seven

HABIT 5:

REST FOR SUCCESS

You probably know that I have a thing for…water. Drinking enough of it every day is Rule 1 of The Skinny Rules. You just can’t lose weight and keep it off if you don’t drink your water.

Rule 19 of Skinny Rules covered another essential “ingredient” for successful weight loss: sleep. Like water, it’s a wellspring of health. And like water, no one seems to get enough. But unlike drinking a glass of water when you start to get thirsty, getting “enough” sleep isn’t a quick proposition. The recommended amount of sleep is six to nine hours! Not quick at all. And then of course there’s the issue of getting to sleep even when you make the time in your schedule for the needed allotment. Too often you get yourself into bed “on time,” intending to give yourself a full night’s worth, but you just can’t seem to nod off. All of which is why so many people tell me that Rule 19 is one they just can’t quite master.

Sleep is an essential ingredient in overall health and in your ability to lose weight. Yet so far the scientific search for a good sleeping pill has yielded very little. There are sleeping medications that will make you prone to amnesia, obesity, hallucinations, and car crashes if you’re not careful. One even makes everything taste like aluminum! But there is nothing that reliably gets you through the sleep cycles required for body and mind repair and restoration. Looks like you’re going to have to get it the old-fashioned way: naturally.

So what’s the secret? What’s the behavior that thin people know and do that you need to embrace? It’s not only that healthily thin people generally tend to respect their need for sleep more than you might, and it’s not only that they don’t take their phones to bed with them (please stop doing that and other things listed on this page!). No, it’s more than that. It’s this: thin people know how to rest and relax. Not only do they get more rest (sleep), but they can shut their minds “off” and get to sleep more quickly and stay asleep longer when they allot the time for it.

THE RHYTHM OF THE NIGHT

No, not that dance tune!

I’m talking about your circadian rhythm, your internal “sleep clock.” The term circadian comes from the Latin words circa, which means “approximately,” and diem, which means “day.” Which makes sense, because your circadian rhythm ticks along over the course of about twenty-four hours, starting over each new day. Although your circadian rhythm is an innate, or built-in, thing, it takes its cues from your environment. Like, say, night and day! Light cues you to wake up (or stay awake). Darkness cues sleep. Alter the light you’re exposed to and your circadian rhythm gets out of whack. Like when you put the clock forward or back at daylight savings. Or travel across time zones.

Of course, there are other things that screw up your circadian rhythm, things that cue you to stay awake when you want to sleep. Alcohol can mess with your system in all kinds of ways, but the disorientation that comes from drinking too much of it can numb you to your circadian rhythm (until you just pass out, whether it’s night or day!). Computer and phone screens emit a kind of light that can keep you awake.

And then there’s the big daddy of sleep disruption: your daytime rhythm. If you are crazy-busy and stressed out, your internal physiological balance is affected (more on your body’s response to stress shortly), and your sleep-wake cycle can get way out of whack as a result. All around not good.

YOUR BRAIN AND BODY ON A DECENT NIGHT’S SLEEP

When you sleep well, you give your body a chance to grow, repair, and recover from your daily demands. Think of it this way: your day-to-day life—from breathing and moving to talking and exercising—takes from you. Sleep gives back. A whole host of bodily activities happen during good sleep: your blood pressure goes down, your vital organs produce more beneficial hormones (mainly growth hormone and testosterone), your immune system gets a boost, and specialized cells sweep the brain of waste products.

So what constitutes decent, anyway? For starters, your six to nine hours (for me, personally, I’ve found that I function best on eight hours) should be uninterrupted, consecutive. You can’t get four hours in the early evening, wake up for five, then get a handful more before dawn and hope to reap the health (and sanity) benefits of the total number of hours you strung together. Why? Again: rhythm.

When you sleep, you are actually cycling through phases of different quality sleep, and you’ve got to stay asleep for a while to get to the really good stuff! Think of it as spiraling happily down into rest, with periodic phases of crazy dreaming and brain wackiness. You go from light sleep to deeper, to deepest. Then you pop “up” into that dreaming, hallucination phase, then light, deeper, deepest all over again. I’ll break it down:

For the first five to ten minutes of shut-eye (when you are asleep as opposed to just lying there wishing you were), you are in very light sleep. You might twitch or feel like you’re falling if you’re aware of your surroundings at all. This is a non-rapid-eye movement phase (n-REM).

