Lynx
The myriad of emotions flitting through her eyes made me hesitate. I didn’t know if she was about to use sex as a way to cope with her father’s illness, if she thought it was what I wanted, or if she genuinely wanted to be with me right now. My brothers would demand I hand over my man-card if they knew my thoughts right now. Most, if not all, would have already stripped down and been in the bed with her.
Merry wasn’t my good-time girl. She was my woman. The one I wanted to be with the rest of my life, start a family and grow old together. I needed to think about the big picture and not just right this second. Would this hurt her, or our relationship, more at a later time?
“I’m going to think you don’t want me,” she said. She smiled, but I noticed she pulled her hand back. Great. Now I was making her doubt herself.
“I want you. Have for a while.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she asked.
“Wonderin’ if this is something you need right this second, or something you want as a way for us to grow closer. Are you still trying to use sex to gain a moment’s reprieve from everything going on inside your head?”
She slumped against the pillows. “Honestly, I don’t know. I can tell you that asking you to sleep with me just now was more difficult than hooking up with some random stranger. None of them meant anything to me.”
“And I do?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “You matter to me, Lynx, and I’m so scared of screwing all this up before it’s even really started.”
I toed off my boots and removed my cut and belt. I tugged off my shirt and let it fall to the floor. Kneeling on the bed, I braced my hands on either side of her. “Then let’s talk this through before we go any further.”
My cock was already so damn hard it hurt. I knew if I unzipped my pants, it would be even more difficult to pull back if that’s what she needed from me right now. So I remained at least halfway dressed and fought to control myself.
“Talk?” she asked.
“For starters, what exactly did you get from all those hookups?”
“A brief moment without chaotic thoughts, pain, or… feeling uncertain.”
I nodded. “All right. Did you let them take control? Or did you?”
“They usually made me suck them off or bent me over whatever was handy. None of them bothered to make me come.”
My brow furrowed as I looked down at her. “Then why the fuck did you sleep with them?”
“When they were fucking me, my mind went quiet.”
Jesus. She needed more help than I’d realized. She still hadn’t told me much about her thoughts and why she needed to silence them. Did I need to worry about her trying to harm herself? Despite the recklessness of sleeping with strange men, it hadn’t occurred to me until now that she might be suicidal. I didn’t think that was it, though.
“Let’s see if we can find some ways to quiet your mind, or give you other things to focus on. And if you want me to stop, just tell me.”
I lowered my head to her neck and kissed the sensitive skin there before working my way lower. My lips closed around her nipple and I flicked it with my tongue. Her body tensed and she gasped. When her nails bit into me, pulling me closer, I took it as a sign to keep going. I’d learned over the years not all women liked someone playing with their nipples. Since Merry’s were rather pretty, I was thankful she hadn’t shoved me away.
I cupped her breast with my hand and drew back to blow across the hard peak. It puckered even more. I rapidly flicked it with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. I gave it a tug and lightly scraped it with my teeth.
“Oh, God! Lynx!” One of her hands went to my hair, and she yanked on it. “Don’t stop! Please don’t!”
Looked like my girl wanted things a little rough. I released her nipple and sat back on my knees. Pinching it between my thumb and finger, I rolled the hard tip. Merry’s eyes were closed, her head tipped back. Her cheeks were flushed.
“Does my girl like that?” I asked.
“Yes! It feels so good.”
I gave the same treatment to the other side, not stopping until her nipples were swollen and had darkened from the slightly rough way I’d handled them. She’d look stunning tied up and completely at my mercy. With the way she reacted so far, she might very well enjoy it.
“Merry, do you trust me?” I asked.
“Of course, I do.”
No hesitation at all. I wondered how many people were on that list of hers, the ones she considered trustworthy. I doubted I was the only one there. As long the others weren’t single men, I didn’t have a problem with it.
“What do you think about being tied up?” I asked.
“I’ve never done that before.”
“It’s not something we have to do. I’d like to, but only if you’re open to it.” I wasn’t about to tell her it wouldn’t be my first time. There were some things she didn’t need to know.
“Do I still get to tell you to stop if I don’t like something?” she asked.
“Always.” I leaned over her again and pressed my lips to hers. “I will never do anything to hurt you. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. If I do, then I want you to tell me. It’s the only way I can make sure I don’t make the same mistake.”
“Does your club know how sweet you are?” she asked.
“Not exactly.”
I wasn’t sure it was so much that I was sweet, as she called me, but that I saw more than most people. Which was why I’d been called Lynx. I tended to make observations others overlooked. Native Americans believed the lynx had the gift of seeing or observation, or so Atilla had told me when he’d given me my name.
“I’m willing to try anything once,” she said. “Especially if it feels as good as what you were just doing.”
“Give me a minute and I’ll get you warmed up again.” I flashed her a smile as I stood. Going to the closet, I dug around until I found some soft rope. I wrapped it around her wrists, then tied them to the headboard. Once I had her trapped and at my mercy, I stripped out of my jeans and boxers.
Climbing back onto the bed, I decided to pick up where I’d left off. She’d liked me playing with her nipples, so I teased them some more first with my mouth and tongue, then with my fingers. As I pinched and tugged on one, I slid my other hand down between her legs. She was already wet and ready. Parting the lips of her pussy, I rubbed her clit in small circles, keeping my touch light.
