Alana gasped and winced as Alex shoved forward the last inch, breeching the barrier of her virginity. Sharp pain took all her attention and made her head tip. Tears blurred her vision.
She’d been warned it would hurt, but hadn’t expected such a bite. She sucked a breath and steadied herself by meeting his vivid blue eyes.
Moments passed and he hovered above her. They didn’t speak.
Her sex clenched and quivered but it wasn’t a demand of pain like first penetration.
Her sweet lover, who’d been so gentle with her so far, groaned and whispered a curse.
She flexed her hands on his forearms and tried not to break his skin with her nails. She wanted the discomfort to pass so he’d make love to her.
“Alana,” Alex croaked. “Are ye… Do ye wanna stop? We can stop, lass.”
He was seated deep inside her, his pelvis covering hers as his muscled chest hovered over her torso. He held his back and buttocks stiff, his powerful legs between hers, but Alana wanted him closer.
His nipples brushed hers when he inhaled and his scratchy chest hair tickled her skin, which caused gooseflesh, but that only made her want him more.
“Nay. I want you inside me.”
“I am.”
She blinked away the moisture at the corners of her eyes, and smiled when he dipped down to kiss her forehead and cheeks before a tender press of his lips on hers. Alana caressed his cheek, reveling in the stubble under her palm. She’d not meant to call him love earlier, but she’d meant it.
That shouldn’t make sense, but it did, just like the shock of what’d felt like magic when Alex had first pushed all the way inside her.
She’d felt that as sure as the hurt of him tearing her maidenhead away.
We are fated.
Alana had her answer.
“Can you…move, Alex? I want to make love to you.”
He closed his sapphire eyes and made a noise in his throat. “I dinna wanna hurt ye.”
She cupped his face and made him look at her. “The sting is gone, love. I want to feel you take me. Fully.”
“Alana—” His expression was tight, pained. He was holding himself back.
“Kiss me, Alex. Show me pleasure.” He’d already given her ecstasy with his mouth, even though he’d stopped before she could climax. It didn’t matter. She still wanted all of him.
With a groan, Alex obeyed, dipping down so their mouths could meet, and he thrust forward at the same time.
The friction of his first few thrusts had more bite than positive sensation, but Alana concentrated on his mouth slanting against hers, the feel of his warm body moving over hers, and the feather-softness of his hair under her fingertips.
She was with Alex, the only man she’d ever wanted to give herself to.
Alex.
Her human laird.
Alex.
Her fate.
Other words floated around in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t let herself think them, let alone say them. Even if they were fated, the depths of her feelings for a man she barely knew were alarming, and not something she could voice—or put life to even in her own head.
She slid her hands over his shoulders and down his back. He felt so good beneath her fingertips. Rough, hot and smooth all at the same time, perfection against her whole form.
Pleasure slid into her and spread wide as he kept driving forward, kissing and touching her as they found a rhythm, and Alana gripped his muscled rear end to encourage him.
She tilted her hips and he fell even deeper, groaning against their current kiss as she started to move with him, under him.
He took them higher and higher, until her body tightened, on the brink of climax, and restlessness shot as low as her desire when she needed Alex to go faster.
“Lass, I dinna…I—”
“Alex,” Alana breathed. “Come with me. Come for me.”
He let out a growl that was more like a plea and buried his face in her neck. His back stiffened and they held each other tight as his erection jerked inside her. Alana gasped when her core clenched and relaxed as they both found release.
Alex’s lips caressed under her chin, kissing her overheated skin, and she smiled as they both panted. His weight covered her completely, but she didn’t care. She craved him on top of her, from the springy hair on his legs that tickled hers, to the dark curls on his chest that shot awareness all over her breasts as he breathed against her.
He was perfect.
And he was hers.
They both shivered as his softening manhood slipped from her body, but she felt the loss and wanted to banish it.
They were still together.
I’m fine.
Alex propped himself above her on his elbow. “Alana…tha’ was…”
“Heavenly. Everything I’ve ever wished.”
Her lover averted his gaze until she whispered his name. “I dinna wanna hurt ye, lass.”
Alana ran her fingers through his short dark hair. “It was wonderful, love. I mean it. Thank you for being gentle and caring, but it was unnecessary. And next time, it won’t hurt at all.” She winked.
The apple of his throat bobbed. “Next time?”
She giggled and pressed a hard fast kiss to his mouth. “Of course. You don’t think I’ll walk away, now that I’ve had you?”
He shook his head, but wore a charming smirk. “The things ye say, lass.”
She stilled. “Is that bad?”
Alex flashed a lopsided grin. “Nay, a’ course no’.”
“So, you want me again?”
He chuckled, and that grin went wider as he squeezed her against him. “A’ course, lass. I willna let ye walk away, so ‘tis a good thing ye dinna wanna.”
Alex was so handsome, her insides wobbled.
