AS ALWAYS, thanks go to a few special people who continue to support all my literary endeavors.

 

Jeannie, my friend and punctuation guru. Thank you for your continued support and dedication. You make this so much easier.

Ann, Jackie, Lyn, and Sharon. Critique partners who are never afraid to tell me when I screw up and who pat me on the head when I need it.

Marita, vid maker extraordinaire. Your talent is inspiring. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Reese Dante. Your attention to detail is legendary and well deserved. Thank you for my beautiful book cover.

Lastly, to the wonderful people at Dreamspinner Press who are always there when you need them. Thank you!

 

 

 

“THIS IS like a slice of heaven, isn’t it?” Lil exclaimed, savoring the piece of strawberry cheesecake he’d just forked into his mouth. When he got no reply, he made a 180-degree turn to find Jody or Clark but realized that somehow they’d gotten separated again. Not surprising considering the amount of people who’d been crowding the Eli’s Cheesecake booth.

It had been like that most of the day, finding and losing each other in the crush of tourists and locals braving the heat and the lines at the annual Taste of Chicago. When Jody had suggested they attend, he’d warned Lil of the inconveniences, but also extolled the virtues of taking part in this annual Chicago tradition. Once a year, at the height of summer, thousands of Chicagoans and visitors from neighboring states made the trek to Grant Park for the largest food festival in the Midwest. Hundreds of vendors set up kiosks offering up a gastronomical overload of local specialties as well as the more exotic foods introduced by the diverse population of citizens who comprised the City of Chicago. It was a perfect opportunity to have a small or full-sized portion, depending on the appetite and the budget, as one traversed the endless aisles of tempting displays. Another great part of the festival, and equally as popular, was the music. Well-known singers and musicians appeared at the Petrillo Music Shell and other stages throughout the park for the entire ten days of the festival.

It was stinking hot, humid, loud, and so crowded it was easy to be carried along by the bodies that surged up and down the corridors like a human tidal wave. Lil had been adventurous, stuffing a wide variety of food into his tall, lanky body, which still retained a boyish quality in spite of his age. He’d had corn on the cob, a slice of pizza, Italian beef smothered in drippy juice, Korean bulgogi, Filipino eggrolls, and had even attempted a barbecued turkey leg, but ended up throwing most of it away in favor of the samosa that grabbed his attention as he passed an East Indian booth. He’d lingered at that location for a while, savoring the vegetable biryani and the chicken curry, enjoying the explosion of flavors as his taste buds were assaulted by the fiery spices.

Jody and Clark had kept up most of the time, but as they weaved in and out of the crowds, they’d lost each other, only to hook up again a few minutes later. Predictably, the couple showed up once more a few tables down.

“Aren’t you full yet?” Clark asked, watching Lil as he nibbled at another sample of chocolate cheesecake.

“I may puke any minute now,” he said, grimacing. “You’d think they’d have a tent for people to upchuck, or have an enema, so we could continue to stuff more food down our throats in a gluttonous loss of self-control.”

Jody reached over and tried to take the small plate away, but Lil protested, pulling his hand back. “Sweetie, stop! Who knows when I’ll get another chance like this?”

“You know you’re welcome to visit us anytime you want.”

“Jodes, the last time I was here, it was like the frozen tundra. I will never step foot in this town during the winter months, unless Clark’s in the Super Bowl, and you guys host.”

“Well, there’s always that possibility.”

“Look at this place,” Lil said, scanning the crowd. Most everyone was in some sort of undress in an effort to beat the sun’s unrelenting rays. Shorts, tanks, bikini tops, Daisy Dukes, and cutoffs were the chosen attire. “It’s hard to believe how cold it gets in the winter when you’re sweltering in this kind of heat.”

“I know,” Jody said, nodding, “another Midwestern delight. If you can’t stand the weather, stick around, ’cause it’ll change in an hour or so.”

“It’s not that unpredictable, is it, Clark?” Lil asked.

“It’s pretty fucked-up,” Clark pronounced. “The weather is the worst part about living here; I love everything else.”

“Well, I would hope so, seeing as how you signed on for another two years.”

“They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” Clark said with a grin. “Money aside, I like playing for the Bears, and Jo-Jo loves his job.”

“Yes, you’re both wallowing in contentment.”

Seeing Jody and his partner, Clark, the hunkiest athlete in the world, so content made Lil believe that love could conquer all. They’d traveled a hellish road to get to this happy place, but it had been worth every traumatic moment; after all they’d endured, the couple continued to be gay icons and poster boys for the power of love.

Lil and Jody had been roommates at Stanford and despite the vast differences in their personalities had become good friends. Jody was a shy and repressed newbie with practically zero experience being a gay man when Lil had first set eyes on him. They were like the odd couple: Jody was serious and driven, keeping a grueling schedule to attain his medical degree; Lil, although equally brilliant in his chosen field of architecture, knew how to have fun while striving for his personal goals. He was flamboyant and unabashedly gay, whereas Jody, although out, wasn’t in your face. They fed off their differences, bringing out the best in each other, and had remained good friends throughout college. Now, almost fifteen years later, they were as close as brothers.

Lil rejoiced in his friend’s happiness, but missed having him around. It hadn’t been quite the same since the couple had left the Bay Area two years ago to move to the Windy City after Clark landed the contract with the Chicago Bears. Lil visited as often as possible, but he was at the height of his career as well, having landed a lucrative deal with a premier builder from the East Bay. A customized Lampert blueprint was in big demand following his awards for excellence in the use of solar energy to heat and cool the mansions that dotted the hills of Danville, California. Lil’s business was thriving, and he didn’t have a lot of time to visit. On the personal front, he was still flying solo, having never found that special someone, and not for lack of trying. Love continued to elude the attractive brunet who’d been highlighting his hair for years, leaving him as blond as a Coppertone ad. It improved his overall appearance. Cornflower blue eyes and a golden tan completed the picture of the thriving Californian who still sparkled with a joie de vivre that hadn’t dimmed one iota, in spite of his age, a reality Lil had bemoaned as he blew out the thirty-seven candles on his birthday cake a few months ago.

“Oh, look, ice cream! Let’s have a cone or something,” Lil cajoled, grabbing Jody’s hand and pulling him along.

“Lil, I can’t possibly eat another thing,” Jody protested.

“Then wait here while I peruse, okay?”

“Sure, babe. Knock yourself out.”

Lil wiggled his way through the crowd, trying to get closer to the booth that was four people deep. Finally, his chest hit the wooden counter. He looked up at the menu and decided on a waffle cone filled with vanilla ice cream, topped with chocolate sauce.

“Can I help you?”

Lil took his eyes off the boards and was about to place his order when he came face to face with the voice and forgot what he was about to say. Standing in front of him was the most gorgeous man in the world, bar none. Holy shit!

“Er… do you serve vanilla?”

“Sure,” the guy said, smiling. The brunet had spiky hair and charcoal eyes, fringed by sooty curling lashes that were so thick they seemed false. His scruffy beard framed a luscious red mouth that practically screamed kiss me. He was wearing a wife-beater stretched tightly across the hard muscles of his impressive chest, but what really caught Lil’s attention was the tattoo that spilled down the man’s right arm, like a sleeve, in brilliant primary colors.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

“Your order?”

“You, anyway I can have it.” The words were out of Lil’s mouth before he could censor them.

The brunet laughed, showing off beautiful, white teeth improving an already perfect face. Lil’s pulse jumped, and his cock surged, definitely awakened by this gorgeous apparition.

“Do you want a cone?”

“Yes, please.” Lil was surprised he could even talk. His mouth felt like the Sahara at noon.

The hunk turned to get the cone and bent down to scoop out the ice cream, giving Lil a premier view of his backside. He was wearing white shorts—the logical choice to show off his tanned and shapely legs, not to mention the rounded ass that made Lil want to lean over the counter and take a bite out of each cheek. His legs were covered with a light layer of dark hair, very appealing to a man who had a thing for bears, or cubs, in this case.

“Here you go.” He passed the cone over to Lil. “Anything else I can get you?”

“I can always use a tour guide,” Lil said, grinning.

“Where are you from?”

“San Francisco.”

“Cool,” the guy exclaimed, “I’ve always wanted to visit.”

“It’s a lovely city. Are you allowed to take a break? I can give you a virtual tour of my town.”

Ice Cream Boy glanced at his watch. “I’m actually due for a thirty-minute break very soon. Where would you like to meet?”

No kidding? NO KIDDING? “Umm, I’m with my friends over there.” Lil pointed at Jody and Clark.

“Isn’t that Stevens?”

“You know football?”

“Everyone in Chicago knows their Bears.”

“I suppose so. Why don’t you meet us over at the picnic area down yonder,” Lil said as he pointed in the general direction of the small grove of trees he’d spotted earlier.

“I can do that.”

“What’s your name?” Lil had to know.

“It’s Grier.”

“That’s different.”

The guy shrugged and rewarded him with another smile. “That’s my name; what’s yours?”

“Lil.”

“Short for Lily?”

“Silly boy,” Lil said, laughing, loving his teasing smile. “It’s short for Lyndon Lyle Lampert, if you must know.”

“Such a mouthful.”

“Indeed,” Lil replied. God, he’s gorgeous!

Lil made his way back to his friends, who’d been observing the mating game.

“Caught a twink?” Jody asked, noting Lil’s enthusiastic smile.

“I don’t think he qualifies as a catch, Jodes. Let’s just consider this a nibble.”

“You may take this Taste of Chicago to a whole new level,” Clark interjected.

“And how is that wrong?”

“Not wrong, Lil. Just be careful,” Clark said. “You know nothing about that guy.”

“And he knows nothing about me,” Lil countered, “yet he’s willing to take his chances and join us for a few minutes.”

“Come on, let’s try and find some shade,” Clark said. His normally golden skin was showing some signs of sunburn after so many hours of exposure. They found a spot underneath a large tree, recently vacated by a family of five who were kind enough to leave them their blanket, thereby saving their place.

Lil threw himself beside his two buddies, who’d stretched out happily. “This is the life,” he said, folding his arms underneath his head. “Who knew you had such gorgeous men in this town?”

“We aim to please,” Jody deadpanned.

“So please aim,” Clark threw out, ducking when Lil tried to cuff him.

“Who said anything about doing the nasty? We’re going to talk.”

Jody glanced at his watch. “I’ll wager that by this time tomorrow you’ll have him in the sack.”

“From your mouth to God’s ear.”

“I don’t know anything about God’s ear. I believe in your supreme powers of seduction,” Jody said with a laugh.

“I don’t know, Jodes. I’m not a young ’un no more.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’re thirty-seven with the body of a twenty-seven-year-old, although you look better now than you did ten years ago. You’ve filled out and don’t look so scrawny.”

“Listen to you.” Lil flipped over onto his stomach and pushed up on his elbows, looking down at his friend. “I’m talking about my state of mind, Jody. I’m not into one-nighters anymore.”

“Since when?”

“Since I realized it’s so pointless. I’m not going to find the man of my dreams by commando dating. Quick in and quick out doesn’t make for the best backdrop to a fairy-tale ending.”

“You still believe in that?” Clark asked seriously. “I thought you were more jaded.”

“After watching your story unfold, it’s hard not to believe in love,” Lil said.

“I’ll cross my fingers for you, Lil. You deserve to find the right guy, although I doubt that Ice Cream Boy is the one.”

Lil broke out in a self-conscious laugh. “He’s absolutely delicious, though.”

“I’ll give him that much,” Clark agreed.

Jody jabbed Clark’s rib cage with a sharp elbow. “Ow. I’m only making a statement, Jo.”

“You were ogling him.”

“Was not!”

“Was too,” Jody teased, “but I’ll give you a pass this time; he’s fucking hot.”