The second phase of deeper sleep lasts about twenty minutes. It’s during this time that your heart rate slows and your body temperature goes down. This is also an n-REM phase.

The third phase is often called “delta sleep” because of the slow brain waves (delta waves) that occur. You’re basically out like a light at this point—you aren’t going to be very responsive to noises and you are deeply asleep. Your body really needs to get to this point in the sleep cycle—this is the physically restorative and peaceful sleep you need to recover from the day. But this peaceful deep sleep doesn’t last long. It tends to last five to ten minutes, and then you cycle back to that second phase again, before you head off to…

Rapid-eye-movement sleep: REM. You have a lot of brain activity during REM sleep. That doesn’t mean you aren’t resting and repairing, but your brain has sort of come back online. This is when you dream. But though your brain is active, your body is not. Your muscles are really relaxed, so relaxed that your “voluntary” muscles—the ones you have to be conscious to move as opposed to, say, your heart, which goes on beating even if you’re unconscious—are actually paralyzed!

Like that first spurt of n-REM sleep, this first experience of REM might not last too long, but as your body cycles back up to the second n-REM phase (and then back to REM, and so on), each segment tends to get longer.

Bottom line: the longer you stay asleep, the longer you get in that really restorative place. If you interrupt your sleep (noises, lights, phone calls or incoming email pings, stressful list making in the middle of the night), you have to start from the top each time you fall back asleep, which means you’ll limit the length of the stretches in that really happy place.

YOUR BODY AND BRAIN ON A LACK OF SLEEP

Lack of sleep—particularly the right kind of sleep I’ve described above—has been linked to a wide range of modern chronic diseases. Though we don’t know exactly how sleep deprivation drives illness, the list of sleep-related disease is long and ever-growing. If you don’t get enough sleep, your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and immune deficiency skyrockets. Memory, reaction time, and the ability to focus plummet. Memory lapses and inability to focus aren’t good things for one’s habit formation, that’s for sure.

Researchers have known for years that people who sleep less than five or six hours a night have a higher risk of being overweight, and they are now looking into why that is. Scientific studies are starting to shed light on what many of us experience, firsthand, on a regular basis!

So, in summary, if you are…

• Craving junk food

• Unable to rationally resist aforementioned junk food

• Feeling too lethargic to work out

• Unable to feel full

• Feeling stressed

• Gaining weight

…then before you start beating yourself over the head for being a Skinny Rules dropout, ask yourself this one simple question: Am I getting enough sleep?

If the answer is no, then the odds are stacked against you. Do yourself—and your waistline—a favor. Make sure you are getting enough zzz’s, and sleep your way to a better body.

YOUR BODY AND BRAIN ON STRESS—AND RELAXATION

Okay, you believe me now: you need to get more sleep. But try as you might, you just can’t do it. You can’t seem to turn your mind “off” at night in order to get to sleep in the first place! That’s most often because of stress.

You’ve likely heard of the fight-or-flight response. It’s also known as the “stress response.” Whatever you call it, it refers to the body’s response to a perceived threat. The threat could be real—a loose zoo animal! A tornado! A mugger! Or it might be less immediate but no less anger- or fear-inducing: a looming deadline at work, a terrible traffic jam on the highway, an argument with your spouse, or just a really long to-do list (and not enough time to do even half of it). Simply put: either you feel compelled to run at the problem (lash out at it) or you want to turn tail and run away (flight mode). You feel anxiety when you’re in fight mode, and in flight mode, depression. You experience an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. You sweat.

When we are in fight-or-flight mode, blood flow is channeled away from the digestive system and poured into muscles so that we are ready to either tackle the perceived threat or run for our lives. This diversion affects everything from our saliva glands (dry mouth syndrome) to our stomach (nausea/constipation) and is supposed to be only temporary. In the short term, survival is more important than digestion.

But many of us remain in a state of high alert, juggling responsibilities and trying to keep up with the hectic pace of our lives. Chronic stress causes many health problems, so it is not surprising that it is notorious for causing a whole host of digestive issues. Studies have also shown a link between chronic stress and obesity—through direct mechanisms like increasing appetite and food intake as well as indirect mechanisms like decreasing sleep and exercise. Of course decreased sleep—as we talked about above—also has an impact on those direct mechanisms, like food intake!

