Sunday morning arrived with crisp fall weather, and as the clouds parted, sunshine found its way between the cracks in the barn where the worship service was being held. Rebecca could feel God’s presence, and it was everything she could do not to cry when the bishop’s wife blessed her with a holy kiss on the cheek. She glanced at Noah just as the bishop blessed him with a holy kiss.
Rebecca and Noah hadn’t talked about wedding plans, and she was happy about that. She wanted to know that she and Noah were both being baptized for the right reasons, and not just because they wanted to get married. Everything was in order for a wedding, but on hold. Penny’s and McKenna’s situations had taken priority. Both girls wore dark circles under their eyes today, and Rebecca suspected they stayed up late talking.
As was normal, the women were on one side of the room and the men on the other. The bishop and deacons were in the middle, along with Noah, Rebecca, and the bishop’s wife.
Rebecca glanced at Penny and McKenna as the bishop said his final prayer. McKenna’s expression was sober, as if she was in deep thought. Penny wept openly. Rebecca had been witness to a lot of baptisms over the years, and each time the Holy Spirit had been present. She could recall that even as a child she’d been overwhelmed with God’s love during a baptism. The first attendance to such an event, as it was for Penny, was always special. Almost as special as this day was for Rebecca. She prayed again for peace for McKenna and Penny. Then, seeing Paul across the room, his gaze fixed on McKenna, Rebecca prayed for her brother and McKenna too.
Gavin was standing next to Paul and had the same serious expression McKenna did. His eyes never left Penny.
But despite Rebecca’s baptism and the love she felt swelling in her heart, there was still something she had to take care of. She waited until after the meal was served before she found McKenna and asked to talk to her privately. McKenna followed her out of the barn until they were a few feet into the front yard of the Petersheims’ house.
“Thank you and your family again for letting me and Penny stay in your extra house.” She touched Rebecca’s arm. “I will get a full-time job and pay back any rent, or whatever arrangement your parents are willing to work out until we get on our feet.”
Rebecca tried to smile but failed and instead blinked back tears. “I’ve held ill will against you, and I want to say I’m sorry.”
McKenna pulled her jacket snug, glanced at the ground, then back at Rebecca. “I know this is about the hug and kiss, but I promise you, nothing happened, and it never would have.”
Rebecca nodded. “I know that now, but at the time, I let jealousy latch onto me, and I laid misplaced blame on you. I want you to know I’m sorry.” She lowered her eyes. “And I’m ashamed.”
McKenna touched Rebecca’s arm and spoke softly. “Please don’t apologize. Any ill will you felt toward me was understandable. But don’t let shame bring you down. It can be like a weight around your neck. I’ve always been ashamed of my mother’s behavior, even though I love her very much. I struggle with shame, too, and it’s a horrible emotion brought forth by the enemy.”
“I guess . . . I guess I just need you to forgive me.”
McKenna smiled. “There’s nothing to forgive, Becky.”
Rebecca huffed, grinning. “There is one other thing.”
McKenna’s eyebrows drew in as she brought a hand to her chest. “What is it?”
“Can you please call me Rebecca? I’m not sure if Paul calls me Becky just to irritate me because that’s what big brothers do, or if he really can’t shrug the habit because he’s called me Becky since we were kids.”
McKenna laughed. “I can do that, Rebecca.” Then she pulled Rebecca into a hug, and without a moment’s hesitation, Rebecca returned the embrace.
Paul was glad to see McKenna and Rebecca hugging. He needed the two women he loved to have a good relationship. Across the yard he saw that Noah had slipped out of the barn at some point, the way Paul had. Noah was also watching the women talk and embrace, so Paul walked toward him and put a hand on his back.
“Everyone is going to be okay,” Paul said. “And congratulations on your baptism.”
Noah nodded. “Danki.” Then he refocused on the women, who were still chatting, before he turned back to Paul. “I am sure about my decision to be baptized into our faith, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want desperately to marry Rebecca.” He hung his head, sighing. “If she’ll still have me.”
Paul chuckled, which caused Noah to raise his head and lift an eyebrow.
