Alexia leaned back in the passenger seat of Ben’s Jeep and looked through the open roof to the sunny sky. It was hard to believe summer was over and Ben was leaving. His fingers lightly stroked the inside of her palm and she closed her eyes, liking the warmth of the sun on her face and the feel of Ben so near.
The state park on the other side of Garver Lake was quiet for a Friday afternoon. It was perfect for today.
“Do you really have to go?” Alexia asked Ben.
“Yeah. Besides, having the title ‘college freshman’ makes me automatically ten times hotter. All the girls will be jealous of you.”
“College,” she mumbled to herself. Just a few short months ago, Ben had been a high school student—her boyfriend. “College freshman” sounded so…official, like he was becoming an adult far too quickly.
Why couldn’t they just stay here like this forever?
“It’s only like ten weeks before Thanksgiving break.”
Alexia bit the inside of her cheek when she felt the sting of tears behind her eyes. She looked away from the sky and glanced at Ben. “What’s going to happen to us?”
Ben stopped rubbing her hand. “I’d like to think nothing would happen. I don’t want to break up, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
He was so serious right now, it was almost scary. Ben hardly ever did “serious.”
“You think we can make a long-distance relationship work?”
“Are you kidding?” Ben wove his fingers through hers. “If anyone can do long distance, we can.”
Alexia nodded, but she knew to expect the unexpected. There were a hundred what-ifs to consider. What if Ben found another girl at Pepperdine. California was the land of skinny blond women, after all. Or what if he spent months away from her and fell out of love? What if she fell out of love?
The idea made her ill because she loved Ben that much. He was her first of everything. Her first boyfriend. Her first intimate relationship. She might have regretted losing her virginity the way she had, but she didn’t regret losing it with Ben. He was the best possible guy to share that memory with.
Could their relationship survive the distance? The tears bit again at her eyes.
“Lexy?” Ben said.
“What if we grow apart?”
“We won’t.”
“But you don’t know that. And you can’t promise it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she caught them before they rolled off her chin. “It’s so much, you know. I just love you so much.”
He reached over the console and took her in his arms. He ran his hand over her hair. “I love you, too.”
They sat there like that for a long time, or what felt like a long time. Alexia didn’t want to let him go, but she knew he had to leave soon.
“I should go,” she said. She got out of the Jeep. She’d driven her car to the park and met Ben there. He got out, too.
“So this is it,” she said.
“No, this is the beginning.”
Alexia frowned. “To what?”
“To the next step of Ben’s Four Step Relationship Program. First comes love, then comes separation, then comes marriage and babies. I have it all figured out.”
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m so going to miss you.”
He hugged her back. “Me, too. Promise you’ll Email me often.”
“I will.”
He kissed her softly at first, then tightened his arms around her and leaned her back in a dip.
“Ben!”
“I can’t help it. You make me want to tango.”
“Stop!”
He pulled her up. “I should go.”
“Yeah.”
He kissed her again. “I love you, Lexy.”
“I love you, too.”
They waved good-bye and climbed into their vehicles. Ben was the first one to pull out of the parking lot, his Jeep disappearing around a bend in the road. Alexia stared after him, wishing he’d come back, wishing he’d change his mind and stay with her.
Anxious butterflies filled her stomach.
He wasn’t coming back—that she knew—but it wouldn’t stop her from hoping.