Chapter Eleven

The house was huge. Rachel stared up at it nervously, adjusting Sofie in her arms.

Cam had told her they were meeting at his sister’s place. The gathering tonight was supposed to be only his sisters and his parents—the spouses were taking all Cam’s nieces and nephews to the movies so she and Sofie wouldn’t be bombarded by the entire family at once. His grandmother lived with his parents, but she was apparently easily confused and had stayed home to watch The Great British Bake Off since Cam wanted to keep this first meeting small. Just his parents and sisters—but there were still four SUVs crowding into the driveway in front of hers, each one a more expensive brand than the last. BMW. Porsche. Land Rover. Apparently that was the stratosphere Cam’s family lived in. Unless he’d bought them all cars when he signed his free-agent contract.

Was Cam the kind of guy who gave his family extravagant presents? He’d flown Rachel to San Francisco for the weekend to see him play and given her a jersey to wear to the game that she’d later found out was worth hundreds—a jersey that was still hidden in the back of her closet—but she hadn’t thought anything of the gifts at the time. Now as she carried her daughter past the row of eighty-thousand dollar cars, she saw those memories in a new light.

Would he want to give Sofie expensive gifts? Cell phones and iPads and a car on her sixteenth birthday? She knew she was getting ahead of herself, borrowing trouble from a future that might never come, but she couldn’t seem to stop the agitated spiral of her thoughts. She was too nervous, those panic-bunnies bouncing in her brain.

She didn’t feel ready for this, meeting Cam’s family—though it was better than seeing him alone again. She’d thrown herself into her work over the last few days, focusing on preparations for the Bachelor Auction, but Cam had invaded her dreams. She couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him, even when she didn’t see him. She’d arranged for him to see Sofie again—but always when the baby was home with Yaya or Andie and Rachel was at work. She needed time to shore up her defenses. To get control of the situation.

But she didn’t feel in control now. She reached for the doorbell, bouncing Sofie slightly in her arms. “You ready for this, baby girl?”

The last word was barely out of her mouth when the door whisked open. Cam stood in the entry, his smile broad. “You made it.”

“I said I would.” Too defensive. Get it together, Rachel. She forced a smile. “Is your family all here already?”

His grin widened, as he stepped back, holding the door wide so she could come in. “They were all early. They’re pretty excited to meet you.”

You must mean Sofie, since she was pretty sure the woman who’d kept the baby a secret from them probably wasn’t on their list of favorite people. But Rachel didn’t let her fake smile falter. “Great.”

“Hi, Sofie!” Cam reached for the baby, his face radiant as the two of them grinned at each other. “How’s my sweet girl?”

Rachel told herself it was logical that she hand Sofie over—she had to take her coat off, after all—but her arms felt empty without the familiar weight and she had to stop herself from snatching her daughter back as soon as she hung her coat on the overflowing coatrack.

“Come on,” Cam urged, and Rachel trailed him into a great room with a vaulted ceiling that could easily fit her entire apartment. Three women about Cam’s age and an older couple sat on the overstuffed couches clustered around a giant Christmas tree, all of them standing with welcoming smiles as soon as Cam appeared.

“There she is!” the older woman—who could only be Cam’s mother—exclaimed. And then they were all clustering around for introductions and a closer look. Rachel stayed where she was, two feet behind Cam and a little to his left, with her smile cemented in place as his parents and sisters gushed over the newest member of their family.

“Look at those cheeks!”

“So precious. Hi there, Sofie. I’m your Auntie Shelby. Your best auntie.”

“She looks just like you, Cam!”

“Nah, she’s way cuter than Cam ever was. Remember the ears?”

Rachel watched Sofie, her chest tight with worry that the baby would be overwhelmed, ready to whisk her back into her arms and give her some distance—but her daughter was studying her new family members calmly from the crook of Cam’s arm and seemed perfectly comfortable with the situation. It was Rachel who was quietly losing her mind.

“You must be Rachel.” A voice spoke at her elbow and Rachel jumped, glancing down at the shortest woman in the group. “I’m Carly. The oldest and wisest of Cam’s sisters. You want a drink?”

“I…” Frankly, she would have loved something to take the edge off, but she didn’t want Cam’s family to think she immediately reached for alcohol in every stressful situation. And she needed to keep her head. “I’m fine, thanks.”

Cam handed Sofie to his mother, who immediately began cooing at the baby, and Carly linked her arm with Rachel’s. “Come on. You won’t be able to pry that baby out of her arms for a while and I want to meet the woman who was able to put up with my obnoxious little brother long enough to wind up with his kid. We’ll have some cider—which I highly recommend with the cinnamon whiskey, but it’s your call.”

