Feeling the
Energetic Handshake
When you learn the native language of your own distinct energy field,
you become able to read it, hear it and converse with it.
One of the trickiest things in cultivating new sensibilities
about your own and other people’s energies is that they often
don’t show up in the ways you expect them.
—donna eden and david feinstein, energy medicine
Handshakes are one of the most common forms of greeting another person. More often than not, it is the way we are introduced or introduce ourselves to others, and is our first line of communication with someone new. It is also a great way to acquaint ourselves with the other person’s energy. When we touch someone, it’s like we have an express connection to their metaphysical power, their own energy, and we have the ability to discover what motivates them. We can tap into their spirit and essentially get a quick snapshot of who they are, the kind of person they are, and even whether we can trust them. It is a powerful and rapid way to allow our intuition to guide us, and, yes, tell us whether we like the person or not.
This chapter shares the nine basic types of people you’ll be shaking hands with. Of course, there are always outliers or those who defy categorization. Those are usually a combination of types. Gathering data from the people you shake hands with is an invaluable tool in life and, more specifically, business. Deciphering their energy, upon first introduction, gives your intuitive support system the opportunity to facilitate the meeting. By learning to read the energy, you are accelerating your knowledge of the type of person you are dealing with, which gives you an upper hand. There is so much you can learn from this common greeting that from now on you should be sure to shake the hand of everyone you meet—that is, if you’re smart and want to gain as much insight as you can.
Interestingly enough, you can gain information from a hug or even a fist bump, but it won’t be the same. The reason is because with a handshake, the two people are generally saying, “Hey, I’m here. This is me,” and they are extending their energy intentionally. With a hug, it’s more of a comforting thing, and it changes the energy you are receiving. You can gather knowledge from any type of touch, but to really pick up what they are putting out, the handshake will be the best form. And, most often you won’t be hugging in business, but you will be shaking hands.
Your gut instinct, or your clairsentience, is the first line of communication with the handshaker’s energy. You can pick up on their vibe by checking in with how your body feels and how they make you feel. Just like when you worked with your clairs in CHAPTER 2, you can use those same methods to perceive the energy of the people you are dealing with. Again, you’ll gain an advantage by understanding who you are dealing with before you put a lot of effort into the professional or personal relationship.
The Handshakers
Basically, there are nine types of people in this world when it comes to the handshake. You’ve probably met at least a couple of these people on your journey through life and possibly even experienced combinations of them. They may conjure up images in your mind of real people, or they may make you see a stereotypical version in your imagination when you read about them below—this is wonderful! Allow that to happen, as this is your mind’s eye, your intuitive senses, explaining who they are to you.
The Eager Beaver
This is the one who is so eager to please, so excited to be able to do whatever you want or need, that they can’t contain themselves. You can feel their energy pulsing through your hand as they pump your arm up and down. They continue in this vein until you actually make them stop. This person easily and simply exposes themselves to you—they are there to help you and will be enthusiastic the whole time. Unfortunately, for some, this can get annoying very quickly if it continues. However, it can be an ego boost, at least temporarily, when someone essentially worships you and is so incredibly grateful that you are giving them the opportunity to be in your presence and do something they really want to do. The feeling of their energy reminds me of a happy puppy! Can you see that? Or feel it?
The Confident One
This person wants you to know they’ve got it together, but not in a bad way. It’s like they exude their confidence through that handshake. You can feel how comfortable they are. They pretty much know who they are, and they’re okay with it, at least in this particular situation. Their self-assured energy comes through and makes you feel comfortable. These people want to succeed and know that they can. Imagine shaking that person’s hand and seeing them—the way they casually wear their clothes perfectly, not a hair out of place—smiling at you, knowing everything will turn out well. They are well aware of how others should and do respect them for all their current and future accomplishments. You can feel how put together they are, especially if you’re not!
The Smarmy One
We have all dealt with this one. You know who I’m talking about, the one with the wimpy handshake. I’m not talking about someone who is trying to be respectful and not squeeze too hard—no. I mean the wet noodle handshake, the person who’s throwing off a creepy vibe. This is the person who makes you uncomfortable in the worst way, who you can feel is instantly looking you up and down, sizing you up. This person makes you feel like they are putting their napkin in their collar, getting ready to feast on your energy. You almost instantly distrust them, even if you’ve never met them or heard of them. You can just feel their smarminess oozing out of their pores, and you just don’t like them.