So, if the fight-or-flight response is like pressing the gas pedal in your car, where are the brakes?

What I like to call the rest-and-digest response, also known as the “relaxation response,” is the exact opposite of fight-or-flight. It is the physiological response that is designed to calm your whole system and restore balance after the aforementioned danger has passed.

Being able to turn on the “relaxation response” is not only good for our minds, it is good for our waistlines, and it literally allows our bodies to “rest and digest.” In this state, everything is brought back to order, and all of our systems are given the blood supply they need to function properly. This is the state in which optimum healing and digestion occur.

RELAX, MAN

So, which way to the brake pedal?

Dr. Herbert Benson, director emeritus of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital and Mind Body Medicine Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, coined the term “the relaxation response.” He wrote a bestselling book by the same name in 1975. Dr. Benson has spent much of his forty-plus-year medical career researching ways to prompt the relaxation response in order to counter the damaging effects of stress. Among his top recommendations? Mindfulness meditation, yoga, and belly breathing. Let’s tackle these one at a time:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness meditation grew out of Buddhism as practiced in India. It’s one of the simplest forms of meditation there is: you sit, comfortably and quietly, eyes closed, and focus on your breath. If you’re like everyone else, your mind will immediately start wandering. Don’t worry. Don’t judge yourself. Just return to a focus on your breath. Try it for about ten minutes at first. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t stay focused on the in and out of your breath the whole time. The point is to keep going back to a focus on your breath. And don’t be surprised if this intense focus gets you breathing funny! As you practice you’ll connect more deeply with your breathing; you’ll slowly breathe easier. And you’ll disconnect from the problems, emotions, and obstacles that trip up your daily life. You’ll be able to see them for what they are. It’s almost like getting a bird’s-eye view of your own life!

Until recently, we didn’t have any way to understand how mindfulness works. Now, with new brain-scanning technologies, we can zero in on what parts of the brain get activated during meditation. An interesting experiment was conducted at the University of Utah recently. Researchers had fourteen meditators enter a sophisticated scanning device and begin breath-focused meditation. The participants were instructed to press a button in front of them when their mind wandered and they lost focus. An analysis showed something amazing (and not anticipated) during focused meditation. Specific areas of the brain—including our friend the basal ganglia—were linked to specific changes: improvements in attention, increased bodily sensations, and decreased negative self-thoughts, anxiety, and rumination. All three, especially reduced anxiety and negative self-thoughts, were linked to relaxation, improved mood, and better sleep. Other studies have demonstrated benefits for insomniacs, sufferers of OCD, and depressives.

Yoga

Unless you’ve been hibernating in an igloo somewhere for the last decade or so, you likely know that yoga has taken off in this country. It’s become an industry in itself, with pricey instructors, clothes, retreats, and even yoga competitions (which is kind of weird if you think about it!). But you don’t need to go all yogi to get the relaxation (and brain) benefits of a few simple positions.

Yoga also originated in India. In Sanskrit it means “yoking” of body and mind, but for our purposes it mainly means listening—paying attention to what’s in front of you right now. That’s important to keep in mind. The swamis and other holy men who first developed it 2,700 years ago mainly had one thing in mind: teaching your body and mind to escape the attachments of everyday life, attachments like pride and greed and ego and desire. In the twentieth century, some of yoga’s more adventuresome advocates came to the United States, where the practice evolved to accommodate the more practical concerns of modern life: anxiety, stress, ambition, and attachment to material things, including money. From there it evolved into today’s most popular form, hatha yoga, a series of poses (called asanas) and breathing practices (known as pranayama).

True to our scientific orientation, we Westerners soon began demanding proof that yoga “works.” That led the National Institutes of Health and other serious research institutions around the world to conduct clinical trials, scrutinizing yoga’s principal therapeutic claims, its antistress properties among them.

