GIO braced himself and took a deep breath before walking into Howell’s office. He wished he had a good-luck token or at least something to squeeze; he often put one of those squishy stress balls in his pocket before he went to the doctor. He found himself thinking of Mike, wanting Mike nearby somewhere, but of course, he had to face the firing squad alone.
Because Gio was pretty sure he was about to lose a job that he liked a great deal.
He walked into the office and was greeted by a stern-looking Howell. “Have a seat, Gio.”
Gio sat, although it was hard to get comfortable.
“So, you probably know, we have a situation,” said Howell.
“Yes.”
Howell nodded. “I’d like to hear your side of it. I know you and I do not know each other that well, but it’s hard to deny that your presence on the faculty here lends a certain amount of prestige. And your colleagues all speak very highly of you. You’ve been accused of some terrible behaviors, and I… I want to take your side, Gio. I do. But I can’t just ignore these accusations.”
Gio nodded. “Tracy Quinlan.”
“You know I can’t confirm or deny that.”
“What are the accusations?”
Howell frowned. “The most mild is that you were receiving money and other favors to advance certain students in your opera workshop. That the favors you received led to your making specific recommendations to the Young Musicians Program audition committee.”
“That’s not true,” said Gio. He tried to keep his voice even. He cleared his throat. “You can speak to the committee. Except for Dacia, who I talk with all the time anyway, I never spoke to anyone on the committee about any students.”
Howell didn’t acknowledge that. “The other accusations are a lot more troubling than that. The worst is that you’re having an affair with one of your students, a Greg Thompson?”
It was a punch in the face, how surprising that was. “That is certainly not true. I have never behaved inappropriately with any of my students.”
“Not even Emma McPhee?”
“No, absolutely not.” Heat came to Gio’s face. He was angry now. It was one thing to imply Mike had used his sexuality to get Emma ahead, which was what Gio had expected. Gio’s guilt would have lain in accepting the favors. But to imply Gio had been involved with a student? “I would never get involved with a student, not in the way you’re implying. And there’s no impropriety here. I recused myself from the audition committee. Anyone in the department will tell you that Emma is a standout talent, very much deserving of a spot in the program.”
“Why did you recuse yourself?”
Perhaps “recuse” had been the wrong word to use. Still, Gio didn’t think his personal life was any of Howell’s business, but honesty was the only way to get out of this. “I’ve grown quite fond of Emma. As a teacher, not in an inappropriate way. I didn’t think I could be impartial.”
Howell leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. The furrow in his brow indicated to Gio that Howell was skeptical.
“And I’ve been… dating Emma’s father.”
Howell’s eyes went wide at that. “What?”
“We’ve been seeing each other all summer. Perhaps that’s frowned upon, and in retrospect, maybe it would have been better not to have gotten involved.” Dio, that was hard to say. And a lie, to boot; Gio couldn’t imagine not having gotten involved with Mike, nor did he want to contemplate that alternate universe. “There’s no policy against it, though, in my defense. And when it turned serious, I took myself off the Young Musicians Program admission committee to avoid any improprieties. Or, I was never on the committee, but Dacia wanted me. I told her no. I couldn’t do it.”
Howell shook his head. “You’re having an affair with Emma McPhee’s father.”
“Yes. Well, ‘affair’ sounds tawdry and scandalous. I’m in a relationship with him. And I’ll be perfectly upfront now, all right? Tracy Quinlan found out somehow and threatened me with that knowledge. She said she’d use my relationship against me if Amelia didn’t get into the YMP. It seems to me that is exactly what she is doing now.”
Howell frowned. “You should have come to me, Gio.”
“I didn’t think my personal life was a matter that the school needed to be concerned with.”
“No, you should have come to me when Mrs. Quinlan threatened you. If I had had some warning….” He looked down at his desk and flipped through some papers. “Look, she’s made a formal complaint. It’s a huge mess now, and I have to investigate. You’ve been accused of acting inappropriately with your students, and regardless of how ridiculous I find those charges, the school can’t be seen as a place that condones the abuse of children. The school administration is launching an investigation. That’s why I called you in to speak with you. If I had known, though….”
Gio sat, shocked, staring at the desk. Of all the things to have happened, this blindsided him. “She accused me of abusing students?”
“Greg Thompson is a minor. He was one of your students, yes?”
“Yes. He was in my opera workshop.”
