Nic curled his hands into fists so as not to pull Riley into his arms. She stood before him, a mixture of hurt, affection, and desperation on her face. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Had chosen her. He couldn’t. Not yet.
All he had to offer her was the bleak future he’d described. He loved her enough to let her have a chance at a real life with a male who could give her all the things he couldn’t. No matter what she decided, though, Nic wouldn’t take his place as alpha or claim a shifter mate. He’d follow her into death. It was the years between that were up in the air.
Riley raised her chin. “The only mistake you made was in thinking you could live a life torn between love and responsibility. You can’t. Doing so will make you weak.” She turned imploring eyes on him. “You’ll be worthless—as an alpha, a mate, and a father.”
Nic stared into Riley’s eyes, more confused than he’d ever been at the fact that her words mirrored his own and over the reaction of his wolf. Nic had been struggling to keep it contained all day. It had been edgy and revved up with the approaching moon, but in the face of Riley’s harsh words, it sat on its haunches and listened, ears perked and head cocked as it watched her through Nic’s eyes. He wanted to read into its behavior but knew better.
It was an animal, a beast that only thought of one thing—power.
“Is that really what you see? An unsalvageable male?”
“No, not unsalvageable. Broken.” She stepped closer and laid a hand over his chest, right over his heart. Her touch pushed the shock over his wolf’s reaction aside and redirected it to Riley and the hold she had over him. “There’s only one thing that’ll save you.”
“What’s that?”
“Love.”
“Whose love will save me? Yours?”
She curled her fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants instead of answering. He wanted her touch too. As soon as she did, however, he’d lose all rational thought. He dropped his hands to her shoulders, holding her in place so she couldn’t go down on him.
“Well, angel? Is your love going to save me?”
“Yes.”
Nic wanted to demand the words ‘I love you’ from her, along with Riley’s promise to live out her life with him but couldn’t. She had to be sure. “Did you not hear what I said? I can’t mate you, not without my wolf’s permission.”
Shoving his hands off, she dropped to her knees and skimmed her fingertips up his calves. He couldn’t make himself stop her. The things she did to him took him to heaven.
At his knees, she broke their stare and replaced her fingers with her lips. The first brush of her tongue to his skin, and his body came to life. He stood still while she kissed her way higher.
“Look at me.” He waited until she peered at him from under her lashes. “Love can’t fix me, not completely. You think to save me, but all you’ll end up with is a male who can’t grow old with you, one who can’t give you children, and one whose mind will slowly unravel. I’ll be insanely jealous without any binding tie to you. Today. Tomorrow. Fifty years from now. It won’t matter. You’ll be the only thing holding my broken mind together. Could you live with that? Knowing I won’t be able to function without you?”
A small smile graced her full lips in answer. She closed her eyes and kissed his inner thigh.
“Answer me.” Nic demanded.
On a small shake of her head, Riley turned her attention to pleasuring him. And with the first swipe of her tongue, his resistance fizzled. Riley owned him and could do whatever she wanted to him.
Tomorrow, he’d demand an answer. Tonight, he’d enjoy her, knowing she loved him enough to fight for him. Here in her arms, he felt right, not broken or worthless. She soothed him. It was only when he left her that he felt lost.
Why couldn’t his wolf see that too?
He opened his soul to the animal and showed his baser half what Riley was to him, what she could be to them—a companion, a friend, and a reason to live. The lust he held for Riley meant nothing to his wolf. It wouldn’t care about Nic’s carnal needs.
His wolf watched, felt, and experienced everything Nic did, but it didn’t respond, not in acceptance or denial. He wanted to force a reaction from his animal, but Riley’s wandering hands eased his frustration.
She needed him. Her demand came through with every rough stroke of her nails on his skin.
Drawing her to her feet, he took her mouth hard, dominating her. Rough, deep strokes of his tongue with hers tore more low sounds from her throat. They enflamed him and encouraged him. He ran his hands down her back, pulling her closer until not an inch separated them.
He drank his fill of her mouth, licking her teeth, cheeks, and tongue to savor her flavor. She tasted like his woman. Heaven. He bent his head and dragged his flattened tongue over her lips once more.
A tug on his damp hair, and she pulled him back. Then stared at him for a long moment. “Nic, your eyes.”
No doubt they were glowing. Neither he nor his wolf controlled the reaction. Based on strong emotion, the automatic response was meant to intimidate opposition or attract mates. The stronger the shifter, the deeper the glow. He grinned, letting her see his fangs, but didn’t respond. At the moment, the only use of his strength he cared about was in how he could use it to pleasure Riley.
Then he did. He loved her, bringing her to highest peaks where only ecstasy ruled. Once his breathing returned to normal, he pressed his lips to hers. “I love you, angel.”
“Love you too, Nic.”
He grinned and held her words close. And if only love was enough, he’d have everything he ever wanted right here in his arms.