By the time we agreed to meet at my house and Sparky and I left the library, the fluffy clouds had turned gray.
A storm was coming.
“Great,” I said to Sparky. “A haunted house in a storm. I don’t know how this will end, but I hope it’s not scary!”
I got the shivers just thinking about it. But as Kelly just said, a Goofball is a Goofball.
“Ghost or no ghost, Sparky, we have a brand-new case!”
“Goof! Goof!” he barked, bouncing home on his hind legs.
Mom didn’t bounce so much when I told her. “You’re going where? To find what? When?”
“A haunted house. A ghost. Tonight, on Halloween,” I said.
Mom gave me a look. “Um … no.”
“But, Mom,” I said, “I promised we would.”
“But, Jeff,” she said, “what if you go into that haunted house and never come out?”
“Mom, that’s not going to—”
“I mean, I guess I could move my sewing machine into your room,” she said. “Maybe the TV. And my computer and a small sofa. But what would I do with all your stuff?”
I nearly choked. “Mom!”
“I’m kidding,” she said, giving me a hug. “But I think Joey and Joey’s mother and Mrs. Bookman and I will go with you.”
I sighed and shook my head slowly.
“Mom, Mom, Mom …”
“Yes, yes, yes?”
“We’re professional detectives,” I said. “Not to mention professional Goofballs, which, believe me, is really hard not to mention. You and the other ladies and Joey are just not goofy enough.”
It was a great speech. It was almost too great. I watched my mom’s face go through a hundred expressions until I thought she was going to say, “Fine. Just help me move my sewing machine—”
Luckily, she didn’t.
“We’ll wait in the car outside Hyde House while you and the Goofballs go in and find your ghost.”
That made me feel a lot better, but I couldn’t say that, of course.
I’m a tough professional.
“I guess you can be there,” I said.
“I guess so, too,” she said. “Now, please call your friends and ask them to get their parents’ permission, too.”
So I did. Then I rummaged in my closet for the blackest jeans and blackest sweatshirt and blackest sneakers I could find.
“I want to blend into the shadows,” I told Sparky. “To hide from ghosts if I have to.”
“Goof?”
“But, Sparky, you don’t need a disguise. You’re already wearing a fur coat!”
Then the doorbell rang, and Kelly power walked in. “You’ll blend in with the shadows,” she said when she saw my outfit.
“You’ll blend in with … yourself,” I said. “Kelly, you’re wearing the same orange sweatsuit you wore at the library. We’re hunting a ghost. You need to be ready!”
She made a face. “I am ready. Ready for nothing. Because I don’t believe in ghosts.”
“I did,” she said. “I sweatsuited myself.”
Next to come in was Mara.
She posed for us in a dark-blue outfit, from a pair of dark-blue shoes to two dark-blue chopsticks in her hair. On her belt hung a dark-blue flashlight.
“I’m all dark blue,” she said.
“Stylish,” I said.
Brian surprised us all by coming to the door in his dad’s entire baggy tuxedo.
“How is that a ghost-catching outfit?” Mara asked him.
Brian grinned. “My dad says dress nicely, and you’ll get in anywhere. A tuxedo is the best outfit for that.”
“But Joey’s mom has a key to Hyde House,” I said. “Where else are you going?”
“It’s simple,” he said, which we knew meant it wouldn’t be. “Hyde House has already made Lavinia Hyde into a ghost, right?”
“Probably not,” said Kelly, twisting the ends of her big yellow hair.
“So …,” Brian went on, “if, say, Kelly gets made into a ghost, we might have to visit the land of ghosts to bring her back.”
“Ghostology experts call it Ghostville,” said Mara. “Jeff, write that down.”
I did.
“If I have to enter Ghostville,” Brian said, “I’ll be dressed for it. Plus Dad’s tuxedo is big enough for all my ghost gear. See?”
Then he showed us what he had in his pockets. It took so long we had to sit down.
He had: a tissue box, a yo-yo, a giant magnifying glass, a tiny harmonica, a compass, five colored toothpicks, four index cards, a clown nose, a butterfly net, a dozen paper clips, and a hard-boiled egg.
Kelly grumbled, “If ghosts did exist, which they don’t, they would have the ability to vanish whenever they want. Not even that stuff would catch them.”
“Don’t worry,” said Brian. “As a backup, I’m letting Sparky use my flashlight.” Then he attached a tiny flashlight to Sparky’s collar.
“All right, Goofballs,” I said, “let’s march!”
Which no one really did because my mom drove us.
Ten minutes later we were staring up at Hyde House. There was a big old gnarly tree growing in front of it. Through the branches, the windows stared down at us like creepy eyes, watching everything we did. On top, there was a spooky crooked tower.
“If I were a ghost,” I said, “this is where I’d live.”
“There are no ghosts,” said Kelly. “But if there were, I’d agree with you.”
“I guess we should go in,” I said.
“I guess we should,” said Brian.
“I agree,” said Mara.
“That settles it,” said Kelly. “Here we go.”
But no one moved.
Whoosh, whoosh! Boom-ba-boom!
No, it wasn’t Brian making noises this time. It was real wind howling and real thunder thundering. Then it started to rain.
“Better get inside before Jeff’s open mind gets all soggy,” said Brian. “Believe me, it’s not a pretty sight.”
On the top step we turned to the street. My mom sat in our car. Joey and his mother were in the backseat with Mrs. Bookman.
We all waved. Even Sparky waved his paw.
Then I drew in a deep breath, put the key in the lock, turned it, put my hand firmly on the doorknob, and pushed.
Eee-ooo-rrr-eee!
The door really squeaked like Sparky’s fuzzy squeeze toy.
But nobody was laughing when we stepped into Hyde House.
