Thanks to all the indispensable go-to people everywhere whom I’ve had the privilege to know, including so very many who are not mentioned herein.
In particular, thanks to the following:
The more than half-a-million incredible individuals from over four hundred organizations who have participated in our survey, interview, and focus group research since 1993. Thanks also to the many leaders in business, nonprofit, and government organizations who have expressed such confidence in our work by hiring us to conduct assessments, provide advice, and run training programs.
To all those people who have attended my keynotes and seminars over the years: thanks for listening, laughing, sharing the wisdom of your experience, pushing me with the really tough questions, being kind, and teaching me. My greatest intellectual debt is to all of these real people in the real world who have allowed me to help them wrestle with their challenges. Special thanks to those whose stories appear in this book. I’ve only named a few individuals; for the most part, I have used pseudonyms and I’ve also mixed up the ancillary details to help keep the stories anonymous.
To my colleagues past and present at RainmakerThinking, especially the current team—Kimberli Math, Elizabeth (“Lightning Girl”) Richards, and Cheryl Wolansky—thank you for your real-influence thinking, alignment, good decisions, smart work, valuable contributions, and commitment to getting better at working together every step of the way. Every one of you is a true go-to person. I consider each of you to be a true friend, and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to work with you all.
If you have never visited the RainmakerThinking offices next door to my house in Whitneyville, Connecticut, you might not know that in the same house where the business is located is our dojo, where we practice karate. Also living there is my lifelong karate teacher (since I was seven years old), the great Master Frank Gorman, about whom I’ve written in other books: he’s the “Karate Master Next Door” in the situation comedy I’m writing in my head. And, also, Frank’s grandson, my honorary nephew, dear friend, and karate student Nathan Gorman. And, also, Nathan’s dog, Bentley Kanbun Gorman, who is now among my newest and best of friends. All three Gormans are family. I have bent all of their ears about this book for years now. Frank, an avid reader, has read several earlier drafts and made suggestions. Nathan has listened patiently on many a car ride and made suggestions. And Bentley has listened kindly but entirely without comment. I am grateful to all of them.
When it comes to karate, I could thank everybody with whom I’ve ever trained, as I wouldn’t be the same without them all. I must thank the current primary members of my own dojo, in addition to Frank and Nathan and Bentley: Ian Sweeney (who is married to Lightning Girl) and Charles Jones, along with lifelong dojo members Rob Schulman, Michael Harrigan, Joe Gilbert, Ryan Dean, Bob Misseau, Chris Cox, Peggy Hess, Geoff Crouse, and Sam Malissa, as well as Bob Kaiser (who gave me the story about the dentist lawyer Eric Ploumis). Geoff (whom I’ve known since 1983), the “Karate Master CEO” in the memoir I’m writing, has been one of my best clients, as well as one of my best friends and also, other than Frank, my primary teacher in the dojo. He’s a great source of wisdom and is quoted in this book. Sam, also a very close friend, has been my karate student since 2012 and worked with us at RainmakerThinking (2018–2020). Sam and I had many conversations about early iterations of the book, and he read and made very helpful comments on the first draft.
Pamela Haag, not a karateka, but also a very close friend and a brilliant writer, editor, and scholar in her own right, came to Whitneyville early in my writing process (spring 2019) and spent a long weekend with me and a laptop, asking questions, typing notes, and lending her advice and support. Pam’s patience, insight, and guidance were critical to the early formation of the book and well worth every minute and every penny.
Two more of my very oldest and closest friends, Steve Katz (my oldest friend, tied with his twin brother Jeff; and sons of David Katz, mentioned in chapter 8) and Lisa Wolf (from Amherst days). Both Steve and Lisa read and commented at length on the first draft. They both gave me excellent advice that I incorporated almost in entirety. Indeed, my conversation with Lisa made me realize she was the perfect character with whom to open chapter 2.
And then there is Harvard Business Review Press. I have had some great publishers over the years. But I’ve always coveted HBR Press and always wanted to publish a book with it. I am profoundly thankful to Melinda Merino, editorial director, and Jeff Kehoe, executive editor, for believing in this book and throwing their weight and prestige behind it. Thanks to the whole team at Harvard including Sally Ashworth, Julie Devoll, Lindsey Dietrich, Alexandra Kephart, Erika Heilman, Jon Shipley, Felicia Sinusas, and Alicyn Zall. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for the honor of working with you and HBR Press. I hope I’ve lived up to your confidence in me.
Jeff Kehoe gave me lots of support and encouragement along the way and great feedback on the first draft, making extensive notes on the initial manuscript, giving me a chance to bring the manuscript up a whole level, and then giving me a very smart piece of advice/marching order: “You can take this manuscript to yet another new level by working with the go-to person of developmental editors, the very talented, diligent, and effective Lucy McCauley.” Being a good soldier, I worked with Lucy McCauley, who has taken a scalpel to this manuscript and a paintbrush and clay and ribbons and frosting. She helped me add so much valuable structure and substance from the first page to the last. Thank you, Lucy, so very much for your spectacular work. This book is so much better because of you.
Meanwhile, Susan Rabiner, my agent (also my wife Debby’s agent) and our dear friend, is always there behind the scenes of our careers in book publishing. Susan is otherworldly when it comes to understanding books and setting them up for success. Talk about knowing when to say no and how to say yes. Susan is truly a genius when it comes to helping a writer figure out whether and how to turn an idea into a book worth publishing. Genius Susan and her genius husband, the late Al Fortunato, wrote the book on publishing nonfiction, Thinking Like Your Editor. Susan talked me through every stage of turning my latest research into this book.
To my family and friends, I owe my deep and abiding thanks for allowing me to be me and for being who you are. Thanks to my parents, Henry and Norma Tulgan (d. 2016); my parents-in-law, Julie and Paul Applegate; my nieces and nephews (from youngest to oldest): Eli, Frances, Erin, Perry, and Elisa; my sister, Ronna, and my brother, Jim; my sister-in-law, Tanya, and my brothers-in-law, Shan and Tom, and Jim’s life partner, Debbie (and their grandson, Emerson). I love every one of you so very much.
I should add a special thanks to my sister, Ronna, who read an early outline and also the first full draft of the book, gave me great comments on both, and had several very helpful conversations with me along the way. (She did the same thing, I recall, way back in the early nineties on my very first book, Managing Generation X.) Thanks Ronna!
Special thanks to my ever-loving parents for all that hard work of raising me and for being among the very most supportive parents and closest friends I could ever hope for. I treasure every single minute we have spent together. This is my first book since losing my mother, which makes me feel very sad. But this book is dedicated to my father, which makes me feel very happy.
Also special thanks to Frances, who since the age of five minutes has been the closest I’ve ever had to my own child. Fran, I will never be your father, but you will always be my daughter.
Finally, I reserve my most profound thanks always for my wife, Dr. Debby Applegate, winner of the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for Biography for her book The Most Famous Man in America: The Biography of Henry Ward Beecher and author of the forthcoming Madam: The Notorious Life and Times of Polly Adler. Debby’s books (and articles) are so good, such fine specimens of writing and thinking; she is my beacon of inspiration whenever I’m writing or thinking. She asks the toughest questions and offers the most interesting answers. She has literally and literarily held my hand throughout the writing of this book and, really, through every move I’ve made over the last (nearly) thirty-five years. I asked Debby to marry me when she was seventeen. It took me eight years to convince her. And here we are. Debby is my constant adviser, my greatest supporter, my toughest critic, my closest collaborator, the love of my life, my best friend, my smartest friend, my partner in all things, half of my soul, owner of my heart, and the person without whom I would cease to be. Thank you, my love.