Rule 39: Do not be indecisive. Once you make up your mind, stick to it.
Going to New York with Blake had seemed like a bad idea when Horace had agreed to it for Raven and it was even worse now that Raven was in the SUV. Especially with Blake and his girlfriend, Lana, in the backseat, Lana giggling with that sweet voice of hers. It turned out, the girl at Scrappe was his girlfriend. She was due back in Newport Harbor that evening and was taking a flight out of New York. At least the ride home to Birch Falls would be quiet. Not that Raven disliked Lana, it was just…awkward having her here because Raven wasn’t exactly sure what was going on between her and Blake. Did Blake like Raven? Was he trying to hook up with other girls while Lana was at home?
Just thinking about it made Raven’s head hurt.
Raven pulled out her cell phone and flipped through her contact list. Who could she text to pass the time? Horace was working. Jordan was probably still sleeping.
“What kind of music do you want to listen to?” Mil-D asked.
Raven looked over at him. At least she had Mil-D. At least she wasn’t the odd third wheel.
“I don’t care,” she said. “I like almost everything except for country.”
Mil-D chuckled as he flipped through the channels on the Sirius Satellite Radio. He stopped on a channel called Hit List, and Kanye West’s latest track blared through the expensive sound system. Mil-D bobbed his head to the beat.
“Oh, I like this song!” Lana said and started singing along.
Raven glanced at her watch. It was just after nine in the morning, which meant they’d been on the road less than half an hour. The sun shone brightly as it rose in a clear, blue sky, but the windows on the SUV were so darkly tinted, Raven didn’t even need her sunglasses.
She shifted in her seat, the leather squeaking beneath her.
“Hey, Rave?” Blake said.
She turned to glance back at him. His hat sat crooked on his head. It almost annoyed Raven how cute he looked right now.
Why couldn’t her across-the-street neighbor be ugly? It would have saved her a lot of trouble.
“Yeah?” she said.
“You doing okay?”
She furrowed her brow. “I’m fine,” she said and straightened in her seat.
Two seconds later, her cell phone chirped with a new text message.
Thank god, she thought. Someone to talk to.
She hit the OK button and checked the name. It was from Blake. She shot him a scowl over her shoulder. He couldn’t just talk to her face-to-face?
She read the message.
What’s up with u? uve been so chill lately.
Sometimes it was hard to translate Blake’s language. Did he mean chill as in “laid back” or chill as in “cold”?
Maybe she’d better ask.
Cold, he typed back.
Lana sat forward and poked her head between the front seats, her French manicured nails scratching against the leather as she said, “I love this song, too! Who is this?”
Raven tuned into the new track. “This is Nickelback.”
“Oh yeah. I like them.”
Raven smiled. “Yeah. Me, too.”
Lana sat back in her seat just as Raven’s cell went off again.
Ur not going 2 answer?
I haven’t been cold, she typed back, then quickly shut off her text alerts so the phone wouldn’t constantly go off.
Liar, Blake said.
She scowled at him. He grinned back.
I’m not lying, she said.
Yes u r.
She chewed on her lip as she tried to decide on her response. Tell him to shove it? Tell him he was delusional? Or tell him the truth?
And what was the truth, exactly?
She liked him. Or at least had a tiny crush on him and she’d been cold because the crush scared her.
There, she’d admitted it. She liked Blake.
The hair on the nape of her neck stood up. She rubbed at it, trying to force the chill from her skin.
It didn’t work.
All right, she typed, truth is, i sorta like u. i mean, not like that…i luv Horace and i wont ever hurt him…but i’m still attracted 2 u and that scares the hell outta me.
He got the message, read it, and smiled to himself as he responded.
While Raven waited, her stomach twisted into knots. The sixty or so seconds it took him to reply seemed more like a thousand. What if he wasn’t attracted to her? What if he thought she was an idiot?
The screen on Raven’s phone lit up when she got a new message. She took a deep breath and opened it.
U like me?
That was his reply? She furrowed her brow and punched in a new message.
Yes u idiot!
He laughed to himself.
“Who are you talking to?” Lana asked.
He looked up, shot her a smile. “Cedric. He met a new girl last night.”
Raven widened her eyes at him. Thankfully, Lana couldn’t see Raven because she was hiding behind the passenger seat.
He was blatantly lying to his girlfriend! Raven felt ill with guilt.
“Tell Cedric I said hi,” Lana said.
Lana reached between the seats and switched the station again.
“Hey now!” Mil-D said. “I was listening to that.”
“Yeah, but I don’t like that song.”
Mil-D sighed and shook his head.
U lied 2 her, Raven texted.
It was a white lie.
No, a BIG lie.
Listen, he texted, thing is, i like u 2 and i know exactly what ur going thru. trust me. i’m on the road all the time. screaming girls, die-hard fans. its crazy and its easy 2 get swept up in the excitement. but i luv lana and i try very hard 2 b good 2 her.
Raven looked back at him now. The smile, the sarcasm, was gone, leaving his expression incredibly serious.
R u good 2 her? she asked.
Ive been for the 6 months we’ve been 2gether.
Raven shut her phone off.
She hadn’t mistaken the attraction she’d felt between her and Blake, but she’d definitely misread his intentions. She was a friend he kept at arm’s length to keep himself safe from destroying his relationship.
He did seem to understand exactly what Raven was going through. That, and the way Alexia had put it—that it was okay to be attracted to someone else as long as you were faithful—made Raven feel a lot better.
Blake was right; you had to work hard to have a good relationship. That kind of thing didn’t come easy. It shouldn’t be easy. But was Raven working hard enough?