Jane crossed one leg over the other and shifted in her chair, hoping to stop her hands from shaking as her attorney skimmed through the thick stack of files spread on his desk. Her palms were sweaty and she was breathing too hard, but she couldn’t help it. Her pulse was pounding in her ears. She couldn’t take the suspense much longer, even though every new bit of information from her lawyer only filled her with anger and fear.
“It appears that Adam plans to move to Colorado right after the first of the year.”
Jane nodded abruptly. That was just over two months away. In two months, her entire world could be ripped out from under her. Again.
“Can the courts really make a decision that quickly?”
“Oh, certainly,” Rob replied. He glanced down at his notes again and sighed. “They’re asking for a court date of December first. We’ll see if the judge agrees.”
“Right after Thanksgiving,” Jane murmured, feeling her frown deepen. It was Adam’s year to have Sophie that day. She’d gone along with it, thinking that she couldn’t bear to have a Christmas without her child so soon after the divorce. But now, she stood to lose so much more than holidays.
“I know this is scary, but he’s going to have a hard time proving that Sophie is better off going with him than staying where she is. She has an established routine here, a support system, and judges don’t like to uproot children from their homes.”
Jane tried to take solace in this but struggled. “What about my income?”
“The courts can’t expect you to suddenly earn what Adam does. You were the stay-at-home parent for nearly five years. They understand.”
“But you said he’s citing his financial stability.”
“The courts do take that into consideration, just as they did the first time around. The guardian ad litem will be visiting both you and Adam and meeting with Sophie to determine what is in her best interest.”
“It’s obviously in Sophie’s best interest to leave things as they are. Briar Creek is her home. Her family and friends are here. Her aunts, all her grandparents. I’ve been with her every day since she was born. She has her routine, her school. Her bedroom with her things.” Her voice was growing shrill and panicked just thinking of all the things Sophie stood to lose. All the things Adam wanted to take from her.
“And this is why it’s best for you to focus on that. Continue giving her the life she has always known. If she goes to ballet class, take her to ballet. If she has dinner with her grandmother once a week, make sure to keep that up. For a child as young as Sophie, courts frown on big changes.”
“What about the family situation?” Jane asked, balling a fist in her lap. “Will it hold any weight that Adam and Kristy are getting married and that Sophie will have a sibling next summer?”
“It will certainly be taken into consideration, I can’t deny that.”
That was all she needed to hear to feel the familiar burst of panic shoot through her. She sat shaking, legs crossed and hands clamped, every nerve in her body on high alert. Adam had a good job, a new family in the works, and she was just a single mom with nothing to fall back on.
Even if she asked her mother for money, it wouldn’t reflect a stable lifestyle, not the way Adam did. Besides, Kathleen worked for herself, decorating homes on a referral basis. She was hardly in a position to share what had been left to her by Jane’s father.
She’d just have to sit tight. Go about her day and hope to God it was enough.
“When will the guardian ad litem be visiting?” She dreaded the meeting now as she did last winter, when she’d watched through the window, waiting for the car to pull up and her life to be judged.
“Soon, assuming the courts agree to the hearing date.”
Jane nodded and stood. Her neck and shoulders were cramped with tension, but she couldn’t relax. The meeting was over, and a strange sense of longing came over her. She didn’t know what she’d expected to come from it, but somehow she’d hoped for closure, for finality, for something more than this endless limbo and fear. She was exhausted. Every bone in her body ached, and her head was pounding from lack of sleep. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her house, crawl into bed, and never get out of it. But she couldn’t. She had two classes this afternoon, and for that, she should be grateful.
“Just keep doing what you’re doing, Jane. Live your life. Love your daughter. You’re doing the best you can. Leave the rest to me. That’s what you’re paying me for.”
Right. That’s where all the money she should be spending on Sophie was going—to the lawyer she was forced to hire thanks to stupid Adam.
Tears blurred her vision as she made her way out into the lobby. She managed a watery smile as she passed the receptionist, and somehow made it to her car. Adam was selfish. Always had been. He did what he wanted without any consideration for the casualties. Even his own daughter.
He may be fighting for custody of Sophie, but she was fighting for her daughter’s well-being. She had to focus on that.
Despite the attorney’s encouraging words, Jane’s heart was still heavy by the time she rounded the bend into Briar Creek. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard, deciding she could go home, and no doubt sit by herself and let her mind run wild with disastrous possibilities, or she could visit her mother or one of her sisters. She decided to stop by the bookstore. It wasn’t often she had a chance to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee, and she needed an energy boost if she was going to get through her four o’clock class.
Grace was ringing up a tall stack of books and a large coffee to go when Jane entered the shop a few minutes later. Her older sister smiled on instinct, but then jerked in surprise when she swept her eyes on Jane’s attire. Darn it. She should have thought to change first. Black dress pants called for suspicion. As did the matching V-neck sweater. It was a far cry from her usual attire, and Grace knew it, too.