The Respectful One
This is the person who is deferential, the one who lets you know, with their handshake, that they respect who you are. They know you are worthy of admiration and are almost reverent in the way they look at you. They are not, however, disingenuous. They are real and courteous. They might even go beyond being polite and can come across as almost submissive. These are the people who are ready to help and will do what you need, because they value your intelligence and your standing. You know who I’m talking about. This person, you just know, will stand by you because they have been taught that there is a hierarchy and they accept that. Not that they will give up their own personality or life for yours, but they believe they need to follow your directive without talking behind your back.
The Oh So Cocky Person
Oh, this one. This person is annoying as hell. This is one you can clearly feel thinks they know it all. They totally believe they know better than anyone else, and they are going to prove it to you, even if they can’t. They want to show you just how great they are. This individual wants you to know that they can do anything and they are the best one for the job. They will interrupt anyone to prove a point and they will fight about being right by being loud and even obnoxious. You all know this person. Heck, you may even be this person. But this goes beyond confidence: this is pure ego, and you can feel it in their handshake when they try to make you feel less than or smaller than them in every way. You might even feel belittled, merely by the energy they send through to you. They have total indifference for the wisdom you may have, regardless of whether they believe you know what you are doing or not. This person believes they are all that, even when they aren’t.
The Unasked for Sexual One
This person is the reason for the Me Too movement. They are sexual and might even rub you with their fingers in an overtly sexual way. They make you feel like a piece of meat simply by the way they hold your hand and leer at you. They are pervasive instantly and leave you feeling dirty even from just a brief handshake. On a lighter note, this person may try to win you over by being flirty, but all that does is make you uncomfortable. They have a blatant disregard for boundaries and consider their suggestive tone to be flattering to you. This person considers besting you in business to be similar to a sexual conquest and wants to win. They think they are doing you a favor by slyly seducing you with their charms.
The Caring One
This person’s handshake exudes kindness. It is a compassionate feeling that extends all the way through your arm up to your heart. They are a sensitive person and an empathetic person who you instantly feel comfortable with. They want to help you. They want you to be okay and are concerned with making you feel appreciated. They want to help you reach your goals in an interested way and will nurture your ideas as their own. They will tend to your needs and your wishes because they want you to succeed. They like everything to be nice for you and you can feel their positive energy as they send it through their handshake. The only problem with them is their caring can feel suffocating if it’s not balanced. After all, there’s a time and place for nurturing.
The Friendly One
So friendly. Warm and inviting. You find yourself instantly wanting to share your entire life story with them. They are welcoming and make you feel comfortable right off the bat. They make you feel like they will help you with whatever you need. They will assist you in any way they can in order to make your life easier. It’s almost like shaking the hand of someone you already know. It feels like you suddenly have a telepathic connection to them. This is someone you want on your side; they will work hard for you and will connect well with your clients. They make people feel relaxed and happy, and you for sure need that.
The Nervous One
Their energy is infectious, but not in a good way. You feel a buzz coming from their hand, and it evokes feelings of being trapped. This is not necessarily someone you want shaking the hands of your customers because they transmit panic. They might very well be fine after they get to know you, but it’s as though they are hiding something and are afraid you’ll know what it is from the mere touch of your hands. They might be moist (yes, I said that) to the touch, and you can imagine seeing the glistening sweat dripping from their brow. Just thinking of this person makes you feel a bit jumpy and unsure of yourself and what they, and you, can bring to the table. This is not someone who brings to mind the confidence you need.
Intuitive Insight for Whether or Not to Trust
What do you do with all the stuff you discovered when you shook hands? How does all that energy—which, by the way, can be a little overwhelming if you don’t protect yourself (see CHAPTER 1)—affect you and how you do business? Well, first, you learn if you can trust them.
Trust can be a scary thing in the business world. There are many who will attempt to manipulate you in order to control the situation. These two simple words, Trust me, denote a question in your mind as to whether the person who said them is being truthful. Think about when you’ve heard someone ask you to trust them. Immediately, it brings up a strong desire to know what the heck is going on. Honesty is a very expensive gift, and there are many people who aren’t interested in giving you all that much when they are trying to get ahead. Being able to read the energy of the person you’re with makes it much easier to discern whether they are full of it or being genuine.
Think back to the handshakes. Out of the nine types, which ones would you think you’d automatically trust or not trust? The more you’re able to read from the initial meeting of energy with the other person, the easier it is to discover how trustworthy they actually are and whether you want them in your corner or not. Worst-case scenario, you have to discern if they would stab you in the back or have your back. Interpreting what type of person they are, at least primarily, impresses upon you whether you can rely on them and believe in them.
