us we shouldn’t be eating sugar, that neither he or his mother would ever think of eating it because it was poison for the body? Then he said that he would have to train us girls to have watered-down sweet tea on Sundays only. Then we would have to give up meat.”
“I decided right then and there that I wasn’t a vegetarian anymore, and I ate a big chunk of that lasagna. I didn’t want to be like that sorry sucker,” Endora said with a smile.
“Then Ophelia said, ‘Praise the Lord,’ and got in trouble for using the Lord’s name in vain. So she said that we were training to be nuns,” Luna remembered. “Preacher Francis asked if we were Catholic, and Luna told him that we all had different fathers. I can still see his pasty face turning even paler. He asked Mama if she’d been married five times.”
“And I told him no, just the once.” Mary Jane burst out laughing. “I had forgotten that whole incident. But I do remember that suddenly he had to get home to his mommy. He actually called her that. We never saw him again.”
“You girls fought for what you wanted when it came to that preacher.” Joe Clay laughed with Mary Jane and then dried his eyes on a napkin. “Now, let’s see if you are willing to put forth some effort to save your relationships with Remy and Shane. Maybe Felicia and Kasey won’t even show up, and if they do, they might bring a date, just to try to make the guys jealous.”
“So you’re telling me that you invited those two awful women to test me and Shane?” Luna asked.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Endora said.
“Me too,” Bernie agreed. “I can’t wait for the party now. It’s been years since we’ve had a good old catfight in the house. And you girls need to write down some of this stuff that happened when you were little girls.”
“Aunt Bernie!” Mary Jane scolded.
“Well, it has been a long time,” Bernie declared. “Just so you know, Luna, I’m willing to throw my fists into the fight if you need some help.”
Mary Jane pointed right at Luna. “I was hoping, since you’re used to pulling prepubescent boys apart in schoolyard fights, I could depend on you to break up a fight.”
Luna shook her head. “Not me, Mama. I’ll be the one on the top of the dogpile getting my licks in. Nobody messes with my sisters.”
“I’ll be right there with you,” Endora added. “I’ll get a picture of Krystal in my mind, and I’ll pretend that she’s the one I’m clawing at. I already feel better just thinking about it.”
Luna moved across the room and sat down on the arm of Endora’s chair. “As long as y’all stand back and let me at those two hussies first, we’ll be just fine. Daddy, you should know that I’m ready to fight for Shane, and I know Ursula won’t let anyone get between her and Remy. Even if it shuts down the party, I will do it. The rest of y’all can tag in if we can’t get the job done. Nobody messes with the Simmons sisters.”
Endora flipped back her long, blond hair. “You got that right.”
“Damn straight!” Bernie did a fist pump.