By the time I saw a familiar shadow turn into Kyle’s body walking toward me, I was exhausted, hungry, and confused. Tamia was still not waking up and there had been no changes. I’d tried to get Tasha and my parents on the phone but there was still no answer. I was able to get her father to calm down and after sharing just about every story about Tamia he could remember, nothing but silence sat between us.
I couldn’t help but stand and smile when Kyle came rushing toward me. He was smiling enough to remind me that the sun was still shining outside the hospital.
“I came straight here,” he said, dropping his suitcase and pulling me into his arms.
“Thank you,” I said. I turned to Judge Dinkins. “This is my friend Kyle.” I pointed to Kyle. “Kyle, this is Tamia’s father, Judge Dinkins.”
They shook hands and Kyle sat down to talk to him, offering comfort. I watched as Judge Dinkins smiled and breathed a bit easier in Kyle’s presence. He walked into the room with Kyle and said a delicate prayer over Tamia’s body. I couldn’t have been more proud, more touched by how personally Kyle was taking things. He wasn’t there for me. He was there for my friend, for her father, doing what he loved.
“You two need to get out of here,” Judge Dinkins said as we walked out of the room to talk. “Troy, you’ve done more than I could have asked you. You’ve been here all day and you should go get something to eat. Get some rest. I’m here now.”
“But I want to help,” I replied.
“There’s nothing we can do right now but wait,” Kyle said. “The doctors are doing all they can. We just have to wait and be here…and healthy when Tamia wakes up.” He pinched my cheek.
“Exactly,” Judge Dinkins said. “I’ll call you if there’s a change. You’ll be the first person I call. I promise.”
I peeked into the room at Tamia and then looked back at Kyle and her father. They were right. My mind needed to be revived. I didn’t want to leave but if I was going to help my friend recover, I needed to recover too.
“Okay,” I said, hugging Judge Dinkins. “I’ll be right at the hotel. Please call me if anything happens, if she moves her toe…anything.” After he promised me three more times, I said goodbye to Tamia and left the hospital with Kyle by my side. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I had someone by my side.
Kyle and I went to the hotel so I could freshen up and get some of Tamia’s things together to bring to the hospital. I asked if there were any messages from Tasha at the front desk, but there was still nothing. I hoped that she was so mad that she’d hopped on a plane and went home to Lionel. I couldn’t stand the idea of her walking around in the streets alone.
After showering and changing my clothes so we could go get something to eat, I stood in front of the bathroom sink alone, thinking about Kyle. While my mind was certainly with Tamia in the hospital, in some way my heart was happy I was with Kyle.
“Are you beginning to like Kyle?” I asked my reflection aloud. Could I like Kyle? He was a good guy. A great guy. He was handsome, smart, and funny. Plus, he had principles—more principles than anyone I’d ever known. He was what Grandma Lucy called a pearl deep in an ocean waiting to be discovered.
Just then I felt that funny feeling deep in my stomach…the same feeling I felt in grade school when my all-time biggest crush, Eric Roberson, kissed me underneath the slide on the playground. It was warm and tickly, almost like butterflies were being released in my stomach, but I wasn’t nervous about a thing. I was happy.
Yeah, I could like Kyle, I thought, putting on my lip gloss. Even with the church thing, I could like Kyle. Even with the no-sex thing, I could like Kyle. I stashed the gloss back in my purse and looked at myself again.
What the hell are you thinking about, Troy? I couldn’t like Kyle—I was still in love with Julian. “No, no,” I said, pointing at myself. There was no way I was going to allow Kyle to get mixed up in the thing with me and Julian. I didn’t want to hurt Kyle. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
“You ready in there?” Kyle called from the living room. “I’m getting hungry.”
“Yes,” I said, walking out of the bathroom. “I just want to call Tamia’s father again to see if anything has happened. Then we can go.”
“Great,” Kyle said. He stood up when I walked into the room and kissed me on the cheek. “How are you, Troy? I know this is a lot for you.”
“I’m fine. I just can’t believe all this.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I never imagined any of this would happen…in L.A. of all places. Tamia’s in the hospital, Tasha’s gone…I’m just glad you came.”
“Your eyes are puffy,” Kyle said, gently touching my cheeks with his hand.
“You know, for one moment sitting in that bathroom with Tamia, I thought she was dead. I really thought she had died. I felt so empty inside. I couldn’t do anything about it but just pray.”
“It’s moments like this that show us just how connected to our faith we are,” Kyle said.
“I guess you’re right. I just felt so alone, like I’d never make it through.”
“Well, that’s why I’m here, Angel—to make sure you get through this.” He playfully tapped me on the nose.