“You’re still getting married next month, even if Rebecca hasn’t formally said so.” Still grinning he said, “She has this list of everything that needs to be done before the wedding. She’s been driving everyone crazy. So I think it’s safe to say that the wedding is back on.”
Noah smiled. “I hope so. What about you and McKenna?”
“It’s too soon to know for sure, but I feel good about the future.” Paul had already spoken privately to his parents and confessed that he wasn’t going to be baptized into the Amish faith. He’d waited for his mother to blow up and blame McKenna, but instead she offered him a weak smile and said they had suspected his hesitation for a long time. She admitted to hoping Paul would change his mind but assured him she didn’t blame McKenna. And Paul was glad about that because he could see McKenna and him together in the future.
After the women cleared the dishes following the meal, Noah found Rebecca. Folks were already getting in their buggies to head home, especially the families with young children. It was always a long and wonderful day of worship, but the little ones were tired after a three-hour church service and the meal.
“It was a gut day.” Noah gazed into Rebecca’s eyes, hoping she could feel how much he loved her. He’d said he was sorry dozens of times, but today he wanted to focus on the celebration of baptism. He continued praying that Rebecca would still become his wife, though. He hoped Paul was right, that plans were moving in that direction.
“It was a gut day.” She smiled in the same manner she had before Noah had almost ruined things. He tried to keep his mind on the blessing of baptism, but it was hard not to drop to his knees and beg Rebecca to commit to him for a lifetime.
The short conversation ended when Gavin and Penny walked up to them. Gavin shook Noah’s hand. “Thank you for having us at your baptisms. It was a wonderful experience.”
Penny was looking at the ground, sniffling. Noah had seen her crying throughout most of the ceremony and even occasionally during the meal. The majority of the service was in Pennsylvania Deutsch, but the few Englisch visitors who attended Amish services were always deeply affected. Noah thought maybe for some it was their first time to feel the Holy Spirit and the oneness with God.
“What did you think, Penny?” Noah tried to read her expression, but he could barely see her face until she lifted her head and looked into his eyes.
“Do you think it would be possible for us to come back?” Penny’s voice seemed almost desperate, pleading.
Noah couldn’t recall the bishop allowing Englischers to attend regularly, but these were odd circumstances with Penny and McKenna both trying to start out on their own, away from parents who had negatively influenced them. “I will talk to the bishop,” he said.
Penny hugged him. “Danki,” she whispered.
Most outsiders knew a little bit of Pennsylvania Deutsch, and he appreciated the fact that Penny spoke a word in their dialect. But he eased out of the hug fairly quickly as he recalled the trouble of his last hug in the arms of another woman. Thankfully, when he looked at Rebecca, she was smiling the same smile, and glowing.
“We’re going to go, but God’s blessings to both of you.” Gavin hugged Rebecca before they left.
After they were out of earshot, Noah shook his head. “They are a hugging bunch of people.”
Rebecca laughed, which was nice to hear. “Ya, they are.” She paused. “And I think that’s gut. Maybe our people should do more hugging.”
“Do you think Penny will be okay?” Noah glanced around, and when he confirmed that no one was watching, he reached for Rebecca’s hand.
“Ya, I do,” she said. “And I think McKenna will be all right too. They are both strong women.”
Rebecca’s eyes drifted somewhere over Noah’s shoulders, and when he turned around, he saw McKenna and Paul talking. “What about them? Do you think they will be all right too?”
Rebecca kept her gaze on her brother and McKenna. “Ya, I do. Maybe not in the way I always thought, but this is Paul’s journey, and he has to follow his heart and God’s guidance.”
Noah was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check as he swallowed back a lump in his throat, still fighting the urge to ask Rebecca if they were going to be married for sure.
“I see lots of new beginnings in the works for all of us.” She smiled as she squeezed his hand. “Now let’s get down to business.” She reached into the pocket of her black apron and pulled out a piece of paper. Grinning, she said, “There’s this list I need to talk to you about. There are several items you need to take care of.”
Noah smiled as he silently thanked God for the day’s many blessings.