This Particular Happiness begins with a quote from Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing by May Sarton: “Love opens the doors into everything, as far as I can see, including and perhaps most of all, the door into one’s own secret, and often terrible and frightening, real self.” How does Jackie Shannon Hollis explore this concept in the memoir? In what ways has loving another opened the doors for you to see your real self?
Jackie’s mother expresses hopes, dreams, and disappointments for her daughter. How important should our parents’ hopes and expectations be? Have you ever felt the disappointment of one of your parents? How did you respond?
Throughout This Particular Happiness, Jackie questions her motivations for wanting a child. What do you think is a good reason to have children? To not have children?
How do you think Jackie’s father’s drinking impacted her early relationships with boys and men? How do you think Bill’s father’s distance impacted Bill?
Before Jackie’s first date with Bill, one friend who knows him says, “He might be kind of boring for you.” Another friend says, “I don’t know if he’s for you. . . I think he likes to party.” What do you think she means when she describes this as ‘people putting stories on other people’?
How do you think Jackie’s sexual encounters and failed relationships impact her decision to stay with Bill despite their difference regarding the desire for children? Why do you think she stays?
On a vacation in Mexico, Jackie becomes attracted to another man. Why is this an important scene? How do you think it changed things for Jackie? Have you had a moment in your relationship when you realized the choice you made would change the course of your future?
Brief chapters focus on Jackie’s husband and his childhood. What purpose do they serve? How did these scenes inform your understanding of why Bill did not want children?
Bill remains consistent about his decision to remain childfree. How did you feel about his stance on this, despite Jackie’s longing?
How do you explain Jackie’s sudden urge to have a child? Where do you think the urge to have a child comes from?
At the end of chapter thirty-one, Jackie writes, “Knowing where your scars come from doesn’t make them go away.” In this moment, she is referring to Bill, but how do you think this applies as a larger theme in This Particular Happiness?
Jackie’s experience of her childless decision evolves over time. What does she do to make peace with her decision and to avoid resenting Bill? In your own life, what have you learned to accept, and in turn live with, even though you might have made another choice?
How are the tragedies in the book related to the central question of whether or not to become a mother? How have losses in your own life—or in the lives of your friends or family—changed your perspective?
What does Jackie learn about friendship? Do you think friendships are as important and complicated as love relationships? What have you learned about yourself through your friendships?
Near the end of This Particular Happiness, Jackie is driving her mother to their hometown of Condon. They talk about farm life, her mother’s pregnancies, and how Jackie came to be, and Jackie reflects on a loving gesture her mother made many years ago. Why is this moment important to this story?
By the end of the book we have a sense of a hard-won bond between Jackie and Bill. What strategies do Jackie and Bill use to reach this point in their relationship? What do you think it takes for a couple to find their way through a major conflict?
Jackie questions what she should call herself: childless or childfree? By the end of the This Particular Happiness, what label do you think best fits? Is there a word that does not include “child” that we could use to describe a woman who has not had children?
Has your thinking about people who don’t have children changed in any way after reading This Particular Happiness? Is there a difference for you in how you see men’s choices versus women’s choices?
In This Particular Happiness, Jackie explores family legacy, generational expectation, mother-daughter relationships, alcoholism, sexuality, sexual assault, grief and loss, personal growth, relationships, friendships, sisterhood. What situation in Jackie’s life do you most identify with? What surprised you most in this story?