Jenna was running late. For the last hour, she’d been in Jacob’s Crossing finishing up the two errands Mary had asked her to accomplish before she returned home.
The first had been easy enough. Mary had asked her to bring home two cookbooks from the library. Jenna was discovering that Mary loved to cook and try out new recipes, much to Abel’s dismay. That morning, Mary had given Jenna a list of four choices of cookbooks. “See if you can get any of them, wouldja?” she’d asked hopefully. “I’m so anxious to try out some new recipes for hamburger casseroles.”
Mary had said hamburger like it was something wondrous and special. It had taken all Jenna’s restraint to not tease her, but of course she hadn’t. Jenna was learning that just about everything was special to Mary. She had a way of looking about her that was full of interest and fresh hope.
After she collected the cookbooks and checked them out, she slipped on her cloak, scarf, and mittens, and headed into the chilly weather.
Her next task should’ve been easier, but in fact it was far more difficult to complete. She needed to go to the market and pick up a dozen eggs. And there was the problem, really. Because if she had her choice, Jenna was sure she’d never step foot in the grocery again.
All because Chris was there.
Though she usually walked as fast as possible in the cold, she found herself slowing down to look at one family’s Thanksgiving decorations on their front porch, then stopped to pet a particularly friendly poodle that two girls were taking for a walk.
As Jenna wasted time, the sun continued to fall. Soon the twilight glow would fade into night, and walking back to Mary’s home in the dark wasn’t something she wanted to do.
So she steeled her shoulders and pushed open the glass door, then exhaled in relief as she realized the store was fairly busy. This was wunderbaar! All she would have to do was scurry to the dairy section, grab the eggs, and walk to the cash register.
If she kept her head down, she wouldn’t see him, and maybe he wouldn’t see her, either.
After a quick glance at the signs at the beginning of each aisle, she darted down aisle three. At the very end was a refrigerated case holding the eggs. With the end in sight, Jenna quickened her pace, determined to finish her chore and escape. All she had to do was pass the woman in the denim skirt and get to the eggs—
“Jenna? Jenna, it is you!”
Startled, Jenna stared at the woman who’d just called out her name. Ah. It was Mrs. Berch. Her neighbor.
Well, her parents’ neighbor now.
“Hello, Mrs. Berch,” she said politely. “Good evening to you.”
“My evening is even better now that we’ve crossed paths here at the market.” The woman examined her over the rim of her reading glasses. “How are you doing, dear? I haven’t seen you lately.”
“I am fine.”
“I asked your mother if you wanted to come over the other day to babysit Jeremy, but she said you weren’t available.”
She wasn’t available because she wasn’t around! But her mother’s evasive words weren’t a surprise. Mrs. Berch was English. Never would her family have told an Englischer about their personal troubles. It just wasn’t done.
“Actually, I’ve been living with a friend.”
“Really? Why? Is anything the matter?”
Jenna knew the lady well enough to know that the question was asked with the best of intentions. She really was a kind person, and someone with whom Jenna would’ve confided in, if she had felt comfortable doing that. “Everything is fine. I took a job at the library, and I’m tutoring, too. The woman lives within walking distance, so it’s easier.”
After looking her over again, Mrs. Berch nodded. “Well, I guess that makes sense. You always have been such a hard worker. You take care, dear. I’ll tell your parents not to let you be a stranger.”
Jenna flashed a weak smile before moving forward, hastily dipping a hand into the cold section, pulling out a dozen eggs, and then, holding the carton securely in front of her stomach, started walking to the front up the next aisle. She was in no hurry to say anything else to Mrs. Berch!
Aisle four was far more crowded. She kept her head down as she darted in between parked grocery carts, a stroller, and a pair of elderly gentlemen examining two packages of bacon.
But all of that rushing did little good. She had to wait for the six people in front of her to pay for their goods. Time seemed to inch along slowly, suspended, as her heart beat quicker and quicker.
Behind her, chatter and conversations floated forward. Mothers talking about school with their children. An Englischer was talking far too loudly on his cell phone.
A pair of Amish teenagers were looking through magazines and chuckling.
And then she heard his voice. Laughing and joking with someone.
Just like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Anger, strong and sharp, filled her as she thought of how unfair that was. Why was she the one who’d gotten kicked out, and now was reduced to skulking around the market, practically afraid to see her own shadow?
“Two sixty-five,” the blond teenage girl said as she stuck the eggs in a plastic bag.
“Pardon?”
“You’ve got to pay for your eggs.” She chomped on her gum, looking bored. “Anytime, now.”
Fumbling with her wallet, Jenna pulled out a five. “Oh. Yes. Yes, of course.”
With little fanfare, the cashier took the five-dollar bill, opened the cash register drawer, then gave her change. “Here you go.”
