It had been five days since Will had announced he was falling in love with her, and Ivy still didn’t know how to deal with it. She wanted to just throw caution to the wind and allow herself to believe that they could actually have a life together. She’d told him she cared about him, but it was so much more than that. She was in love with him, and she had been for quite some time. She wasn’t even sure when it had happened. She’d simply woken up several weeks ago knowing that everything she’d ever felt for Daniel had been nowhere near what she felt for Will.
And none of that even mattered. There was still a huge freaking secret between them. She should have told him before they’d ever gotten together. The longer she kept it from him, the heavier it weighed on her chest. It was getting harder to breathe every time she looked at him.
“We’re taking Ivy out to lunch today,” Peyton announced as she and Sarah walked up to where Ivy and Will had been talking to Simon. Well, Will had been talking. Simon had been shooting her concerned looks. She just smiled and pretended that she hadn’t noticed anything.
“Also, we’re going to try to convince her to stay in the country and be the official team tutor so the families with kids can travel with the team more often.”
Ivy’s head whipped around. “What?”
Sarah linked arms with her. “Trust me, this is a great idea. You get to stay in the country. We get to keep our friend. You’ll have a teaching job. And you’ll get to see Charlotte all the time, too.”
“And Will doesn’t turn into a morose fuck with you thousands of miles away,” Peyton added. “Everyone’s a winner.”
Ivy opened her mouth and closed it again, feeling her cheeks heat. “It’s probably too soon to start making plans like this.”
“Not by my count,” Peyton said. “Aren’t you due to leave next week?”
Hearing someone else say it shifted the ground beneath Ivy’s feet, and she felt as though she might fall. This was the beginning of the end. Yes, Will had said that he wanted try a long-distance relationship—do whatever it took—but she was honest enough with herself to know that it would never last.
“Speaking of leaving,” Sarah said. “We should get going, or we’re going to miss our reservation.”
Ivy turned to Will and quickly kissed him. But, before she could leave, he caught her face and cradled it in his hands and kissed her again—deeper, longer—until she melted against him. When they finally parted, he stared into her eyes. “See you at home.”
She nodded. “See you then.”
Now, the ground was tilting beneath her feet for a completely different reason.
Peyton nudged Ivy’s shoulder as they walked toward Sarah’s car. “I know you don’t want to leave that behind.”
She wasn’t wrong. At all.
After they’d eaten at some decadent French restaurant Peyton had insisted they try, they stopped at the restroom on the way out.
“Oh, balls,” Peyton muttered from inside the stall. “Do either of you have a tampon?”
“I’m sure I do,” Ivy said. “Let me check my purse.”
She dug through the contents of her bag as a slow prickling sweat rose on her skin and dread made her blood run cold. As soon as she passed the tampon under the stall, she grabbed her phone and opened her period app. She hadn’t gotten her period yet this month. Flipping to the previous month, she counted forward to the pink dots indicated on the calendar. She was three weeks late. She was never late. Her reproductive system operated with the precision of a Swiss watch.
“Ivy?” Sarah asked. “Are you all right?”
Ivy caught a glimpse of her reflection. The blood had drained from her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified.
Peyton met her gaze in the mirror as she washed her hands then took Ivy’s arm and led her to the seating area that they’d walked through to reach the stalls. They stopped in front of a couch. “You look like you need a sit-down, ducks.”
Woodenly, Ivy sank onto a cushion with Sarah and Peyton on either side of her. Stomach roiling, she lowered her phone so they could both see the app. “I’m late.”
“How late?” Sarah asked as Peyton grabbed the phone and started scrolling through the past months.
“Three weeks,” Ivy murmured.
“Damn. You’re regular as fuck,” Peyton added, glancing past Ivy at Sarah, concern evident in her expression.
“Have you ever been late before?” Sarah asked.
Ivy nodded, her eyes burning with sudden tears. “Twelve years ago.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sarah asked at the same time Peyton demanded, “What happened?”
Ivy smiled slightly as she wiped at her eyes. The differences between the two women couldn’t have been better illustrated.
“The night before Charlotte’s wedding, my fiancé dumped me.”
“Tosser,” Peyton muttered.
Ivy blew her nose with the tissue Sarah had just pulled from her purse. “He really was,” she agreed. “I didn’t tell Charlotte until after the honeymoon. I didn’t want her worrying about me. I didn’t want to ruin the wedding, you know?”
