THE NEXT DAY LILY packed her bags. Before she could give way to indecision, she hurried downstairs to be driven to the train. It was five forty-five when she arrived at Pennsylvania Station. Harry met her on the platform. They did not embrace, but when Lily smiled up at him Harry felt as though his heart would burst.
“Lily, I’m so glad you’re here.” He picked up her suitcase and escorted her outside. As he helped her into his car, he asked, “Where are you staying?”
“With a friend of mine, Jill Robinson. It’s on the East Side.”
Unspoken was the question of whether she would come to his apartment. They said little as Harry maneuvered the Stutz through the heavy traffic to the Robinson brownstone in the East Sixties.
“Is seven too early, Lily?”
“No, I’ll be ready.”
She watched as Harry’s car disappeared from view, and a moment later she was hugging Jill, who quickly took her by the hand and led her up to a guest bedroom. After closing the door, Jill perched on a slipper chair and said, “So do tell! You sounded so mysterious on the phone, my dear.”
“Well, I … I came into town to see someone,” Lily stammered.
“I take it, someone other than Roger.”
“Yes.”
“Frankly, I’m not surprised. I’ve watched you, Lily, and if this is supposed to be the happiest time of a girl’s life you certainly haven’t been walking around with stars in your eyes.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“To me it is. And if you looked in a mirror right now you’d see the difference. You’re positively glowing. Who is he? Where did you meet him?”
When Lily told her, Jill gasped. “Harry Kohle? Why, I know him—he’s gorgeous! Are you going to go to bed with him?”
Lily was too shocked to speak. Secretly thinking about it was one thing. Hearing the idea voiced aloud was another.
“Well, I’ve thought about it,” she said finally.
“Come on, Lily! Isn’t that really what you came down for? Do you think you’re going to kiss and say good night? It doesn’t work that way.”
“I suppose not.”
“What’s the matter, an attack of conscience? You’re entitled to a fling or two.”
“It’s not a fling, Jill. I really think I’m in love.”
“Are you going to break your engagement to Roger?”
“No.”
“But if you’re in love with Harry, why marry Roger?”
“Oh, you just don’t understand. I have so many obligations.”
“Lily, don’t let your parents force you into this marriage. I’ve known your father all my life. He isn’t concerned with your happiness—just the merger of two great fortunes.”
“You may be right, but I just can’t fight them. I can’t face the thought of total estrangement…. Besides, Roger is a decent man; he’ll make a good husband. What if I don’t have stars in my eyes—nobody has everything, and I feel that I could be content with him.”
“What about Harry?”
“What about him? He hasn’t mentioned marriage.”
“So this is going to be a fling? Do you think you’re going to be able to walk away from it?”
“I guess I’ll have to.”
“I wonder. Things have a way of becoming complicated when you’re in love. Maybe you should just kiss Harry good night.”
“I want to know what it feels like to be with someone I’m crazy about. Even if it’s just for a night. Does any of that make sense?”
“You bet it does. As far as I’m concerned, it’s essential women in our set have a little romance in our lives. Our marriages can become so limited.”
“So you don’t think I’m dreadful for doing this?”
“You have my blessings, dear.”
“Jill, you’re such a good friend, and I need one so desperately right now. I’ve really needed someone to talk to.”
“I’ll always be here. I promise.”
As they sat across from one another at dinner that night in the dimly lit restaurant, neither Lily nor Harry could believe they were there.
It doesn’t make any difference what happens after this, thought Lily. She was going to hold on to this memory. It would be her most cherished gift. No one in this world had ever been able to make her as happy as Harry had. Whatever the chemistry was between them, she would not try to fathom it. For tonight—if only tonight—she would just enjoy.
Harry felt even more in love with Lily now that she was before him. She was worth giving up any dream for—even one he held as dearly as writing. As Lily was silently vowing to become satisfied with memory, Harry resolved more than ever to make her his.
“What’s your pleasure tonight, sir?” the waiter asked.
“Lily—champagne?” he asked.
Shyly she smiled back at him. “Yes, I’d love some.”
If Lily’s life had depended on it, she could not have recalled afterward what they ate or, in fact, if they had eaten at all. As the champagne flowed and the soft jazz music played in the darkly elegant club, she sat mesmerized by the man across from her.
Harry held her very close while they danced, and at that moment both felt only the magic of one another. When they finally stopped moving to the rhythm they both felt, they realized that it was just the two of them standing in the center of the floor. The musicians were already packing up and the waiters were beginning to turn the chairs upside down.
Harry summoned the waiter and paid the check. Then he helped Lily with her wrap. Without a word between them, Harry took her hand. They stepped out into the cool night and began to walk, though not in any particular direction.
