CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

On the second day after her wedding, Sarah awoke, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and sat up. The events of the last few days came rushing back to haunt her. She groaned. She hadn’t seen Christian yesterday. He’d left early and been gone till long after she’d retired. She’d spent the day alternately worrying and exploring her new home. She’d met all the servants and spoken at length to the housekeeper. Being the lady of a great home was a role she’d been born to. It seemed only natural that she begin immediately. Everyone had been perfectly lovely and welcoming. She was already feeling at home.

When Christian hadn’t returned by dinnertime, she began to regret her last words to him. I never want to see you again. They were harsh and said in anger and untrue. Of course she wanted to see him again. They were married, for heaven’s sake. They needed to speak. They needed to decide their future. The night of their wedding, Lucy’s words had hammered in Sarah’s skull. You must not allow life to happen to you. She’d decided that day that she wasn’t going to allow life to happen to her. Not anymore. Never again. Do as you’re told, Sarah. Those words held no power over her any longer. She’d been angry. She’d been sad. She’d been a hundred other things. But she wasn’t about to marry someone she didn’t want to marry. She’d sooner flee to Scotland again and never return. And so it was with a fully determined—if still outraged—mind that she’d stood in front of the archbishop that night and allowed the wedding to proceed. But when they’d arrived at his town house and Christian had shown her to her room, the anger she’d felt earlier had flared and she’d lashed out at him. She hadn’t expected him to take her words so literally.

Her gaze fell on a note sitting on her bedside table. It was folded and sealed with Christian’s stamp. Dread clutched her heart. She slowly pulled it off the table and unfolded it, breaking the seal with her finger. Christian’s handwriting filled the page.

Dearest Sarah,

I know you have no wish to see or hear from me. I intend to honor your request. I’m going to Northumbria for a few days and then on to Scotland. It’s inadequate, I know, but my deepest apologies for everything I’ve done. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me. For what it’s worth, I do love you, hopelessly.

Christian

Tears spilled down Sarah’s cheeks, and she read the letter over and over. He loved her? He loved her, the lout? He’d handled everything awfully and been a complete idiot, but none of that mattered anymore. He loved her.

But he was gone. She’d driven him away with her disapproval. What did she expect him to do when she’d told him she never wanted to see him again? He thought he was giving her what she wanted, what she’d requested. Oh, she’d made a complete mess of things, too. They were quite a pair, the two of them.

She rang for her maid and promptly dressed. Then she set about writing a letter of her own.

*   *   *

At precisely four o’clock that afternoon, the traveling chaise of the Duchess of Claringdon pulled to a stop in front of Christian’s town house. Lucy, Cass, Jane, and Meg alighted.

As soon as the ladies were ensconced in the silver salon, Lucy wasted no time in announcing why they’d come.

“I received your letter, dear, asking for our help. Of course you may have it. We realize what Berkeley did was a bit of a problem for your reputation, but nothing a duchess, a countess, and a future countess can’t overcome. We know everyone who’s anyone in the ton, and we’ve begun courting favor with our friends. We’ve already told half the town how your poor thwarted love story has ended happily after all and you’re properly married now, so who really cares? All’s well that ends well.”

Sarah blinked at them. “You’re here to … stop the scandal?”

“Of course, why else did you think we’d come?” Lucy asked.

“We want to help you, Sarah,” Cass said softly.

Meanwhile, Jane was helping herself to tea cake.

“We’d like to help Meg here, too, if only she would stop being so stubborn and allow us to purchase a few new gowns for her,” Lucy added.

“I appreciate the thought, Your Grace,” Meg replied with a wide smile, “but we’re here for Sarah at the moment.”

Sarah bit her lip. “I wanted to … I mean, I … The ton will truly accept that story?” She felt silly and didn’t want to admit why she’d asked them to come.

Lucy flourished a hand in the air. “The secret is, darling, that most of the most respectable people in the ton, including Cass and Jane and myself, have extremely scandalous stories of how we met our husbands. Everyone’s a bit willing to be forgiven when they’ve needed it themselves a time or two.”

Sarah shook her head. “I never knew.”