“He’s on the list for one of the slots in the Young Musicians Program.”
“Mrs. Quinlan made accusations about Greg?”
Howell’s face softened. “If I had known, I could have put a stop to this before it got started. I’ll be honest with you. Mrs. Quinlan came in here during the auditions and gave me holy hell because you’d been allowed in the room downstairs at all. Said that you were accepting money and sexual favors to advance certain students. That she’d caught you in a compromising position with Mr. McPhee and that she’d heard you were also behaving inappropriately with his daughter. If what you say is true, that would probably be an easy matter to clear up. But she also implied that you’d been having a sexual relationship with this Greg Thompson and that you were advancing him into the program for that reason.”
“Oh, just because I’m gay, I must also be a pedophile.”
Howell sucked in a breath. “I didn’t say that, Gio. I like you. Your colleagues like you. I don’t want to believe this accusation—I don’t believe most of what you’ve been accused of, frankly—but I have to take it seriously. And Mrs. Quinlan went above my head to the administration, so now it’s a more serious issue. But I wish I could have headed her off at the pass.”
Gio took a few breaths, trying to calm down. His heart raced now, anxiety mounting as he tried to figure out the worst-case scenarios. “Emma and Greg are exceptional singers who deserve their spots in this program. Is the holdup in making final decisions because of me and this investigation?”
Howell nodded.
“They do not deserve a negative outcome because of a decision I made. I appreciate the position you’ve been put in, but I swear, Howell, I never touched those kids, nor did I recommend them to the audition committee. The only person I discussed those students with was Dacia, and that was because she was a guest teacher at a few of my classes and, well, we’re friends. I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about that. But like I said, I took myself off the audition committee to avoid this very problem.” He let out a breath. “Greg might lose his spot too?”
“I honestly don’t know. But I’ve been forbidden to post the results of the auditions until after the administration concludes its inquiry.”
“What will that entail?”
“I imagine they will ask you and your workshop students questions, try to find out if there was any inappropriate behavior. Mr. McPhee may also be called in to testify.” Howell closed his eyes for a moment. “This is not the first time this has happened, unfortunately. Some parents are ruthless. One manufactured an affair between her daughter and one of the teachers. Produced all kinds of evidence. The teacher resigned before we could fire him, but then it turned out she’d made up the whole thing.”
“Did you hire him back?”
“He didn’t want to work for an institution that wouldn’t believe him. So that’s what I’m doing now, Gio. I want to believe you. I’ll back you up during the investigation. Losing you would be a great loss to the Olcott School.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“And I need you to be honest with me. Don’t withhold details that could come out later and embarrass both of us.”
“You know everything now.”
Howell grimaced.
Gio leaned forward, wanting to ask the obvious question but not knowing if it was within his rights. Still, he swallowed and said, “This is at least in part about money.”
Howell shrugged. “Tracy Quinlan has not explicitly said she’d pull her money or stop donating, but through her organization, the Upper West Side Arts Association, she still funds several summer programs. If she decided we were no longer worthy of that money?”
Gio crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.
“So, yes, I imagine money is a factor for the administration. It’s not fair, but that’s the way this world works. You must know that as well as anyone.”
“I do.”
Howell sighed. “So here we are.” He shook his head. “The father of a student?”
There was something lighter in Howell’s tone, so Gio said, “I know, but… I don’t know what I can say in my defense. He’s very handsome and he asked me out one day and that was that.”
“I didn’t know you’re gay.”
Gio shrugged. “I figured everyone did. I don’t keep it a secret. It’s on the Internet. The Wikipedia page about me has a section called ‘Personal Life,’ in which my romantic failures are recounted in stark terms.”
Howell laughed, so that was something. “I think I just lost a ten-dollar bet with my wife.”
IT WAS odd getting a call requesting that you testify against your boyfriend.
But that was what happened as Mike and Sandy were tiling a bathroom on Seventy-sixth Street. As Mike hung up and slid his phone back into his pocket, Sandy raised his eyebrows.
“The school is investigating whether Gio inappropriately advanced Emma to the Young Musicians Program in exchange for sexual favors from me,” Mike said. “Apparently Gio is also accused of inappropriate relations with a male student.”
Sandy made a surprised sound that wasn’t quite a gasp. “The fuck?”
Mike explained about Tracy Quinlan and trying to get her daughter into the program.
“What are you going to tell the administration?”
