WHEN SHE ARRIVED IN New York, no one was there to meet her. Ellis was out of town for the day and Mary and Joe were down at The Meadows, supervising some renovations.
The apartment was dark and quiet as she entered, and despite all her brave resolutions, Lily felt forlorn. She kicked off her shoes and went to the living room. She started a fire, then poured herself a stiff brandy and curled up under an afghan. She took a long swallow, then cradled the glass in her hand musingly and gazed at the shimmering reflection of firelight on the amber liquid.
The room was still, save for the hiss of the logs on the grate. For weeks she had been lonely in the middle of a crowd. Now she was lonely on her own, suddenly questioning the wisdom of her plan. She had been so convinced that this course would be best for their marriage, but now …
At last she fell into a troubled slumber, but she woke the next morning feeling refreshed, full of certainty in her plan. She had done the best thing for them both, she was convinced. She was filled with an energy and happiness she hadn’t felt since they left Bermuda. She was going to get on with her life. And the person to help her do that was Ellis. She picked up the phone and dialed his office.
“Lily!” came his surprised voice a minute later. “Where are you?”
“I’m back in town, Ellis.”
“When did you get in?”
“Last night, late.”
“Nothing wrong, I hope?” he asked tentatively.
“Oh no—not at all. But there are a few things I’d like to talk to you about. Are you free for lunch?”
“For you I am,” he replied, mentally making a note to cancel two appointments. “Say, ‘21’ at twelve-thirty?”
Lily was looking forward to seeing him. She felt a warm glow as he rose from his table to greet her. Until this moment, she hadn’t realized how she had missed him.
He kissed her cheek. “It’s wonderful to see you, my dear. It seems as if you’ve been gone forever.”
Lily smiled ruefully. “It seems like that to me, too.”
“How is Harry doing?”
“He’s fine.”
“From all reports, the tour has been like the Second Coming.”
“It certainly has.”
“Why did you decide to come back?”
She hesitated, hating to lie to Ellis, but she couldn’t be disloyal to Harry. Finally she said, “Well, Harry wanted me to stay—begged me to stay—but when it developed that the tour was going on to the Midwest, I decided that the time had come for me to get on with some of my own activities.”
“Did you enjoy being on the road?”
Lily remained evasive. “Oh, yes and no. The crowds were terrific, and it was fun to see Harry being such a star, but there wasn’t much for me to do and, frankly, I began to feel a little as if I were in the way.”
He nodded. “Well, I think perhaps you’re wise to let him have his day. Meanwhile, what do you have in mind for yourself?”
“I was hoping that you might have some suggestions.”
“Actually, I do. I thought of you the minute I heard about this the other day. The Manhattan Historical Landmarks Society has an annual auction of art and antiques and they need someone dynamic to organize it. Would you be interested?”
Knowing that the Landmarks Society was one of Ellis’s particular pet projects—he detested modern art and architecture almost as much as she did—Lily was flattered by his offer.
But still, she demurred. “Of course I’m interested, but I don’t know if I’m really capable of anything that demanding.”
His brows drew together in a frown. “What do you mean, capable? What has happened to your self-confidence? You’d be fabulous, just as you were with the Spring Ball.”
What had happened to her confidence? Was its loss simply the result of weeks of feeling like a nonentity on the fringe of her husband’s fame?
“Look, Lily,” Ellis said, seeing her hesitate. “I wouldn’t ever propose something that you weren’t comfortable with and that wasn’t well within your capabilities.”
She smiled wryly. “I know that, Ellis. It’s just that I think you have a much higher opinion of me than I deserve.”
“That’s impossible,” he returned lightly.
He always made her feel wonderful. And eventually she found herself acquiescing.
Lily found checking and cataloguing the furniture and art donated for the auction unexpectedly fascinating, and she gradually became caught up in it.
When she talked to Harry, however, she didn’t dwell on the details. Instead, she turned the conversation around to him. Were the crowds as boisterous as ever? How had the radio program gone?
The tour was going well, it seemed. The show had been a huge success. There was to be a big interview in the Chicago Tribune. Oh, and they had added a swing through Texas. He wasn’t going to be able to fly home for some time.
Lily couldn’t get over how stilted their conversations had become. What had happened to the intimacy which had developed since their reconciliation? Harry never seemed to say “I love you” anymore, or any of the other little things she longed to hear. When she ventured, “I miss you, darling. I can hardly wait until you come back,” his response was simply, “I’m afraid it will be a while yet.”
