Trevor
“Daaaaaaad,” Eric yelled as he bounded down the stairs. “Can I play some video games?”
I was well on my fourth cup of coffee.
It was about an hour until Penny was supposed to show up.
And I felt like shit.
Worse than shit.
And as much as I wanted to blame it on the fact that I’d confused Penny and was mentally exhausted—I knew it was worse than that.
I was getting sick.
I never got sick.
My hands were clammy as I lifted the mug to my lips and sipped, then I grimaced and nodded. “Yeah, buddy.”
The next hour went by painfully slow, partially because I missed her even though I shouldn’t, and partially because the more seconds that passed the sicker I got, to the point that I finally lay on the couch next to Eric and told Malcom to keep an eye on Bella.
My throat burned, and my body ached. I turned on my side, and the next thing I knew tiny hands were shaking me awake. “Is he dead?”
“Let’s hope not,” Penny said with amusement in her voice. “Why don’t you guys go upstairs and wash your hands, and I’ll take you all out for lunch. How does that sound?”
“Hooray!” They all let out little screams of excitement as if they’d been prisoners in their own home. I would have rolled my eyes had I had the energy.
Cold fingertips pressed against my forehead. “Trevor?”
“Penny.” I rasped her name. Damn she was pretty and I wasn’t even staring at her. I could feel her though, feel her beauty through her skin. Wait, was that even possible? “Penny?”
“I’m here.” Something cold and wet hit my forehead. “I think you have a fever. I’m going to get you some Tylenol to bring it down, okay?”
“So hot,” I grumbled and then gripped her wrist. “You feel cold.”
“Because you’re sick,” she said softly. “I’m sorry I’m late. It was busy at the coffee shop, something about Adrenaline doing a free concert.”
I snorted out a laugh. “We need music to do that.”
“Well, you could use your old stuff, though I’m not sure how the rumor got started.”
“You and Drew.” I might be delirious, but even I knew how easy it was to assume things, like the fact that she was out with Drew the night before and worked at a coffee shop that often had free mic night. “People like to draw conclusions. People are stupid, like his ego could even fit in that shit hole.”
“Excuse me?”
My eyes surged open, temples pounding, “Penny, no, not—that’s not what I—”
“You think I work in a shit hole?” She stood and crossed her arms.
No, I needed her to sit back down.
To touch me with her fingertips.
To talk to me and make me feel better.
“I’m sick, I’m not thinking clearly.” I knew I was already screwed by the hurt expression on her face. “Penny, please.”
“No,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “You’re right, it’s better this way, better to know how you really feel. I’m the hired help, and I work in a shit hole.” Her smile was sad. “Kids, you ready?”
“Penny, just wait—” I tried to sit up but my skull felt like it was on fire, and I winced and fell back.
“I’m going to text your egotistical friend and let him know you can’t make it to the studio this afternoon, then I’m going to let your bandmates know that they need to pay their final respects.”
“I’m sick, not dying.”
She glared. “We’ll. See.”
“You plan on killing me for insulting you?”
“If the fever doesn’t get you then yes, it’s a huge possibility. You don’t have to be an asshole just because you’re sick, and just because you’re loaded doesn’t mean you get to make fun of where I work, got it?”
“I think the neighbors even got it, could you please keep your voice down?” I saw three of her. Still beautiful, even as triplets. “Penny? Would you look at me?”
“No. I’m pissed at you!”
“Dad, what’s pissed mean?” Malcom bounded down the stairs followed by Bella and Eric, each of them looking at me expectantly. I groaned and pulled a throw-pillow over my head.
“Who wants McDonald’s?” She clapped her hands. Loudly. The next thing I knew all of the kids were running out the door and she was sending me one last sad look over her shoulder.
Sleep overtook me again.
I dreamed of her smile.
And then we were kissing, my tongue was in her mouth, and it was perfect. I pressed her against the fridge, things tumbled inside, I picked her up by the hips and mauled her, not realizing how soft her hair was or her skin. It was everything I wanted and knew I couldn’t have.
