Chapter Sixteen

"God." Kelsey's voice shook with emotion." I'm so sorry, Shaun. I can't imagine... I'm so sorry."

"It happened within a few seconds. Just one look at my wife. I lost control of the car... of everything." He stopped talking and drew his knees to his body, hugging them. He couldn't continue his story. "I can't..."

"I understand." Kelsey's voice was soaked with the tears he wished he could cry. She moved closer to him and covered his shoulders with one half of the blanket.

Since the funeral, he hadn't shed one tear for his wife, no matter how much he wanted to. He’d broken down the day she died. And then he just couldn’t cry anymore. He finally came to accept it as punishment for what he had done. The pain would forever torment him; there'd be no mercy and no way of releasing it.

"Walk away, Kelsey,” he said. “You're a great woman. But I'm too damaged. You’ll get hurt."

"Say what you want. I'm not going anywhere." Kelsey leaned her head on his shoulder and he held his breath, as if breathing would dispel the comfort of that one gesture. "You did not kill your wife," she whispered. "It was an accident."

Shaun flinched. He couldn't tell her that the accident was not what killed his wife—not on its own, at least. That it had started the journey to her death, but he had ended it. Maybe he'd finish the story one day. Right now he feared if she found out the whole truth, she might end up seeing the monster within him.

"Shaun," she whispered. "I'll be here if you ever need to talk again. I'll be your friend, if that's what you want. I'll help you through this if you let me."

Shaun closed his sore eyes and smiled. "Only if your friendship comes with benefits." He was doing it again, stepping on dangerous ground. But he needed her, dammit. His body needed her. His heart needed her. He needed her. Period.

"I don't do friends with benefits," Kelsey said. "But for you, I'll make an exception. Now let's get out of here before my fingers fall off."

Shaun had been kidding about the benefits thing, but she didn't seem to have understood. He wasn't about to reject her offer.

***

Cool air slapped Kelsey's cheeks as the sand whispered beneath her feet. At first they walked side by side in silence. It was so quiet that she could hear her own heartbeat. Shaun's revelation had shaken her to the core, but she would keep that shock well hidden so he didn't feel worse than he already did. But was she crazy? Why couldn't she run from this broken man? Why did she just agree to a friends-with-benefits relationship with him? What kind of woman did that?

A desperate one, a small voice in her head told her. But no, she wasn't desperate. She just felt more for Shaun than she could admit to him, or even to herself. She was falling in love with him and despite the obstacles, it felt like the real thing. Only time would tell. Until then, she'd stick around. She'd be there for him, help him heal, and wait to see if he'd eventually ask to be more than friends.

She was touched that he had told her about his past, and understood at last why he was such a careful driver. She would not turn her back on him now. He needed someone to be there for him, to understand, to listen, to like him anyway. She would be that person. The need to be there for him, to comfort him, maybe heal him, raged so furiously inside her that she couldn't ignore it. What did it matter if he had baggage? Who didn't? She'd help him carry his until he was ready to let it go. Even though accidents happened all the time, she wouldn't be able to convince him not to feel guilty. Eight years was a long time to convince himself he had killed his wife. It would take a lot longer for him to learn to think otherwise.

A few minutes later they entered Shaun's cottage. Kelsey eased herself down onto the sofa and Shaun covered her legs with a blanket, then made them both a cup of chamomile tea.

"Warm enough?" he asked, and Kelsey nodded. But not from the tea, nor the blanket. No, she was warm from the growing fire he had stoked inside of her. A fire that seemed to be growing bigger every moment she was with him.

"Tell me more about yourself." He lifted her feet from the couch and placed them onto his lap.

"What do you want to know?" Kelsey sipped her tea.

"Everything."

She nodded, and as they drank their tea, she told him the rest of her story. He had opened up to her and she'd do the same for him. She told him about her childhood, her mother dying when she turned thirteen, her father forgetting about her and becoming a workaholic. Then she told him about Craig and the wedding that never happened. When she told him what Craig had done to her, Shaun put down his cup, and wrapped his hands around her feet, holding them tight. A gesture that meant more than words. When he looked into her eyes, she saw everything she needed to know. He was not ready for a relationship yet, but he did feel something for her. It was only a matter of time before he realized he was falling in love too.

The road ahead of them was dark, but she silently prayed they would eventually get to the place they were both meant to be.

END OF BOOK 1

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