Lily hung up feeling unhappy and frustrated. But all she could do was try to fill up her time while she waited. Little did she know then that it would be almost five weeks before Harry finally returned.
At the airport, she instantly detected the new air about him. He was every inch the media swell. The glittering soirees, the jammed lecture halls, the radio and newspaper interviews, the fawning praise from provincial critics had all left their mark. Lily could feel his ego pulsing even before he spoke.
“Hello, Lily. I’ve missed you,” he said. He kissed her briefly.
“I’ve missed you too, darling,” she said, putting her arms around him. “It seems like forever that you’ve been gone.”
The scene was flat. It was as though they were dutifully repeating the lines expected of them.
“Did you have a good flight?”
“Oh, it was so-so.”
Just then Roy Flatt and Kate Hathaway joined them.
“Hi, Lily, how have you been?” Roy greeted her genially.
“Oh, hello. I didn’t realize you were all on the same flight … but of course, you would be.”
“Can we give you a lift?” Harry asked. “Lily has the car.”
Lily drove in silence as the rest of them talked shop. Apparently the last reading had been a comedy of errors. The microphone didn’t work, the fire alarm had gone off as Harry began to speak. Lily felt utterly left out of their intimate trio.
Harry helped them with their luggage when they were each dropped off at their apartments.
“Sounds as though you had a good time,” she said dryly when they were finally alone in the car.
“Oh, not bad,” he returned casually.
“It’s nice to have you back.”
He stretched and yawned. “It will be good to be home. I need a rest.”
And that was all. No protestations of love, no impassioned embraces. That night, Lily had planned a gourmet meal to celebrate his homecoming, but Ellis dropped by for a drink in the late afternoon, and as the dinner hour approached, Harry asked, “We’d love to have you for dinner—can you stay?” There was nothing Lily could do but second the invitation, and Ellis promptly accepted, saying only, “Of course, I don’t want to intrude on your first night back….”
“Oh, no, no,” returned Harry heartily. “No problem. There are quite a few things I need to talk to you about.”
The dinner conversation revolved around The Genesis and the pending question of movie rights. The elegant meal—fresh Maine lobster, imported petits pois, and beautiful croquembouche—was disposed of without ceremony while the men debated the issue.
Finally, after Mary had poured the coffee, Ellis settled back in his chair and said, “Lily, we’ve certainly neglected you thus far this evening. Harry, has she told you much about this big auction she has been whipping into shape?”
“Oh, yes. It’s for the—the—”
“Historical Landmarks Society,” Lily sullenly prompted him.
“That’s right—of course. Well, it should be interesting. What is it that they do again?”
“They work for the preservation of our architectural and cultural heritage,” Ellis said, adding humorously, “Something a Philistine like you wouldn’t understand.”
“Sure, I understand it,” Harry said jokingly. “Seems to me that my father got a nice tax break last year when the Kohle Mercantile Bank building was reclassified as a landmark. I guess that this society isn’t such a bad thing after all.”
They all laughed, but Ellis glanced swiftly at Lily, fearing that Harry’s indifference had hurt her. But as always, she remained smiling and gracious under his gaze. “Shall we have a little more champagne? This is a celebration, you know.”
“I’d love it,” Ellis replied. “But after that, I’m going to leave the two of you to yourselves.”
“No need,” said Harry, yawning. “You know, all of a sudden I’m so tired I’m ready to drop. It must be the long flight catching up with me. If you’ll both excuse me….”
There was an awkward silence after he departed in the direction of the bedroom. That his mind was not on a romantic reunion was painfully obvious.
What had happened to the attentiveness, the loving attitude Harry had displayed toward Lily at Christmastime? Ellis wondered. He seemed a changed man.
Lily tried bravely to summon up a smile. “He’s tired….”
“Well, now your life will settle back to normal a little bit.”
But this time his words proved not to be prophetic.
Early the next morning, Harry got a phone call from Renaud’s. Apparently, an extemporaneous lecture he had given after a reading at the University of Oklahoma had been such a resounding success that Kate and Roy had proposed a lengthy lecture tour of colleges and universities.
“Are you going to do it, Harry?” Lily asked, her heart sinking.
“I think so,” he said decidedly. “They seem very anxious to have me, and I enjoy the prospect of dealing with students.”
“Oh,” Lily answered flatly. Not one word about missing her, or being sorry to leave here again. Two days later he was gone, and Lily threw herself back into her auction committee. Try as she might, she couldn’t understand what was wrong. It was as if Harry were angry with her, though he showed no sign of irritation. He was calm, cool—and indifferent.