Never compete with someone who has nothing to lose.
~Baltasar Gracian
It all started with the candy bar. Kristen, my husband’s young cousin, brought a box of candy bars to a family gathering. She explained that her school choir was having a fundraiser. I have quite a sweet tooth, so I handed her a dollar and chose a chocolate bar. Aunt June, standing behind her daughter, beamed.
Soon after, our son came home with an order sheet for wrapping paper. His baseball team was trying to earn money for new equipment.
“Ask the relatives at Grandpa’s birthday party next week,” I told him. “Maybe you’ll get some orders.”
I didn’t think about it again until a week later when it was time for Brian to turn in his order sheet to the coach. I scanned it quickly, smiling at the small orders from Grandma and Uncle Don. Then I saw June’s name. She had ordered seven rolls. At eight dollars per roll, that was quite a hefty order.
At the Fourth of July picnic, Kristen was selling potholders she had made. They were very nice quality. I complimented her and chose two that would match my kitchen. Aunt June came over and thanked me for my purchase.
Two weeks later, it was our daughter Amy’s birthday. Aunt June arrived with an enormous present — a two-story dollhouse. Amy was thrilled. For the next twenty minutes, she gushed to Aunt June about how much she loved it. I felt guilty, remembering the small art set we had given Kristen as a birthday gift.
When Kristen rang our bell and asked if we’d like to buy some Girl Scout cookies, I only ordered three boxes since my daughter was also selling them. When Amy called Aunt June to inquire if she would like to order any, she hung up the phone with a big smile. “Aunt June ordered ten boxes!” she announced as I cringed.
This went on for almost two years. For some reason, Aunt June was being extremely kind and generous to our family. When I tried to repay the kindness, she would “up the ante.” If we gave Kristen a gift card, our children would receive one for double the amount. We sent Aunt June a card for Mother’s Day. She had flowers delivered to me.
The last straw was the enormous box of candy that was delivered on Labor Day. “A little back-to-school treat!” was written on the enclosed note. “Why is she doing this?” I asked my husband in despair. “This is crazy! Who sends Labor Day gifts? She’s not fighting fair!”
My husband threw back his head in laughter. “It’s our turn, I guess. Aunt June does this to everybody. If you do something nice for her, she becomes obsessed with paying you back. When my sister lent their family a tent, Aunt June returned the tent along with a camping stove and three new sleeping bags. It’s just a weird quirk she has. Don’t worry, she’ll move on to another family soon. The key is to let her win.”
I was puzzled but took my husband’s advice. We started buying nice but affordable gifts for June’s family again. We sponsored Kristen in her school’s Fun Run, but kept our donation reasonable. It took a while, but slowly the competition and stress faded away.
On Christmas Eve, I breathed much easier as our children each unwrapped a game from Aunt June. One game. One simple, delightful game. My husband caught my eye and nodded his head toward Grandpa, who was scratching his head as he studied an enormous package with his name on it. On the side was written “All my love, Aunt June.” My husband leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Grandpa fixed her sink….”
~Marianne Fosnow