“Thank you,” Jenna said. Quickly, she stuffed the change in her tote then strode to the exit. But yet again, she was forced to stop as a mother got her toddler settled in a grocery cart.
Which delayed her far too long. “Jenna? Hey, Jenna. Hold up.”
He’d said almost the same thing the last time they’d been together. She’d been trying to find a way to tell him that she was pregnant. He’d been fiddling with something on his laptop computer.
As she’d sat beside him and waited, her already frayed nerves pulled tighter and tighter until she was sure her temper was going to snap. Well, that, or the tears would start falling and never stop.
In a rush, she’d left his side and ran . . . and he had stood and called after her.
Though it shamed her to be running again, Jenna pushed the glass door open with a fierce shove and practically ran down the sidewalk.
“Watch it!” a man said as she practically knocked him down.
“Sorry!” she called out, cradling the carton of eggs to her chest. Afraid to look back to see if he followed, the tears started to fall.
Making her realize yet again that there was going to be no hiding. No hiding from him.
Or from herself.
Not any longer.
When Mary heard the door open, she turned around to greet Jenna with a smile, but instead saw that the new arrival was Abel. “What are you doing home so early?” she asked. “Did Mr. Carpenter not need you today?”
Abel walked to the sink. “Nee.”
Mary winced. After two days of being almost happy, Abel was back to his sullen ways. “Well, then? What happened? Usually you don’t come home for another three hours.”
“I had to stay after school.”
Oh, this was like pulling teeth! “Why?”
“I messed up my homework.” With a bitter expression, he added, “The teacher said I messed it up good. I had to stay late and redo it all.”
Seeing the disappointment in his eyes broke her heart. “I’m sorry, Abel. Do you understand things better now?”
“Nee.” He turned off the faucet and started drying his hands. “Mamm, I don’t want to go to school no more. Can’t I stop now?”
“Oh, no. You’ve got two more years.”
“But I hate it. Everyone makes fun of me because I still can’t write good.”
He had problems reading, too. “I’ll ask Jenna to help you more. You said she helped last time, right?”
“She helped, but I’m still the worst in the class.”
“You won’t be if you keep studying extra hard. All you need is more time, I bet.” Thinking quickly, Mary added, “I’ll offer to watch her baby when it’s born and she goes back to work. That will be a wonderful-gut trade, I expect.”
But instead of looking hopeful, Abel just slumped. “Jenna can’t help me do things for the next two years, Mamm.”
“I’ll go talk to your teacher. Maybe she can give you some special help before school, too.”
“None of that’s going to make a difference.”
“It might. You just need to be positive. That helps me.”
“Stop talking to me like a child, wouldja?”
“Abel, I’m not—”
“Stop. Just stop.”
When he rushed off, anger apparent in every step, Mary was tempted to run after him, but she decided to let him go. This anger inside of him had been brewing for some time. The only way to make things better was to make drastic changes, and frankly, she’d been too unsure of herself to do that.
But now that she had Jenna and John, she felt stronger. Amazing how much easier it was to make decisions when she knew there was a person or two on her side. Available to help her solve problems.
With a new resolve, she pulled out the flour, sugar, and yeast. When Jenna arrived with the eggs, she would make pretzels. Their warm goodness used to always make Abel feel better. Perhaps it would today, as well, even though Abel was growing up.
She was still stewing on Abel’s problems when the door opened again. Seeing it was Jenna, she smiled. “Jenna! Did you remember my eggs?”
“Jah.” Moving like a wooden doll, Jenna stepped forward. “Here you are. I’m going to go lie down.” As soon as she set them on the counter, she walked down the hall.
Concerned, Mary followed. “Jenna, are you all right? Are you sick?”
Finally, Jenna lifted her chin and met Mary’s gaze. “I’m not sick,” she said. Right before she burst into tears.
Mary wrapped an arm around Jenna and gathered her into her arms. “Oh, you poor dear. Tough day?”
But to Mary’s dismay, Jenna didn’t answer. Instead, she only cried harder.
Closing her eyes, Mary held her closer, and gently patted the girl’s back. The girl really was distraught. Once again, Mary wished Jenna’s parents would bend a little and reach out to their daughter. What Jenna really needed was her family’s love and support.
But since that wasn’t available, she had to make due with Mary.
Opening her eyes, Mary saw Abel standing at the end of the hall, watching them. By his gaze, she couldn’t tell if he was upset by Jenna’s tears, or upset that she was getting his mother’s attention.
When he turned away and closed his door, for about the thousandth time, Mary closed her eyes and prayed. “Lord, it’s me again. I know I was asking you for companionship, and I’m truly grateful for Jenna’s company, but I’m afraid I still need more from you. When you have a moment, could you please send me some guidance? There’s too much going on in my life to tackle it alone!”