“You guys, shut up. He’s walking this way.”

All three men turned to watch Grier approach. It was like watching an advertisement for body-building supplements. Grier was perfect, as tall as a ramp model, easily six-three, and just as graceful. He smiled at a couple of people he recognized, stopping to chat briefly before breaking away and resuming his walk toward Lil and his friends on the blanket. Grier appeared relaxed and unaffected by the stir he created as men and women followed his progress across the grassy area. Lil couldn’t keep his eyes off him, even though he had serious doubts about asking Grier to join them. He knew nothing about the boy, and yes, he did consider him a boy, although he was probably somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty-two or twenty-four. Nonetheless, he was way too young for Lil, an improbable hookup, and a total waste of time since nothing could come of this.

“Hi there, Lyndon Lyle Lampert,” Grier joked, in a throaty voice, as sexy as his body. He flopped down on the blanket, and every one of Lil’s objections was trumped by the sight of that gorgeous smile.

“Hi, yourself,” Lil echoed. “Let me introduce you to my friends. This is Jody Williams, and of course, his famous partner, Clark Stevens.”

“Hey,” Grier said, nodding, “nice to meet you. I’m a big fan, Clark.”

“You like football?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Grier asked.

“Not everyone,” Jody grumbled. “There are some of us who are more cerebral.”

Clark kissed him quickly on the mouth. “You’re just jealous ’cause it takes me away from you.”

“Duh… it’s rather difficult to compete with a national pastime.”

“Are you feeling deprived, Jo-Jo?” Clark teased lovingly.

“I can honestly say that I’m not deprived in the least bit.”

“I should hope not,” Clark parried, “especially after this morning.”

“Okay, guys,” Lil interjected. “If you’re going to share, let’s hear the salacious details.”

Jody covered Clark’s mouth. “Not another word.”

Grier observed the easy exchange between the famous couple then turned to Lil, who was staring at him blatantly. “Do you like football?”

“Honey, I love football for all the right reasons, and some of the wrong ones.”

“Let me guess.” Grier lifted his hand and ticked off an imaginary list. “One: tight pants. Two: tighter tops. And three: luscious biceps.”

“Stop.” Lil laughed. “I really do like the sport, and the hunks are just a bonus.”

“You enjoy football, or you’re just saying that to appease Clark?” Grier appeared genuinely surprised that Lil was interested in sports.

“He not only likes it, he can rattle off stats like any sportscaster,” Clark boasted, supporting Lil’s statement.

“How unusual.”

“Some of us Nellys do enjoy manly things, you know.”

“Who’s calling you a Nelly?”

“Isn’t that what you’re implying?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“Is that so?”

Grier’s eyes traveled up and down Lil’s body with interest, and the blond returned the bold look with an equally heated gaze. In fact, their chemistry was so powerful, it affected Jody, who was watching the whole scene play out. He stood immediately, hauling Clark off the blanket.

“Where are we going?” Clark’s aquamarine eyes rounded in surprise.

“I have this craving for a funnel cake,” Jody threw out.

“You hate sweets,” Clark argued.

“Not anymore.” Jody glared and inclined his head in the direction of the seated men who hadn’t taken their eyes off each other.

“Oh, right.”

“We’ll be back in about thirty minutes,” Jody said.

“Take your time,” Lil muttered.

“Thanks for sharing your blanket,” Grier said, smoothing out the area that Clark and Jody had vacated.

“It’s not ours,” Lil replied. “We’re squatting.”

Grier grinned. “Well, thanks for letting me squat with you. Any kind of shade around here is a blessing.”

“Do you own the ice cream you’re peddling?”

“Hell no,” Grier laughed. “I’m helping out a friend.”

“Is he a friend with privileges?” Lil asked.

“No,” Grier smiled. “Jake and I went to school together. We’re practically brothers.”

“Have you volunteered for the entire ten days?”

“As many of them as I can. I do have to earn a living, and he understands that, but fortunately, I’m on call this week, so there’s leeway.”

“What do you do?”

“It’s a shit job.”

“What is it?”

“I move furniture.”

“Is this an interim thing? Are you in college?”

“Let’s not talk about me, okay? How long are you going to be in town?”

“I just got here yesterday, so another six days.”

“What do you do in the real world?”

“I’m an architect.”

Grier whistled. “Well, you’ve come to the right city. Have you ever taken the architectural boat tour?”

“No, what is it?”

“It’s a leisurely boat ride up and down the Chicago River and a great way to see the architectural landmarks. I’m surprised your friends haven’t suggested it.”

“The last time I was here it was snowing; I’m assuming the boat tour wasn’t an option then.”

“You really should go, considering what you do. Why don’t we go tomorrow?”

“We?”

“Sure, if you’d like my company?”

I’d love it. “That would be very nice.”

“Good, that’s settled,” Grier pronounced. “Tell me about Jody. Is he always so serious?”

“He’s a trauma doctor, so yeah, a bit more intense than either Clark or me,” Lil explained, “but he’s a great guy, and he does have a good sense of humor once you get past that solemn exterior.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I thought he didn’t like me.”

“Sweetie,” Lil replied, touching Grier’s arm tentatively. “What’s not to like?”

Grier responded with a thousand-watt smile that melted Lil’s resolve to be cautious and not jump in feet-first. Every single vibe he was getting was positive, and he decided to trust his instincts, which were usually pretty reliable.

“Jody’s the one, isn’t he?”

“The one?”

“You know―the dramatic news broadcast.”

“Yes.”

“That must have been difficult on everyone.”

“You don’t know the half of it, hon.”

“I think it’s romantic as fuck.”

“You and a million other gay men.”

“And not so gay. I have straight friends who idolize Clark for being so forthcoming.”

“Well, it was a struggle, believe me.”

“But so worth it, right?”

“Now I’m the one making a judgment,” Lil said. “I would have never guessed that you’re such a romantic.”

“’Cause I look like an inked-up badass?”

“Let’s not forget the three studs in your left ear. What are they?”

“Onyx.”

“At least you’re a badass with good taste,” Lil joked.

“I happen to have very good taste,” Grier said. “And I think body art is beautiful if it’s done right.”

“Your sleeve is unusual.” Lil reached out and traced the design with a gentle hand. “I love the colors; the blues and reds are so vibrant, and these stars that trail off like this.” Lil’s hand moved past Grier’s arm to rest lightly on Grier’s chest, just where the last of the blue stars disappeared into his wife-beater. “Are there more?” Touching Grier’s body, however innocently, had sparked the desire that had been lying dormant underneath the pretext of friendly conversation. Time stood still as they searched each other’s eyes for some hint of what was happening. Grier held Lil’s hand against his heart, and he felt it thumping wildly.

“There are a few more stars in strategic places,” Grier whispered.

Oh, God. “I’ll keep an open mind about tattoos from now on.”

Grier took a ragged breath and pulled away reluctantly. “Listen, I’ve got to get back.”

“I understand. How do we get together for the boat tour?”

“Meet me at the dock tomorrow at around eleven. You can get all the info on the City of Chicago website. We’ll have lunch afterward.”

“Sounds good.”

“Lil?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not a Nelly,” Grier said, alighting on Lil’s mouth like a hummingbird, dipping in for a sugary kiss. Lil opened to the surprisingly gentle touch and sighed when he felt Grier’s tongue tracing his lips.

“Tomorrow?” Grier confirmed.

Lil was blindsided by the kiss and struggled to find his voice. “Yes.”

Lil watched him walk away, studying Grier’s backside, which was just as amazing as his front. His torso was the classic V-shaped testament to hours of lifting weights, and now that he knew what the kid did on the side, he supposed his physique was due in large part to his job. Grier had never answered the question as to whether or not he was in college, but Lil hoped to learn more about the young man on their outing tomorrow, if he even showed up. The probability was low, considering they hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers, but there was something about Grier that led him to believe he’d be there. Lil hoped he’d have the opportunity to find out if his instincts were correct or not. Although Grier was certainly easy on the eyes, it would be great if he had a little more substance behind that beautiful façade. Lil observed him glance at his watch, and pick up his stride, almost as if he was going to be docked for being late, which was hard to comprehend, given what he’d been told. He was volunteering his time and surely entitled to be a few minutes late.

 

GRIER WAS not as concerned about being late as he was about being interrogated. He knew his family would be showing up very soon and the last thing he wanted to listen to were negative comments ruining his impulsive, but otherwise perfect hookup. He’d surprised himself by offering to play tour guide tomorrow, but when Lil mentioned his career, it seemed like a logical suggestion. Grier hoped that the excursion would give him an opportunity to learn more about the architect who’d made quite an impression. He wasn’t in the habit of picking up strangers, let alone kissing them in public, but there was chemistry between them that was more powerful than all the warning voices in his head.

By the time he rounded the corner and approached the ice cream booth, the entire cast of players had arrived. His father, Santino, brother, Ali, and best friend, Jake, along with Jake’s dad, Vicente, were handing out the frozen delights as fast as they could scoop them.

“Hey, where have you been?” his dad asked.

“Sorry, I lost track of time.”

Santino nodded, and Grier took his place beside the others and got to work. Each year during the Taste of Chicago, the Dilorios offered their friends the Garcias a helping hand, manning the Vinita Ice Cream booth. It was a grueling schedule—ten days of hard work. But the payoff was always huge, and it had become a tradition between the two families. Santino Dilorio and Vicente “Enteng” Garcia had been neighbors for at least twenty years, almost as long as Grier had been alive. The Garcia twins, Jake and Jillian, went to the same school as the Dilorio brothers, and it was a natural progression from neighbors to good friends.

Children were the common denominator, and both families were dedicated to providing the best for their kids. Life revolved around school activities, and because Nita Garcia worked as a registered nurse while Meredith Dilorio stayed at home, responsibilities for day care had been shared, and the twins had spent many after-school hours over at Ali and Grier’s house waiting for one of their parents to come home. On Nita’s off days, she had watched the kids to give Meredith some time to pursue her own activities without being hampered by two little boys who were only eleven months apart and could have very well been twins themselves.

The Garcias were originally from the Philippines and brought with them many of the values and traditions of their homeland, along with the wonderful recipes they happily shared with their neighbors. The Dilorios soon found themselves craving many of the exotic treats that came out of Enteng Garcia’s kitchen. He was a chef by day and did all the cooking for the family, which Nita accepted gratefully since she was usually exhausted by the time she got home. She barely had enough energy for her children after an eight-hour shift in the ICU at Alexian Brothers Medical Center.

Around the time the kids were in middle school, Enteng decided to open the ice cream parlor, inspired to become self-employed by Santino Dilorio, who owned a small fleet of trucks and was an independent contractor for Mayflower. Years of experimenting with recipes, combining local and imported ingredients, finally paid off: tubs of mango, ube, and coconut ice cream sat alongside the more common vanilla and chocolate, usually served in homemade waffle cones. They named their business Vinita, a blending of the names Vicente and Nita, and because it was located in a strip mall close to the high school, it became a favorite stomping ground for the neighborhood kids and a huge success. When the Dilorio boys and the Garcia twins were old enough to have part-time jobs, it was scooping ice cream at Vinita.

“Where have you been?” Ali asked, as soon as Santino stepped away for a moment.

“Taking a break.”

“With Clark Stevens and his band of queers?”

“What, you’ve got people spying on me now?”

“Sorry, Grier,” Jake apologized. “I happened to mention that you were with Clark.”

“And what if I was, Ali? Who gives a shit?”

“You know damn well that Clark Stevens is an acknowledged homo, and anyone associated with him is automatically labeled.”

“I am a homo,” Grier spat out. “And the sooner you and Dad accept it the better off we’ll be. I’m sick of this fucking charade.”

“He can’t deal with any more grief right now.”

