Lynx
I could practically hear the gears turning as she contemplated her answer. I could be a total caveman and toss her over my shoulder, tie her to my bed, and not give her a choice in whether or not I claimed her. It would be a mistake. There were women who would accept their fate and go on to have perfectly happy lives. Not my Merry. No. If I tried that with her, I’d lose her. Even if she were here physically, she’d retreat within herself, or try to keep me at a distance. This needed to be her choice.
Would she ever tell me what drove her to be so careless with her life? Any of the men she’d hooked up with could have hurt her, even killed her. Had a specific event pushed to her this point? Or something else? I wondered if she’d ever been checked for any mental illnesses. Probably not the first thing most people considered, but I hadn’t exactly led a normal life. My mother and father had tried to sell my sister Ridley into sexual slavery. There’d been times I’d seen our mother spiraling. Something she managed to hide from most people, including my big sister. When I’d gone snooping one time, I’d discovered a bunch of prescriptions in her room.
At the time, I’d been too young to understand. Then my parents were gone, and I’d been shipped off elsewhere. Ridley had her life to live, and taking care of me would have been too much for her. She’d barely been legal back then. Years later, I’d looked up some of those medications to figure out why my mother needed them. Anxiety. Borderline Personality Disorder. And painkillers. A lot of them. I’d wondered if her issues had made it easier for my father to manipulate and control her. She couldn’t have been entirely rotten before meeting him. Ridley and I turned out okay, and since we had different fathers, I had to assume our mother had once been a decent person.
Meredith remained silent, and I realized her breathing had evened out. All the crying must have worn her out. I lifted her into my arms and stood, then carried her down the hall to my room. I eased her down onto the bed, removed her shoes, then covered her with a blanket. She looked like an angel when she slept. I smoothed her hair back from her face and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead.
“Rest now,” I murmured. There would be time later to hear her answer. Whatever she chose, I needed to get her out of the clubhouse. While I knew my brothers wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, the whores were another matter. If one started shit today, there were bound to be others who’d step up and try to intimidate her. What would happen if they caught her on a day when she was ready to self-destruct? Then there was the baby to consider.
I didn’t want to betray her by saying anything. If she’d wanted the club to know, she’d have told Atilla or Spade. And yet, if I kept silent, they couldn’t properly protect her. They had no idea she could lose her baby. I couldn’t believe she’d thought I was a big enough asshole I’d hate a child just because they weren’t of my blood. Or rather, she seemed to feel any man wouldn’t accept her baby as their own. Since I knew she’d grown up with Grizzly, it couldn’t have anything to do with her upbringing.
“You’re one big puzzle, sweetheart. A human Rubik’s Cube. Maybe one day, I’ll get you figured out.”
So I wouldn’t wake her, I left the room and busied myself in the kitchen. I had no idea if she’d eaten dinner or not. Atilla sent me out on a short run when I’d returned with Merry earlier, and I hadn’t seen her until the incident tonight at the clubhouse. Would she be hungry when she woke up?
I rummaged through my fridge and cabinets, trying to figure out what she might like, when the phone rang. I saw Outlaw’s name on the screen and answered.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Checking in on Meredith,” he said. “Her dad didn’t hear from her today and he got worried, even though he’s trying not to show it. Not sure he realizes several of us know about his daily talks with her.”
“Why hide it?”
“Because of how she acted before she left. A lot of people feel betrayed. They believed in her, and on top of that, they didn’t want to upset Grizzly, so they tried to push her and Doolittle together. Man, that was some fucked-up shit.”
I hadn’t heard the entire story. Only bits and pieces. Not my business, in all honesty. Yeah, it had to do with Meredith, so I wanted to ask questions, but I didn’t want her to feel like I’d gone behind her back either. Right now, I needed to gain her trust. I thought I was on the right track.
“She’s asleep right now.”
“And how do you know that?” he asked.
“Because I carried her to my room after she fell asleep on the couch.” No point telling him I’d been holding her, or how she’d fallen apart. The goal was for the Devil’s Fury to worry less about Meredith. They needed to realize she was doing okay and would be fine without them -- even if it was a big, fat lie. Otherwise, she’d feel trapped. Even now, she’d probably been trying to figure out what she needed to do in order to gain their approval so she could go home.
“Anything I need to know about?” Outlaw asked. “Or your sister?”
“Nope. Just keeping an eye on her.” For now. “And even if there was something going on, it would be up to her to tell you. I’m not her father or her keeper, Outlaw.”
“Just don’t drop any big bombs on Grizzly.”