Both women nodded, and she continued, “I was angry and feeling sorry for myself, and I had entirely too much to drink.”
Peyton nodded sympathetically.
“It’s a long story, but I ended up in a broom closet with Will.”
Sarah’s eyes widened, and she looked horrified.
Peyton just looked furious. “He took advantage of you?” she demanded.
“I was the one who went after him.”
“You were drunk,” Peyton snapped. “He knows better.”
“He does now. But he was seventeen. And a virgin. Honestly, I’m the one who took advantage of him.”
She swallowed hard. She’d never told anyone this before, and suddenly, she was telling Will’s friends—hers, too, she supposed. But their friendships were so new. Maybe that made it easier to share everything. They didn’t have years of assuming that they knew everything about each other like she and Charlotte did. Her chest ached when she thought of telling her best friend all this. And she’d have to. There was no avoiding it, anymore. She realized that, now.
“Anyway, we didn’t use protection.” She swiped at her eyes. “Of course, that never occurred to me until I was a month late.”
“Oh, no.” Sarah took her hand.
Peyton put her arm around Ivy’s shoulders.
She took a breath. “I ended up terminating the pregnancy.”
“Will doesn’t know?” Peyton asked, gently.
Ivy shook her head. “I never thought I’d see him again. I never thought it would ever be an issue for anyone but me.”
“Sometimes,” Sarah said, “we have to make choices with the information and the resources we have available at the time.” She squeezed Ivy’s hand. “A lot of women have faced decisions they didn’t expect to have to when their knickers were on the floor.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve faced that decision.”
Both Ivy and Peyton looked at Sarah.
“Years ago—before I met Rob—I was dating this abusive arsehole. Knew I’d never get away from him if I had the baby. I couldn’t bring a child into that life.” She smiled sadly. “I know I did the right thing for situation I was in. But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard.”
Ivy nodded. “I need to talk to Will.”
“Course you do, ducks.” Peyton threw her arms around Ivy. “And whatever you need, we’ve got your back.”
Sarah hugged her, too. “Absolutely. Anything you need.” She pulled back and stared into Ivy’s eyes. “Anything at all.”
The tears she thought she’d quelled sprang to life again. “I don’t want to put you guys in a weird position with Will. You’ve both known him a lot longer than you’ve known me.”
“We’ve got your back,” Peyton reiterated.
Sarah nodded and tilted her head toward Peyton. “What she said.”
Ivy sniffled. She never would have imagined that, not only would she end up falling in love on this trip, she’d also make amazingly wonderful new friends. Ultimately, she knew the she was responsible for whatever happened, but it was nice to know that she wasn’t completely alone like she’d been last time.
Thirty minutes later, Peyton had dropped Ivy off at Will’s empty flat, and she paced around the place, tucking her belongings back into her suitcase. If she needed to get out quickly, she wanted to be ready. Not that she thought Will might hurt her. He wouldn’t. Ever. There was no question of that. But, if things went south between them—and they very easily could with what they needed to talk about—she didn’t want to prolong either of their discomfort while she packed her stuff.
She zipped her toiletry bag and set it on the floor next to her suitcase.
“Your flight doesn’t leave until next week.”
Heart in her throat, she whirled to face Will. He leaned into the bedroom doorway, arms braced above his head on the frame.
As soon as he met her gaze, his arms dropped, and he’d crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. “What’s the matter?”
She forced a smile. “Who said anything was wrong?”
He stared at her, his expression incredulous. “You’re packing your shit. Your eyes are red and puffy, and your face is blotchy. You’ve been crying. What the hell happened?” He smoothed his hand over the back of her head. “Did Peyton say something?”
“What? No.” She shook her head. “Peyton is amazing. And so is Sarah.” She took a deep breath. “This doesn’t have anything to do with them.”
Concern shadowed his eyes. “Did I do something to upset you?”
She shook her head. “No.” She pulled out of his embrace and crossed her arms over her chest. “But we do need to talk.”
“What’s going on? Is this about Charlotte? I told you, we can—”
“Will, I’m late.”
“For what?”
Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at him. Waiting, she watched his face as her meaning clicked into place. His eyes widened, and he sank down on the bed.