“Ha, ha. So how are we supposed to do that?” I asked, sounding a bit more flirtatious than I wanted to.
“I don’t know, Troy,” Kyle answered me, grinning. “I just had the idea. I was hoping you’d have the plan.”
“I don’t care what you say, this shirt looks completely ridiculous on me.” Kyle looked at himself in the dressing room at a store we’d stopped at. After I checked in on Tamia, we’d gotten something to eat and ended up walking around aimlessly in Los Angeles. While I felt a little guilty about shopping during such an odd time, Tamia’s father said the doctors told him her vitals were getting better and that she’d be coming around very, very soon.
“Kyle, you look amazing.” I stood behind Kyle in the mirror. “Your body was made for Versace.”
“Troy, I look like a mob boss or something,” Kyle said, pulling at the silk shirt. “I look like a fake thug.” He popped up his collar.
“Um, no. That’s even worse,” I said, laughing. “Just look cool and collected. Just relax. Versace is for strong men—men who know who they are and what they want.”
“Oh, that’s me.” Kyle flexed his muscles.
“Yeah, so wear the shirt. Don’t let it wear you.” I closed the last button on the shirt and looked back at his reflection. “Perfect. Now this shirt is all you. You have to buy it.”
“Are they paying you, Troy?” Kyle joked. “Because you sound like you have stock invested in this place.”
“Stop playing, Kyle.”
“Okay, how much is it?” he asked. I looked at the tag and didn’t bother to say aloud what I read. I just held up two fingers. “Twenty?” Kyle asked. Versace at $20? In my dreams. I rolled my eyes. “What? What is it? Two hundred?” I shook my head from side to side. “Two thousand?” I nodded my head. “You know I’m not paying two thousand dollars for this shirt, right?”
“Kind of steep?” I frowned.
“Steep? That’s off the charts. That’s insane. I know you don’t pay that much for those clothes you wear. I know you don’t.” He paused. I nodded.
“Almost,” I murmured. “I have to look good.”
“Oh, no. Oh, no.” He started taking the shirt off. “Please put this thing far away from me. I don’t even want anyone to think I’m paying that kind of money for a shirt.” Kyle pulled the shirt over his head like there was a bug in it. He threw it on a rack and pulled my hand. “Let’s go,” he said, dragging me out of the store.
“It wasn’t that bad.” I stepped out of the store behind Kyle, laughing. Everyone was watching us. A security guard came out of the store. “He thinks we stole something,” I whispered in Kyle’s ear.
“Well, that’s the only way I’m getting anything out of there.” We both started laughing and Kyle grabbed my arm.
“First trying on Versace, now you’re talking about stealing,” I said teasingly. “I’m going to have to report you to the Pastors Commission or something.”
“Make sure you add this, too.” Kyle stopped walking suddenly.
“What?”
“This.” He bent down and kissed me on my lips.
“Kyle,” I said softly. I felt heat growing in my heart and my knees felt weak beneath me. I wanted him to do it again.
“I’m sorry.” Kyle massaged both of my arms with his hands. “It’s just that…”
“What?” I said, trying not to jump on Kyle.
“This is a beautiful city, it’s such a beautiful day, and I’m with a beautiful woman.” He let me go. He looked into my eyes. “I hope it’s okay.”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I managed. We stood there for a second looking into each other’s eyes. “Ice cream?” I said, looking at an ice cream parlor on the other side of the street.
“Yeah. What do you have in mind?” he asked.
“Rocky Road.” I pointed across the street.
“My favorite.”
“That’s mine too.” I crossed the street in front of him. “Not many people like it like I do. I have been known to eat it for dinner.”
“Dinner?” He laughed.
“Yep.”
“Oh no, in the South, Rocky Road is not a meal option. You need some hog mog, collard greens, pig feet, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes—”
“Dang, you eat all of that?” I broke in.
“You know I do. And I can cook it, too.”
“Oh, a man that can cook,” I said, winking.
“Oh, Kyle Hall is no stranger to the kitchen. My nana made sure of that.” Kyle opened the door to the ice cream parlor for me. “Can you burn?”
“Depends on what you mean by burn.” I stepped inside. “I can burn food. In fact, I think I’ve burned just about everything I’ve cooked.” I smiled.
“Well, I guess we’re just going to have to change that. I can teach you a few things. But it’ll cost you.”
“Cost me?” I asked.
“Yeah, you’ll have to buy the groceries—especially if you’re going to burn them. Church money don’t grow on trees.”
Halfway through ice cream, Judge Dinkins called and said that Tamia had finally woken up. She was still a little out of it, but she was doing just fine. He said the visiting hours were over and that we should come to the hospital first thing in the morning. I thanked him for calling and told him to kiss her for me and tell her that Ms. Lovesong was waiting to see her. My body settled a little and somehow the ice cream tasted that much sweeter as I licked my cone. Things, as Kyle had promised me, were getting better.