THE BENEFITS OF LAVENDER OIL

Blissed-out yoga teachers sometimes waft lavender oil around the room at the end of class. They offer to dab it on your temples to help you relax. Lavender-scented beauty products jump off the shelves at you, claiming to soothe your skin and transport you to instant calm. Maybe your new workout partner douses herself in the stuff as she leaves the gym and heads off to work! There seems to be a whole tribe of lavender oil peddlers out there who are going misty-eyed at the mere mention of it. Sure it smells nice, but does it really work?

Well, if your personal experience of lavender oil is not enough to convince you of the benefits, consider this extract, taken from a multicenter, double-blind, randomized study conducted in Germany in 2009, comparing a lavender oil preparation called silexan to the benzodiazepine lorazepam (Ativan) as a treatment for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): “In conclusion, our results demonstrate that silexan is as effective as lorazepam in adults with GAD. The safety of silexan was also demonstrated. Since lavender oil showed no sedative effects in our study and has no potential for drug abuse, silexan appears to be an effective and well tolerated alternative to benzodiazepines for amelioration of generalized anxiety.”

Being rested and staying calm is an important part of staying skinny! So do as the yogis do. Dab a little lavender oil on your wrists, put a few drops in your bath, and consider treating yourself to a lavender-scented eye pillow. You deserve it!

In 2006, a group of researchers at the University of Duisburg-Essen, in Germany, recruited twenty-four women to participate in a three-month study of hatha yoga. All of them were self-described as “emotionally distressed” at the outset. Each took a series of standardized tests that measure stress-related problems and stress hormones. Half of the group received two sessions a week of hatha yoga instruction; the other half did not.

At the end of the study, researchers again measured the stress indicators. In the yoga group, there were “pronounced and significant” improvements in just about every area. Patients reported big drops in anxiety, increases in well-being and vigor, and improvements in fatigue and depression. Subjects with chronic headaches and back pain got relief.

And there’s more! One of the hormones that the researchers measured before and after the study was cortisol. The yoga group showed a large drop in cortisol levels. They also reported significant decreases in mental, emotional, and physical distress. A number of other studies undertaken since have reported similar results. One report even showed increases in growth hormone, associated with heart health, muscle increases, and cognitive improvements.

All that and cool workout clothes too?! I know, awesome! In the Habit Homework section below, you’ll find the six yoga poses I want you to learn. Only six, and as you’ll see, these poses don’t require standing on your head! These are super easy, people. If you didn’t know they were yoga poses, you might just call them…stretching!

Belly Breathing

Yoga instructors refer to “belly breathing” as a way to enter a restful state. But what the heck does it mean?

“Belly breathing” is the act of taking a deep breath through your nose and filling your lungs until your lower belly gently rises. Poetic license aside, we are not actually breathing into our bellies (as in through our belly buttons!). We are breathing fully and completely into our lungs, which, in turn, causes the diaphragm to drop down and press against your abdominal organs in order to make room for your expanding lungs to fill with air.

Whether you prefer poetic license or actual anatomy, the results are the same. There’s no doubt about it—deep “belly breathing” is a powerful tonic for your whole system and a great way to prepare for sleep.

Many of us spend a lot of the day taking short, shallow “chest” breaths that are not only a result of stress, they increase stress. How’s that for a double whammy? A pattern of tense, shallow breathing over time, caused by chronic stress and anxiety, deprives the body of oxygen, compromises the immune system, and taxes the nervous system.

Making a conscious switch to belly breathing is a great technique for literally slowing down your heart rate and sending a signal to your nervous system that it is time to unwind. Belly breathing also encourages full oxygen exchange—the healthy trade of incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide—and can help to lower or stabilize blood pressure.

Belly breathing is simple. Here’s what you do: Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Place your palms flat on your belly, just below your navel. Begin to inhale slowly and deeply, and allow your belly to gently rise up into your hands. As you slowly release your exhale, allow your belly to soften back toward the floor.

For an extra calming effect, see if you can make your exhales a little longer than your inhales by silently counting the length of your breath. For example, if you inhale for four counts, see if you can exhale for five or six counts, or longer. Find a rhythm that is comfortable for you.

CLEAN SLEEP

Yes, you should launder your sheets and bedding with some regularity, but this isn’t a book about how to not be a slob and how to get dates!