“It’s not the end of the world, Ali. It’s just my life.”

Ali, short for Alissio, had made it his business to protect his father after dealing with the fallout when Grier had announced he was gay. Santino Dilorio, a normally pleasant man, transformed into an apoplectic tyrant after Grier had been caught with Johnny Callahan on his knees in front of him. Grier had been sure his father would have a heart attack when the school principal explained the circumstances surrounding his weeklong suspension. Grier had listened to his father ranting for days. Santino was old school Italian, staunchly Catholic, and a firm believer that homosexuality was wrong on every level. Never mind what Meredith and the psychologists had advised. He would not condone behavior that was inherently against Mother Nature.

Santino had maintained that Grier’s interest in the same sex was his mother’s fault for coddling her youngest child and saddling him with her English family’s surname, instead of naming him Giovanni, a good Italian name, after his own father. It was almost a self-fulfilling prophecy to his mind. Anyone named Grier would have to be different, and his youngest son was definitely unique. He was no cookie-cutter child, and this was made apparent when three-year-old Grier insisted on painting his room purple, a tribute to his favorite dinosaur, Barney. It was much easier to blame Meredith than to accept that one of his sons was hardwired wrong. He’d hoped Grier’s interest in the same sex was a passing phase, one he’d outgrow as soon as he reached maturity. He’d been encouraged in this belief when Grier became immersed in weightlifting and football. In Santino’s world, queers didn’t involve themselves in such manly pursuits. They were hairdressers and fashion designers, not body builders with a penchant for ink. Grier’s physical appearance was nowhere near Santino’s image of homosexuals. The very idea that Grier would consider any sort of sexual relationship with another guy was incomprehensible. Talk of homosexuality had been laid to rest along with Meredith, who had died of cancer shortly after Grier’s twenty-fourth birthday last year.

Yet Ali knew better. He was well aware that Grier was, and always would be, interested in the same sex, but he’d made it his mission to keep this knowledge away from Santino, who was still recovering from his wife’s sudden passing. The last thing their father needed was to worry himself sick over Grier and his sexual orientation.

Grier shrugged off the disapproving glances, hoping that Ali would drop his line of questioning. He’d be glad when the Taste was over and everyone resumed their normal schedule. Ali would go back to playing stockbroker, making financial dreams come true for strangers, all the while dressed in expensive suits, and Grier could go about his business, far away from Ali’s watchful eye.

Grier’s path had veered left several years ago, and he was still trying to figure out what to do with his life. Meredith had been a huge support, and her death had left a terrible void. She’d been much more than a mother; she was his friend and understood his needs. When she realized her son was gay, she’d been lovingly tolerant, and always took the time to listen as he shared his hopes and dreams for a career in interior design. He’d had to shelve his dream after he saw the way his father reacted to his misdemeanor in school and knew in his heart that he wouldn’t support Grier’s career choice. Meredith had been working on convincing Santino when the cancer struck out of nowhere.

Grier had always been interested in design and color. He’d been so proud of his artistry after he and Meredith had completed their amethyst paint job, changing the boring white walls of his bedroom into a colorful playground for his toys and stuffed animals. Since then, he had believed that the world would be a better place if it were colored right, but it would take a special person to carry it off. He’d fallen in love with texture and fabric designs, leaning toward the bold and experimental, combining hues that normally didn’t match, but somehow, in his expert hands, they did. Yet all his ambition was curtailed by the need to appease Santino and find a career that was manly enough for his father, a decision that continued to haunt him. He’d learned how to drive the massive eighteen-wheelers to keep the peace, but preferred the mindless job of heavy lifting, the lesser of the two evils as far as he was concerned. He dreamed of walking away from it all, talking about it tentatively while his mother was still alive, but her illness and sudden death had put his dreams on hold.

Maybe tomorrow would bring some insight. Lil appeared quite confident, and Grier was surprisingly comfortable in his presence. There seemed to be a connection that went beyond the physical. It was hard to explain since it was so new, but he was optimistic and encouraged, not to mention wildly attracted to the blond, who made his heart beat just a little faster. And yes, he was aware that the man was at least a dozen years older, confident in his sexuality, and a complete unknown. But the fact that he was good friends with the most famous football couple in Chicago gave him some reassurance that he wasn’t hooking up with a serial killer. If nothing else, they could talk shop.

 

 

LATER THAT evening, when Lil, Jody, and Clark stood with the crowd listening to Michael McDonald belting out “What a Fool Believes,” he noticed Grier with a group of people. There was a white-haired gentleman and a younger man, probably relatives. The family resemblance was easily apparent in their height and facial features, although neither of the men had Grier’s “It” factor. The other members of the party were Asian, and Lil wondered how they were connected. Grier turned and caught Lil’s eye as if he could sense his presence. He winked at him, but made no attempt to leave his group.

Lil continued to observe the group long after Grier looked away. They were too far away to make out any of their conversation, but he could tell that there was an easy camaraderie amongst all of them. His eyes were drawn to the little boy who kept tugging on Grier’s wife-beater, and he watched as Grier bent down, picked up the kid, and sat him on his shoulders so he could see above the crowd. He must have been around five or six years old with a mop of jet-black hair that fell over his forehead in a classic Beatles haircut.

“What are you looking at?” Jody noticed Lil paying more attention to something over on his right than center stage.

“I’m observing my eye candy over yonder.”

Jody followed Lil’s gaze and noticed Grier immediately. “He seems to have his hands full at the moment.”

“I wonder who he’s with.”

“Aren’t you meeting with him tomorrow?”

“Yup.”

“So ask him then, and stop staring at the poor man. You’ll burn a hole into his backside.”

“Which is quite delectable, I might add.”

“Stop gawking, Lil.”

“You’re no fun at all, Dr. Williams.”

“I’m watching out for my best friend. There’s no point in getting excited over something you can’t have.”

“I wasn’t planning on falling in love with the man, just having wild and passionate sex.”

“Where are you meeting him?”

“Wherever the boats depart for the Architectural Tour. Do you know where that is?”

“No, but we’ll look it up. Why don’t you bring him back to the house when it’s over? We’ll have a barbecue.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

The music finally stopped, and the crowd began to break up and head toward the street to make the long trek to the parking lot, or bus stops for public transportation. It was the same sea of people from earlier in the day; Lil and his companions sort of flowed along with the masses.

They came very close to Grier’s group, but he appeared unwilling, or unable, to stop and talk, so Lil gave him a wide berth. He was able to discern facial features, however, and the kid who was still on Grier’s shoulders looked very much like the young woman by Grier’s side, who in turn looked like a female version of the young man bringing up the rear. It all happened in a blink of an eye, much too fast to make any sort of assumption, but Lil was struck by the Asian woman’s beauty. He’d have to ask Grier about her tomorrow.

 

THE SUN was beating down on Lil’s shoulders as they stood in line to get on the boat. It was another scorcher of a day, with high humidity levels, but there was a slight breeze which made it somewhat tolerable. He wasn’t used to this kind of weather, being from San Francisco, but he’d remembered the sunscreen and had applied the non-greasy SPF 45 lotion liberally on his arms, the back of his neck, and his legs. Jody had loaned him one of Clark’s baseball caps to protect his face and head.

Grier had shown up in another wife-beater, a black one this time, with the words Vinita Ice Cream scrawled in neon green. It had big circles in vivid primary colors simulating ice cream scoops splotched throughout.

“Your T-shirt is very attractive.”

“I designed it,” Grier said proudly. “You like it?”

“As I said yesterday, what’s not to like?”

“I meant the T-shirt.”

“I know.” Lil smiled. He couldn’t see Grier’s eyes behind the Oakleys, but the seductive tone of his voice was a pleasant indication that nothing had changed since yesterday’s meet and greet. “I thought you moved furniture?”

“Among other things.”

“I like a man of many talents,” Lil flirted.

“That’s me. I’m a veritable jack-of-all-trades.”

The line started moving again, and when they got on the boat they were given a choice of sitting below, in the cabin, or up on top, exposed to the elements. “Do you have a preference?” Grier asked.

“Even though the sun is deadly and will surely age me overnight, I’d rather sit up on the deck.”

“Good choice.” Grier steadied Lil with a hand on his lower back, guiding him up the narrow iron steps onto the open deck. Their seats were toward the rear of the boat, and they conversed while they waited for the rest of the passengers to be seated.

“Tell me about Vinita Ice Cream,” Lil said. “Does it belong to the group of people you were with last night?”

“Yes. The Garcias are friends, as well as neighbors, and my family helps them each year with the booth.”

“Who does the little boy belong to?”

“Luca is Jillian’s son. She’s Jake’s twin.”

“Jake?”

“My best friend.”

“Oh, right.”

“I’ve known that family since I was four years old.”

“How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I just turned twenty-five.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“June eighteenth.”

“A Gemini!”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s a treat. Geminis are wonderfully complex.”

“And here I thought I was just bipolar.”

Lil laughed out loud. “A little duality, perhaps?”

“Something like that,” Grier said, smiling. “What’s your sign?”

“Pisces.”

“I don’t know anything about astrology,” Grier admitted.

“They say that Pisces are the best lovers.”

“Is it truth or hype?”

“I’ve never had any complaints,” Lil stated frankly.

“I like men with experience,” Grier said.

“Do you?” Lil took off Grier’s sunglasses for a minute so he could look into the dark eyes that were appraising him frankly. “Then you’ve just won the jackpot. It’s one of the few advantages of being over thirty.”

“Are you thirty-one?”

Lil handed back the sunglasses but not before he traced Grier’s scruff with gentle fingers and brushed his lips against the luscious mouth in a soft kiss. The brunet leaned into his touch, and Lil was pleased to see the spark of desire in the obsidian eyes before he hid them again behind the smoked glass.

“I’m thirty-seven and holding,” Lil whispered.

“Impossible.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“It’s the truth,” Grier insisted. “You don’t look your age.”

“I certainly hope not,” Lil said. “Nonetheless, time marches on, and plastic surgeons get more affordable each day.”

“You’re not a candidate yet.”

“You’re sweet,” Lil said, basking in the compliment.

“Tell me about Lyndon Lyle Lampert,” Grier asked. “Do you have a partner?”

“Heavens no.”

“Don’t you believe in love?”

“I do, but I haven’t met the right guy yet, and I won’t settle.”

“Does he have to walk on water?”

Lil laughed. “Not necessarily, but he’s got to make my heart flutter, my breath catch in my throat, my cock surge with interest, and not always in that order. Two out of the three ingredients are a requirement.”

“I suppose I could always glamour you.”

“True Blood fan?”

“Vampire Diaries,” Grier admitted. “My heart jumps around whenever the bad vamp shows up on the screen.”

“Damon is rather hot, isn’t he? Makes you want to bare your neck willingly.”

“And other parts as well.”

“Slutty boy,” Lil teased. “Do you have anyone special?”

“If I did I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

“Oh, you’re one of those good boys who believes in monogamy.”

“Don’t you?”

“I’ve never found anyone who’d make me even consider it.”

“That’s hard to understand.”

“We can’t all be Clark and Jody.”

“I wish I had a little bit of Clark in me.”

“Hon, you’re just as gorgeous, except he’s got the whole Viking God thing going, whereas you’re more Italian bad boy.”

“Shit,” Grier mumbled. “I’m nothing like Clark.”

“In what sense?”

“He’s out and proud.”

“And you’re not?” Lil was very surprised considering Grier had no problem kissing him in public.

“I take that back,” Grier clarified. “I’m out with everyone except my father.”

“And his approval means the most?”

“Yes.”

“What about your mother?”

“She passed away last year.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I miss her a lot.” Grier looked out toward the horizon, and Lil could feel the melancholy that swamped the young man as memories surfaced. “Her biggest regret in dying so young was leaving me unsettled.”

