Chapter 10

Kayla barely slept. Trying to not think was harder work than thinking, and it had taken her nearly all night to push intrusive thoughts away.

She showered, dressed, took her violin out, and practiced for a full hour before the smell of sausage and eggs wafted up to her. Sooner or later, she'd have to eat. And sooner or later, she'd have to face Jake. If only she could understand what it was she dreaded about it, she could prepare herself. The night before now felt surreal.

She strolled into the kitchen with a greeting, served herself breakfast, and said, "Thank you for breakfast," all without looking at him. He acknowledged her standard murmurs with a few of his own.

When she finished eating, she got up to wash the skillet and dishes, and Jake came up beside her to give her his plate and help her dry everything off.

"I should get a dishwasher in here soon," he said.

"It's okay. I don't mind doing the dishes," she replied, before quickly realizing it was a dumb remark because she was never be coming back. "I mean, you don't have to go out and get one today because I don't mind doing the dishes while I'm here, but of course it'll be a good idea to buy one in case the next woman who comes here doesn't want to do the dishes with you," she rushed to clarify. But that was an even stupider thing to say because she now sounded as if she was thinking about the other women Jake would bring over. Which she hadn't been. But now was.

Naturally, that was followed by the thought that he probably brought tons of conquests to his house by the river. Clearly, he was skilled, and skill, she knew, took practice. She was now one of many. How amazingly unoriginal. Her self-esteem momentarily went down the drain with the warm, sudsy water and she took a few steps back, took get away from him, and stopped only because she hit the island. Jake shut the water off and faced her.

"Kayla, I've never brought another woman here, okay? I don't even bring them home. I usually stay—" he stopped and breathed out. "What I mean is—"

"You don't owe me any explanations, Jake. I wasn't jealous or anything. I was just babbling."

"All right. No explanations. I just wanted you to know that in case it did matter to you, even though we both know it shouldn't." He leaned against the kitchen sink, crossed his arms, and looked at her.

Kayla swallowed hard. "But you know what? Now that we're on the subject, why haven't you brought any other women here? It's out of the way and secluded..."

 

Jake cleared his throat. "Because I don't want anyone intruding. This is my... I don't know, my haven, I guess you could call it. But it seemed like you needed a haven, too."

"I did. Thank you. But yesterday, you said it was because you thought I was good for you."

"You are. I love hearing you play. I don't know much about music, but you draw me in somehow and make me feel whatever you're feeling," he said, edging a little closer, hoping hard she wasn't regretting last night. He'd been terrified all morning, and her playing hadn't given him a clue. Unlike yesterday. She was serious, and he decided to tease her, which always got a reaction, whether a laugh or a scowl. "Like yesterday. I knew exactly what you were feeling by the way you played," He held out his hand, and his heart sank when he saw the uncertainty in her eyes. But she took it. He gave it a gentle tug, and she was finally in his arms again. Hesitantly, as if he hadn't spent the most glorious night of his life with her, he brought her chin up so that he could look into her eyes.

Then, without taking his eyes off hers, he lowered his mouth onto hers. She sighed and kissed him back slowly. Seductively. When he couldn't take much more, he lifted her up onto the island, where he could reach more of her. They didn't make it out of the kitchen until noon.

Almost only one of the projects he'd planned on completing got started. It was impossible to stay away from Kayla when every one of his nerve endings reached out to wherever she was. He only worked peacefully when she practiced her violin. She was adamant about it, and he admired her discipline.

No matter where he was in the house, her music reached him, and no matter how arduous a task he was trying to get done, he felt at ease with the world, knowing she was steps away.

After dinner, Kayla went upstairs, hinting at a surprise. Jake nearly salivated, imagining her in something flimsy, lacy, and red. But when she came back down, she was swaying a long, red skirt around with one hand and holding her phone up with the other. "I thought I'd teach you how to dance merengue!" she said, playfully twirling her skirt.

It wasn't what he was expecting, but there was no way he could say no to her happy face, even though he really didn't want to merengue. He didn't know what merengue was, but it didn't sound like it was something any Kelly would do. Salsa at SummerDance had been a fluke.

Kayla played a spirited song on her phone, grabbed his hands, and pulled him close. He pretended to sigh in protest when she put his hands into position on her waist and shoulder when in reality it brought back a pleasant memory.

"Come on, it's fun and easy. It's basically marching. Left right left right left right left right," Kayla chanted as she began to move. Jake looked at her and raised both eyebrows suggestively when he felt her swaying, sizzling hip under his hand. His other hand slipped down to her other hip, which moved in an equally hypnotic rhythm, but Kayla tugged it back up to her shoulder. "Come on, you're not moving! Just take one step to each beat of the music, left, and right. Don't act like you don't want to. I know you had fun last time we danced." Jake rolled his eyes and began to move. He was rewarded with a quick kiss, so he tried a little harder. The music, pulsing with festive beats, helped.

A song infused with sensual, throbbing, rhythms called "Suavemente" began to play, and they danced in close position for a while. He gained confidence and began to take control, and her body became supple and more limber in his arms. "What's this song about? 'Suavemente' means 'softly,' right?" Jake asked.

"It's about kissing." Kayla looked up at him, and Jake nodded. He wouldn't have thought anyone could make up an entire song about kissing until he'd kissed Kayla. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of it.