“One down, one to go,” Kyle said, happy to hear Tamia was okay. “We just had to be patient.”
After hearing the good news we decided to take a short walk before we headed back to the hotel. I was even beginning to feel better about what had happened earlier between Tasha and me. Strolling from window to window, Kyle told me a story his grandfather used to tell him when he was child. It was about an old man who was losing his sight.
Kyle said one day the man went to see the town’s healer to see if she could heal him. The old woman gave him some dried herbs and told him to rub them on his eyes each night before bed for five nights in a row. She told him on the first day when he woke up, he’d have some slight burning, and on the second day he’d be able to see everything, then he’d lose his vision totally on the third day and it would return as clear as it was when he was a boy of five on the fourth day. Then she warned the old man to continue using the herbs on the fifth night even though he could see fine on the fourth. She told him that after the fifth day, he’d lose his sight for ten days and then regain it for good on the eleventh.
The man said thank you and left the healer’s house. Then, Kyle said, twenty days later the man returned to the healer. He was walking with a cane and he was totally blind. “What did you do to me, old woman? Your herbs didn’t help me. I could still see when I came here, and now I’m totally blind. Your herbs made me blind.” Without moving from her chair, the old woman asked him if he’d used the herbs each night for five days straight. The man said he’d used it the first night and it burned so bad he hadn’t used it the second night. Then he told her he’d used it the third night and gained his sight by morning. As she’d promised, by the fourth morning he was using it, and his vision was as clear as it was when he was five. Then he said he decided he didn’t want to use it the fifth day, because he didn’t want to lose his vision for ten days. He had to work in the fields. “I could see for nineteen days, and this morning I woke up and I couldn’t see. What can I do?” he asked. “Nothing,” the old woman said. “Nothing can be done. You didn’t respect the herbs. They will heal you, but only on their time. Not yours.”
After Kyle finished telling the story, he explained that he’d memorized it when he was a little boy and thought of it whenever he was wrestling with something in his mind.
“The point is seeing things through, Troy,” Kyle said. “Whenever you start a journey, you have to see things through. The good and the bad. There will be days when you can’t see, days when your eyes burn, and days when things appear so bright you feel like you’re five years old. But you have to see it through and remember why you started your journey in the first place—why you took the first step,” he added. “The reason I’m telling you this story is that you have to remember why you wanted your friend to see her mother and start from there. Forget about what happened today. You’re not a bad person because your friend had a fight with her mother. You had no way of seeing that coming. Your intentions were good and that’s all that matters. Now all you have to do is figure out how you can make things better. Don’t just give up and walk away because you had a bad day”—he smiled at me and pinched my cheek—“or the herbs will get you.”
Kyle and I returned to the hotel and even though I insisted he stay with me and sleep in the extra room, he got a room of his own for the night. He came up to my room with me to talk and sat in the living room to pray as I went to change into something comfortable.
I peeked through the doors to watch him as I slipped on an old sweat suit I’d packed. Kyle looked so peaceful sitting in the living room on the floor, with the Bible resting in his hands. Watching his lips move as he focused on each word, I imagined he’d read every one of those words before, but he read them with so much love, it looked like they were still new to him.
I still couldn’t believe he’d come all the way here from New York just to see me. Just to help me. I tried to explain to myself that he was just worried, but there had to be more. I would’ve been lying to myself if I didn’t at least admit that. The truth was that I knew Kyle really liked me and I also knew I’d have to find some way to deal with that, but at the moment I was busy enjoying the view.
Kyle actually managed to make prayer look sexy. I probably shouldn’t have been watching him—that had to be some kind of sin…coveting thy preacher or something. But, damn, he looked good in that kind of Denzel meditating in Mo’ Better Blues kind of way. Denzel’s fine ass was sitting there meditating as the sun came up. He looked like an African king. Made me just want to tame him.
“You done watching me?” Kyle asked. He looked up from his Bible and smiled at me behind him in the room. I didn’t realize how obvious I was.
“Sure,” I said, embarrassed. Suddenly I wished the fire alarm in the building would go off or something.
“So are you feeling better?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Well, that’s good,” Kyle said, sitting on the couch. “So tell me about your friends. What are they like?”
“Well, Tamia is the smart and silly one.” I sat down next to him. “She’s just full of life. Always wants to get something more. Always working hard. And I guess you could say Tasha is the fiery one. She’s the one who will burn you up if you don’t act right. She’s really strong, but sometimes I don’t think she knows it.”