“Is that for me?” Drew’s voice jolted me out of my slumber. I blinked up to see him hovering over me with a giant grin on his face and his phone pointed down south. “Because I feel like that breaks at least ten rules of friendship.”
“Huh?”
He pointed.
I covered myself with the throw pillow. My head was still pounding, and the sound of tiny feet running around the house was nowhere to be found.
I hated it.
Just like I hated the fact that Penny had left pissed off.
And now I was having arousing dreams about the off-limits nanny.
Perfect.
“I’m sick. Go away.” I waved him off.
Instead, just like the plague, he stayed and plopped himself down on the couch across from me. “So your girl sounded upset when she called.”
“She was supposed to text,” I grumbled, rubbing my temples with my fingertips. “Could we not do this right now?”
“How’s she taste?”
“The hell?” I looked up. “One more word and I’m going to impale you with my drumsticks.”
“Ouch.” He grinned and spread his arms wide. “Where would our band be without me?”
“At this point, I don’t really care.” I lay back down and kicked him with both feet.
“Someone’s upset.” He sighed. “Look, the guys went to the studio, laid down some really good tracks, and worked on the two we were messing with yesterday. Career-wise we’re on top of things, you’re on top of things, but personally…”
I groaned. “Personally, what?”
“You’re a mess.”
“Why are you here again?”
“Pretty Penelope said if she came back and saw you sleeping she might suffocate you and she didn’t want to go to prison for murder. I’m here to save your life. You’re welcome.”
A few beats of silence went by before I admitted, “I accidentally called the coffee shop she works at a shit hole.”
Drew burst out laughing. “You’re an idiot.”
“I’m delirious and exhausted, I have a fever, big difference,” I pointed out as I blindly reached for the glass of water that had been left on the coffee table, probably by Penny. Even in her anger, she was taking care of me.
Damn it!
“You gotta make it up to her.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“Hell if I know. I’ve never been in a committed relationship. The only girl I ever got close to is currently marrying one of our lead singers, so….”
“Right.” We never talked about his past.
The animosity between Drew and Will still existed like this disease that refused to fully leave the body, so we left it alone. At least they got along and could be friends again, as long as they didn’t talk about it.
The drugs, the partying, the cheating.
We kept it all under the rug where it belonged.
Where, frankly, Drew protected it like a baby.
He said if he let it out, it made it real.
And he wasn’t sure he could handle his own truth.
I didn’t blame him.
I could barely tolerate mine.
“Am I an asshole?” I asked, probably the wrong person, but whatever.
“Not always,” he said with a shrug. “I would say you’re the least assholey of all of us. How’s that make you feel?”
“Honestly, not well.” I groaned into my hands. “Because you’re a dick.”
“Thanks, man.” Drew released a sinister laugh. “Look, she’s with the kids. In fact, they’ve been gone three hours, they went to Mc Donald’s then the aquarium. If you ask me, she deserves more money than whatever you’re paying her, plus her place is completely ruined. I stopped by today, and she isn’t moving back in, not for a long ass time.” He was quiet and then, “You’re loaded. What could you possibly do that would make this situation better for her? Easier?”
“Uhhhhhh…” My mind drew a blank, but then I suggested, “Buy her a house?”
“Sometimes I wonder why they call you the mature one,” Drew muttered. “No, dumbass, but you could treat her. Flowers aren’t something girls buy for themselves. Hell, you could even give her a raise and demand she go shopping, make her feel special, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I do not know how to do that as her friend,” I admitted. “Not after tasting her—”
“Then—” he interrupted pointedly “—you better figure it out, and soon, because she’s going to be back in about five minutes.”
“Shit.”
“Good luck!” He jumped to his feet and walked to the door. “For what it’s worth, I never stood a chance.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I frowned in his direction.
“She likes you, man.” He sobered. “Hell if I know why she prefers a single dad with three messy kids over this.” He gestured along the length of his body with a laugh. “But she does, so the least you can do is figure your shit out and fast.”