Sleep hygiene refers to the routines you create around sleep (to support it) and the things you do and don’t do to protect it. Healthily thin people know this intuitively. As much as possible, they do the following things, and you should too:

Do:

• Go to bed and get up at the same time each day.

• Establish a bedtime routine, such as a warm bath, reading, and a few yoga poses before lights out.

• Keep the temperature in your bedroom comfortable, or a little cool.

• Keep your feet warm. Wear socks if need be.

• Use comfortable bedding.

• Ensure that your bedroom is quiet and dark at night.

• Use your bed only for sleep and sex. No emailing, checking Facebook, tweeting from under the covers!

• Practice relaxation techniques, such as belly breathing.

• Dab lavender oil on your wrists or your pillow.

• Drink a calming herbal tea, such as chamomile, in the evening.

Don’t:

• Exercise or engage in stimulating activities just before bed. (Do exercise, though, just earlier in the day!)

• Watch TV or use electronic devices in bed.

• Nap for more than forty-five minutes in the daytime, or after 3 P.M.

• Go to bed too hungry or too full.

• Drink too much water before bed.

• Drink alcohol or caffeine within four hours of going to bed.

• Eat heavy, spicy, or sugary foods within four hours of going to bed.

• Use the bed as an office, workroom, or recreation room.

HABIT HOMEWORK

Improve Your Sleep Hygiene

With the sleep hygiene do and don’t lists from above in hand, look around your bedroom and consider making some changes:

• If you have a television in your room and have another place for it in your home, try moving it for just a week to start. Doing this will force a different routine for you at night—and that might be a very good thing.

• Do you use your phone as an alarm clock? If so, change your settings to no ring tone/no vibrate for incoming emails, texts, and notifications at night.

• Make sure that you have decent shades/window coverings so that your room doesn’t get a glow from streetlights or passing headlights.

Try to Meditate

Remember that we’re not talking about becoming a meditation master here. You don’t have to sit cross-legged for an hour at a time to get the benefits of this ancient practice. Think small. Try meditating for the time it takes to get to your stop on the bus or subway. If you’re someone who worries about losing track of time, don’t: set your phone or watch alarm to interrupt your meditation after a short period of time. You can then give yourself over to the meditation and not worry about being late for what’s next on your schedule.

YOUR PILLOW, YOUR MATTRESS, YOUR DREAMS

We all have our favorite sleeping positions, but our position of choice is more likely to be a result of unconscious habit than good sleep hygiene. It also might have something to do with how old and saggy your mattress is! Do yourself a favor and invest in a decent one—any money you spend will pay off in better zzz’s!

Let’s review what the experts say about how we can best position ourselves to increase our chances of drifting off to the Land of Nod.

First Choice: Sleeping on Your Back

Sleeping on your back comes in as the number one choice for a good night’s rest. Back sleeping allows for a neutral position of your head and spine, so it is considered to be a good position for preventing neck and back pain. It can also help reduce acid reflux if your head is slightly elevated and your stomach is below your esophagus. But snorers beware! Sleeping on your back can exacerbate snoring and sleep apnea problems.

Second Choice: Sleeping on Your Side

If sleeping on your back doesn’t work for you, try sleeping on your side. Side sleeping comes in as a close second and can provide a good position for your neck and back if you use sufficient pillow support. The pillow under your head needs to be thick enough to support your head and neck in a neutral position. You can also place a pillow between your knees and a rolled towel under your waist to support your pelvis, if you have back issues. Side sleeping can also help reduce snoring and is the position of choice during pregnancy.

To Avoid: The Fetal Position

Although curling up in the fetal position after a long day can definitely feel gratifying in the short term, consider the effects it has on your body and your sleep patterns. Spending the night with your knees pulled up high and your chin tucked into your chest will aggravate back and neck issues and can make you feel achy in the morning, especially if you suffer from arthritis. This position also compresses the belly and restricts your breathing. If you find yourself curled up, try straightening out your spine a bit and supporting your head, and see if you notice the difference.

Worst Offender: Sleeping on Your Stomach

Sleeping on your stomach is the least desirable position for a good night’s sleep. It is difficult to maintain a neutral position for your head and your spine when you are sleeping on your front. If you are a front sleeper, you most likely have your head turned to one side for hours at a time, and this can lead to neck issues and back tension. You also probably sleep with one or both of your arms underneath you, which can cause sore shoulders and numbness and tingling in your arms. The one thing that sleeping on your stomach can help is snoring! So, snorers, if you do not have any back and neck issues, feel free to try it. Just make sure you use a thin pillow, or no pillow at all, to minimize the pressure on your neck and back.

