The Women’s Center Clinic took up half the second floor of a small, older office building in downtown Honeygrove. Kelly spent every other Thursday afternoon and evening at the clinic, donating her time. Her office here, with its scarred wooden desk and a cracked window, was a far cry from her spacious suite back at her regular practice, but Kelly didn’t mind. Her purpose was to provide quality health care for those who wouldn’t otherwise be able to receive it.
“All right, Granny Bea,” Kelly said as she patted the older woman’s arm. “Those supplements are working. According to the latest test, you have the bones of a seventeen-year-old runner.”
The white-haired grandmother grinned at her. “You’re exaggerating, Dr. Kelly, and we both know it.”
“Maybe a little, but you’re doing better. Keep taking those pills. Tell Sharon, the nurse up front, to give you another refill. Be faithful, all right?”
The tiny woman, a little bent but still in good physical condition, rose to her feet. She used a cane to help her balance. “You’re a good girl,” Granny Bea said. “I appreciate that you worry about me.”
“Of course I do. You have my number, right?” Kelly made sure all her clinic patients had her number. If there was an emergency, most of them wouldn’t bother going to a hospital. Large institutions hadn’t been kind to the women in this neighborhood.
Granny Bea patted her purse. “Right behind my driver’s license.” She chuckled. “Not that I drive anymore, but I figure if I win the lottery one day, I want to be current so I can go right out and buy a big Mercedes. A black one.”
“I can’t wait to see you behind the wheel.”
Granny Bea was still laughing as she walked to the door. “See you in six months, Dr. Kelly. You take care of yourself.”
“Granny Bea,” Kelly called. “You know the rule.”
The elderly lady shook her head. “Silly child. You really think I’m doing anything like that, with my husband gone to his reward nearly ten years ago.”
“You never know, Granny Bea. If you win the lottery, you’re going to find yourself chasing away young men with your cane. I want you to be prepared.”
“I think it’s foolish. I only use them for water balloons with my grandson. Of course he thinks I’m incredibly hip for such an old lady.”
She reached into the large jar of condoms Kelly kept by the door. One of the rules of both her clinic and her private practice was that every patient had to take a handful home. She didn’t want anyone telling her she’d gotten pregnant or caught a sexually transmitted disease because she didn’t have any handy protection.
“Bye, Granny Bea.”
“Bye, child. You take care and find yourself a man one of these days.”
Kelly grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”
She was still smiling when she walked into the first examining room.
“Hi, Dr. Kelly,” Corina said from her seat on the table.
“How are you feeling?”
“Fat.” Corina wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe how huge I am.”
“Hey, you’re eight months pregnant. What did you expect?”
“I’m the size of the space shuttle.”
Kelly studied the seventeen-year-old’s round belly. “Generally women don’t make space shuttle size until their ninth month. You’re more like the nose cone.”
“Very funny.”
“I am,” Kelly agreed cheerfully. “How are you feeling otherwise?”
While Corina told of swelling and the occasional aches and pains of a basically textbook pregnancy, Kelly examined her. Unfortunately Corina hadn’t become a patient until after she was pregnant, so the free condoms hadn’t been available in time. Now this pretty, intelligent young woman faced motherhood a few months before she was supposed to be graduating from high school.
“Tell me what you’re eating,” Kelly said.
Corina rolled her eyes. “Three servings of protein, one with each meal. Milk with every meal. Fresh vegetables, four servings, and at least two fruits. No sodas, only one candy bar every couple of days.”
“You’re still getting the food stamps?”
Corina nodded. Her long black braids swayed with the movement. She had beautiful wide, brown eyes and skin the color of café au lait.
“I keep them at a friend’s house,” Corina said. “And I only shop for a couple of days at a time. My mom doesn’t know about them.”
“Good.”
The teenager’s mother had a drug problem, not to mention a fondness for alcohol. There wasn’t much money left for things like food and heat. Until Kelly had stepped in, Corina had often gone without a decent meal for days at a time.