“They sound like fun,” he said.
“Oh, they’re both a bag of fun. My friends specialize in nonstop excitement.”
“I think that’s good,” Kyle said, “you know, to have such well-rounded friends. Who wants to hang around a bunch of stiff people all day?”
“That’s what I say.” I sat back on the couch. “I mean, Tamia is one of the smartest, most sensible people I know, but she knows how to party.” We both laughed. “You know, it’s really cool, Kyle,” I said, “that you can just hang with me and not be all sanctified and stuff…that you don’t pass judgment on me. I was honestly worried about that when I met you—that you’d judge everything I did.”
“Oh, don’t get confused. I pray for you sinners all the time,” Kyle said jokingly. “No seriously, I respect the fact that you’re a real person. You’re human and so am I. I can’t judge anything you do. I can only pray you make the right decisions. Judgment is something I dislike about a lot of saved people. We get saved and act like we forgot about what it was like beforehand, like we never sinned at all. And that’s just a lie. I would be lying if I said I haven’t had my times. I went to a black college just like you.” I laughed. “Besides, I couldn’t judge you, Troy. You’re not like Mary of Magdalene or anything.”
“How do you know that?” I asked just as there was a knock on the door. I got up assuming it was Tasha.
“I just know. You’re a lot more innocent than you let on.”
“Tasha?” I said, walking toward the door.
I looked through the peephole just as I was about to open the door, and it wasn’t Tasha. Julian and a dozen red roses were staring back at me. “Oh shit,” I said.
“Troy?” Julian and Kyle said at the same time. I looked back at Kyle. What was I going to do?
“Kyle,” I said, “I’ll be right back. I just need a minute.” I cracked the door open and slid out, closing it behind me.
“Hey, baby,” Julian said, opening his arms. “Surprise.”
“Heeeeey,” I said with forced enthusiasm.
“These are for you.” Julian handed me the roses. “I felt so bad after we got off the phone that I decided to make it up to you…and here I am.”
“Yeah…yeah,” I managed. “Here you are. You, you, you.” I playfully nudged him on the shoulder. Suddenly I thought of asking him if we could sit in the hallway—be rustic and spend the night in the hallway…like a really chic camping trip. Then everything would be okay and he wouldn’t have to find out Kyle was in my hotel suite.
“First, I figured I’d wait for you to come back to New York, but then I thought, where’s your sense of romance? This is the woman you love. She needs your support. Show her you love her,” Julian said, taking me into his arms again. “You see, I love you and I want to be with you!” he hollered very loudly.
“Now? Like right now?” I asked. “Like here?”
“Of course, T. I’m here to prove my love to you and ask you to be with—”
The door to the suite opened and Kyle poked his head out.
“You okay?” he asked, looking at Julian and me.
“Kyle?” Julian looked at him, confused, and then looked at me. “Kyle? Your father’s friend?”
“Hey, man,” Kyle said, shaking Julian’s hand.
“Yeah. Kyle, can you go inside while I talk to Julian?” I added, sounding like a customer service representative. “I’ll be right in.” Kyle’s head disappeared and the door closed again.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Julian asked, pointing at the door. “I thought your friend was in the hospital.”
“She is.”
“I come all the way here to see you and you have another man in your hotel? When your friend is supposedly in the fucking hospital? I can’t believe this shit.” I could see a little vein popping out on Julian’s forehead.
“Are you with that man?” Julian asked. “Just tell me now and I’ll leave, Troy. I’ll go away and not come back if you’re with him.”
“No, baby.”
“Well, if you’re not with him, tell him to leave. Tell him to go.” Julian stepped away and took back his flowers. “Tell him to go and I’ll stay.”
I pressed my palm against the door and looked at Julian. Everything I ever wanted was in front of me. The man I loved was standing in front of my hotel room holding a bouquet of flowers. I couldn’t turn him down, no matter what was waiting behind that door. I couldn’t lose Julian again.
“Wait out here,” I said, turning the doorknob. “I’ll be right back.”
Kyle was sitting in the suite exactly where I’d left him. His hands were folded on his lap and he had his eyes closed.
“Mr. Wonderful is back to fix everything,” he said without opening his eyes. I sat down on the couch beside him and placed my hand on top of his. “You want me to leave?” He opened his eyes and looked at me.
I nodded my head yes.
“I’m sorry, Kyle. But he came a long way to see me,” I said gently.
“Yeah, he did. He came a long way.” Kyle got up from the couch. “You know what? This is exactly—” He stopped and picked up his Bible. “Never mind,” he went on. “I won’t let you do that to me. I won’t.” He slipped the Bible into his travel bag. “Goodbye, Troy,” he said, walking out. “Goodbye.”