Even though I chased Madeleine, I couldn’t return to the Bois after I lost her in the winding streets.
A boat speeds past, causing the Seine to splash against the retaining walls and push me closer to shore. Instead of going back to the Bois, I’m hiding like the coward I am.
Madeleine has every right to be angry and end our friendship, but what then? If Henri releases her, she will die. If he doesn’t, she will be trapped in her half-life until she breaks the enchantment.
Cull our flock, Henri had said. Send Madeleine away. Live eternity without her.
A sob lodges in my throat. Henri warned me this would happen, yet I thought I could outplay him. Haven’t all these years taught me anything? He wants me all to himself, and I foolishly believed I controlled the situation when I never did.
Henri has gotten his wish. After tonight, Madeleine will never trust me again. She hates me, and if I keep her enchanted—because I have no doubt Henri will make me choose with Madeleine present—she will never forgive me. But would she rather be dead or continue on alone as a swan and have a chance at breaking the curse?
Madeleine’s horror as she realized what I had done crushes me, and the tears I can’t cry in swan form rip from my throat in an agony-filled honk. For a hundred years, I impersonated Madeleine, running off potential boyfriends while consoling her as she grew more frustrated.
Henri never made me. No, I chose this path for myself.
If I had only refused Henri’s offer at the jazz club all those years ago, Madeleine would only be a memory now, and maybe we both would have been better off.
I’ve always believed that without Henri’s magic, I can age and die. Why else would he protect me? Once, I tested my theory and spent every day for a decade praying a hunter would shoot me. Unsurprisingly, every arrow and every bullet missed. I’ve tried stepping in front of cars, falling out of carriages, being thrown from horses, and, once, even tossed myself out a window. But I never get so much as a scratch.
Death would be a fate too kind for me. I deserve a more wretched existence for condemning Madeleine to a half-life and the hurt I’ve caused her.
I rest on the bottom step just above the murky waters of the Seine. It’s time I do the right thing and break my own heart. Either I need to help her with Zig or I need to let her go in whatever way she chooses.
My eyes burn from lack of sleep. I’ve run through scenarios all day, and not one ends with Madeleine forgiving me.
The moon peeks its all-knowing face out from behind the cloud-filled sky. Like most nights, I don’t eagerly await this transformation, but tonight I would give anything to never be a girl again. Then I could stay away from Madeleine and the Ballet. I could fade from her memory and allow her to patch things over with Zig.
Unfortunately, Henri will never allow it. He’s forced me into a corner, and I must make hard decisions.
The Métro is unusually crowded, and I dodge and weave past people even though my body wants to run in the opposite direction. My train rumbles along, and I let the swaying motion calm my nerves. If I can speak with Madeleine after her performance to explain myself and offer to truly help with Zig, there is a small chance she’ll forgive me. It’s the only option I have.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please remain seated. A train ahead of us is experiencing mechanical difficulties. We will resume service once the track is clear.”
No. No. No. No.
I take a long inhale followed by an equally long exhale. This can’t be happening. I need to get to the Ballet. I need to speak to Madeleine.
My stomach knots, and I double over. What if Henri is more cruel than normal and decides to punish me by keeping Madeleine a swan? What if he gives her no choice? How will I live with myself? And I will live with my guilt for eternity since no human means of death seem possible for me.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the track has been cleared.”
A clap goes up and down the carriage, but I slump forward, head in hands as the truth hits me. Henri is the only one who can fix this. He can make Zig fall in love with Madeleine.
But would that break the enchantment?
I creep through the performers’ entrance and run up the stairs to Henri’s office. Madeleine never takes the back stairs, so I don’t worry about seeing her. Plus, she’s probably getting ready in the organized chaos of the dressing room.
Henri’s office light is off, and I lean against the wall and sigh. On the walk from the Seine, I resolved to ask him for help making Zig fall in love with Madeleine. Maybe by putting them in situations together and somehow forcing Zig forget about Madeleine’s appearance at his party. I’m not sure Henri can do these things, but if he can enchant two human girls, he most likely can help Madeleine’s love life.
And maybe, if she can find it within her to forgive me, I can say good-bye to her.
“Do you need something, Lucie?” Henri asks from behind me.
I steady my breath. “You allowed Madeleine to leave early so she’d discover me.”