“How’s school?” Kelly asked.
“Okay. I’m studying hard. I’ve been talking to my teachers about maybe taking my midterms early, so that I don’t miss them. The baby’s due that week.”
“I’m glad you’re planning ahead, but you do know that the baby might be late, right? This is your first, and they like to take their time.”
“I know. I just want to be prepared.” Corina’s chin dropped. “I’m thinking of getting a job when I graduate.”
“For the summer, you mean?”
“Not exactly.”
Kelly’s heart froze. As the teenager continued to avoid looking at her, her concern grew. “I thought you were going to college in the fall. You have that scholarship to Stanford. Corina, that’s an incredible opportunity. You’re one of the smartest young women I’ve ever met. You have a chance to be anything you want. Why would you turn your back on that?”
The girl shrugged. “I wouldn’t, exactly.”
“Then what’s going on?”
Corina shrugged again.
Kelly struggled for patience. “If you stay here, you’ll always be trapped by your past. Look around you. Is this what you want for yourself? Your mother has been on drugs since she was twelve. You don’t know who your father is. You have half brothers and sisters scattered who knows where. When you leave this town, you can be anyone you want. Your past stops here, and you only have to worry about your future. You have dreams—I know you do. We’ve talked about them. Why don’t you want the chance to make them come true?”
Corina blinked back tears. “I want that so much,” she whispered. “But it’s not like you think. All my friends...they keep their babies. They stay here and find a life. They’ve been telling me that I’m a bad person for wanting to give up my baby. Half of them won’t even speak to me anymore. They’re saying if I was a real woman, I couldn’t give up my child, and that I’m selfish and wrong.”
Tears flowed in earnest now. Corina brushed them away. “Dr. Kelly, I want to be just like you. I want to go to medical school and make something of myself. Then I want to come back to a place like this and save people’s lives. I can’t do that with a baby. I can’t. I want to go to college, but now I’m afraid that it’s wrong to want so much. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should stay here and just get a job. Maybe learn to do hair or something.”
For Kelly, listening to Corina was like staring into the mirror of her own past. She wasn’t sure what to think, let alone say.
“Dr. Kelly? You have to tell me what to do.”
Kelly pressed her lips together. Who was she to give answers? She’d messed up her own life so much she hadn’t been on a date in years. She was afraid to allow herself any joy because she felt she didn’t deserve it. According to her father, she was hiding behind a busy schedule. And she suspected he was right.
She knew the past had a way of catching up with a person, but she hadn’t expected it to come in the form of a lost, frightened seventeen-year-old.
Kelly opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t find any words. Just then she heard a text message notification. Grateful for the interruption, she glanced down at the display.
“It’s the hospital,” she said, trying to keep the relief out of her voice. “I have to call them.”
When she made the call, she was told about an emergency with one of her patients. She hurried back into the examining room.
“I have to go,” she said, telling herself there was no need to feel guilty. “Make an appointment for two weeks and we’ll talk then, all right?”
Corina was still crying.
“I’m sorry,” Kelly said. “It’s an emergency. Remind Sharon to give you your vitamins. You’re doing great. Hang in there.”
What pitiful advice, Kelly thought as she ran down the stairs and raced toward her car. The worst thing Corina could do was to be like her.
As she drove toward the hospital, Kelly vowed she would make it up to the girl. Just as soon as she figured out how.
* * *
Tanner felt as if he’d stumbled into an old master’s painting. Kelly sat in the rocking chair in the corner, holding Lia in her arms. Subtle light brought out the gold in Kelly’s hair and made her skin glow. Lia was awake and staring up into Kelly’s eyes.
Mother and child, he thought as he continued to study them. The same thought had crossed his mind on Thanksgiving. A few weeks ago he couldn’t have imagined having either of them in his life. Now he didn’t know what his world would be like without them.