When they came to the East River, they stood and looked out. A thousand lights twinkled in the midnight-blue sky. Turning, Harry put his arms around her and drew her close. “Lily, you’re the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Am I?” she murmured softly.
“Oh, yes,” he whispered as his lips covered hers.
They clung to one another hungrily before Lily drew back.
With his arms still around her, Harry said, “Lily, I love you. I’m happier tonight, with you, than I’ve ever been in my life.”
His words were magic to Lily’s ears. It felt so right for her to say, “I love you too,” but she found she could not reply.
Taking her face in his hands, he looked at her searchingly. Slowly he said, “Stay, Lily. Stay with me tonight.”
She could scarcely catch her breath as a sense of inevitability came over her. This had been fated. She knew she was powerless to resist—not that she even wanted to.
“Will you stay?” he whispered again.
“Yes, Harry.”
Silently turning from the river, they walked back the way they had come. Lily could scarcely feel her feet hit the pavement. She felt that high. It was as in a dream: the ride through the cool, misty night, the creak of the old-fashioned elevator, his arm around her, warm and strong, and then, at last, they were alone….
As Harry closed the door behind them, she glanced around without curiosity. It was surely the shabbiest room she had ever been in, and perhaps under different circumstances she might have been taken aback. But at this moment, she was aware of nothing but Harry.
They stood in silence, facing one another. Then, tenderly, Harry drew her into his arms and gazed at her before he lowered his lips gently to touch hers again.
As the kiss deepened, Lily quivered with desire and, sensing her response, he parted her lips with his tongue.
His hands caressed her body until he found the buttons at the back of her dress. He undid them and the gown slid slowly from her shoulders and dropped to the ground. Gently, he released the delicate silk undergarments. Harry stood back to admire her body. Then he cupped her breasts rubbing the nipples and sliding his hands with aching deliberateness over her hips and thighs. If Lily had ever doubted herself capable of love, those doubts were forever erased. And if she had questioned the rightness of her love for Harry, she now knew the answer. When she felt his naked body pressed against hers, she knew the full meaning of love. He lay her gently on the bed, gazing down at her perfection for a long moment before covering her body with his own. Instinctively, she sensed his need and reached down, feeling him grow hard. When he entered her at last, her urgency was as great as his. As he moved slowly to ensure her pleasure, she was overcome with indescribable joy.
Afterward, as they lay in each other’s arms, he said, “You know what tonight means, don’t you, Lily? I can’t give you up—not for anyone or anything. I want to marry you.”
A wave of joy swept over her, but it was quickly replaced by despair. “Harry, I’d love to marry you—but I can’t.”
“We’ve been through this, Lily. I know all your arguments and they don’t amount to a damned thing. You’re not going to sacrifice yourself to please your family. I won’t let you.”
“It’s not just my family—there’s Roger, too.”
“You don’t owe anyone your life, Lily. In any case, would you be doing him a favor by marrying him when you love me?”
“But I feel so guilty….”
“It’s your parents who should feel guilty, forcing you into a marriage to satisfy their own wishes. Besides, what are they going to do to you if you defy them? Beat you? This isn’t the Victorian age.”
Lily found it too painful to explain the relationship between herself and her parents. Instead she said, “I’m an only child. They’re very protective of me.”
“I’m not exactly penniless, Lily. My family owns the Kohle Mercantile Bank, and they will be happy to give me a well-paying job. Won’t your father accept that? Why does it have to be Roger Humphreys?”
Lily felt a sudden hope. If it was a good match her father was after, wouldn’t the Kohles’ wealth and prominence satisfy him as much as Roger’s family’s? And wouldn’t her love for Harry, her passion for him, soften her father’s judgment? Lily sighed. “Oh Harry, do you really think so?”
“Of course!”
“But what about Roger?”
“Is he really going to be heartbroken? Or is it just possible that he has been pushed into this engagement as much as you have? I’ll tell you something, if I were in love with a woman like you, I’d never leave you alone the way Roger has. Good God, he’s off in Hyannis Port every weekend.”
“Oh Harry, you make it sound so simple.”
“It is, Lily—if you have the courage.”
She was silent for a long moment. “Do you really think it could work?”
“I know it can,” he said. Taking her into his arms again, he made her believe that it could, and also made her stop thinking about the ordeal that lay ahead. Soon she had no thought for anything but the unbelievable joy she felt.
The next morning Harry begged to go with her to face her parents, but she refused, terrified to let him witness the scene she expected.
Lily had had a sample of her father’s cruelty the morning she told them of Roger’s offer of marriage. She had been as frightened of him then as she had been as a child. The thought of Harry seeing how little her parents loved her was too humiliating to bear. Remembering the terrible stigma of being unwanted, she could never reveal the dreadful events of her childhood, even to Harry.
“Please let me go alone,” she said.
“All right. But if you need me, I’ll come immediately.”