She began instructing him again, to get him to move with what she called a Cuban Motion, and Jake complied, knowing there was only one thing in the world he'd find more satisfying than crushing his hips against Kayla's in such a sensual way. Pretty soon, he got the hang of the Cuban Motion, and by the next song, Kayla was teaching him a very suggestive move called the pretzel.

The more she moved, the hotter her skin felt against his. It was impossible not to slip his hands down to her hips and hold her close to him when she swayed and moved in such tortuous ways. "You're right, this is fun," he said, reluctantly taking a step back. It surprised him that he didn't want her to think he was just another single-minded male. He enjoyed just being with her, and he wanted her to enjoy just being with him, too.

She smiled up at him. "It is, isn't it? I feel like we could do this for—"

Jake's body stopped moving by its own volition, and he held his breath, hoping she wouldn't finish the thought. "For the rest of this weekend," she finished.

* * *

Kayla placed her head on Jake's shoulder for a while so he wouldn't see her burning cheeks, and so she could memorize his unique scent. She couldn't believe she'd almost said forever. But his eyes had been ablaze, and his body had felt so right against hers that she'd nearly lost her mind. His reaction brought her back down to earth, and she'd been glad for it.

"I hate awkwardness, and I know you know I almost said forever. But I didn't mean it in the literal sense. It's like when I say I could eat pizza and flan for every mean for the rest of my life," she finally said. "There's nowhere for us to go from here, and that's the way we both said we wanted it."

Jake was quiet for a while. "No, not now. Now is impossible. We're both trying to jumpstart consuming careers. As soon as wet back home, we'll be worlds apart."

"Not now, and not ever," Kayla corrected. "We're not compatible in real life. We've always been worlds apart. It's why we argue all the time."

"Right. All the time." They danced slowly, holding each other close, in quiet understanding that this would all soon end.

* * *

They spent their last day and night together in normal, everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning and watching TV, interspersed with making love, sharing thoughts, old stories, and hopes.

Sunday morning, Kayla awoke to soft sunlight, and Jake's warm, solid arms around her. It seemed like he was hanging on than a hug, but she knew it wasn't so.

A few hours later, they were in the car and pulling away. Kayla didn't look back. She stared out the window, a strange, peaceful emptiness settling within her. Jake took her hand in his and concentrated on the road.

"Kayla?" he spoke. It had been the only sound between them since they'd left, almost an hour before.

She squeezed his hand in response.

"You're quiet. Are you having regrets?"

"We're both quiet, and no, I don't have regrets. I feel as if I should, but I don't," she reassured him. "I—I'll probably never live anything like that again." A good thing, since it was dangerously consuming. It felt like she was walking away from a dream.

He cleared his throat. "Where do we go from here?" he asked. Each mile was bringing them closer and closer to reality, and Kayla guessed he was still worried she'd have expectations. She wasn't offended that he needed reassurance. A scandal from her could tank the campaign and all hi shard work.

"Well, we find a way for me to get home without anyone seeing us together. I think you should drop me off at Robbie's."

"That's not what I meant."

Kayla sighed. "I know what you meant, and I'm trying to tell you that you don't have to worry. I told you before. This is it. I go home, you go back to your campaign, and this will all be a sleepy memory. I don't want anything from you." But it hurt her that he was worried she should.

Jake was silent. "So, this is it," he finally repeated, a new, steely note in his voice. "We part ways, and never see each other again?"

Suspicion crept into her mind, and her heart sank. "Yes. What did you expect? Some secret, torrid affair?"

"Torrid affair? Where'd you get that?" Jake demanded and seemed genuinely upset.

She shrank back. "Too much exposure to the novelas my mom watches?" He gave her a look. "Sorry—but you sound like you're not ready for this to be over, and what else could you mean?"

Jake let go of her hand to run a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I hadn't gotten that far. I—I know what I don't want, but maybe I don't know what I do want." He shook his head. "If that makes any sense."

She let the hand he'd been holding, which was still in the air, palm up as if waiting for him to take hold of it again, drop. "It does. I know what I don't want, too. We barely know each other. Lust fizzles, Jake. It's a proven scientific fact that it lasts about two years. And I'm definitely not going to risk destroying my heart over two years."

"Destroy your heart?" He glanced over at her. "Is this from a novela again? Because you just said that what we have is lust and nothing more."

Kayla closed her eyes. That last things she wanted to say was probably the last thing he wanted to hear. "I did... but give me time, and emotional woman that I am, I—I'll go and fall for you. And then you'd leave. I don't want heartache like that, ever." The very idea of it made it difficult to breathe. She wiped her hands on her jeans and looked out the window.

There was a long silence. "I'm not my father, Kayla. Or even my mother. And you're not your sister or your mother."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You say we barely know each other, but you're wrong. We're more alike than you think. We've both taken huge steps to avoid feeling too much because we don't want to end up like the people we love. I never wanted to be like my father, losing everything I've worked hard for and hurting everyone around me over every new woman, but I sure as hell didn't want to be like my mom, losing years of happiness with a person who didn't deserve her. And you don't want to end up like your mother and sister, unable to get on with your life because a man you loved is no longer there. It's why you fell for Robbie and Brandon because deep down you knew there wasn't enough there to destroy your heart."

Kayla was shocked into a long, tense silence. Finally, she said, "I don't know what we're talking about anymore."

Jake sighed. "Neither do I. I know why things are the way they are, but I don't know that I want them to change. Forget I said anything. If I said anything at all. I'm not even sure."

She wasn't either. They had gone around in circles, and all she knew was that they hadn't ended up quite where they'd started.