Penelope
The feel of his palm against mine would be forever imprinted on my mind. It wasn’t a normal hand holding.
It felt…personal.
Raw.
It felt like something I never wanted to share with anyone else. Even the thought of talking about it out loud seemed to take away the specialness of it.
We hadn’t talked about it.
Bella had at one point looked over at us and smiled.
And then Eric had promptly thrown cake at Malcom’s face, shattering the moment as Trevor sighed and went. “Looks like I’m up.”
I helped him clean up Malcom and made my way back to the barbecue to grab a plate of food. Bella came with me and Eric trailed behind.
“I hope he’s paying you overtime for this,” Drew said as he handed me a plate and then took Bella out of my arms and held her.
I frowned. “Overtime? What are you talking about?”
Drew gave me an odd look. He’d been telling me funny stories about Trevor and the rest of the band on the road, stories that made me greedy for more Trevor, which was basically the worst idea on the planet at this point. I was already getting too attached, wasn’t I?
“Bella, why don’t you go sit next to Uncle Will and Aunt Angelica for a bit? You too, Malcom.” Drew said. They both sprinted in the opposite direction. I made sure they actually listened to him and then faced Drew in curiosity.
“Look.” He licked his full lips. “It’s a good thing, what you’re doing for Trevor. I just don’t want him to take advantage of you.”
“Take advantage,” I repeated, feeling almost embarrassed. “I like the kids, love them actually. I was a teacher. I’ve always loved kids, and he needs help. That’s all this is. Plus, I don’t really think about it as a job, you know?”
His eyes widened. “You do realize they set their last nanny on fire?”
I laughed.
He joined in and shook his dark hair. “Yeah, you should get hazard pay.”
“They’re harmless.” I shrugged as Malcom tripped over his own feet and face planted in his hot dog. It fell onto the grass, Will picked it up and dusted it off then made a face at Malcom, which I’m sure prevented Malcom from crying.
“So harmless,” Drew echoed. “So, should we go out?”
My smile dropped as I turned and frowned at him. “I’m sorry, what?”
“On a date.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Food’s usually involved, intelligent conversation on both sides, possibly more on yours, since I like to hear your voice. What do you say?”
“No,” Trevor’s voice answered for me. “She says no.”
Drew gave him a murderous look. “No offense, man, but she’s the nanny, not your girlfriend.”
I flinched.
I hated that he was right.
“Exactly,” Trevor said through clenched teeth. “My kids’ nanny, my employee, which means hands off.”
“Funny.” Drew crossed his arms.
“What?”
“You should listen to yourself and then go take a long hard look in the mirror. Just because you can’t have her doesn’t mean you can keep her away from someone who could.” He smirked at both of us and then saluted Trevor with his middle finger and walked off toward Ty and Linc.
“Sorry about that,” Trevor murmured. “He means well.”
I turned and glared. “I get that you’re my boss, but that doesn’t mean you get to dictate what I do off the clock, right?”
His eyes widened. “Yes. No. I mean—” He gulped. “He’s a player. He’s not good, not for you.”
I pressed my lips together. “And that’s your call to make because…?”
He stared me down, his eyes heated.
I almost backed away.
But I was frustrated.
Frustrated that Drew was right.
Frustrated that he saw right through it all.
Frustrated that Trevor was the kind of guy who would stay in a perpetual state of sexual frustration before acting on anything.
“I need a drink,” he finally muttered before leaving me standing there, alone and wondering where it all went wrong between the hand holding and the arguing.
Stewing, I sat on the nearest chair, only to have Will plop right down next to me. How was this my life? That the lead singer, one of the most famous guys in the world, was suddenly sitting next to me eating potato chips and shooting the breeze. I mean, I’d been surrounded by a lot of these guys but this was next level.
All of them were A list.
Every last one.
No B list allowed, it seemed.
“So,” Will exhaled. “All I’m going to say is this, he feels everything.”
“What?” I craned my neck.
Will was wearing glasses, which just added to the GQ effect of his tight ripped jeans and black tank. He had bracelets wrapped around each wrist and a wedding ring on his left ring finger. It was the only part about him that looked domesticated. The guy had gone into hiding it seemed and then came back on the scene with his entire band spouting out Grammys like they’d never taken any time off, except to turn into men with muscles and killer smiles.
The world wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t ready.
“Trevor.” Will leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “He feels everything. Most musicians do. I swear none of us can even have a crush without falling so hard that it’s almost embarrassing. It’s all or nothing with us, we all grew up on the road, didn’t experience life the way normal people do. When we dated, it was almost always famous people who wanted something from us. Normal was crashing someone’s prom for a TV show, normal was finishing high school on a tour bus, normal was snorting cocaine before the show so we didn’t fall asleep on stage. What I’m saying is, he doesn’t react the same way a normal guy would because he’s not normal. None of us are, and if you think we are, then you’re lying to yourself. You’ve known Linc for a while, you’ve known Alec and Demetri just as long. You forget how famous they are because they’re like family. You’re in this little cocoon of Seaside or, what was it? Wyoming? Montana?”
I made a face.
He just laughed. “Walk down the street with him, just once. Not during the morning when everyone is still getting up, but at night, rush hour, watch the stares he gets, the pictures people ask to take. His life isn’t his own. And the sick part is that he’s right in the middle of one of the biggest divorce scandals to hit Hollywood, and you’re sitting there wondering why he can’t just step out on a ledge and do more than hold your hand—”
“I wasn’t…” Shame washed over me. Because he was right.
“All it takes is one picture of holding your hand and you’re in this, and he’s known you what? A few days? And you want him to do something stupid like ask you on a date? We aren’t all Drew.”
I smiled at that. “Drew seems the most carefree.”
“Because he’s in the most pain.” Will looked away. “I know we don’t know each other, I just didn’t want you to think it was you or that there was anything wrong with you. This is a legit not-you-but-him scenario. Do yourself a favor, all right?”
“What?” I leaned forward.
“Just be there for him. Watch the kids, make sure they don’t set you on fire like the last one, and be there for him. And if you like Drew, go out with Drew. Nobody’s stopping you.”
“But Trevor said—”
“Trevor’s still in love with his ex-wife,” Will said softly. “She’s the mother of his children, and it’s been a year. If you like Drew, go out with him. And let Trevor just…figure his shit out.”
“So basically you’re explaining to me in the kindest way that you can—”
“It won’t work, not right now, Penelope.”
“You’re the oldest, aren’t you?” I smiled over at him. “Like the patriarch of the band?”
“Patriarch makes me sound old. Do I really look that old?” He grinned.
I burst out laughing. “No, if anything, it’s like you guys are aging backwards.”
“Happens when you make a deal with a vampire.” He stood, and then leaned over and kissed me on the top of my head. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be exactly what he needs.”
“But?”
“But.” He shrugged. “Timing’s a real bitch.”
“Yeah,” I croaked.
And locked eyes with Trevor as he took a swig of beer. He didn’t look away, just stared me down like he could see my soul.
Seconds later, Drew was blocking my view of Trevor, and he was grinning like he already knew what I was going to say.
“Let me guess, you changed your mind?” He tilted his head with a beautiful smile spreading across his face.
“Maybe.” My eyes narrowed. “But just as friends.”
His face fell.
“You do know what that is right?”
“You’re killing me.”
“You’ll be fine.” I patted him on the shoulder. “Besides, you don’t want me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“The heart wants what it wants.” I grinned. “And I’m pretty sure the last thing on this planet you want is to settle down.”
His eyebrows shot up as he leaned in and whispered against my ear, “Wrong.”