There had to be more going on than anyone was saying. Why did everyone seem so concerned about how he’d react to things? Almost as if they were walking on eggshells around the man. He wasn’t their president anymore. Did he have health problems? If that was the case, I could understand why they didn’t want it to be common knowledge. The man wouldn’t want to seem weak in front of other clubs. Still, he had to be getting up there in years. No one could last forever.
“I don’t plan to tell him anything. Whatever gets said it’s between him and Meredith. I’m only here to make sure she stays safe.”
Outlaw sighed. “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to claim her?”
“No idea what you’re talking about.”
“Uh-huh. You pretty much just confirmed it. Listen, if you decide to keep Meredith as your old lady, do me a favor… bring her home for a visit soon. Grizzly misses the hell out of that girl, even if she doesn’t realize it.”
“Thought no one wanted her there,” I said.
“Tension is still high, but she can’t stay gone forever. Besides, we’re all as much to blame as she is. If any of us had listened to Doolittle all along, then we could have prevented her from getting so attached.”
Attached or obsessed? She didn’t seem like the type to chase after a man who didn’t want her, unless she’d fixated on him. She’d mentioned something about obsession before, and while I’d considered she might be too clingy for some men, I hadn’t worried about it. What if it was more?
Obsession. Reckless behavior. Anger issues. Mood swings.
I had a hunch I might know what was going on with her, but since I didn’t have a PhD in psychiatry, I wasn’t one hundred percent certain. She needed to meet with a professional. Something told me she wouldn’t volunteer for it, though. No, if I wanted someone to observe her, I’d have to be a little sneaky about it.
“I need to make a call. I’ll ask Meredith to touch base with Grizzly when she wakes up.” Before Outlaw could respond, I hung up and scrolled through the contacts on my phone. I’d helped a woman out about two years ago. She’d had a flat tire on the side of the road, and I’d stopped to change it. She’d given me her card, and we’d kept in touch. Nothing romantic ever happened between us, but I’d found her easy to talk to. Made sense considering her profession.
The phone rang a few times before she picked up. “You’ve reached Dr. Moira Stern.”
“Hey, Moira. It’s Lynx. Got a minute?”
She laughed softly. “Never, but for you, I’ll make an exception. What’s up?”
“I have someone I’d like you to meet. Off the books, if you will. If she knows who you are or what you do, I think she’ll run the other way.”
She hmm’d. “But you’re worried.”
“Yeah. Some of her behaviors could be adding up to a much larger issue. I’m not asking for an official diagnosis. I only want to know if I’m on the right track with this, and how you think it would be best to handle it. If she needs help, I want to make sure she gets it.”
“Do you finally have a girlfriend, Lynx?”
“Not exactly. Although, I’d make her mine in a heartbeat.”
“Even if she does suffer from one or more mental illnesses?” she asked.
“Of course. It’s not something she can help. Why do the women in my life seem to think I’m an asshole?”
“There’s a story there, but I don’t have time to hear it right now. Soon, though. As for your woman, I’ll be taking a coffee break at the café near my office tomorrow. If you just happen to run into me there, say around eleven o’clock, then I’d be delighted to meet her.”
“Sounds good, Moira. And thanks.”
I ended the call and hoped I could convince Meredith to go with me tomorrow. If I could help her figure out why she reacted the way she did, then maybe she could get control over herself and her life.
I went back to the cabinets and pantry, deciding on something simple. I took out some canned veggies, a package of herb and butter rice, then grabbed some pork chops from the fridge. Once I had the oven preheating, I seasoned the chops and set them aside. They were on the thicker side, so I knew they’d need an hour to cook all the way through. No sense starting the side items right away. After I got the chops into the oven, I set a timer for thirty minutes so I wouldn’t make the sides too early or too late.
Settling on the couch, I flipped through channels until I found something to watch. Even with one of my favorite movies playing, I couldn’t focus on anything other than Meredith. Maybe she wasn’t the one obsessing. Perhaps I was.
Just what she needed. A possessive asshole biker.
Then again… it really might be exactly what she needed.
Now I just had to hope she’d agree to be mine. If not, it wouldn’t matter. I couldn’t force her to stay with me. She was already knocked-up, and not by me. If the baby didn’t give her reason enough to be mine, then I didn’t know what else to do.
I heard footsteps coming down the hall and gave her a smile as she slowly entered the room, rubbing at her eyes.
“Sleep well?” I asked. I checked my phone. She’d only been asleep about twenty minutes.
“Sorry about that.” She plopped down beside me. “I guess I was more worn out than I’d realized.”