“Carly.” Cam’s voice held a note of warning.

His sister rolled her eyes. “Relax. I’m not going to tell her all of your embarrassing stories.”

Rachel couldn’t seem to read the mood of the room. Carly was acting like Rachel was Cam’s current girlfriend—not the woman who’d broken up with him and had his kid in secret. She was playful and grinning. What had he told his family about her?

“You don’t have to do anything she says,” Cam said to Rachel. “She isn’t the boss of the world, even if she thinks she is.”

Cam’s parents resumed their places on the couch, his mother balancing Sofie on her knee and pointing toward the Christmas presents. “It’s okay,” Rachel murmured, letting Carly tug her toward the bar at the other end of the room. The idea of talking to Cam’s mother was much scarier than being grilled by his sister.

Or all of his sisters, as it turned out.

The other two joined them at the bar stools, introducing themselves while Carly was pouring cider. Cam went to the couch to sit with his parents and if Rachel strained her ears she could just barely hear their conversation—which seemed to revolve around how much Sofie looked like Cam. Which she did. Rachel had seen the similarities since the day she was born. Her smile. The shape of her eyes.

“So we’re all dying to know—” Carly paused the bottle of cinnamon whiskey over one of the glasses, arching her brows. Rachel gave a slight nod and she smiled, splashing whiskey into each of the four cups. “What did he do?”

“Sorry?” Rachel accepted the cup Carly slid her way.

“Cam. What did he do to mess things up with you? We know what he thinks happened, but I want to hear your version.”

Rachel glanced at the three women. Carly was clearly trying to make her think she was on Rachel’s side, but she sincerely doubted Cam’s sisters were nearly as kindly disposed toward her as Carly seemed to want her to believe. Shelby, in particular, didn’t have much of a poker face and was constantly fighting a glower.

“He didn’t tell me he was married,” she said, trying to keep it as simple as possible. “When I found out, I broke up with him. Via text.” Might as well get it out there, since he’d probably already told them.

Carly nodded. “When was this?”

“Two years ago September. Right before he moved to LA.”

Something sparked in Carly’s eyes and her grin turned devilish. “You’re Miss September.”

That didn’t sound good. Rachel’s stomach clenched with the now-familiar fear that she didn’t know Cam at all. “Does he have a new girl every month?”

“No.” Carly laughed. “God, no. I just remembered—” She turned to her sisters. “Do you remember that? Right before he signed the free agent deal, how he was all stupid happy and evasive for like a month? I knew there was a girl.”

“No, you didn’t,” Ashley argued. “You kept telling me he was just having a good season and it was all about the playoff push and the free agency crap making him giddy. I was the one who came up with Miss September.”

Carly waved away her protest. “Does it really matter which one of us came up with it?”

“It does when it’s not you,” Ashley insisted.

“Whatever. I’m just excited to meet Miss September.”

“I still remember October,” Shelby said darkly and the other two sobered.

“Yeah,” Carly murmured, and the nervous pit returned to Rachel’s stomach. “October was rough.”

Rachel didn’t know what to say to that. She’d been too mad at Cam to care how he took the break-up—though at the time she’d never seriously considered that he might have taken it hard. Her own October had been pretty lousy. She’d had morning sickness that felt like the plague and she’d been kicking herself repeatedly for doing exactly what her mother had done after a lifetime of trying to be anyone but Andie—all while trying to figure out how the hell her life was going to work with a child.

“Are you originally from Boulder?” Ashley asked, changing the subject when the silence got too tense.

“I am.”

“And your parents? They’re still here?”

“Sofie and I live with my mom and my grandmother. My father died when I was little, but he was never in the picture.” She almost didn’t tell them the rest, but it wasn’t like they were never going to find out. Might as well get it all out there. The whole sordid drama of her origins. “He was Aaron Cross. The football player?” Recognition lit in Carly’s eyes, though the other two didn’t seem to know the name. Rachel shrugged, explaining, “He never wore a wedding ring either and there wasn’t exactly Google at the time—” Not like now. Rachel really should have Googled Cam’s marital status. “So my mom didn’t know he was already married with a son until she was five months pregnant with me.”

Cam’s sisters’ eyes all widened in unison. It was Carly who spoke. “Shit. No wonder you wanted to castrate Cam when you found out about Erika.”

Rachel flushed. “I don’t know about castrate. But it was probably good for him that I didn’t have a voodoo doll at the time.”

Carly laughed, raising her glass in a toast. “My brother doesn’t know how lucky he is.”