Lil put his arm around Grier and drew him close. “She was your friend.”

Grier nodded.

“Don’t think that Clark’s journey wasn’t difficult, Grier. His father is a homophobic megalomaniac. I can’t imagine your father being half as bad.”

“I read about Clark’s dad… he’s a little controlling.”

“A little is an understatement.”

“My dad is a good person, Lil. He loves me, and my brother, and has worked very hard to provide a future for us. Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand that my sexual orientation is nothing like his. Mom and I were trying to figure out how to convince Dad to let me finish my schooling, but then she got sick.”

“You’re not done with college yet?”

“Two years of general ed courses is all I’ve accomplished so far. When I asked to transfer to the Illinois Institute of Art, he had a fit.”

“Why?”

“Only queers go for design.”

“Give me a fucking break. Hasn’t he heard of Frank Lloyd Wright? He was one of the greatest architects who ever lived, and he was from the Midwest, for Pete’s sake, and from everything I’ve read about him, an absolute hound with women.”

“Lil, even if he’d heard of him, it wouldn’t make a difference. All Dad wants is someone to take over Dilorio Trucking, but even Ali won’t touch it.”

“Who’s Ali?”

“My brother, Alissio.”

“You boys certainly have unusual names.”

“Lil isn’t that commonplace either.”

“Touché.”

“Why do they call you Lil? I think I prefer Lyndon.”

“Oh, please, Lyndon makes me sound like an old fart. When I was younger, and utterly outrageous, my friends started calling me Lillian. It got shortened through the years.”

“Lillian,” Grier frowned slightly. “I don’t see it at all.”

“Enough talk about me, okay?” Lil said, embarrassed about bringing up ancient history. Grier was only eight years old when Lil was prowling The Castro and earning that nickname. He leaned into Grier and said, “Let’s postpone this conversation until after the tour, alright?” The boat had finally filled up and was slowly moving away from the dock.

“Sure.”

Earplugs were passed out and attached, and they settled in for the two hours. The narrator described the forty different buildings they were about to see, along with a brief history of Chicago architects and their work. It was fascinating to Lil, and even to Grier, who’d been on this tour several times. Halfway through, Grier went down to the bar and purchased two beers. Lil accepted his Heineken gratefully.

“I’m particularly interested in the Chicago Board of Trade Building and Sears Tower,” Lil mentioned. “I’d like to tour them on land if possible.”

“We can arrange something,” Grier offered. “They changed Sears to Willis Tower, you know?”

“When did that happen?”

“In 2009.”

“Whatever it’s called, I’d like to see it. Would you come with me?”

“I’ve got to work around my shifts at the Taste.”

“Since you’re the tour guide, we’ll work around your schedule.”

By the time the boat ride ended, they’d each had three beers and were feeling no pain. Both men were a little sunburned, but Lil was certain the tour wouldn’t have been as much fun without the wind on his face and the sight of the bright sun bouncing off the Chicago River. He’d learned a lot about the architecture and had also gotten a glimpse into Grier’s world. His impulsive hookup was turning out to be a lot more than just a pretty face.

“Did you have a good time?” Grier asked, hanging on to Lil’s arm to steady him. They were both a little woozy from the beer and the sudden shift to terra firma.

“It was great,” Lil admitted. “Aren’t you supposed to be working the booth today?”

“I asked for the day off.”

“Good deal. The guys want you to barbecue with us.”

“That sounds great. Where do they live?”

“Bucktown.”

“I’m surprised. I thought they’d have a big old house in the ’burbs.”

“They kept their home in Berkeley, so they opted to rent in the city for now.”

“Bucktown’s not bad.”

“My initial impression wasn’t all that great.”

“What do you mean?” Grier asked. They went to stand in the cab line.

“The first time I came to visit was Thanksgiving two years ago. It was snowing, gray, and quite dismal. I was dismayed when we drove through the streets and even more so when we got to their house.”

“Is it a dump?”

“No, but it wasn’t what I expected.”

“What were you expecting?”

“San Francisco,” Lil said, laughing. “It’s so different.”

“I suppose, but it’s just your typical Chicago neighborhood. Is it a narrow, three-story house with a deck out back?”

“How’d you guess?”

“They’re all like that.”

“The inside of their home is lovely. It’s the outside that disturbed me.”

Grier cocked his head to the right. “Why?”

“The houses are practically on top of each other and so old. At least the antiques in San Francisco are colorful.”

“You have a problem with age; I can tell,” Grier teased.

“I like clean open spaces, and yes, I’ll admit that brand new is better than antique.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when I start designing for you.”

Lil raised a brow but didn’t reply. They got into a cab, and Lil gave the driver Clark and Jody’s address.

 

THEY HAD barbecued brisket, and baked potatoes loaded with all the extras. Jody had even purchased an apple pie for dessert and was urging everyone to have a slice.

“I can’t eat one more thing,” Lil groaned.

“Come on, you can stand to gain a few pounds,” Jody commented.

“If I had a bite every time I heard that statement, I’d look like Shrek.”

“I love Shrek,” Grier exclaimed. “Did you know they’ve turned him into a play?”

“I read that somewhere,” Jody replied, “unfortunately, we don’t get to the theater much.”

“Our schedules make it difficult to have much of a life,” Clark said. “But if we ever get a chance, I’d like to see that.”

“What about you, Lil?”

“What?”

“Do you want to see a play?” Grier asked.

“My agenda seems to be filling up, Grier.”

“It’s your vacation, so you decide.”

“How about some dancing?” Lil suggested.

“Yeah?” Grier smiled. “Have you been to Halsted yet?”

“Is that the Chicago Castro?”

“Yup.”

“Let’s go.”

“Tonight?”

“When else?”

“Okay, but I’d like to freshen up.”

“Come on.” Lil stood and grabbed Grier’s hand. “You can use the bathroom downstairs.”

Lil waited outside the bathroom door, which was off his bedroom. He heard the flush, the sound of running water in the sink, and then Grier opened the door and stood in front of him. There were drops of water spiking his lashes, and his breath was minty fresh after using the toothbrush Lil had handed him right out of the package. He’d urged Grier to use whatever he needed, and he could smell his own Calvin Klein in the air since Grier had applied it quite liberally. He looked rejuvenated with the little bit of sprucing.

They’d been together all day and apart from the brief peck on the boat they had never moved beyond handholding. Lil pushed Grier up against the wall and studied the man he had trapped in-between his arms. He stared into eyes that were as black as a starless night and could think of nothing beyond kissing him. He wanted a taste, and he wanted it now. He thumbed Grier’s lips and sighed when Grier flicked out his tongue and drew in Lil’s finger, sucking on it gently. That move went straight to Lil’s groin, and he felt his cock surge in response. “Kissing you,” Lil announced, one second before he crushed Grier’s mouth.

Grier arched into him and met his passion head on. They tangled tongues, and Lil’s hands were all over Grier’s ass, kneading the firm muscles encased in tight jeans. He was grinding against him shamelessly, encouraged by Grier’s matching boner and the soft whining sounds coming from deep in his throat. “Shit, you’re killing me,” Lil sighed, pushing Grier away reluctantly.

“Don’t stop,” Grier protested. He wrapped his arms around Lil’s neck and began kissing him again. Lil was lost in a swirl of sensation. Grier’s tongue swept his mouth aggressively. He knew that Grier was just as eager to move onto the next step, but Lil was hesitant. There was something holding him back, and so he chose to wait. Once more, he stepped away from the beautiful man in his arms. Grier’s lips were swollen from the kissing, and he looked dazed and disappointed. “Lil?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you.”

Lil closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “We’ve got all night.”

“Do we?”

“That’s unless someone’s waiting for you?”

“No,” Grier said slowly. “There’s no one.”

“Your absence won’t turn into an Amber Alert?”

“I’m not twelve, Lil, even though I still live with my father.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Long story.”

“You have all night to tell me,” Lil said gently. “Give me a minute to get ready.” Lil stepped into the bathroom and leaned against the closed door. He took several deep breaths to try and regain some of his composure, which had been blown apart by the kiss. He was completely captivated, and wanted Grier desperately, but there was an element of vulnerability he’d never expected from his sexy bad boy, despite the tattoos and the self-assured persona. Lil wanted this endless date―ten hours since the boat ride―to be more than just a one-night stand. He knew there was no future for them, but he wanted the sex to be memorable at least. A quickie wasn’t what he had in mind.

 

 

THE CAB dropped them off at Rick’s, and they ended up playing pool instead of dancing. They passed a pleasant hour enjoying the camaraderie, almost relieved to step back from the intensity of their mutual desire. Dancing would have just exacerbated the passion. After a while they got bored and moved on to the next bar. Grier suggested Cellblock, an obvious leather bar. It surprised Lil and made him question, once again, who and what Grier was all about. People knew him, and soon they were the center of attention as a group of bears, in full leather regalia, teased Grier affectionately. After they left the couple alone, Lil couldn’t resist asking. “Are you into this scene, Grier?”

Grier shrugged. “I stumbled into this bar once and made a few friends.”

“You must be into leather.”

“I’m not into BDSM, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That’s a relief.”

“I do ride a Harley, however. Is that an issue?”

“Not unless you make me ride behind you,” Lil said. “I’m terrified of motorcycles and have no desire to end up as road kill.”

“Have you had a bad experience?”

“A couple of my friends in college were killed on their Harleys, and that sort of put the kibosh on my enthusiasm.”

“It’s like any mode of transport, Lil. There are rules that need to be followed, and if you stick to them, it’s as safe as a car or truck.”

“I don’t agree.”

“I’ll have to take you on a short ride to change your mind.”

“I’d rather not.”

Grier smiled. “Your choice.”

“What time is it?” Lil asked.

“Close to three.”

“I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?”

“It’s been a long day,” Grier acknowledged. “You want to get going?”

“Yes.” The mood between them had changed drastically, and Lil couldn’t explain why. Maybe it had to do with the scenario and the idea of being with someone who was into the leather mentality. Lil had always shied away from these type of men; the rough and tumble guys who needed that little bit of danger to keep them going. The truth of the matter was he knew nothing about Grier, and years of being on his own had taught him to be cautious and listen to his gut feelings. He was wary of getting involved with a guy who was so comfortable in these surroundings. Lil had never been into the leather scene and wanted nothing to do with it. Although, Grier had reassured him by saying he wasn’t into BDSM. Maybe he was tired and overreacting, but he decided to listen to his feelings.

They were quiet in the cab, and Lil relaxed slightly when Grier reached over and took his hand. “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not,” Lil said quietly. “But I am tired. Let’s call this a night, okay?”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still want to tour the Board of Trade Building and Willis Tower?”

“I’d like that. Are you free tomorrow?”

“I think I’ll be free until five, and then I have to be at the Taste until closing.”

“Give me your phone,” Lil said. He keyed in his number when Grier handed him the phone, and then he did the same for himself, inputting Grier’s phone number as he rattled it off. “There, we’re connected,” Lil said, passing the phone back to Grier.

“Are you pissed?”

“Not at all.”

“Let me walk you to the door.”

“That’s fine,” Lil said, already regretting his decision. He wanted Grier to stay but was reluctant to ask.

“Give me a few minutes,” Grier said to the driver who nodded nonchalantly.

When Lil fumbled with the key, Grier took it from his hand and opened the door easily. Lil disabled the alarm before he turned on the lights and was surprised when Grier pulled him close and kissed him deeply. “I’m disappointed that I’m not spending the night.”

“I’m sorry, hon. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me.”

“I hope it wasn’t anything I said. I would never force you to ride my bike if it’s not your thing.”

“I know, sweetie. I really do think I’m tired. I’m no spring chicken, you know.”