It didn’t take long before her back bowed and she cried out my name. Her legs trembled and I felt the wetness of her release on my fingers. Thrusting two digits inside her, I pumped them in and out, drawing out her orgasm for as long as I could. She came a second time, and before her pleasure subsided, I flipped her onto her stomach, pulled her up onto her knees, and slid my cock into her slick pussy.
“Lynx! Please!”
She gripped the headboard, her hands still bound, as I fucked her from behind. I reached up to wind her hair around my hand and pulled just enough that she moaned. My hips slapped against her as I took what I wanted while giving her everything she needed. Her pussy tightened on me, and when she came a third time, I knew I wouldn’t last.
I took her harder. Faster. Deeper.
My balls drew up, and my jaw went tight as I pumped her full of my cum. I didn’t slow until every drop had been drained from me. My breath sawed in and out of my lungs, and I nearly collapsed on top of Merry. Pulling free of her body, I slumped to my side and reached up to untie her.
She cuddled against me, and it only took me a moment to realize she had tears on her cheeks. I wiped them away and held her gaze.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked.
“No. That was exactly what I needed. I think it’s what I’d been trying to find, but in all the wrong places.”
“That’s because you didn’t need sex with random men. You needed someone who would take the time to give you pleasure.”
She shook her head. “No. I needed someone to take control. Someone I’d feel safe with, even when I was powerless. Because that’s how I feel every day.”
“Powerless?” I asked, needing her to clarify.
“Yes.”
“You’re stronger than you realize, Merry. You had power, even before now. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to cause so much trouble with the Devil’s Fury. The difference is that now you realize what you did wrong, and you’re trying not to make the same mistakes. That’s honorable, and it takes a lot of courage to face your fears.”
“You’ll make sure I don’t go down the wrong path again, right? You won’t let me fall so far?”
I kissed her soft and slow. “I’ll be here to catch you when you fall, Merry, but you won’t need me to. Because I’m going to help you get the tools you need to do that for yourself.”
“How do I do that?” she asked.
“Sometimes being strong means asking for help. Not just from me, but others. If you’d told your dad or the Devil’s Fury about your struggles, do you think things would have ended differently?” No. That wasn’t what I wanted to say. This wasn’t all on my Merry. Sure, she had to shoulder some of the blame. Her dad’s club needed to take responsibility for the rest. “Maybe a better question is why no one bothered to look close enough to ask you what was wrong, or how they could help.”
“It’s not the first time,” she said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Had they failed her another time? I seriously wanted to go kick all their asses. And yet, if they hadn’t fucked up, she wouldn’t be right here now with me. As angry as I was with them, I also owed them.
“Shella,” she said. “Another of Grizzly’s adopted daughters. They ran her off. It was before I joined the Devil’s Fury, but I heard about it. Or rather, overheard someone talking about it. She’s with Slash now. The VP went after her.”
So he chased after Shella and stopped to ask why she’d been acting out. At least one of them had half a brain. Why hadn’t he bothered to use that same sight when it came to Meredith? Or had she acted that way the entire time she’d been with them? I’d try to reserve my judgment until I had all the facts.
“I don’t know why things ended differently this time. Perhaps you were meant to be here with me all along. Whatever the case, you can’t hide from your dad’s club forever. They’re your family, Merry.”
“Are they?” she asked. “I thought family was supposed to support you, not chase you away when you didn’t act the way they wanted you to.”
I could tell she was still hurting over what she probably felt was a betrayal. She’d admitted she’d done something wrong, even if I didn’t know the entire story. It didn’t change the fact they had hurt her.
“They’re human, Merry. Same as you and me. They make mistakes. I think, when you’re ready, you need to have a talk with them. Help them understand what was going on, and why you acted the way you did. It’s not good to let things fester.”
She closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to me. It seemed she was finished with the conversation for now. Fine. I didn’t want to push her too much too soon. I’d take her for coffee tomorrow, and accidentally run into Moira. I hoped she’d be able to shed some light on things, or at least convince Merry to meet her in a more official capacity.
For now, I’d hold her. Make sure she knew how much I wanted to be with her and accepted her. There wasn’t much else I could do.
She hooked her leg over mine and slowly slid it up my thigh. When her knee gently nudged my cock and balls, I felt myself harden. I couldn’t remember the last time I recovered this fast. Then again, I’d never been turned on so much by a woman before.
“Does this mean you want to go again?” I asked.
She smiled up at me. “I wouldn’t say no.”
Her lips brushed against mine. The moment they parted, my tongue slid between them. I skimmed the curve of her hip with my hand before rolling us so that she lay under me. Her eyes darkened and her nipples puckered. A feeling of possession filled me as I gazed down at her. This woman was mine.
She spread her thighs wider, and it wasn’t an invitation I’d pass up. Pressing my cock against her slick pussy, I eased inside her. Even though she’d said she wasn’t sore, I watched her face for any signs of discomfort. All I saw was pure bliss on her features.
Using slow, easy thrusts, I tried to draw the moment out for as long as possible. I felt her tighten around me, and her nails bit into my shoulders.
“Please, Lynx! I need more.”
How could I possibly deny her? I pounded into her, taking what I wanted and giving her what she needed. The bed slammed against the wall with every stroke, and it wasn’t long before she was coming. The wet heat of her release hit my cock, and my balls drew up. Three more thrusts and I was coming inside her. I didn’t stop pumping my hips until every drop of cum had been wrung from me.
Panting, I gazed down at her. I’d never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. I wondered if she knew how much power she had over me. For her, I’d do anything.