Try Belly Breathing

How can you not try this? It’s so easy and it’s so relaxing. Try it tonight when you get in bed.

Learn a Little Yoga

Here are the six poses you need to try. Some of these will probably look to you like good old-fashioned stretching—I’m not asking you to tie yourself up in knots or stand on your head!

You can do these any time of the day, but you’ll find them most effective…at bedtime!

1. Legs Up the Wall Pose/Viparita Karani

Clear some wall/floor space in your house. (It’s worth it, I promise!) Lie down on the floor, curled up on one side in the fetal position, with your bottom close to the wall. Roll slowly onto your back and straighten your legs up the wall. If it is difficult for you to straighten your legs comfortably, wriggle back a little so your butt isn’t flush to the wall, or put a folded blanket or cushion under your butt to elevate your hips. Rest an eye pillow or small towel on your eyes, and gently deepen your breath. Stay for five to fifteen minutes. When you are ready to come out, draw your knees down to your chest and roll slowly onto one side.

Alternate: If having your legs up the wall is not comfortable, or if the wall space isn’t happening, you can lie on your back on the floor and rest your calves on the seat of a chair, with your hips and knees at a right angle.

2. Child’s Pose/Balasana

Kneel on the floor with your big toes touching and sit on your heels. Separate your knees to about hip width apart, or a little wider, and fold forward so that your torso is resting in between your thighs and your forehead is resting on the floor. Relax your arms in a comfortable position, either in front of you or at your sides. With each inhalation, allow the back of your torso to gently expand. With each exhalation, allow your forehead and pelvis to feel a little heavier. If you are uncomfortable, try placing a folded blanket or cushion under your forehead to elevate your head. Stay for several deep breaths.

3. Reclining Knee to Chest/Apanasana

Lie down on the floor (or in bed) and hug both of your knees into your chest. Hold your right knee with both hands and extend your left leg straight along the floor. Hold the position for three to five deep breaths and observe your body sensations. Switch sides.

4. Reclining Twist/Supta Matsyendrasana

Lie down on the floor (or in bed) and hug both of your knees into your chest. Stretch out your arms to each side, resting them on the floor at the level of your shoulders. Slowly lower your bent knees all the way over to the left, and turn your head to the right. Allow your right shoulder to melt down toward the floor. Let your inhalations gently expand your ribs, and let your exhalations relax you into the twist. If your back needs support, place a pillow between your knees. If you want more stretch, place your left hand on top of your right thigh to add a little weight. Stay in the position for at least three to five breaths and observe your body sensations. Switch sides.

5. Reclining Butterfly Pose/Supta Baddha Konasana

Lie down on the floor (or in bed) with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Place your feet together and allow your knees to gently drop open, with the soles of your feet touching each other. If it is difficult for you to relax your inner thighs in this position, place a pillow under each thigh so that your legs are fully supported. Rest an eye pillow or small towel on your eyes, and place your palms on your belly, just below your navel. Deepen your breath and focus on allowing your belly to gently rise up into your hands as you inhale, and soften back toward the floor as you exhale. Stay for one to five minutes.

6. Final Relaxation Pose/Corpse Pose/Savasana

In this final relaxation pose, it is time to seriously flex your “letting go” muscle. The ancient yogis called this the most advanced yoga pose of all, as it requires complete surrender on every level. I call it the burpee of your relaxation!

Lie flat on your back on the floor (or in bed) with your limbs in a relaxed, symmetrical position. You can place a pillow under your head and/or a pillow under your knees, if that makes you more comfortable. Start to gradually relax all of your muscles, from your feet all the way up to your head. As you sense the physical tension draining out of your body, notice the back of your body becoming heavier and heavier. Let your face feel soft. Let your breath be natural. Let your thoughts come and go, like clouds floating across the sky. Remember, you are practicing letting go on every level. And, like anything else that’s good for us, it does take practice! Stay for at least three minutes, or for as long as you like.