“Will you stop it? You’re not even forty yet.”

Lil laughed. “Kiss me and be off.”

“I had a really good time today,” Grier said gently. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. We’ll do it again tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Grier said, kissing Lil once more. He let himself out, and Lil dead bolted the door and reset the alarm.

 

 

GRIER WOKE up to the sound of someone beating on his bedroom door. He pulled his wristwatch off his nightstand and struggled to see the time. It felt like he’d just gone to sleep, and this was confirmed when he saw that it was only eight in the morning, a scant four hours since he’d fallen into his bed.

“What the fuck,” he grumbled, pulling on his briefs and staggering to the door. Jillian stood there with Luca, looking terribly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Ya think?”

“I’m in a bind, Grier.”

Grier sighed and saw that Luca was already dressed in street clothes. “What’s the matter?”

“I’ve been called into work, and no one can watch Luca.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Grier, please.”

“I had plans for today.”

“Can you change them?”

“I don’t want to change them.”

“Could Luca go with you?”

“Come on, Jill.”

“Please?”

Grier looked down at the little boy who stared up at him expectantly. “How long am I supposed to keep him?”

“All day.”

“That’s crap, Jillian.”

“Mom has to work, and Dad and Jake will be at the Taste. There’s no one else.”

“I have to be at the Taste at five.”

“Bring Luca and I’ll pick him up there.”

“Fine. Come on, little buddy,” Grier said gently, taking Luca’s hand. As soon as Jillian left, Grier sat back down on the bed.

“I’m thorry to bother you, Tito G,” Luca lisped. Grier had been working with him to overcome the speech impediment, but it was stubborn, and slipped through when Luca was emotional or excited, like now. Grier heard him struggling with the letter S and knew that he’d caused this moment of anxiety.

“You want to go back to thleep?”

Grier felt awful about his earlier outburst and even worse when the large sloe eyes brimmed with tears. “Hey, it’s okay, buddy. Don’t cry.”

A fat drop rolled down the pudgy cheek and just about broke Grier’s heart. He picked up Luca and hugged him tight. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Yeth.”

“Let’s go see what we can rustle up. Is oatmeal okay?”

Luca nodded, rewarding Grier with a perfect S despite the sniffles. “You got maple and brown sugar?”

“You bet.”

 

“LIL, I’M afraid I can’t make it.”

“Why not?”

“I’m babysitting for a friend,” Grier explained. “I’m really sorry.”

“Is it that kid I saw you with the other night?”

“Yeah, Luca.”

“Bring him along.”

“Are you serious?”

“Is he well-behaved?”

“Very.”

“Then bring him. What the hell, I’m not child-phobic.”

“That’s good to know.”

“See you in about an hour?”

“Okay.”

Grier disconnected and stepped back into his room, where he’d left Luca happily watching The Penguins of Madagascar on the Nickelodeon channel. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a Pop-Tart in hand.

“Pick up your crumbs, okay, kiddo?”

“’Kay.” Luca nodded as he chewed loudly.

“And close your mouth while you’re chewing.”

Luca shut his mouth instantly and proceeded to chew his food like a cow masticating grass, moving his jaw slowly from side to side.”

“You don’t need to exaggerate, buddy. You’ll end up with TMJ problems.”

“Huh?”

Grier laughed and ruffled Luca’s dark fringe. “You need a haircut.”

Luca agreed with a nod. “Tito A said I look like a girl.”

“When did he say that?” Grier frowned. Since when did Ali have a say in anything involving Luca? A girl? What the fuck!

“I don’t remember… the other day.”

“At the Taste?”

“No, at home. He came to have dinner with Mommy and me.”

Grier froze. “Does he come around a lot?”

“Not tho much,” Luca said, slipping on the S word.

“How many times, Luca?” Grier raised his hand and spread his fingers. “This much?”

Luca folded down two of Grier’s fingers leaving three standing. “That much.”

What the hell? How come nobody told him about this new development? “Finish up your breakfast, buddy, we’ve got to get going.”

 

 

BY THE time the cab made its way to Bucktown, it was close to ten thirty in the morning. Lil was already waiting at the door, looking very summery in khakis and a Tommy Bahama shirt. He’d left his hair product-free, choosing to have it flop naturally, rather than dealing with a sticky mess that resulted from the high levels of humidity. The end result was more youthful, with the soft hair falling over his forehead. Grier couldn’t help admiring the blond who’d captured his interest so acutely. He would have greeted him with a kiss but held back due to Luca’s presence. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” Lil smiled broadly. “And who is this young man?”

“I’m Luca.” The boy stared at Lil with frank curiosity. “What’s your name?”

Lil was charmed. “My name is Lil.”

“Do I have to call him Tito Lil?” Luca turned toward Grier.

“That would be best,” Grier replied.

“Tito?” Lil inquired.

“It means ‘Uncle’ in Filipino.”

“But I’m not his uncle.”

“And neither am I, but we’re adults, and in his culture it would be disrespectful if he addressed us without a formal salutation.”

“I see.”

“Everyone buckle up, and let’s get this show on the road,” Grier said, helping Luca into the cab and adjusting his seat belt. They headed toward the Loop, not very far distance-wise, but with the perennial gridlock, they inched their way across town. Finally, a few blocks away from Willis Tower, they asked the taxi driver to stop. Walking would be far more enjoyable than sitting in a stuffy cab. Lil paid and they exited onto the sidewalk.

“Wow,” Luca said, craning his neck when they finally arrived in front of Willis Tower. “I can’t see the top of the building.”

“It’s certainly impressive,” Lil seconded. “This should prove very interesting.”

“Why’s that?” Grier replied, noting the tiny bit of apprehension in Lil’s voice. “I thought you wanted to do this?”

“I’m not comfortable with heights,” Lil confessed. “They make me queasy, and I always have this urge to throw myself over the edge.”

“I’ll hold your hand, Tito Lil,” Luca said solemnly. “Don’t be afraid.”

“Thank you, Luca. I need all the help I can get.” Lil looked at Grier and mouthed, He’s so fucking cute!

Grier smiled. “He is.”

They stood in the line with the other tourists waiting their turn to get into the elevator that would take them up to the Skydeck. Willis Tower, according to the brochure in Lil’s hand, was the highest building in the western hemisphere, and the third tallest in the world. It was a big tourist attraction, and the lines were a small price to pay to get to the top and enjoy the magnificent view. The express elevator soared up to the hundred and third floor in less than sixty seconds. Luca held his head when the door slid open and turned to Grier. “Tight?”

“It’s the pressure building up in your ears,” Grier explained. “Try pinching your nose with your fingers and blowing.”

Luca did as he was told and he looked at Grier and smiled. “They popped, Tito G.”

“Good.”

Luca moved quickly, heading toward the Ledge everyone was talking about. Lil held back when he realized what he was about to experience.

“Come on, Tito Lil,” Luca urged, pulling him along. Grier brought up the rear and watched in amusement as Lil stepped into the glass box with much trepidation. It extended approximately four feet over Wacker Drive allowing one to look through the floor to the street, one thousand plus feet below. Lil would have passed out if not for Luca’s innocent face looking up at him.

“How cool!” Luca exclaimed.

“Way cool, buddy,” Lil croaked.

Grier put his arm around Lil’s waist and drew him close. “I got you.”

“Thank God,” Lil whispered. He turned toward Grier and began to hyperventilate, so caught up in his fear he forgot how to breathe. The look on his face was priceless, and Grier couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Can we please get out of here?”

“Come on,” Luca sighed loudly, “you’re a big baby, Tito Lil.”

Grier burst out laughing. “You tell him, buddy.”

“Shut up,” Lil hissed. “I have to maintain my dignity around this child.”

“I think it’s a lost cause,” Grier joked.

“Oh my God,” Lil clutched Grier’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t you want to see anything else? What kind of architect are you?”

“The kind that enjoys skyscrapers off a blueprint!”

Grier picked up Luca, and they entered the elevator, which hurled them down the many flights in record time. Lil felt like he’d left his stomach somewhere up on the eightieth floor. By the time he staggered out onto the street, he was paper white. “I think I need a drink. What time is it?”

“Who cares?” Grier replied. “It’s after five somewhere in the world.”

Lil broke out in a nervous laugh. “Let’s find a beer joint.”

They walked by Uno’s Pizzeria and agreed that this was where they’d have lunch. Luca was eager to try the deep-dish pepperoni, and Lil ordered a pitcher of beer. It was a win-win situation for everyone. After the color came back into Lil’s cheeks, Grier and Luca started to make fun of his hysterics, and soon the three of them were cracking up. “Remind me never to do this again,” Lil wheezed. “What was I thinking?”

“Good thing I held your hand, huh, Tito Lil?”

“You’re very brave, Luca. How old are you, anyway?”

“I just turned theven.”

“Well, I’ll make sure and tell your mommy and daddy how you kept me from flipping out.”

“I don’t have a daddy,” Luca said softly.

“Oh. Well, I’ll tell your mommy, then.”

“You know my mommy?”

“No, but your Tito G does. He can tell her how brave you were.”

“Okay.” Luca took a huge bite of his pizza and began to chew slowly, making sure he had his mouth closed the entire time.

Lil stared at Luca in silence, ignoring the abrupt shift in Grier’s body language. The boy’s eyes were like black buttons, exactly like Grier’s, only almond shaped, and his lashes weren’t as curly. His skin tone was a rich taupe, with a touch of copper, like over-ripe apricots, especially on his cheeks, and his pitch-black hair was bone straight. The boy was clearly of mixed race, a perfect combination of a Caucasian father and his Filipino mother. Lil wanted to kick himself for missing what was so obviously Grier’s mouth. The shape of Luca’s lips were the same. The pouty lower lip with the little dent right underneath the middle, a not-so-full-upper lip to match, and the tiniest hint of a cleft on his chin confirmed what Lil now suspected. Luca was Grier’s son, and the mystery of his enigmatic hookup deepened even further.

Lil turned to Grier in time to see the man raise his glass of beer in a silent toast. “Figure it out?”

“Apparently so.”

“Let’s drink to that, shall we?”

“Indeed,” Lil said, forcing a smile. “To fathers and sons everywhere.”

 

THE MOOD became awkward very swiftly. Grier felt sick to his stomach now that Lil had deduced what no one else in his family had ever considered. He’d have to tell him the whole sordid story just to erase that look of disapproval on the blond’s face. How could you?

It was a million-dollar question, and the one that Grier asked himself every day. If he could change anything in his life it would be the moment in time when he’d agreed to go along with Jillian’s story.

Lil requested the check and insisted on paying for the meal, despite Grier’s protests. “Look, it’s my treat since you and Luca are doing me a favor.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Lil said stiffly. “I think we’ve seen enough for one day, don’t you?”

Grier leaned in toward Lil’s ear so Luca wouldn’t hear him. “Please, give me a chance to explain.”

“It’s not necessary, Grier.”

“Yes, it is. Please?”

Lil nodded. “Alright.”

Grier knew that Lil was completely turned off and probably wanted nothing more to do with him. And who could blame him? He had more baggage than any one person should have to deal with, or want to for that matter. Yet, it was important that Lil understand the reasons behind the deceit, which meant Grier would have to put up with the judgmental attitude for a few more hours. So be it.

“Is there a zoo around here?” Lil asked.

Luca squealed and began to hop up and down. “Oh, pleeth, can we go? Pleeth, pleeth…?”

Lil smiled down at him. “If Tito G can find one for us, we’ll go, little man.”

“Lincoln Park Zoo isn’t that far.”

“Let’s go, then.”

They walked out of the restaurant with a lively Luca in between them. The little boy was in high spirits and bounced in his seat as the cab crawled its way to the zoo.

“Settle down, Luca,” Grier said gently.

