Being a boss has not come easily to me. I’m a people-pleaser. I’m generous to a fault. I don’t handle stress particularly well. I’m an excellent administrator, but managing people? Reprimanding them when things have gone wrong? Dealing with human error that has cost me money? Trying to be firm and fair without smiling and apologizing? I struggle with all these things.
I constantly remind myself to avoid emojis in business emails, saying “sorry” unnecessarily, and overeager exclamation points to prove my enthusiasm. I don’t need any of these qualifiers. I’m a businesswoman! (I say this as I sit in my sweatpants with my cats underneath my desk. But I’ll say it again: I AM A BUSINESSWOMAN.)
I still don’t like certain aspects of the job. Telling people that I’m not going to continue working with them gives me anxiety dreams. I hate having to deal directly with corporations and companies that don’t understand what I do, asking them to pay me more than they’re willing. I’m constantly frustrated by numbers that I have no control over, on a platform that shifts its algorithm on a whim. But I know I have to deal with all these things because I’ve come to accept that I’m going to be a boss for a long time. The following chapters tell you what I’ve learned.