The door slammed behind him.
I stared into the silence.
Hating it even more.
I wanted loud.
I wanted my kids.
I wanted Penny in my kitchen.
I wanted what I was terrified to have.
And I was petrified that if I touched her more, I’d ruin what shaky ground we were already on.
I had kids to think about.
Drew didn’t.
I quickly ran upstairs and tried to freshen up a bit. I looked like hell, but I only had enough energy to put on a fresh shirt, brush my teeth, and make it back downstairs.
And just as Drew had promised, minutes later the kids came bounding into the house in a mixture of coats flying, shoes getting pulled off, shoving, and then yelling about dibs on the video games.
Penny rounded the corner with a tired smile on her face.
“Massage,” I blurted.
She stilled. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” She threw her hands in the air. The kids ran past her up the stairs. Each of them had a bag. She must have taken them to a store too. “My feet ache, you kiss me then tell me nothing can happen, basically push me toward your bandmate, then let me stay with you, almost kiss me again, tell me no, insult my work, and now you want me to massage you?”
“You done yet?” I grinned.
She glared.
“I meant massage for you. You need a massage, and since I’m feeling a little bit better, I figured I could at least, you know…” I gulped.
She gaped and then nodded slowly, her cheeks pinking. “Yeah, um, let me just get the kids down for a nap and…” She begrudgingly muttered sorry under her breath and walked past me, then tripped on the first stair.
“You all right?”
“Yup!” She ran up the rest of them and minutes later returned with a bottle of lotion and handed it to me.
“Ah, getting fancy on me?” I teased.
“Are you really feeling better?” she countered.
I sat up and shrugged. Honestly, no. My head was pounding and I still felt delirious, but I couldn’t decipher if it was because I was going to touch her again or if I was still sick.
“Sit down.” I decided not to answer her.
“Where?” She put her hands on her hips.
“Right here.” I pointed to the space on the floor right in front of my legs and then opened them a bit. Maybe this was a bad idea, the touching.
She quickly moved to the floor and sat between my legs. My knees were next to her head and all I kept thinking was that it would be so easy to tug her up against me, to kiss the back of her neck and grip her ass with both hands.
Focus.
Her hair was already in a ponytail, which for some reason made me sad. I wanted to touch it, to move it out of the way, to feel its weight in my hand.
I cleared my throat and started massaging her shoulders.
She hung her head forward. “That feels amazing.”
Yeah, it did.
I was supposed to be doing something for her and already it was doing something for me, to me.
I stopped and grabbed some lotion then spread it across her neck, careful not to get it on her shirt. I massaged deep and ran my hands down her bare shoulders. A flimsy strap stood in the way of full skin-on-skin contact.
I hated that strap more than I hated Drew, and that was saying a lot.
She moaned and then her head fell back against my lap. I kept rubbing her neck then moved upwards, until I got to her face, my knuckles grazing her jaw.
Her eyelashes fluttered open. “What are we doing?”
“You’re sitting. I’m massaging.”
“Right.” She looked like she didn’t believe me.
The yearning was too much. Maybe the sickness made me weak. Maybe I’d just been weak all along.
“I’m sorry.” I licked my lips. “For what I said.”
“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” She stared up at me, her head resting in my lap, my hands touching her.
Tense silence descended.
And so did my head.
Lower, lower, until I captured her lips in a punishing kiss. She wrapped her arms back around my head as I deepened the kiss.
She broke away from me, turned, and crawled into my lap.
This. This was what I wanted.
What I needed.
I groaned against her mouth. “I’m better at this when I’m not sick and running a fever.”
“I…” She kissed down my neck. “Believe…” She nipped my lower lip. “You.”
“God, you taste good.”
“You said—”
“Forget what I said,” I whispered against her mouth. “Just don’t make me stop kissing you. I don’t think I could handle it.”
“Well, you are sick….”
“Yes, feel sorry for me, kiss it better.” I grinned as I angled my head to get more of her taste.
“I’ll try” was her response.
And try she fucking did.