“I want to see the lionth.”

“You’ll get to see everything if you calm down.”

“I’m excited, too, Luca, but you need to sit still or that lap belt will hurt you,” Lil cautioned.

“Can I feed the animalth? Will there be a duck?”

“I’m not sure, but we’ll soon find out,” Lil said.

It turned out that there was a model farm, sponsored by John Deere, where animals were available for petting, and feeding as well. Grier purchased a small bucket of food pellets and let Luca run on ahead.

“Thank you for doing this,” Grier said, “I know this isn’t part of your city tour.”

“If you must know,” Lil said frigidly, “I’ve fallen in love with your son.”

“He’s pretty hard to resist.”

Lil finally let loose and angrily asked, “Why? I can understand if you didn’t want to marry his mother. I’m surmising he was the result of an experiment for you, or her, or both, but to deny him as your child? I don’t get it―I would give anything to have a son.”

“Then why don’t you?” Grier shot back.

“Don’t you dare make this about me,” Lil hissed.

“I’m not,” Grier said. “I’m sorry. It’s such a long and convoluted story. I need time to explain.”

“I told you I’d listen.”

“Now is not the time. Can we meet tonight after my shift?”

“Where?”

“Anyplace you want.”

“Take a cab to Bucktown.”

“They won’t mind that it’s so late?”

“Not if I let them know you’re coming,” Lil said.

Luca ran up to the pair and began tugging on Grier’s hand, trying to get him to quicken his pace. “Come on, you two. They’re going to milk a cow, and I want to watch.”

Lil smiled at the boy’s enthusiasm. “So do I, Luca. I’ve never seen that done before.”

They spent at least thirty minutes watching the milking, and Luca was enthralled by the entire process. “Where do they get the chocolate milk, Tito G?”

“From the brown cows,” Grier quipped.

“Oh, stop it,” Lil admonished. “They mix white milk with chocolate powder, sweetie. There’s no such thing as chocolate-producing cows.”

“Oh.” Luca’s tiny mouth settled into a moue of disappointment.

“Next you’ll be telling him there’s no Santa Claus,” Grier whispered into Lil’s ear.

“I believe in telling the truth.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy,” Grier responded.

“You seem to subscribe to that theory quite well.”

“Don’t judge me until you’ve heard my side,” Grier blasted, turning furious eyes on him.

Lil remained silent after that. He really had no right to make assumptions, especially after Grier had asked for a chance to explain. Lil was experienced enough to know that life was never perfect, and some decisions were made on the fly. Shit happened, hence the expression, and who was he to get all Judge Judy on anybody. He reached for Grier’s hand and held it for a second. “I’m sorry.”

“Sure.” Grier’s face was devoid of all expression, which was a better alternative to the previous scowl. “Shall we go and look at the tigers, Luca?”

“Lionth,” Luca said, struggling, as always, to get the S’s under control.

“Right.”

 

 

THE REST of the afternoon passed without incident, a rapid blur of cages and animals and an excited Luca. He was particularly drawn to the large cats and insisted on staying while they were being fed. He showed no fear or revulsion as he watched the lions and tigers tear into the chunks of meat the keepers passed into the cages. “I love them,” he mused. “Do you think Mommy will let me buy a cat?”

“I have no idea, buddy. You’ll have to ask her.”

“I have a cat,” Lil commented. “His name is Sebastian.”

“Like Little Mermaid,” Luca’s voice was filled with wonder. “What color is he, Tito Lil?”

“He’s pure white with black socks.”

“What do you mean?”

“The bottoms of his legs are black as if he were wearing knee high socks.”

“Do you pet him?”

“It’s his favorite thing, Luca.”

“Maybe I can visit you someday?”

“Maybe.” Lil smiled. He looked at Grier and raised an eyebrow. “Who knows, right?”

“Never say never,” Grier mumbled.

They parted ways around four thirty, taking the traffic into consideration. The sooner Grier arrived for his shift at the Vinita booth, the sooner he could leave. Lil got down on his haunches to stare into Luca’s dark eyes. “I had a really good time today, Luca. Thank you for being the perfect tour guide.”

“A guide, Tito Lil?”

“It’s someone who shows the way.”

“I know my way,” Luca announced, dazzling Lil with his smile.

“Is it okay if I give you a hug, Luca?”

Luca threw his arms around Lil’s neck and squeezed as hard as he could. “I like you,” he whispered into Lil’s ear.

“I like you, too, sweetie.”

 

 

GRIER AND Luca got to the booth on time, despite the miles of traffic they had to endure. Enteng and Santino looked beat, having been under the blazing sun for the past six hours. “Hey,” Grier said, nodding at the men.

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Santino groused. “I’m ready for a beer, a shower, and my recliner.”

“Well, the cavalry has arrived. Where are Jake and Ali?”

“They’re on their way,” Enteng said. “I just talked to them on the phone.”

“Lolo,” Luca squealed, hurling himself at his grandfather, who waited with open arms. “I saw lionth, and cowth, and a red panda.”

Enteng grinned as he listened to his grandson stumbling over the words. “Is that right?”

“You think mommy will buy me a cat?”

“I don’t know about that, Luca. We’ll ask her when she gets here.”

Jake and Ali appeared shortly after with Jillian trailing behind them. “Where did you come from?” Grier asked.

“We stopped at the hospital to pick up Jillian.”

“Mommy,” Luca piped up, “can I buy a cat?”

“A cat?” Jillian looked at Grier. “What’s that about?”

“We came from the zoo,” Grier said.

Jillian moved closer to him and asked, “Did you take him by yourself?”

“No, I was with a friend.”

“One of your hookups?” Ali interrupted. “You shouldn’t be subjecting the kid to your men.”

“Mind your own business, Ali.”

“I’m just saying, Grier. You don’t want him to think it’s normal.”

“Excuse me?”

Jillian stopped Ali by putting her hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Ali. I trust Grier with Luca.”

“Grier,” Ali continued to lecture, “you need to start thinking about Luca’s perception of what’s right and wrong. He’s not a baby anymore, and we need to make sure he’s aware that two men in a relationship is not the norm.”

“Says who?” It took every ounce of self-control not to smack his brother in the face.

“Guys, come on,” Jillian begged.

“Since when does Ali have any say in Luca’s life?” Grier’s anger still simmered.

“Since Jillian and I started dating… I may end up being Luca’s daddy.”

Grier was so shocked he was speechless. He turned questioning eyes to Jillian, who looked embarrassed at Ali’s outburst.

“It’s premature to make that kind of statement, Ali.”

“I thought we had something going?” Ali queried.

Jillian leaned in and bussed his cheek. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?”

“Sure,” Ali said, smiling at her. “We’ll take it nice and easy, right?”

“Right.”

 

BY THE time Lil opened the front door and stared at a weary Grier, it was almost eleven o’clock in the evening.

“Sorry about the time. It took forever to close everything down.”

“It’s okay. I knew you’d be late.”

Grier appeared reluctant to cross over the threshold. Lil had to coax him with a gentle touch. “Come on, Grier, a nice cold beer is just what you need.”

“That would be great,” Grier replied, relieved when he saw that Lil was cordial and the earlier chill had thawed somewhat. He accepted the beer gratefully and followed Lil down the stairs to his basement suite.

“Talk to me,” Lil said after he threw himself on the bed. He patted the area beside him, and Grier perched gingerly. He took several long pulls of the beer before he could start speaking.

“Have you ever done something so colossally stupid you can’t bear to tell anyone?”

“People make mistakes all the time, Grier.”

“Luca is not a mistake,” Grier said fiercely.

“Hey, take it easy.” Lil gentled the sudden flare in temper by rubbing Grier’s jeans-clad thigh. “Luca is a wonderful child and could never be called a mistake. I apologize for my earlier comments, Grier, you don’t need to explain or justify anything to me.”

Grier relaxed visibly, moving a little closer to Lil, instead of bolting like a skittish animal. However, he continued to pick at the beer label, shredding it with his thumbnail until the bottle was clean.

“I’ve never shared this with anyone expect my mother, Lil. I don’t even know why I’m telling you.”

“Maybe you just need a listening ear.”

“But I’ve only known you for two and a half days, and yet―”

“There’s a connection,” Lil said, nodding. “I feel it as well.”

Grier took a deep breath and blurted out, “My mother cried when I told her.”

“Did she?”

“I told her about a month before she died.”

“Why did you wait so long?”

“I thought she’d get better. If I had known the outcome of her illness, I would have confessed a lot sooner.”

“Did she get to spend any time with him?”

“A few visits, certainly not enough to make an impression on Luca. He never asks about her.”

“You can tell him about his grandmother when he gets older.”

“I suppose.”

“Did your mom have any words of advice?”

“She told me to claim him regardless of the fallout.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It would have destroyed a long-standing friendship between our families.”

Lil moved over to make room. “Come here,” he said, pulling Grier into his arms. He could feel the slight trembling in the long limbs and was honored that Grier was willing to divulge such a guarded secret. He hardly knew the man but could only imagine how difficult this journey must have been without anyone to guide him or share the burden of the guilt. The pain in Grier’s voice, and the terrible fear and hurt in the dark eyes, reversed Lil’s earlier opinion of him being a heartless man who could walk away from his responsibilities. He should have known that there was more to this story, and he felt terrible about making a snap judgment. After a few minutes, Grier began to talk again.

“I love Jillian,” Grier stated. “She’s funny, smart, and very brave.”

“And quite beautiful from the little I’ve seen.”

“That too,” Grier acknowledged. “She’s also a stubborn, selfish bitch who thinks she knows it all.”

“Whoa.”

“It’s true, Lil. Jillian decided that I was Ken to her Barbie when we were five years old.”

Lil laughed. “No one can accuse her of being wishy-washy.”

“No,” Grier continued. “The bottom line is she was obsessed with me, and our families played along with her fantasy. She was the little princess amongst the three boys and always got her way. When she began to notice that I’d rather be Barbie than Ken, she was outraged.”

“I’ll bet.”

“She was sure that she could change me.”

“It’s hard to let go of a dream.”

“She started telling our parents that I was sweet on her. She’d go out of her way to catch me in private and rub up against me like some horny cat. She was convinced I’d succumb to her charms.”

“Well, you must have at one point.”

“Lil, I was on the cusp of my eighteenth birthday. The sum total of my sexual experience could fit in the palm of my hand. I was perpetually horny and would have gotten hard if the wind blew against my dick.”

“I gather she did—blow it, I mean.”

“Pfft… hardly.”

“What happened?”

“We went to the senior prom together, and I got shitfaced. Afterward, she pretty much forced me.”

“That little thing? She’s barely five feet tall.”

“She’s actually five two and has a brown belt in Taekwondo.”

“We’re digressing.”

“Right. Anyway, Jillian was determined to have sex with me. She’d convinced herself that once we went to bed I’d see the light. She had me naked and hard in less than five minutes, and before I knew what was happening, I was inside her and pumping away frantically.”

“Shit… and no condom, of course.”

“Of course not! I’m ashamed to say I barely remember her body or the experience.”

“Then what did you guys do?”

“We hardly spoke to each other after that. She must have had an epiphany that night, realizing I wasn’t going to morph into Ken despite her beguiling ways.”

“The pregnancy?”

“Before I left for college in August, she told me she was pregnant. I was shocked, and frightened, but I offered to marry her.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Thank God she had the brains to say no.”

“Jill not only said no, she told me to stop worrying about it because she would have an abortion, and then, in the same breath, sent me off to college with a hug.”

“She obviously had a change of heart.”

“I should have known she was lying! Jillian is a healer, Lil. She’s always wanted to be a nurse like her mother. When I came home for Thanksgiving, she was five months pregnant. I almost died when I saw her.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! The tension around both houses was terrible. Jillian had told everyone she was raped and refused to have an abortion. Her parents were blindsided, and mine were sympathetic to the umpteenth degree. Jillian was like a child to them as well.”

