‘Well, this is very nice,’ said Joan.
Nice was perhaps a bit of an understatement, thought Lily as she looked around. The Ivy was very pretty. Painted frescoes covered the ceiling and walls, which were also draped with garland chandeliers and neoclassical statues.
She watched Joan shuffle in her seat a little self-consciously. It was quite an ostentatious place to meet for dinner for someone who was more at home in a Barbour and wellies in their little country cottage from what Lily could remember.
Joan was wearing a peach-coloured jacket, along with a pretty silver brooch and a string of pearls. But her rough hands indicated a love of the garden. Lily wondered why on earth Jack had chosen such a place that appeared to make his parents feel so uncomfortable.
Peter Carter looked equally out of place, although he was nodding his head enthusiastically and saying, ‘Absolutely,’ in agreement with his wife.
He was wearing a battered blazer and a maroon tie from the village cricket team that he supported. He, too, had a warm smile and ruddy cheeks from a lifetime spent outside.
Lily knew that they weren’t rich, but Peter’s job had enabled them to be able to send Jack to his expensive boarding school.
‘I thought it would be a nice treat,’ said Jack, with a small frown as his mother continued to shuffle in her seat.
He had changed the instant that they had met his parents. Suddenly, it was as if his invisible barriers had been raised. He was cool, distant even. He had left Lily to make the small talk with his parents whilst he stayed mostly silent.
Thankfully, they all knew each other quite well and were able to chat about the village and neighbours.
They were meeting early for dinner at 5.30 p.m. as his parents had theatre reservations.
‘Which show are you going to see tonight?’ asked Lily.
Peter smiled. ‘I promised my wife, just after we were married, that I would take her to see The Sound of Music.’
‘It’s only taken him forty years to make good on his promise,’ said Joan, rolling her eyes.
‘Our anniversary isn’t until next month,’ said Peter. ‘I’ve still got thirty-five days left to defend my honour.’
‘It’s your ruby wedding anniversary next month?’ said Lily in surprise.
‘I know,’ said Peter, with a wink. ‘I don’t look old enough to have been married that long.’
Joan gave him a nudge with her elbow. ‘You old fool.’
‘No, I meant how wonderful,’ said Lily, smiling. ‘You should have a party.’
She glanced at Jack, who was resolutely mute as he checked his iPhone.
‘We don’t like to make a fuss,’ said Joan, quickly.
Lily noted that both of his parents kept looking at their son as if to engage him in conversation. But he had completely shut down.
So it was left to Lily to continue the light chatter.
‘Well, I’ve heard this production is amazing,’ she said in a bright tone. ‘And you can’t beat “Edelweiss”, can you?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Joan, giving her a warm and grateful smile.
They carried on chatting, with Jack remaining engrossed in his mobile screen until their dinner plates had been cleared away.
‘Excuse me,’ he said, quickly getting up. ‘I must make a phone call.’
As he left the table, the three of them sighed at the same time.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Lily, quickly. ‘I don’t know what’s got into him this afternoon. He’s been fine recently.’
Joan shook her head sadly. ‘It’s us,’ she said, in a hushed tone.
Peter reached out to squeeze his wife’s hand. ‘We’re used to it,’ he said.
‘But why?’ asked Lily. ‘When you gave him so much to be thankful for?’
‘I think, sometimes, that he’s embarrassed,’ said Joan. ‘That he knows that we remember what it was like for him before we adopted him.’
‘How bad was it?’ asked Lily, unable to prevent herself from asking.
‘Terrible,’ said Peter, looking distraught. ‘He was covered in bruises when we first met him.’
‘When I think about what a rotten start in life he had,’ said Joan tremulously, ‘Well, it makes my blood boil! Some people don’t deserve to have children when there are so many others, like myself, who would love that child from the day they were born. If only they had been given the chance.’ Her voice trembled with emotion, which she shook away with a shake of her head. ‘But that’s a different story.’