Kelly looked up at him. “You’re not working,” she said. “The wallpaper isn’t going to hang itself. Or are you waiting for me to offer?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
She smiled, and some of his tension eased. When Kelly had first arrived a couple of hours before, she’d been quiet and withdrawn. Normally she enjoyed talking about her day, but this time all she’d said was that she’d had an emergency at the hospital and that it had cut into her time at the clinic. She’d gone back to see as many patients as possible, but some hadn’t been able to wait for her.
Tanner knew there was something else bothering her, but he wasn’t going to pry. When she wanted to talk, he would listen. Until then, he was content to enjoy her company.
He checked the back of the border print he held. It was tacky but not too wet, so he climbed the short ladder and carefully smoothed it into place.
“It’s crooked,” Kelly said helpfully. “And there are about a dozen air pockets.”
“Thanks,” he muttered, reaching up to adjust the paper. But he’d waited too long and it didn’t slide against the wall anymore. He gave a hard shove. Instead of moving, the border print tore. A short piece separated from the rest and fluttered to the floor.
“Don’t say anything,” he commanded as he ripped off the rest of the strip and flung it down. “I hate hanging wallpaper.”
Kelly cleared her throat. “Wow, so when you offered to pay me back by wallpapering my house, you were lying. Even I can do better than you.”
“Yeah, well, I hate hanging wallpaper. Why can’t people just use paint?” He hunched his shoulder and turned to glare at her. “I wasn’t lying. I would have done it. I was just hoping you’d let me do something else. Maybe something simple like rewiring your house.”
“Or you could have one of your men do it.”
He shook his head. “That wouldn’t work. It’s my debt, so I have to pay you back.”
“No debt,” she said softly. “We’re friends, Tanner. I’m happy to help.”
She was tall and athletic, not at all petite or dainty, yet she was the most feminine woman he’d ever known. The hands holding his daughter were strong and capable. She was someone he could depend on, and there hadn’t been many types like that in his life.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he said, snagging one of the fallen strips of border print.
“Hanging paper?”
“No, hanging a print that’s ballerina teddy bears. It’s so girly.”
Kelly laughed. “You have a daughter. Get used to the girl thing.”
“I guess. I even ordered curtains and the matching lamp. The good news is that when I told Lia about it, she was really happy.”
“Oh? How did you know this?”
“She smiled at me.” He made the statement faintly defensively, but he knew that she’d been smiling at him. Her lips had curved and everything.
“Tanner, she’s two weeks old. She can’t smile. It was gas.”
“It was not.”
“Right.” Her look and her tone were indulgent.
He shifted his attention to his daughter. Two weeks. Was that all the time it had been? It felt longer.
“She still doesn’t have any toys,” he said. “I have to find time to get some before Christmas.”
Kelly shifted Lia and crossed her legs. “Speaking of buying things for your daughter, I’ve been thinking about throwing you a baby shower.”
“Why?”
She grinned. “Don’t look so panicked. It won’t hurt...much. Actually the shower isn’t for you—it’s for Lia. So many people want to see her, and probably see her with you. It would be a lot of fun. We can make it a combination Christmas party/baby shower. We could register you at the baby store and at a toy store. What do you think?”
“Why?”
“You keep asking that. It’s a girl thing. Trust me. I’ll take care of everything. Just say yes.”
He had a bad feeling he was going to regret it, but he muttered, “Yes,” then asked if anything strange happened at baby showers.
“Define strange,” she told him.
“Never mind.”
“We’ll need to pick a date so that I can mail out invitations. We can’t do it this coming weekend because I can’t plan that fast. Next weekend is booked. I’ll have Ryan’s kids until Sunday evening. What about three weeks from today, on the Friday evening before Christmas?”
“Whatever.” He began measuring out a length of the border print. At least he’d remembered to buy double the amount so that he would have enough, despite the occasional mishap. “I can’t believe you’re taking Ryan and Patricia’s three kids for the weekend.”
“I tried to take just a couple of them, but they got pretty insistent that I take all or none. What perfectionists.”