“I don’t understand the whole rape scenario.”

“She didn’t want to destroy the friendship between our families. I’ll give her that much. She stood her ground and never caved despite their badgering. It was easier to blame some unknown assailant than admit that I’d violated her,” Grier spat out.

“But it was the other way around!?” Lil exclaimed. He was outraged at Jillian’s manipulation. “This woman is something else.”

“I know it looks shitty, but she does care for me. She wanted to protect me from the wrath of our respective fathers, who would have cheerfully castrated me if they found out the truth.”

“What happened when Luca was born?”

“I wasn’t around,” Grier said bitterly. “She had him in March, and she put ‘unknown’ under father on his birth certificate. She even named him without consulting me.”

“Luca is a nice name.”

“That’s not the point. She didn’t give me a chance to be a part of his birth or his naming.”

“I guess she wanted to relieve you of the responsibility.”

“I guess,” Grier buried his face against Lil’s neck. “You smell good.”

“Thank you, but don’t change the subject.”

“What else do you want to know?”

“Have you talked about the future? Luca seems very comfortable with you, so I’m assuming you’re involved in his life, however remotely.”

“I’ve put my life on hold for this boy. Why do you think I still live with my dad? So I can be close to Luca. I’ve been the official babysitter since he was two years old. And I’m saving on rent so I can help toward his future.”

“You’re putting money away for him or giving it to Jillian?”

“I opened a trust fund for him shortly after he was born. I put in about three hundred dollars a month.”

“You must have thousands in there by now.”

“He’ll need it for college.”

“Does Jillian work?”

“Yes. She finished her nursing degree after Luca was born and graduated at the top of her class. She did end up following in Tita Nita’s footsteps after all.”

“You call her mother Tita?”

“Yes, we’ve totally assimilated the Filipino culture.”

“I think that’s great.”

“It makes it easier for Luca.”

“Jillian sounds quite formidable.”

Grier snorted. “She was the alpha of the group. Ali, Jake, and I were like her lap dogs.”

“What does Jake think of all of this?”

“Jake has no clue. What was I going to say? ‘Oh, by the way, I fucked your sister last night’?”

“Don’t be crass… I thought he was your best friend.”

“He is, but he’s also her brother.”

“Isn’t she willing to come clean now that the worst has passed?”

“What do you mean?”

“All the shock and drama that came with the sudden pregnancy is over. Now that everyone has seen Luca in the flesh, they must want the best for this child, and having a father is preferable to having none.”

“Jillian feels it would cloud her parents’ opinion of me, and eventually the families would have to take sides. She doesn’t want that.”

“What do you want,” Lil asked.

“I’ve let her call the shots so far.”

“Are you usually this passive?”

“No, but I feel guilty.”

“For what?”

“For disappointing her, I guess, and for not manning up. I let her handle everything and stuck my head in the sand.”

“Grier, come on. You’re being way too hard on yourself. She played you from the beginning.”

“I don’t see it that way, Lil. I was the prince in her fantasy, and when I turned out to be the princess, her bubble burst to hell.”

“You’re hardly a princess, Grier.”

“I have issues, Lil.”

Lil pushed him away so he could look into the ebony eyes instead of just listening to Grier’s voice. His opinion of Grier hadn’t diminished, regardless of what he’d heard. In fact, he was even more drawn to the man who showed a depth of sensitivity Lil would have never suspected considering the bad-boy exterior. He kissed him gently. “Tell me what terrible issues you have, Grier.” Lil began to tongue the onyx earrings on Grier’s left earlobe. “Are you a shape shifter?” he whispered, noting the goose flesh that erupted close to Grier’s neckline.

“I may as well be for all my kinks.”

“Dark?” Lil pressed.

“More like frilly.”

Lil’s voice tripped. “But the leather… and the tats?”

“Are you turned off?”

“Au contraire,” Lil purred. “There aren’t a lot of things that surprise me these days, but you, my hot number, are a glorious mass of contradictions.” He pushed Grier down on the bed and straddled him, never taking his eyes off the man whose inner heat radiated in tempting waves Lil had yet to enjoy. He popped open the top button of Grier’s jeans and parted the fabric. The red lace peeked out, and Lil almost choked on his shocked breath. Jesus Christ. He was so hard he nearly shot his load right then and there.

He bent toward Grier and crushed his mouth against his.

 

LIL LOST himself in the intoxicating taste as he slid his tongue between Grier’s parted lips. He swept the soft contours and gently sucked on Grier’s tongue, encouraged when Grier clutched at his ass and yanked him up against his rigid cock. There was nothing tentative about Grier anymore. The nerves and insecurity he’d exhibited thirty minutes ago seemed to have evaporated in the wake of Lil’s response to his kinky revelation.

“Grier, I’ve got to see,” Lil breathed, pushing away reluctantly.

“Go for it,” Grier urged, lifting his hips so Lil could pull off his pants effortlessly. He lay in full view, his cock fully erect and pressing against the red lace tanga that barely concealed anything. The wet spot bloomed darkly as Grier’s arousal increased with Lil’s fevered gaze.

“So fucking beautiful,” Lil whispered before laying his cheek against the soft fabric. He began to tongue Grier through the lace until it was sopping wet, and Grier’s lusty moans acted like an accelerant to the heat that suffused Lil’s body. He drew the flimsy fabric down Grier’s raised hips, exposing the engorged penis that thrust forward eagerly. He continued to strip Grier, tossing the red lace aside and turning his attention to Grier’s T-shirt, yanking it up his raised arms. When Grier was completely naked, Lil admired every part of the magnificent young body that was fully displayed for his pleasure. The secret tattoos Grier had alluded to were tiny blue stars that got smaller and smaller as they traveled down his silky love trail from his navel to his groin, ending in a small constellational burst just above the root of his penis, which was as perfectly proportioned as the rest of him. Grier wasn’t overly large, in Lil’s opinion, nor was he too small. His cock was perfect―thick and cut―oozing with beads of precum that slid down the swollen shaft, tempting Lil like nothing in recent history. He wanted Grier desperately.

He spread Grier’s legs apart, and then his hand feathered its way up and down Grier’s inner thighs, loving the light layer of dark hair instead of the usual clean-shaven look more common in his recent liaisons. So far, every button was being pressed by this surprising man who trusted him with much more than his body.

Lil controlled the tempo, curling his tongue around Grier’s cockhead, and then taking it all in his mouth and sucking gently. He caressed Grier’s heavy sac, surprised, but delighted, to find it denuded, the one part of him Lil preferred bare. Grier squirmed, but surrendered, splaying his legs even farther as Lil nibbled his way down the rigid shaft, tracing the veins that stood out in relief.

He began to suck Grier’s cock in earnest, foregoing the coy, teasing flicks. He lodged it deep inside his throat and caressed him with practiced muscles that made most men scream with pleasure. Grier was no different, and he began to pant while urging Lil on, crying out with pleasure as his thighs gripped Lil’s head. “I’m going to come.”

The warning was ignored, and Lil continued, anticipating the warm gush that soon flooded him with a briny taste that was all Grier. He pulled back slightly so he could swallow without choking, and he continued to suck gently until he felt Grier getting softer. He released him and clambered up to his mouth, kissing Grier deeply as his own erection flattened against Grier’s stomach.

Grier tore his mouth away, scorching Lil’s face with his heated breath as he begged, “Fuck me.”

Lil grabbed the travel-sized bottle of lube and the condom off the nightstand. He tore at the foil with his teeth and rolled the condom onto his cock with one hand while his other was busy squirting the soothing gel around Grier’s clenched entry. He inserted a finger, poking through the tight ring and loosening him up. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Grier huffed and raised his hips with his hands, draping his legs over Lil’s shoulders. “Do me, Lil.”

Grier’s face was flush with anticipation, and his lashes fluttered when Lil breached him without another thought, intent on taking what was offered so blatantly. He was in so deep his balls kissed Grier’s butt cheeks, and he gasped with the sheer ecstasy of the moment. Their eyes met in a heated exchange, saying more with one look than a thousand words could possibly evoke.

Lil began to move again, pumping his hips steadily, knowing when to press and when to pull back. He could feel Grier’s stomach muscles clenching as he angled himself to spear the tiny gland, chuckling when the expletive escaped from Grier’s lips. “Oh fuck.”

He sped up and began the final assault, knowing he couldn’t last much longer. He was ready to explode as he listened to Grier’s breathing get heavier. He slid a hand behind Grier’s neck and braced himself with his forearms, all the while grinding against his pelvis. Their orgasms were immediate and simultaneous, bursting forth in a fevered celebration of lust.

“You’re amazing,” Lil choked out, unable to stop himself. He knew better than to say anything in the heat of passion, knowing the words came easily and meant nothing in the clear light of day; nonetheless, he couldn’t hold back. Grier had affected him more than he realized, and the feelings were obviously mutual as he felt Grier wrapping his arms and legs around Lil, intent on staying connected for as long as possible.

“Lil?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what? You almost killed me with that fucking lingerie.”

“You liked?”

“Oh God,” Lil moaned against Grier’s neck, still locked into place. “Was that just for me or do you run around in red lace routinely?”

“I only dress like that for very special people.”

“Good to know.”

“I take it you’re into lingerie?”

Lil laughed throatily. “Did you doubt it for a minute?”

“Somehow I knew it.”

Lil kissed him, wanting to stay inside of Grier forever. Inevitably, the need for comfort kicked in, and he finally loosened his hold and pushed away. “Let’s clean up, okay?”

“Okay,” Grier said, but he tightened his grip, unwilling to let Lil go.

“Come on,” Lil cajoled, “we have all night, don’t we?”

“I have to be home by eight.”

“Something important?”

“I’m helping my dad with a move.”

“I see.” As Lil headed toward the bathroom, he turned back and asked, “How long have you had this little kink of yours?”

“Since Jillian started dressing me.”

Lil almost tripped. “Say what?”

“Remember, I told you we were all joined at the hip? I was the doll she liked to dress.”

“Holy fuck.”

“I love color, as you know, and I resented my tighty-whities, so Jill lent me her frilly pink panties. I let her use my boring old briefs.”

“And yet,” Lil chortled, “this woman was surprised when you announced you were gay?”

“I guess she didn’t think that through,” Grier said, laughing.

“How long did you guys exchange underwear?”

“Until middle school, probably when she got her period.”

“She’s a piece of work.”

“Yeah, we would call her the iron butterfly.”

“I’d love to meet her.”

“Come to the Taste tomorrow evening. We can go out after my shift, and you can meet Jillian.”

“Okay. What about the afternoon? Will I see you?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Then we’ll just have to make tonight count.”

Grier smiled seductively. “I can handle that.”

“Of course you can; you’re young,” Lil pronounced. “Give me an hour or so to recover.”

“Are you hungry?” Grier asked.

“Are you?”

“I haven’t had anything since our pizza.”

“That was a lifetime ago,” Lil exclaimed. “Let me grab a shower. We can go upstairs and scrounge around in the kitchen when I’m done.”

“I can cook if you have the ingredients.”

Lil’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re just one surprise after another.”

Grier shrugged. “With Mom gone and Dad on the road so much, I’ve learned to fend for myself.”

“Are you ever going to get your own place?”

“Not until I feel comfortable leaving Luca.”

“How do you think that’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know.” Grier frowned. “Can we shelve this for now?”

“Sure,” Lil replied, sensing Grier’s discomfort. “Give me a minute, and then you can have your turn.”