“And when you found out you were pregnant?” Shelby demanded—apparently having exhausted her resources of playing nice.

“Shelby…” Carly glared at her sister—as if she’d broken some unspoken rule.

“No, she’s right. I should have told him.” Rachel had the feeling all three of Cam’s sisters were protective of him, but Shelby was the most aggressive about it, if the way she held Rachel’s gaze was anything to go by. In a way it was almost a relief to have one of them challenge her, stripping away the illusion that they were all chummy.

The anxious knot in her stomach pulsed. “I wish I had a better explanation. I just freaked out. He was already in LA and I’d convinced myself he was the kind of guy the baby and I would be better off without. It’s no excuse, but I wasn’t really thinking clearly and all I can do is try to do better now. I am trying to do better.” Even if it wasn’t always easy, letting him back into her life.

Shelby’s face stayed impassive, like in her mind the jury was still out on that, but Carly reached over and gently clinked her glass against Rachel’s. “That’s all any of us can do. To the future.”

Ashley raised her glass, grinning. “To the future.” And even Shelby reluctantly tapped her glass to her sister’s.

Maybe, just maybe, the future would be something worth toasting.

* * * * *

“Aren’t you just the smartest baby? Yes, you are.”

Cam tried to focus on his mother cooing at Sofie, but his attention kept drifting to where Rachel was being interrogated by his sisters. He wished he could hear what they were talking about. Rachel looked as prickly as she had since she walked in the door—but at least she didn’t look any more prickly, so maybe he should take that as a good sign.

She’d been avoiding him. They were both trying to adjust to the situation, but he felt like they were two lions warily circling one another—or a pitcher trying to figure out a batter’s strengths without a scouting report. They were both figuring it out as they went along and the awkwardness was digging underneath his skin.

He wanted to be able to talk to her. He wanted her to be able to talk to him. He wanted a moment with her when things didn’t feel stilted and uncomfortable. And he wanted to not be jealous of his own sisters because she was actually talking to them.

“Cam?”

He glanced up, catching his mother watching him with a knowing look. He cleared his throat, trying to clear away the indecision. “I should go rescue Rachel.”

Thankfully, his mother didn’t comment on the fact that Rachel didn’t look like she needed rescuing. Carly and Ashley were laughing and even Shelby seemed to have lost some of the sharp distrust she’d carried around since they found out about Sofie. Rachel’s smile was more hesitant, but it was peeking out around the edges—and he was jealous again. Jealous that someone else had made her smile.

God, he was an idiot.

“Are you three playing nice?” he asked as he approached—and watched Rachel’s spine stiffen. She glanced over to where his mother was showing Sofie an alphabet toy. “She’s fine,” he assured her. “And my mother’s in heaven. Thank you for this.”

“Of course,” she murmured, as his sisters stood up and began moving toward the baby.

“Time to go dote on my niece,” Carly declared, leaving Cam and Rachel alone at the bar.

Rachel watched the exodus, not meeting his eyes.

“You okay?” he asked softly. She was so contained, like she was holding herself together.

Her gaze flicked over to his then back to the tableau in front of the tree. “I’m good. I just…it’s a lot.”

“You’re telling me. A week ago I was going to a meeting about a bachelor auction and now everything is different.”

“Not everything. You better still be at that auction. I don’t have time to find another headlining Bachelor. I already have half a dozen emails I need to reply to about the fundraiser to make sure everything is in place. I haven’t had time to do my Christmas shopping—which is usually done and wrapped under the tree by now—and now there’s meetings with you and your family to fit into a schedule that was already too full.”

“I could help,” he offered. “I could take Sofie while you do your shopping…” He trailed off, seeing the refusal on her face before she said a word.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll manage. I always do. It just feels like something has to give and I don’t want it to be Sofie’s Christmas. My mother was always scrambling until the last minute too, wrapping my presents on Christmas Eve to try to get them in before the wire. I want Sofie to have the chance to anticipate, to let the excitement of the season build.”

Cam arched a brow. “She really won’t know the difference.”

“But I will.”

“Don’t you think you’re stressing yourself out over nothing? At this age, she’s going to play with the box. If anything, she’s going to pick up on the fact that her mom is putting unnecessary stress on herself trying to make everything perfect.” It was the Christmas tree all over again. “Besides, if you force everything around Sofie to be perfect all the time, what do you think she’s going to think she has to be?”

He only meant that she needed to try to enjoy the things that weren’t part of her plans, to laugh at the things she couldn’t control. He knew firsthand how hard it was to keep up the appearance of perfection—but he saw his mistake the second Rachel raised her eyes to his.