“I’m not trying to rush you but let me know when you have an answer to my question. I’ll have to tell the Pres, and he’ll probably call Badger with the news. Make sure we aren’t going to cause any issues with the Devil’s Fury.”
She twisted her fingers together in her lap. “I don’t know why you want me. I’m such a mess, Lynx. It worries me that you might wake up one day and wonder what the hell you got yourself into. At the same time, what you’re offering sounds amazing. I’m tired. So incredibly tired. Every day feels like I’m swimming upstream against a strong current, and I’m getting nowhere fast.”
I put my arm around her and hugged her to me. “I know, sweetheart. Be mine. Let me take on some of your burdens. Help lighten the load. You’re going to stress out to the point of either losing the baby, or collapsing. I don’t much care for either scenario.”
“You really want to claim the baby as yours?” she asked.
“Well, I don’t think my club will believe I knocked you up when you first arrived, but I don’t plan on telling them any different. As far as anyone else is concerned, the child is mine in every way.” I tightened my hold on her. “There’s no reason anyone needs to know otherwise. Not the officers in my club. Not your club. This can stay between you and me.”
“Spade won’t find it odd?” she asked.
“Maybe, but I don’t think he’ll say anything. He won’t care. If I say the baby is mine, that will be good enough for him.”
“All right. Then let’s do it. I’ll be yours.”
I turned her to face me and gently tipped up her chin. Slowly, I lowered my lips to hers. It was our first kiss, and she immediately melted into me. Her hands clung to my shoulders, and I felt a tremor run through her body. Despite the fact she’d been sleeping around, her kisses made it clear she didn’t have a lot of experience. Didn’t matter to me. She was mine.
“The clinic told you today about the baby, didn’t they?” I asked.
“Yeah. The STD test they ran gave results at the same time. It came back negative. The doctor asked if I wanted a more in-depth one, but since I didn’t have any symptoms, I didn’t think it was necessary.” She held my gaze. “Unless you want me to do another one?”
I shook my head. “No, if the first time came back negative, then I think you’re fine. It’s been a few weeks since you were with anyone. You’d most likely have had symptoms by now. I just asked you to get it done to be on the safe side.”
“Thank you. For caring. For paying attention and actually seeing me. And just for… everything.”
“I still want to know more, but for now, let’s just get to know each other better and find our rhythm.”
She leaned into me and snuggled close. “Okay.”
“And when it’s just the two of us, you can call me Wilson. Unless you prefer Lynx. I’m good with either. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”
“I think Lynx suits you. Wilson sounds a little too stuffy for a biker.”
I smiled. Yeah, it really was. My pretentious parents had given me that name, and I’d hated it ever since I’d realized what sort of monsters they were. I was perfectly fine with her calling me Lynx. I knew my sister still called her old man Venom, even though he’d asked her repeatedly to use his real name. Personally, I thought she did it just to push his buttons.
The timer went off and I stood. “Wait here. I have dinner cooking and need to start the next part. If you don’t like the movie that’s playing, find something else.”
“Should I go get my things?” She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Are we telling your club soon? Am I moving in right away?”
I could hear the anxiety in her voice. Crouching down, I placed my hand on her arm. “What do you want to do, Merry? Want to move in tonight?”
She nodded. I pulled out my phone and shot off a text to Atilla and Spade. I’m claiming Meredith. And no, I didn’t ask permission. Not asking for a vote.
I showed her the screen before I hit send. Atilla answered almost immediately.
Are you asking for a beating?
I knew he’d do it if he felt it was necessary. But in this instance, I thought he might be more bark than bite. Only one way to find out.
She’s pregnant. You expect me to not claim my woman and kid?
The phone rang right after the message showed as read.
“What the fucking shit is this?” Atilla asked.
“Sorry, Pres. Merry’s pregnant, and I need to claim her and our baby.”
“Motherfucker,” he muttered. “You go along, smooth sailing, not causing any issues all this time, and now you drop a fucking bomb in my lap? Fuck you, Lynx.”
“If it’s any consolation, I asked if this was what she wanted. She agreed to be mine. It’s not like I forced her.”
“Fine. Then the two of you can explain it to Grizzly. I’ll send a text to the club to let them know. If your brothers get pissed they didn’t get to vote, you can deal with it.”
I smiled. “No problem, Pres. And thanks.”
He grumbled a bit more, muttering under his breath. “I’ll order a property cut for her. Tell her welcome to the family.”
He hung up, and I pocketed my phone. After telling Merry the good news, I kissed her once more before I went to the kitchen to finish making dinner. I had no idea how the call to Grizzly would go, but I knew we needed to get it over with soon. Preferably tonight.