Sadness closed in on her, and she didn’t want to let it chase their banter away.
How could she stay away from him?
Hadn’t she decided they were indeed fated?
Selfish. Foolish. Careless.
The words looped her head and Alana wanted to shove them away. She was with her laird, her Alex, and it was too soon for reality to encroach.
“Lass? Somethin’s wrong.”
Statement. Not question.
How to answer him?
He had a right to know about Seamus and her betrothal, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him.
“I’m…fine. I’m here with you.”
She wasn’t fine. She wanted to cry.
“Ye have ta go, dinna ye?” Alex whispered.
His face was lined, no proof he’d been laughing and smiling just moments before, and the somberness made her ache all over, despite the fact his warm body still covered hers, despite that they were still touching; they were still together.
“I do. Soon.” It wasn’t why devastation was crashing in on her, but it was convenient, and true nonetheless.
“I dinna want ye ta.”
Alana sniffled. “I don’t want to. But I’ll be expected in the morning.” She couldn’t tell him more than that, even though she should.
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “Aye, as will I, as much as I’d like ta stay here. With ye, always.”
Alana fled in tears. She didn’t even tell Alex she’d had to use a spell so he wouldn’t remember where the cave or the Faery Stones were.
He’d remember her, their time together, so that was what mattered, right?
She didn’t regret giving herself to him, but she shouldn’t have. Walking away from him now would be impossible, so she couldn’t solve her Seamus problem by having nothing dangling over her head.
Why are you so weak?
If we’re fated, I’m not weak.
Posing and answering questions to and from herself didn’t do anything but spin her into more chaos. Tears flowed freely as she ran through the tunnels on the way back to her rooms. She tried not to stomp up the winding staircase that led to her hearth.
She’d walked with him to the slit-like entrance of the cave and left him on the beach outside of it. He’d asked her not to leave, then kissed her until her toes curled and vowed he’d never let her go.
Her elation that he was just as determined to hold onto her made things worse, didn’t it?
I…can’t let you go, either.
Alana hadn’t waited to see his no doubt confused expression after she’d said the spell. To Alex, she would’ve just vanished. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she’d already broken rules—so many rules—by telling him who she was, by showing him the Faery Stones...by being intimate with him. It’d be better for them both if he only remembered her, not the cave or the portal.
Xander wasn’t going to be pleased that she’d snuck off again, even if she didn’t confess what she’d done with the laird.
No matter her skill had improved at getting by the guard undetected—both leaving the realm and returning to the Field of Light. Her cousin wouldn’t see it as positive, even if the smallest part of her was proud of herself.
Would she tell him she was no longer innocent?
He was far from stupid, so he’d likely take one look at her and guess it. They’d never made a habit of discussing bedmates in detail—as he’d declared it inappropriate—and Alana wanted to cling to that, bark how it was none of his concern, even though he’d argue.
Despite the affirmative things her cousin had recognized in Alex, Xander had never agreed they were fated. He wouldn’t approve of her in Alex’s bed, for all the reasons that were, in fact, correct.
She winced. Didn’t want to destroy the memory of her time in the human laird’s arms. Her cousin would say what he would; Alana couldn’t erase what she’d done with Alex—even if she’d wanted to. She most certainly did not.
I’ll cherish tonight forever.
She would’ve even if it hadn’t been her first time.
Her rooms were blessedly empty when she slipped past the hearth and closed the heavy portal with a spellword. Alana glanced at her bed and said another to make her fake form dissipate. She watched her bedding lower to the mattress as if deflated.
She’d half-expected Xander to be sitting on her bed, arms crossed and anger written all over his handsome face. Like he’d sense her fleeing presence. She could actually put off dealing with him until the morning.
Thank the Goddess.
Light slowly bleeding past her heavy drapes told her she didn’t have that long to wait after all. Dawn was upon her, so she’d fled the Human Realm just in time.
Regret she’d had to leave Alex mixed with worries about Seamus, and settled in her belly as if she’d eaten rocks. Alana gulped and swallowed a sob inching up from her throat. She didn’t want to cry anymore. Or feel desperation crowding her gut…her head, her heart.
It was her new unwanted constant.
She’d put herself in this situation, and now she was even more ensconced.
“Fool. You’re a fool.” Her voice startled her and she jumped.
Xander would no doubt agree.
Her head piped up and scolded her for going back to Alex, no matter how tightly knotted the Irish prince had her. Her heart disagreed vehemently, citing fate, of course.
Selfish.
Alana sank onto the edge of her bed and cradled her face. Was she the only person mad enough to have an internal argument? Or was she only mad because the whole thing was on repeat, it’d become so common.
Was she really as selfish as her mind accused the organ that thundered for only the human laird?
“Aye,” she whispered.
She didn’t bother agonizing over what she should do next, because her internal turmoil made her unqualified to make the decision.