‘We couldn’t have children,’ said Peter, looking downcast. ‘So we adopted Jack.’
‘We understand why he acts this way,’ said Joan, becoming teary. ‘We truly do. We did what we could. Gave him the best education that we could afford. We gave him a new start in life. And that’s fine. We can live with that, because he deserved it.’
But Lily was dismayed. This nice couple only wanted a child to care for, having been denied the chance by nature.
And this was how Jack repaid them? She glanced over to where she could see him pacing up and down in the foyer, talking into his mobile.
‘Excuse me,’ she said, standing up. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’
She walked through the busy restaurant with a steely look in her eyes.
*
Jack was deep in conversation with Will when the phone was suddenly snatched out of his hand.
‘He’ll call you back,’ said Lily into the mobile before disconnecting the call.
‘What on earth are you doing?’ he asked, shocked.
‘Come with me,’ she hissed at him, taking his hand and dragging him behind one of the many grand pillars in the foyer.
Once they were mostly hidden from view, she turned to face him and he realised that she was incandescent with rage.
‘What are you doing?’ she said, keeping her voice down, but the tone was still angry. ‘You wanted me to have dinner with your parents and yet you’ve sat there and barely said a word. You’re incredibly rude, staring at your mobile. It’s like you’ve regressed back into that angry teenager I knew all those years ago.’
‘You know nothing about it,’ he said, glaring down at her.
‘I know everything,’ she replied. ‘After all, you told me, didn’t you? But what I don’t get is why you would treat them this way. God, they’re so on edge I wouldn’t be surprised if they need a stiff drink after this!’
‘They’re fine,’ he snapped.
‘Of course they’re not fine,’ she said, in an exasperated tone. ‘Any fool could see that. For a start, what on earth were you thinking bringing them here? Even I can see that the whole place makes them feel uncomfortable.’
‘I didn’t think—’ he began to say, but she interrupted him.
‘No, I don’t suppose you ever think about them,’ she carried on. ‘About the agonies they go through trying not to impose on your life. The life that they gave you!’
She stopped, to catch her breath. Her green eyes were glittering with anger and frustration.
‘Now, listen,’ he said, reaching out to grab her elbow. ‘You don’t understand a thing about me.’
‘I understand plenty,’ she told him. ‘But they’re not the bad guys here.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Your birth parents were rubbish. Unbelievably awful. And for that I’m truly sorry for you. But Joan and Peter are a sweet couple who just wanted a child to love. They chose you! They didn’t have to but they did. You could have been passed by. Have you any idea how lucky you are?’
‘I’m fully aware of the difficulties adopting me caused in their lives,’ he said between clenched teeth.
‘And yet you still treat them with complete indifference,’ she told him, rolling her eyes.
‘Because they’re going to give up on me eventually, just like everyone else,’ he retorted before he could think.
He paused and shook his head. Had he really just said that aloud?
Lily took a sharp intake of breath. ‘My God,’ she whispered. ‘You still think they’re going to leave you? Even after all this time?’
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Everyone leaves eventually.’
‘But you’re the one pushing them away,’ she said, shaking her head sadly. ‘Not the other way round. They want to be in your life. Is this what you do with everyone in your life?’
He grabbed her and pulled her close to him. ‘Does this look as if I’m pushing everyone away?’ he said, in a fierce tone.
‘You did once. Now you’re just doing it to prove me wrong. But you know I’m right.’ She reached out and stroked his cheek with her hand. ‘Listen to me,’ she told him, her tone much softer now. ‘Those are good people in there. They’re not going anywhere. You have to trust them. It’s time to put your faith in them.’
He reached out and imprisoned the hand against his cheek with his. ‘I don’t know if I can,’ he told her. He barely recognised his own voice as it sounded so hoarse.