Cass blushed a little. Jane merely shrugged.

“Of course you didn’t, dear,” Lucy continued. “That’s what’s so lovely about it. It’s all easily forgotten and swept under the rug once a nice tidy wedding takes place, and you’ve already done that.”

“Ooh, what did you do, Lucy?” Meg asked, helping herself to a tea cake, too.

“Stories for another time, dear,” Lucy said to Meg with a wink.

Sarah smoothed her skirts. “That certainly makes me less worried. But I’m still afraid Father will never forgive me.”

“Oh, pishposh. Your father will forgive you once he’s bouncing his first grandbaby on his knee. I’m certain of it,” Lucy said.

“It’s true,” Cass added.

“Babies do tend to be peacemakers,” Jane said. “Or so I’m told.”

“Forgive us for not coming sooner and putting your mind to rest, but we thought we’d give the two of you a bit of privacy on your first day or two as a married couple.” Lucy waggled her eyebrows. “Then I received your letter and, well, here we are. Now where is the happy newly wedded bridegroom?” She glanced about for Christian.

Shame flooded through Sarah. She was certain she was bright red. There was no way around it, she’d have to admit the truth to her friends. “He’s … not here.”

Lucy blinked. “Not here? Whatever can you mean? He can’t have already left for an outing. Why, the two of you should still be indecently in bed all day.”

More red heat. Sarah pressed her hands to her cheeks.

Meg blushed, too.

“Lucy!” Cass scolded.

Jane Upton merely rolled her eyes and helped herself to more tea cake.

“Not only is he not here,” Sarah admitted miserably, tugging at the collar of her gown, “but we…” She gulped and looked away. “We…”

“Go on, out with it, dear. It can’t be that bad,” Lucy prompted.

“It’s worse than bad,” Sarah said, meeting each lady’s gaze in turn.

“Oh, dear.” Cass came over and patted her hand. “It’s all right. You can tell us.”

“You are under absolutely no obligation to tell us anything,” Jane offered.

“No, no. I want to. I need to. I need your advice,” Sarah said.

“Of course you do,” Lucy replied, giving Jane a dirty look. “Go on, dear,” she prompted Sarah.

“Cover your ears, Meg.”

Meg did as she was told. Sarah took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She needed to tell them, but she didn’t have to see them while she told them. “We haven’t con-consummated our marriage,” she blurted out, then bent over and hid her face in her hands.

There was a slight gasp—she wasn’t certain from which lady—but soon she felt Cass’s comforting pat again. “There, there. It’s not so bad as that.”

Sarah sat up again and opened her eyes. Lucy motioned to Meg to uncover her ears.

“I’m so ashamed,” Sarah whimpered. “I’ve been such an awful wife to him and he … he…”

“He what?” Lucy asked, sympathy in her voice.

“He left for Northumbria,” Sarah managed through a dry throat.

“What!” Lucy plunked her hands on her hips, looking positively outraged.

“He left for Northumbria. This morning.” Sarah slowly dragged the note from her pocket and handed it to Lucy. “Here. This explains it all.”

Lucy read the note aloud so the others could hear, and when she finished she shook her head and clucked her tongue. “That coward. How could he run from you?”

“I’ve run from him often enough. Besides, he’s not a coward,” Sarah admitted miserably. “He was just doing as I asked.”

Cass’s head snapped up. “You asked him to leave?”

“I didn’t know he’d go to Scotland, but I told him on our wedding night that I…” Sarah made a small moaning noise in the back of her throat. “I told him I never wanted to see him again. Oh, I’ve ruined everything.”

“There, there,” Cass repeated. “You haven’t ruined everything.”

“Not at all,” Meg stated loyally.

“Yes, I have. He’s left me and he loves the north. He may never return,” Sarah said.

Lucy, who had been busily tapping a finger against her cheek, obviously plotting, pointed a finger in the air. “It’s true, he may never come back, unless he has a reason.”

“What reason?” Sarah asked, brightening a bit.

“I can’t think of a good reason,” Lucy replied.

Sarah’s shoulders slumped again.

“But I can think of an alternate plan,” Lucy said, a smile slowly spreading across her face.