“Look at you!” she cried as Jane grew nearer. “What have you been up to today dressed like that?”
Jane shrugged. “I thought I’d mix things up, dig some old stuff out of the back of my closet…”
Grace arched a brow, and Jane stifled a sigh. She wasn’t buying it, and why would she? Jane was stuck in a rut. Even when she’d stopped into a few boutiques on Main Street and treated herself to some new clothes, she knew in her heart she had it all wrong. Those peasant tops, she later learned, weren’t meant to be tucked in. She’d only discovered that when, showing up at Anna’s, grinning and feeling confident, her sister’s eyes had widened, her mouth pinched, and her hands quickly unstuffed the soft cotton material from Jane’s waistband. And those jeans she had thought were at the pinnacle of current fashion were, it now seemed, the fashion for the fifty and over crowd, as was the entire shop, which had looked so cute from the window. Apparently back pocket design was important. As was the color of the denim itself. And nothing was supposed to taper, unless it fell under the category of skinny jeans, which just… confused her. Did they really succeed in making you look skinny, or just the opposite?
She knew Grace, having lived in New York for so many years, tolerated all this under a thin veil of impatience, and she would like nothing more than to make Jane over. But Jane liked her yoga pants. And she liked her routine. Wasn’t enough being shaken up already?
“My, my, Jane, if I didn’t know better, I might think you were making a deliberate effort.” Grace’s smile was sly. “Are you meeting someone special?”
Jane barked out a laugh, but her face flushed with heat when she considered how close to the mark Grace really was. There was someone special in her life, or there had been. Sort of. When she wasn’t consumed with worry about the custody battle, she let her mind wander back to that night with Henry, to the feeling of his lips on hers, the way his skin was warm and smelled of spice.
It had felt good. Better than that: It had felt right. But it wasn’t right.
She bit down on her lip, trying not to frown. She hadn’t seen Henry since Saturday, when he’d abruptly left, barely even saying goodbye, much less explaining himself. Clearly he was regretting the kiss, just like she should be.
She brought a finger to her lips and just as quickly snatched it away. So he was a good kisser. Lots of men probably were. Men who weren’t connected to her ex-husband. Men who weren’t just passing through town.
“I had a meeting about Sophie,” she explained, hoping to keep things vague and get off the topic of her love life, or lack thereof. Catching the flash of concern that sparked in her sister’s eyes, she quickly added, “School stuff. No big deal.”
No big deal at all. Just my louse of an ex trying to take my child halfway across the country. Nothing she couldn’t handle on her own.
Grace filled a mug with coffee and handed it to her. “I’m glad that’s all it was. For a minute there, I was worried. Are you sure everything’s okay, Jane? I get the feeling something’s bothering you.”
Jane took her time adding cream and sugar to her coffee at the antique console next to the counter. If she met Grace’s eyes, there was a strong chance she wouldn’t be able to compose herself any longer, and she couldn’t fall apart now. Not in the middle of Main Street Books, for gossip to stir and circle back. Not when Grace kept absentmindedly glancing down at her engagement ring like that.
“I’m just tired is all.” She forced a smile. “The coffee helps. I think I’ll take a chair over near the window, if you’d care to join me.”
The door jangled and Grace let out a heavy sigh. “Keep a spot open for me. I could use a break myself.”
Jane moved to the small round table near the window, the very same one Henry had occupied on his visits here. She smiled softly, pushing back the pull in her chest when she thought of the way he’d looked, sitting here, bent over his laptop in concentration, and unbuttoned her coat. Her back was to the room as she positioned it on the back of her chair and slid into her seat, but as she lifted the mug of steaming, rich coffee to her lips, she jolted in surprise. Adam’s mother was standing right beside her; she hadn’t even seen her come in. The coffee splattered on the table and she frantically began swiping it with the lone napkin she had thought to grab. She fumbled in her handbag, looking for the packet of tissue, and began sopping up the mess.
Patty Brown’s hands appeared next to hers, clutching a thick pile of napkins. Jane felt her breath catch as her ex-mother-in-law wiped up the last of the spilled mess, wishing, for once, she didn’t have to be kind. It would be so much easier if Adam’s family were as terrible as him. If Patty could have stayed away, the way she’d done since last December, when their separation was announced.
“Thanks,” she said a little breathlessly. She took her seat again, her smile frozen on her face.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Patty said gently. She hesitated for a moment. “Can I get you another coffee?”
Jane dismissed the offer with a wave of her hand. “It’s fine. Grace is joining me soon. She’ll bring me a new cup.” She glanced over her shoulder at her sister, who stood with hands on hips, eyes stern, mouth thin, and felt a little better.
“Perhaps I could sit with you until then,” Patty hedged.