‘You can do anything you put your mind to, Jack Carter,’ she told him, with a gentle smile. ‘Look at everything you’ve achieved. Everything you’ve fought against. Everyone you’ve helped. Surely you can do this one small thing and have a nice dinner with your parents?’
‘For you?’ he said. ‘I’ll try.’
She shook her head. ‘Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself,’ she told him. She reached up to brush her lips against his cheek. ‘I’m going to the ladies’. And you’re going back in there to make amends.’
They locked eyes for a second before she turned and walked away.
Jack took a deep breath before he walked back into the restaurant, forcing himself to relax.
He looked at his parents, holding hands at the table. He hadn’t booked them a table at The Ivy to impress them. They knew his humble beginnings and they weren’t snobs, anyway. But he had wanted it to be a treat.
Sitting down, he took a grateful gulp of wine from his glass to give him the courage to speak the words that he needed to say. Words that Lily had encouraged him to say. If only she were here to give him that same strength now.
But this was something he had to face.
‘There’s something I want to say,’ he began, trying to keep his tone deliberately casual.
He watched his parents exchange a worried look, but they stayed silent.
‘I just thought I should tell you…’ His voice trailed off into a croak, so he cleared his throat and tried again. ‘I’ve come to realise that…’
There was silence for a moment. He had to do this. He had to say something after all these years. What if he never got the chance again? What if the fates weren’t in his favour? He knew he would regret never saying the words that had to be said aloud.
‘What is it, son?’ asked Peter, gently.
Jack cleared his throat. ‘I’ve been thinking recently that I never said thank you. For taking me on. For adopting me all those years ago.’
The air stilled around the table as his words sunk in.
‘And I should have done,’ he carried on. ‘I should have said thank you a long time ago.’
With a tear rolling down her cheek, Joan reached out and took his hand. For once, he made himself not pull his own away in response. He let her continue to squeeze his hand as she spoke.
‘I don’t know how you put up with me,’ said Jack, trying and failing to inject some humour into the conversation. ‘It must have been a nightmare. I was so angry.’
‘And with good reason!’ said his father in a cross tone. ‘But look at what you’ve accomplished since then.’
‘Thanks to the good education that you paid for,’ added Jack.
Peter shrugged his shoulders. ‘That’s just books and stuff,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘That didn’t give you the generous heart and the need to help people out. Something you’ve done so much recently. That’s what makes me proud. You could have said to hell with the world. Nobody’s ever been good to me so why should I bother? But you didn’t. You fight for them. And that’s what makes you the man you are.’
He should have known that they would never stop loving him. That they had signed up to be his parents for life.
Joan was still mopping up her tears when Lily returned to the table. He was grateful that she pretended not to notice as she sat down. That she had allowed him the space to say his words in private.
Jack glanced over at her and gave her a brief smile before looking back at his parents. ‘So, this big wedding anniversary of yours? We should do something to celebrate,’ he said. ‘How about a party?’
His parents fell silent, their mouths open in shock. ‘You want to do that for us?’ asked Joan.
Jack looked at Lily, who was nodding enthusiastically at him. ‘Of course,’ he said, quickly. ‘I think it’s the least I can do for such a special celebration. After all, isn’t that what sons do?’
The tears flowed once more before Joan finally managed to pull herself together.
‘You realise that I’ll never be able to dine in here ever again,’ said Jack, but he reached out to take his mother’s hand to soften his words. ‘You’ve ruined my carefully cultivated reputation as a hard, unfeeling property developer.’
Joan squeezed his hand in reply. ‘You were never that,’ she told him.
‘So do you often get time to go to the theatre?’ said Lily, once the high emotion around the table had settled down again.
Jack was grateful for her subtlety in steering the conversation on to more unemotional topics.
He looked at the woman sitting beside him at the table. All the private moments they had shared these past few weeks kept running through his mind. He had finally discovered the real Lily beneath the brittle outside.
And it turned out she was an incredibly special woman. He realised with a start that she was the one that everyone talked about. And he had no idea what to do about it.