“Yes.” Henri doesn’t smirk as I anticipated. Instead, he closes the distance between us, takes my hands, and kisses the backs of them. “You were unable to make a decision, so I helped you.”
“You backed me into a corner, and now . . .” The words lodge in my throat. “Now I have no choice but to let her go.” I sniff loudly. “You’ve won.”
“What is it you want?” Henri pulls me close to him and rests his chin on my head. His tight embrace squeezes the air from my lungs. “Shall I set her free? She will never speak to you again.”
“No,” I whisper. “I have a different request.”
Henri holds me at arm’s distance, and his gray eyes probe deep inside me. My skin crawls. “Things cannot continue as they are. Surely you understand this.”
A strange calmness takes hold of me. “Can you make Zig forget that Madeleine has a twin? Can you erase all his friends’ memories of her showing up yesterday?”
“And why would I do that?”
“If you leave Madeleine and Zig alone, I will marry you. I will give you what you’ve desired for so long.”
Henri exhales. “I’ve given you everything. My heart, an eternal life, a best friend, and nothing is ever good enough.” He runs his fingers along my jaw until they rest under my chin. “Look at me.” His voice is no longer gentle, and I stare into his eyes. He sneers now. “You will never love me, because you’re incapable of loving anyone but yourself.”
My body trembles. Henri isn’t wrong. I’ve never acted out of love, and everything I’ve done has been driven by selfishness.
“Please, I’m trying,” I cry. “I will be dutiful and loyal. Just let Madeleine have a chance at love.”
Henri cocks his head. “No. I cannot.” He shoves me against the wall and pins my hands to my sides. “As long as Madeleine breathes, you will pine for her.”
“You never wanted her to break the enchantment? It was never an option?”
He releases me. “For shame, Lucie. Are you only realizing this now?”
“It’s been a game for you?” My legs buckle, and I crumple to the ground as sobs roar out of me.
He peers down at me. “I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve tried, but it’s impossible as long as Madeleine is still in this world.”
He storms down the hallway, leaving me alone and heartbroken.
The first day Madeleine lived as a swan, I cradled her to soothe her fear. She bobbed in the lake in stunned silence as I explained the enchantment and that Henri was a sorcerer who collected beautiful things, and she was the most beautiful of all.
After learning she would not be able to say good-bye to her family because Henri had changed her human appearance, Madeleine wailed. “Has he taken everything from me?”
“No. You can still perform.” I entwined our necks. “And you will always have me.”
Later, when the moon rose, and Madeleine felt the first pricks of her transformation, I promised it would become easier with time, and that she’d grow accustomed to being a swan by day and a girl at night. I even proposed a new jazz club, and she half-heartedly agreed to going.
But just as the magic enveloped us, Henri emerged from the shadows and watched from across the lake. Madeleine gasped and struggled against the transformation, and when she was in girl form, I made a split decision to vilify Henri to deflect my own guilt.
“How could you?” I screamed. “Isn’t enchanting me enough? Why Madeleine, too?” I shielded Madeleine from Henri. “No, don’t come closer. I won’t let you hurt her.”
“Oh?” He prowled along the shore’s edge until reaching us. Behind me, Madeleine sobbed and clung to my hand. “Have I hurt her?” Henri asked.
I shoved him squarely on his chest. “You did this.”
“Did I, though?” Henri lifted his eyebrows.
Madeleine peered over my shoulder, giving me a first glimpse of her new body. Her once bobbed hair now hung past her shoulders in dirty-blonde waves, and her sharp Gaelic nose was wider and more upturned. “Undo this, please,” she begged. “Henri, please.”
Henri sucked in his bottom lip. “Yes, Madeleine, I’ll undo it.” She sighed in relief until Henri held up his finger. “But there is only one way.”
In all our years together, Henri had never hinted at a way to break the enchantment, and my breath hitched.
He took Madeleine’s trembling hand from mine and brought her before him. She was more petite than previously, but she was still gorgeous. It wasn’t surprising. Henri only surrounded himself with beautiful things.
“The enchantment can be broken by finding true love.”
Madeleine eyed him with suspicion. “I need a boy to fall in love with me? That’s all?”
“You need to experience true love.” Henri’s gray gaze lingered on me. “If you find that, the enchantment will be broken.”
“And me?” I asked hopefully.
“You, Lucie, know what you need to do.”