“The truth?”
“Which is?”
Mike put the grout aside. His hands were starting to shake. “That Gio and I started dating just before the end of the workshop, and we’re still together, and Emma got into the program on her own merits and not on Gio’s recommendation.”
Sandy scoffed. “A likely story.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I know, but think about it from the perspective of the grouchy school board. A major donor is threatening to pull out all of her money if her daughter doesn’t get into the program. Of course, the only reason her wonderful, amazing daughter is not in the program is because someone cheated, because why else wouldn’t she get in?”
“She’s not very good?”
“Psshh. You’re not that naive. Emma’s been in this world for a long time, Mike. You know how this works. Sometimes it’s not about who is good, it’s about who can afford to succeed.”
Mike resisted the urge to kick the side of the tub. “And so the wealthy elite win yet again and I get nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, Mike. First, you don’t even know how this thing is going to play out. And Emma, well, maybe she’ll keep her spot in the program, but even if she doesn’t, she’s still got you and she’s still got a mountain of talent. She’ll make it. I know she will.”
Mike wasn’t convinced everything would be tied up so neatly. He felt helpless and impotent. As her father, he wanted to do something, but he was damned if he could see what. “You’re not suggesting I lie, are you?”
“No. That would probably do more harm than good. I was just trying to temper your expectations. I don’t think this is one of those situations where saying, ‘We’re in love!’ is going to work well in your defense. It’s not a Disney movie.”
“Ugh. Like I’d ever say something like that.”
“I dunno. You’ve been pretty starry-eyed lately.” Sandy started unpacking a new box of tile. “Look, tell them what you need to. Maybe it’ll help to explain that you put off getting involved precisely to avoid the relationship looking like something inappropriate. And a teacher and parent getting involved is not unprecedented or outside of the rules. What did I tell you in the beginning? There was no grade for the workshop. Gio took himself off this young musicians audition committee. There was nothing sketchy going on. Right?”
“Right.”
Sandy stopped what he was doing and looked up at Mike. “It might help if you sound like you believe it.”
Mike grunted. His hands still shook too much to be any good at laying tiles. He braced himself on the sink.
Sandy stood. “Hey, Mike. Hey. It’s going to be okay.”
“How can you know that?” Mike threw his hands up in the air. “Isn’t this how the whole fucking universe works? All I’ve ever done is work hard. I got out of South Brooklyn, I fought in the army, I scrimped and saved to provide for my daughter, and what does that get me? Shit. It gets me shit.” He did kick the tub that time. His work boot left a smudge.
“All right, big guy.” Sandy grabbed Mike’s arm and pulled him out of the bathroom. “Let’s calm you down before you do some actual damage.”
Mike tried to gain control of his emotions. He took several deep breaths and pressed a hand against the wall of the hallway. Sandy stood back and looked at him.
“Say whatever you’re going to say,” Mike said.
“You’re a pessimist. You know that?” Sandy said. “You assume a little bit of adversity is going to make your whole life go pear-shaped. But I’ve got news for you, buddy. Things are not as bad as you think.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’ve got your health. You own your own company. You have a great daughter. And you’ve got a good man in your life. What more could you want?”
Well, sure, when Sandy put it that way. “I don’t know. More. Emma’s so talented, Sandy, and I’m not just saying that. She works so hard. She deserves this opportunity. It kills me that she might lose it because some woman with a lot of money—”
Sandy held up his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I know. Believe me, I know. My whole life is the same shit, different day. We come from the same place, remember? I get it. But you have to trust that things might actually work out in your favor every once in a while. Maybe they will this time. If they don’t, you’ll figure something else out. You always do.”
“I’m so tired of this.”
“I know.”
Mike dropped his hand and stepped away from the wall. He looked at Sandy.
Sandy took a step forward and wrapped Mike up in a hug. “Oh, Mikey. I hate to see you like this.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you fucking apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Sandy squeezed him and then took a step back. “It’s not like you to give up the fight this easily.”
Mike rubbed his forehead. “I know. But everything is so tangled this time. And Gio… well.”
“You love him.”
“I do. I really do. But I just don’t see how this works out unless we get really lucky.”
“Maybe the universe will surprise you.”
Mike took stock of himself and realized he’d stopped shaking and his breathing was back to normal. “Thanks, Sandy. You’re a good friend.”
“No big,” said Sandy. “Let’s get back to work, eh?”