Intuitive Insight for Realizing Worth
Beyond trusting that someone is being honest with you, how do you determine they are actually worthy of your energy? Is the business deal worthy of your time? Is the project you’re being pitched worthy of your consideration? When you rely totally on the regular process, you are counting on research and analytics to make your decisions. When you instead allow yourself to tune in to your intuition, you acknowledge that this nontraditional process will grant you access to a different method you can use to ascertain whether this is, indeed, worthy of your energy at all or would be a waste. It’s time for you to step out on the limb and listen to your what your vibes are telling you!
On the other end of the spectrum, do you know your worth? You damn well better! Knowing your worth is just as important, if not more important, than judging another’s worthiness. You need to believe in your value, in what you have to offer to someone else. Working with others is not merely transactional in one specific instance—it is long term. When you realize your worth, your energy shifts, which in turn attracts new people, and what do you know?! You’ve declared, through your energy, that you deserve more.
The handshake connects you to the other person physically and energetically. As you’ve discovered already, it can tell you what type of person they are in mere seconds. It can also help you decipher their traits as they relate to what you need from them. So take it further by examining some simple questions.
Try This!
Gaining More Insight from the Greeting
Using this method to go deeper into your intuition becomes easier the more you do it, and it can be used to discover whether to trust the person as well as determining their worthiness. Though you only have a moment initially to take in the essence of someone you are meeting, you can continue tuning in to their energy by immediately asking any relevant questions in your mind. In addition, when you ask the questions, you are stimulating your intuition, which can make opening your awareness to the impressions you receive simpler. Take a look at these questions and use them as an easy guide to start tapping into your responses metaphysically now and in the future.
- What do you feel about the energy of the other person?
- Can you tell what type of person you are shaking hands with?
- What images do you see in your mind’s eye?
- What sounds, names, songs, and so on do you hear?
- What do you know about the person?
- Can you trust them?
- Are they good for you?
- Do they have your back?
- Does it feel natural for you to want to tell them about yourself?
- Do you like them?
- Are they worthy of your friendship?
- Do they deserve to be hired?
- Is the person a hard worker?
- Do they have what you want?
- Can they accomplish what you need them to do?
- Are they worthy of your time?
This is not a complete list, but you get the basic gist. What we are doing here is learning to discern what you can pick up from the person you are meeting. There’s no secret to how this works. However, the key really is learning how to get the best data the quickest. The questions you focus on can be more specific to why you are meeting the new person. For example, if you are being introduced to someone who is pitching a new product to you, you might want to focus on seeing the product (or something representing the product) on the shelf in your mind’s eye. Does it look bright and exciting and shiny? Or does it look like it’s gathered so much dust you’d suffer an asthma attack if you got anywhere near it? These two images can give you a pretty clear picture whether the proposed product is a good one or not.
Essentially, ask the questions that fit the situation, and then pay attention. What vibes are you picking up about the person or people you are meeting? Start with the simplest of simple: Do you like their energy? Take it from there. If you receive answers that turn you off, go deeper. Ask the universe why they give off that vibe. It may surprise you with a response you don’t expect, which can also sway your opinion on what you are getting. You’ll find you’ll become more proficient with each handshake.
Reading Energy for Desire and Motivation
Reading someone’s energy can help you understand what drives them. We can tell pretty quickly if they are profit-centered or if there is more to it. Is it about just making a quick buck to put in their own pocket? Because screw that. You want to be successful and want it to last. If you could feel what they want and why and you know it’s not just that they are trying to make enough money to pay their rent that month, that will change how you feel about the situation. Do your desires match up with theirs? Does what they want for their company coincide with what you want for yours?
This is a great time to leverage your intuition. Use it to discern what is driving the person you are dealing with. Let your intuition help you figure out what makes them tick. Like reading the energetic handshake, this is a perfect opportunity to take your vibes to the next level. Be thankful you are able to tune in to them by using your rapidly developing instincts. Asking the questions internally and waiting for an answer using your senses can be your first clue to what motivates them and if their needs are in alignment with yours.
Try This!
Learning How to Discern Yes or No
Let’s practice by discerning simple answers. Start by feeling if you are drawn in one direction or the other for the following questions. Using a yes/no scale can help you tune in to your clairsentience. For instance, see a horizontal line in your mind’s eye with the word yes to the left of the line and the word no to the right. How do you know if they cross the center of the line and move toward either the yes or no? Ask a question such as “Are they motivated by money alone?” and then feel where your energy is drawn to on the line. You can also see with your clairvoyance where you are on the line. Chances are you won’t be leaning all the way in either direction, but you may feel a slight tug going one way or the other. Once you are able to finalize where your answer is to the initial question, you can keep at it and find out other things about the person or people.