He glanced at her. Laughter glittered in her eyes. “You’re nothing like I thought you’d be,” he told her.
“Meaning?”
“You have a sense of humor. You’re human. I thought doctors were stuffy by nature.”
“They try to teach us that, but I never had time to fit that particular class into my schedule.”
“It’s not just that,” he said. “You don’t act like you’re God. You treat people with respect. I thought you’d disapprove of what I do for a living.”
She straightened in the rocking chair and stared at him. “How could you think that? Tanner, you’re brilliant at what you do. How many people do you know who could coordinate a project of this magnitude? We’re not talking about recarpeting a living room. This is a one-hundred-million-dollar project.”
“It’s just a building. You save lives.”
“And without buildings, people would die from exposure. Everyone contributes in a different way. I would never judge someone based on their work.”
“Like I said, you’re not how I imagined.”
“Doctors are real people, too,” she said. “If we seem a little crabby at times, it’s just because we had to spend so much time in school.”
He looked around the room; then his gaze settled on his daughter, now dozing in Kelly’s arms. “I never thought I would see anything like this. You sitting there, holding my daughter. Of course, I never thought I’d have a child.”
“How do you like it?”
“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Kelly’s smile turned tender. “I’m glad. I’m glad you kept her, and I’m glad you two are so happy together.”
“Me, too.”
He was also glad that Kelly was in his life, but he didn’t tell her that. This wasn’t the time. Then he wondered if that would ever change. Kelly wasn’t for him—even if he was the kind of man who did long-term commitments. Which he didn’t. So they would just stay friends, and he would make sure that was enough.
* * *
Tanner clutched the handle of the baby carrier so hard, he was afraid he might crack the plastic. This was fine, he told himself. There was nothing to worry about. Except he was worried.
He stared around the brightly colored waiting area of the medical office. A parade of animals danced across the walls. There were child-size chairs, as well as those designed for adults, and a collection of toys in the corner. Nothing to fear. So why was there a knot the size of a basketball sitting in the bottom of his stomach?
The office door opened, and Kelly walked in. She wore tailored dark slacks and a red, soft-looking sweater that hugged her curves. The swell of her breasts was nearly enough to take his mind off his panic. Nearly...but not completely.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I was running behind with my patients and...” She took one look at him and laughed. “Relax, Tanner. Lia’s the one getting the examination, not you.”
“I wish it was me,” he said glumly. “What if there’s something wrong? What if she’s sick? What if—”
“Stop!” Kelly said. She took the baby carrier from him and glanced down. As usual, Lia was sound asleep, apparently unaware of her father’s concern. Kelly took a seat and patted the cushion next to her.
“You could take a lesson from your daughter,” she said. “Now sit down and take a deep breath.”
He glared at her, then perched on the edge of the sofa. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“Of course I am. Lia is here to see her doctor. She’s three weeks old, and Patricia is going out of town tomorrow, so she just wanted to check Lia over. There is every indication that she’s a normal, healthy, thriving infant. If there is a problem, better to catch it early. Patricia’s a great doctor. You know that.”
“I know.” He shifted on the sofa. “Sorry. I know I’m acting crazy.”
“You’re acting like a worried parent, but in this case, there’s no reason to be.”
“You’re right.” He studied her. “Thanks for being here with me. I hadn’t really intended for you to take time off work to hold my hand.”
She smiled. “Oh, please. That was exactly your intention. No way you would have survived this on your own.”
The office door opened again, and a mother with a young boy walked in. While the woman went to the glass partition at the reception desk to sign them in, the boy walked over and stared at Lia.
“What’s her name?” he asked.
“Lia,” Tanner told him.
“I’m John.” He held out his hand. There were several tiny stitches along the side of his index finger and across his palm. “Billy and me were playing with a broken bottle and we got cut. I’m better now, but playing with a broken bottle is bad. But Mommy said Santa Claus will forgive me if I clean my room and promise never to do it again.”