Lil shut the door and stepped into the stall, turning the spigot and reveling in the cleansing spray of water. His mind was still on Grier and everything that had transpired in the last few hours. He was intrigued and very much interested in learning more about him. That he was physically attracted was undeniable, but his involvement had more to do with Grier’s personality than his beautiful body. He seemed to have gotten the raw end of a deal orchestrated by a very intelligent and rather self-serving woman. Lil could understand the guilt that had driven Grier initially, but it was years ago, and Jillian had trusted him enough to babysit the boy, proving his worth as a father and responsible person. It was wrong that he wasn’t being given the option to claim Luca as his child.

There was an element Lil didn’t understand―the dynamic between the two families―but surely there was some way they could work things out. He was appalled that Grier’s life had been put on hold for seven years. It was an eternity for someone his age.

By the time Lil was twenty-five, he’d already graduated and had his architectural degree. He was one of the lucky people who had parents rich enough to send him to college without saddling him with student loans, a benefit Luca would enjoy if what Grier said was true. The boy’s future was virtually made, and yet his father’s was not.

Lil knew it was pointless to get involved. He’d only be here for five more days, not enough time to make any kind of difference in Grier’s choices, but he was inexplicably drawn to father and son. It was the idea of Luca growing up not knowing who his daddy was that disturbed him more than anything else.

Perhaps it had to do with his upbringing, and the fact that his father had abandoned him as a child. Sure, his mother had remarried, and his stepfather was great, loving and caring for him as if he were his own flesh and blood. However, Lil always wondered what his life would have been like if his biological father had stuck around. Years of therapy had enabled him to work out his questions, and he’d emerged as a productive and happy member of society, without any major hang-ups, but he’d had the money, and the mother who understood his need to explore the reasons why he’d been left behind. He had no idea if Luca would be as lucky, and his personality and future hinged on a situation that could easily be resolved if only Grier would stand up to everyone.

 

LIL KISSED Grier on the lips and shut the cab door with a firm click, after promising to meet later on that evening. He took the concrete steps two at a time, anxious to get back into the warmth of the kitchen. It was cool at seven in the morning, and he was only dressed in lounging pants and a thin T-shirt. He knew it would warm up later, but for now, he was chilled and needed another cup of coffee. He also needed time to reflect on the past few hours.

Just as he stirred in the last spoonful of sugar, Jody and Clark walked in. “Is your boy toy gone?” Clark asked.

Lil nodded.

“Too tired to talk?” Jody teased.

“Why are you guys up so early?”

“Training,” Clark said. “I’ll be gone until three.”

“And you?” Lil addressed Jody.

“I always get up when he does.”

“Aww… you’re such a good wife.”

“Whateverthefuck.”

“Language,” Lil scolded. “What kind of professional are you?”

“The kind who would rather be in bed with his man.”

“Tell me about it,” Lil concurred.

“I’m outta here,” Clark said, brushing Jody’s lips with a swift kiss. “See you later?”

“I’ll be home by five.”

“’Kay. Love you, Jo-Jo.”

Jody wrapped his arms around Clark and held him for a second. “Love you, Kit.”

Lil sighed when Clark walked out. “You two are poster boys for true love.”

“Do I detect a note of sadness?”

“Maybe,” Lil shrugged. “I seem to find myself in the middle of a love affair that’s going nowhere.”

“Did you just say the L-word?” Jody’s shocked voice reverberated in the quiet room.

“I know it’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Lil, come on. You’ve known him for what? Two days?”

“Three, but who’s counting. How many hours did it take for you to fall in love with Clark?”

Jody stared at Lil, remembering his instant attraction to Clark. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“Do you remember how I tried to dissuade you from getting involved with Clark?”

“If you’ll recall, I jumped on that suggestion.”

“Shut up, you dweeb. I need you to talk me off the ledge.”

“Obviously,” Jody replied. “What does this one have that’s so special? Christ, Lil, I know he’s gorgeous and all, but will he keep you mentally challenged? He moves furniture, for heaven’s sake.”

Lil forgot that Grier had mentioned something about being a mover when they’d first met. Since then, he’d learned that Grier was much more than a pack mule, and even if he were, his father owned the damn company. None of which Jody knew.

“Let me tell you about my brawny lover.” Lil proceeded to enlighten Jody with a ten-minute dissertation into the life and times of Grier Dilorio, leaving out the magnificently appealing lingerie kink. The very thought of Grier in red lace made his pulse jump, but it was nobody’s business but his.

“Well, shit,” Jody said when Lil was done.

“You know, you’ve developed a real potty mouth since you’ve moved here,” Lil noted.

“I’m around too many jocks.”

“My condolences,” Lil drawled, leaning over and smacking Jody on the arm playfully.

“Hey, be nice.”

“What am I going to do, Jodes?” Lil groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“What do you want to do?”

“Put him in my suitcase and take him back to San Francisco.” Lil looked up and grinned.

Jody laughed. “This is really unbelievable. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

“Just because I’ve been a bachelor all these years doesn’t mean I’m excluded from the ‘happily ever after’ club.”

“Lil,” Jody said, switching tone. “In all seriousness, what are the chances that Grier will even consider moving? He’s got too much invested in this state.”

“You’re right. It’s a lovely fantasy that will remain unrealized.”

“Not unless something changes.”

“Such as?”

“I have no idea. Keep me posted, though.”

“Thanks ever so.”

“Do you want breakfast?”

“No, I think I’ll try and sleep for a few hours. I’m exhausted.”

“Do tell.”

“In your dreams, buddy.”

“You used to badger me all the time about divulging details of my sex life,” Jody protested.

“And, as I recall, you never said shit.”

“But you’re always so brutally honest.”

“Not this time.”

“Wow. You really do care about him, don’t you?”

“Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said?”

“Sheesh… I have no words….”

“Then let’s use your immortal ‘whateverthefuck’.”

 

 

BY THE time Grier got back to Elk Grove Village from downtown, it was seven forty-five, and Santino was already dressed and pacing. “Where have you been?”

“Out.”

“Well, go and get ready. We have a long day ahead of us.”

“Going,” Grier murmured. He hadn’t a clue how he would survive the next few hours after spending half the night making love. Once all the disclosures were out of the way, he and Lil couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and they’d gone another two rounds before falling into a deep sleep, only to be awakened by the alarm clock Lil had set for him.

“Meet someone new?” Santino queried as they finally made their way onto the I-90 west continuing onto the I-94 before merging onto US-53 north heading toward Wisconsin. They were moving a family from Mount Prospect, a suburb near Elk Grove, to Eau Claire, a five-and-a-half-hour drive. Grier wanted no part of it, but he was stuck and had to endure the ride, and the eventual output of energy. Fortunately, the other guys had loaded up the truck yesterday, so all he had to deal with was loading his Harley onto the vehicle, so he’d have it later on when Santino dropped him off at the Taste. He planned to sleep all the way after he played twenty questions with his father, who was more than happy to drive the monster truck, a job he still seemed to enjoy.

“Yes,” Grier mumbled.

“What does she do?”

“She’s a he, Dad.”

“What did you say?” Santino boomed, shocking Grier, who was half-asleep and too tired to realize he was outing himself.

“Oh, fuck.”

“I thought that monkey business was over and done with!”

“Not hardly,” Grier said, gearing up for a fight.

“You mean to tell me you’re still a queer?”

“Still?” Grier sassed. “Being gay is like being pregnant, Dad. Either you are, or you aren’t.”

“Goddamn it, Grier! I thought you’d put that all behind you?”

Grier bit his tongue, dying to say something vulgar in response to his father’s question, but he knew it would only get uglier and give the poor man a good reason to throw him out of the truck, and possibly his house. “Dad, this isn’t the time or the place to discuss this.”

“When are we going to talk about it? You’re hardly ever around.”

“I’m never around because I’m working, and when I’m not working, I’m babysitting.”

“I know, but you and I never spend time together anymore.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

“What’s wrong with now?”

“I’m beat. I need to sleep, or I’ll be useless when we get to Eau Claire.”

“Too tired from messing around all night with your guy?”

“Let it go, Dad.” Grier sighed. He was so not in the mood for this shit. He had no idea why he’d outed himself. Maybe it had to do with Lil and his feelings for him, which were so intense Grier was at a loss. He’d never felt this way for anyone, and knowing that Lil would be leaving in five days was making him say and do things that were reckless. A case in point was this blunder, which was going to make this a miserable ride.

“I’m shutting up,” Santino grumbled, “but rest assured, this is not the end of it.”

“Sleepy…,” Grier murmured and turned away, leaning up against the window. He was out in a second.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Santino was true to his word and didn’t bring up the subject again. They completed the move in less than two hours, a record for such a large load, but Grier was anxious to get back and moved like a man possessed.

He slept on the trip home, avoiding another round of questions, and had Santino drop him and his bike off at Grant Park before the big truck lumbered back to Elk Grove. Now that he’d had several hours of rest, he could think about the conversation with his dad and was actually relieved that he’d finally brought the subject out in the open. If nothing else, it would start a discussion, and who knew? A positive outcome might be possible, something he’d never anticipated.

The booth was packed with people clamoring for their taste of Vinita ice cream, and he squeezed in between Jillian and Jake and got to work. “Where’s Luca?” he asked Jillian.

“He’s with my mom.”

“Isn’t he coming?”

“Not tonight. You wore him out yesterday.”

Grier slanted a look. “We went to the zoo, Jill. How tiring was that?”

“Who is this Lil person he keeps talking about?”

“He’s a friend.”

“Luca was quite taken by him.”

“He’s a great guy.”

“Is this relationship serious?”

“Does it matter?”

Jillian shrugged. “Not really.”

“He’s picking me up at ten so you can meet him.”

“I don’t care, Grier.” Jillian turned and tossed her hair, a classic Jillian move guaranteed to get under his skin.

“Why are you so pissed?” He reached for her arm and pulled her back.

“Since when have you introduced Luca to your dates?” Jillian asked, glaring at him angrily. “I don’t like it.”

“Why?” Grier was instantly on guard. She’d never questioned him on who he dated or Luca’s care before, leaving him to babysit for hours on end without hesitation. Now, suddenly, he was suspect?

“I think Ali is right,” Jillian said. “Luca is older now and more aware of people. I don’t want you to subject him to your sexual preferences.”

“You know damn well being gay is not a preference.”

“Tomatoes, tomahtoes… it’s semantics, Grier. Bottom line is you suck cock, and I’d rather he not be exposed to your friends, or whatever you call them.”

Grier felt the blood rush to his head. He couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Although she’d never bought into the idea of his being gay, she’d never been disrespectful about it, and right now she sounded homophobic.

“We need to talk about this seriously.”

“Talk about what?” she asked innocently.

“About my rights.”

She laughed. “You have no rights, Grier.”

He dragged her over to the far end of the booth, where no one could hear them. “As his father, I have every right.”

“He. Has. No. Father.”

“Bullshit!”

“On paper it’s a big unknown, and that’s what counts in court,” Jillian challenged.

“Where is this coming from, Jillian?”

“I’m just protecting him, Grier,” Jillian’s eyes sparkled. “You don’t seem to care anything about his future.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Who is this guy you’re going out with? You’ve never had a relationship before, at least none you’ve brought around. Are you going to leave and make me fend for myself?”

“Is that all you’re worried about? Losing a babysitter?”

“No,” she protested.

“And since when have you and Ali become an item?”

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“Fuck!”

“I didn’t think so,” Jillian spat. “So what does it matter?”

“Anything that involves Luca is a matter of importance. Ali now thinks he’s an expert on childcare because he’s dating you? Has he ever offered to watch my son before this?”

“Stop calling him your son!” Jillian hissed, stepping so close he could smell her breath. She’d had hotdogs recently, and it made him nauseous. Still, he wasn’t going to back off.

“He is my kid, Jillian, and don’t fucking forget it!”