You can also use your ESP to ascertain their driving force for other reasons. Let’s say your boss is telling you to do something, but you’re not quite sure what they are looking for. When you tap into their energy, you can feel what motivates them and why they are asking for you to do what they need you to do. Are they asking you for something because they genuinely need it? If you are afraid they are deliberately trying to hold you back from success or are being vindictive or jealous in some way, wouldn’t it be great if you were able to intuit the truth behind their motivation?
Knowing what they want from you and why can help you accomplish your task in a more complete and fulfilling way. Not only that, but how cool would it be to recognize where they are coming from? That would definitely score you some brownie points and help propel your career by showing them how incredibly shrewd you can be.
It’s Not Always about Business
Whether it’s a business deal or a personal relationship, sometimes you must be ready to say to hell with it—be detached from the outcome. Be willing to understand that the job you are hoping for or the deal you are trying to close may not be the best thing for you. It might be that you don’t get it because it would knock you off your path or because there is something better on its way. Be open to the idea that there may be something superior coming.
When you are fighting so hard for something because you deem, intellectually, that it is the best thing for you, it can wreak havoc with your intuition. You think it’s what you need financially, and possibly to elevate your status in the business world, but while you’re trying so hard to make it happen, you are drowning out your intuition telling you there may be something wrong with the deal you are trying to make or the contract you are trying to win or the job you are trying to get.
Getting out of your own way can allow for your metaphysical senses to bloom instead. Of course you’re enthusiastic about the possibility of something great happening, but if you are so focused on what you think should happen, it makes it really difficult to go with the flow—and by flow I mean allowing your vibes to guide you without trouble. When you’re so sure that something should have a positive outcome, it’s challenging to be thankful for a negative result, but that’s exactly what you need to be able to do.
Relationships are everywhere, and there are many types—business, partnership, professional, school, parental, sibling, and even love. We’ve pretty much all experienced breakups in some way, be they romantic or otherwise. I know I have! And most often those breakups are not easy to get over, especially the intimate type. They leave us with a really bad taste in our mouth and can make us feel like we screwed something up. It can also leave us feeling empty or alone and maybe, more often, can make us angry and pissed off. We either dumped them because they did something awful and they totally disrespected us, or they left us because, yup, they were just plain jerks. Either way, it can cause us a lot of grief. But all our relationships serve a purpose, and business partnerships can often feel as intimate as romantic ones.
I have a client who tried so hard, but she couldn’t see past her current broken partnership to the possibility there may be something better. After the third connection imploded, she was grasping at straws, trying to hold on to her relationship because even though she knew each new partner had been better than the last, she believed this was it and there was no way she was going to get so lucky again. I told her to tune in to her intuition because I had already tuned in to mine and had seen the next connection would be the best connection. But I didn’t tell her that. I wrote it down instead, along with the description of who it would be, and gave it to her to hold on to until she was ready to open it. Rather, I had her write a list of what she wanted in a new partnership.
So what did she do? She decided to try to listen to my advice. I mean, after all, she had come to me for a few readings and trusted everything I had told her so far. She was able to let go and move on without focusing on what was to come, believing now that directing her energy on herself was best. Within months, she met the partner of her dreams, the one she wanted to manifest. And when she opened the envelope I had given her, she realized it was the person I had tuned in to and that by trusting her own intuition, she had created the opportunity and space for a much better relationship. She stopped being fearful and let go of needing to know the outcome, and that, my friends, is an incredible intuitive victory.
There are so many ways to pick up on the energy of someone. As you can see, it can be done for a variety of reasons. It can all start with a simple handshake. From there, determining what’s going on with the people you’re dealing with is an easy transfer. Now, while I’m saying you can read their energy, I’m not saying that you’ll always be right, meaning if you intuit something negative coming off them, you might have to look a bit deeper. It might just be that they are coming to you to try to make a great deal, but you are tuning in to the fact they are broke and desperate to make it work. So pay attention. If you feel something you don’t like, ask the universe to give you some more information about the “why” before you walk away from something that could be mutually beneficial.
You are tapping into their energy—gaining what information you can from that connection. But you can also manipulate your own energy. You can choose to expand or even retract your energy based on the situation or what you are trying to accomplish. You might find you become even more motivated to succeed as you learn that employing practices such as meditation to help you control your energy and your aura can bring you to the next level of where you want to be.