Jane looked up in alarm, but the weariness in the woman’s eyes halted the excuse on her lips before it had time to fully form. She nodded. “Okay.”
Patty seemed nervous as she pulled out the chair and slipped into it. She didn’t remove her coat, and she clutched her handbag in front of her with both hands. “This shop has never looked better,” she mused, glancing around. “I’d heard about the changes you and your sisters had made. I… didn’t want to overstep and come in before.”
“I’m surprised to see you,” Jane admitted.
“I saw you through the window, and… well, I feel bad, Jane. I wanted to reach out to you many times over the past several months, but I didn’t know how. I… didn’t want to make things worse.” She tensed. “I don’t think Adam would be happy to know I was here, but I thought, if we just bumped into each other…”
Jane shared a smile with her. “Literally,” she joked, hoping to lighten the mood. It was what she did best. She made difficult situations easier for everyone around her. But what about herself? Who was looking out for her?
Grace, she thought, glancing to her left again. And, maybe… Henry.
“I’m sure you know about everything that’s going on,” she said.
Patty closed her eyes. “As a mother myself, I can’t even imagine. It’s not easy for Roger or me either. We love having Sophie close by.”
Jane didn’t like the way she was talking, as if Adam would win, and Sophie would move to Denver. She clung to the lawyer’s words, feeling her conviction grow, and took a sip of what remained of her coffee. “Nothing has been determined yet.”
“I know I shouldn’t get involved, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you all these months, especially these past few weeks. I figured you might think I didn’t like you anymore or that I was mad at you, and I wanted to make sure you knew that wasn’t true. You were like the daughter I never had. You might not officially be a part of our family anymore, but that doesn’t erase the time we had together. Or our connection through Sophie.”
Jane swallowed the knot that had wedged in her throat. “Thank you. That means a lot.” And it did, for some reason. It would have been so natural for Patty to side with Adam, to take a firm stance.
Maybe everything wasn’t as black-and-white as Jane thought. Maybe things were a lot more muddled. Like Henry.
“Sometimes I think back on the days when you and Henry and Adam would sit around my kitchen. I loved the sounds of your laughter. The house feels so quiet now.” Patty smiled sadly. “Henry came to dinner last night,” she offered, brightening. “It was almost like old times.”
Jane blinked, and waited for her heartbeat to resume at normal speed before she spoke again. “How nice. Yes, I know he’s back in town.”
Grace came to the table and set a proprietary hand on the back of Jane’s chair. “Is everything okay here?”
Patty smiled kindly at her. “Grace, it’s good to see you. The store looks lovely. You’ve done a wonderful job with it.”
Grace’s expression was tight. “Thank you.” She stared at the other woman, and Jane shifted in her chair.
“Well, I should go,” Patty said. “It was good seeing you, Jane. I… wish you well, regardless of how everything turns out.”
Jane’s pulse flickered as Grace turned to her quizzically. “What does that mean?”
“Grace.” But her sister wasn’t listening, and from the glint of determination in her eye, it looked like she wasn’t going to let this drop.
“What do you mean?” she asked Patty.
“Grace, I know you’re probably mad at me, and you have every reason to be. You’re sticking by your family the same way I have. That’s what makes all this so difficult.” She glanced at Jane desperately. “I don’t wish this on you, Jane. I’m sorry. I truly am.”
She glanced from one sister to the other, ducked her chin, and hurried from the store. Jane closed her eyes, feeling the dread sink in, sensing Grace’s eyes on her the entire time.
“Jane? Do you have something to tell me?”
She should say no, she should make an excuse, smile brightly, follow Patty’s lead, and flee the scene. But she couldn’t fight it anymore. “Adam’s moving to Denver,” she said flatly.
Grace jutted her bottom lip, digesting information. “Oh. Well, I’d think you’d be glad.”
“He wants Sophie to come with him.”
Grace’s gasp was audible. “But you’re her mother! He can’t do that! Can he?”
“That’s for the judge to decide,” Jane said miserably.
“Oh my God, Jane. Oh my…” Grace shook her head and reached over, squeezing both of Jane’s hands in her own. “How long have you known?”
“A couple weeks,” Jane admitted.
“And you didn’t tell me.” Grace’s eyes crinkled with sadness.
“I didn’t tell anyone.” Well, except Henry, but he already knew from Adam. Her stomach stirred at the thought.
“When are you going to learn that you have to let people in?” Grace reprimanded.
“You’re getting married!” Jane cried. “This is a special time! You’re my sister—”
“And you’re mine,” Grace said sternly. “All your life you’ve been taking care of everyone else. Sometimes it’s okay to let people take care of you.”
Jane nodded, thinking back on the kindness Henry had shown her with his suggestions for the dance studio, the way Sophie lit up when he gave her attention.
She could do this on her own, but Grace was right. Sometimes it felt good to let someone take care of her for a change.