Kelly smiled at the boy. He couldn’t be more than five or six. She scooted forward and stared at the stitches, then pointed to a thin, pale line on her own hand.
“That exact thing happened to me,” she said. “I was about your age.”
John’s brown eyes widened. “Did you have to get stitches, too?”
“I sure did. I cried and cried. I was very sorry I’d ever picked up that piece of glass and I never did it again.”
“I didn’t cry,” John said. Then he glanced at his mom and shrugged. “Well, I did a little.”
Tanner found himself caught up in the conversation. Kelly was so easy and natural with the little boy. It was as if she’d known him for years instead of just a few minutes. When John’s mother came over to collect him, she smiled an apology.
“Sorry. He’s a talker.”
“He’s very sweet,” Kelly told the woman.
It made no sense, Tanner thought. Why on earth hadn’t some guy snatched Kelly up before now? She was a prize. Not only was she bright and successful but she had the most giving heart he’d ever seen.
She was different from the kind of woman he usually found himself attracted to. He would bet a month’s paycheck that she didn’t go for trashy lingerie, nor did she wear much makeup. But he was starting to see the appeal of the natural look, not to mention the fact that thoughts of Kelly in plain cotton had kept him up more than one night.
“What a cutie,” Kelly said when John’s mother had led him to the other side of the waiting room, where they started on a puzzle.
“You’re great with kids. Why didn’t you become a pediatrician?”
She didn’t say anything, nor did her body language change, but Tanner could tell she’d shut him out as surely as if she’d started building a brick wall between them.
“What?” he asked. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”
“Nothing.”
“Kelly, don’t. Why are you upset?”
“I’m not.”
But her gaze avoided his. Then, before he could pursue the matter, a nurse opened the door leading to the examining rooms. “Lia Malone?”
“That’s us,” Tanner said. He took the carrier from Kelly and stood up.
“It’s just through here,” the nurse said. She led them into another brightly colored room, this one with a small examining table and too much medical equipment for Tanner to ever be comfortable. The knot in his stomach doubled in size.
“Hi,” Patricia said as she entered. She wore a white coat over scrubs. “Don’t say it. I’m a mess. My first appointment of the day threw up on me, and I haven’t had time to go home and get a change of clothes. I normally keep a spare set here, but they got thrown up on last week and I haven’t brought them back. How’s my little niece?”
“Great,” Tanner said. “I’m sure there’s nothing wrong.”
“I’m sure, too,” Patricia said, her voice reassuring. “I know the first couple of baby visits are nerve-racking on you new parents, but it will get better.”
Kelly leaned against the closed door. “Speaking of nerves, how are you holding up?”
Patricia wrinkled her nose. “You mean given the fact that Ryan and I are leaving tomorrow for our second honeymoon, and I still have a million things to do?” She held up her hand to show it was steady. “I’m nervous but only on the inside. I can’t believe we’re doing this. I’m incredibly happy and a little sad to be leaving the kids. But more happy than sad. I know kids are better off in the long run when their parents take time for themselves as a couple.”
“That’s what you have to focus on,” Kelly said. “I’m going to keep the kids too busy to miss you.”
“I, on the other hand, will miss them like crazy,” Patricia said. “But I’ll get over it.”
The two women laughed, but Tanner didn’t join in. He was too busy thinking, once again, that his brother had gotten lucky with the woman he’d chosen. Patricia and Ryan had a great life together. They made it look so easy. How did Ryan do that? How had he known when it was right? How had he known that it was okay to commit himself to a particular woman?
Not that it mattered, Tanner told himself. He wasn’t the marrying kind. And even if he was, there weren’t any likely candidates around.
His gaze settled on Kelly. He already knew that she was a prize. He also knew that she was out of his league. So there was no point in wishing for what he couldn’t have.
Words to live by, he told himself. Words he’d repeated more than once. Words that suddenly didn’t seem to ring so true.