When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.
~Alan Alda
My husband’s family members all live within an hour’s drive of each other, and one summer they decided to take a big, multi-generational vacation to the beach — despite the fact that getting together for even a quick coffee can often result in what I like to call “an unfortunate incident.” But in theory, this trip would be a blissful assemblage of aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, siblings, parents and kids spending a week together in one big, laughter-filled house by the shore. And though any such venture will doubtless include a few bumps in the road, no one could have anticipated the bizarre occurrence that would form everyone’s lasting memory of this familial voyage.
The morning my mother-in-law, Caroline, and father-in-law, Daniel, were about to hit the road for this trek, Daniel made a grim discovery in the back yard. Boogie, their elderly German Shepherd, had quietly passed away in the shade of his favorite weeping willow. Worried that this news would start the vacation off on the worst possible note, Daniel decided to keep Boogie’s untimely demise to himself, ship Caroline off to the beach with their daughter Ellen, and then bury the dog by himself once everyone was out of town.
“I called Ellen to come pick you up and take you with her,” he announced rather gruffly, preoccupied by the dark task ahead. “I’ve got some things I need to do today. I’ll head down tomorrow and meet up with you at the rental house.”
“What are you talking about?” Caroline asked, dismayed by this last-minute upheaval. “That’s ridiculous!”
By now, Daniel, who could be a bit short-tempered, was starting to feel overwhelmed by the heat of the August day, melancholy over Boogie’s death and general anxiety over the impending family get-together. The volatile combination caused Daniel to erupt, rather loudly, at his wife.
“For heaven’s sake, Caroline, just DO WHAT I ASK!” he yelled. “Why can’t you just GO and not make a big deal of it?”
Caroline snapped back at him, returning his elevated and angry tone. The spat continued for a few moments before Daniel caught himself and apologized.
“Please,” he said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I really need you to do this, but I promise I’ll be there tomorrow, and everything will be fine.”
Ellen pulled up just then, so Caroline shrugged an “okay,” got her luggage and left for the beach with her daughter.
As soon as they were gone, Daniel got to work on making Boogie’s final arrangements. He gathered up a few of the dog’s favorite toys, the old green blanket Boogie always slept on, and a half-chewed rawhide bone. Finding the shovel and pickax in the garage took a while, and by the time Daniel had everything he needed, it was mid-afternoon. Concerned about the oppressive heat and humidity, he decided to wait until after sundown to begin excavating Boogie’s grave, and settled into his easy chair for a quick nap.
It was after 10:00 p.m. when the sound of pouring rain woke my father-in-law, who was stiff from his unexpectedly long sleep in the recliner. He felt groggy and disoriented, but the thought of poor Boogie alone in the storm compelled him to action. Daniel went outside, lovingly wrapped Boogie and his playthings in the blanket, and began digging the dog’s final resting place. He chose a spot close to where the canine had died, but Daniel soon hit a large root and had to adjust his plan, shifting the perimeter of the hole away from the willow’s trunk. It wasn’t long before he came upon another unyielding patch, and then another. Both times, he had to realign the grave’s border to circumvent the obstacles.
The heavy rain made it difficult for him to proceed in the darkness, so Daniel got an old camping lantern and set it atop a nearby fencepost. When he turned it on, the splash of yellow light revealed a jagged, sprawling pit beneath the willow’s sheltering branches. Aided by the lantern, Daniel continued to dig, straightening and deepening the trench as he went. At last, he placed the green-wrapped bundle in the hole, said a few parting words, and then began re-filling the cavity with muddy earth.
Meanwhile, at the beach, the adults had finally gotten the children settled in and were enjoying a late-night comedy show. We were right in the middle of planning the next day’s activities when Caroline’s phone rang.
“Hello? Yes, this is Caroline,” we heard her say, and then there was a lengthy pause while she listened to the caller.
“I’m sorry,” Caroline said at last. “I have to put this on speaker so everybody can hear that.” She hit the button, and then asked the person on the other end, “Would you mind repeating what you just said?”
“Sure, ma’am,” a man’s voice replied. “This is Officer Green of the Prince William County Police. I just got a call from one of your neighbors saying he heard shouting at your house earlier today. And then about an hour ago, his wife saw your husband outside in the rain digging a pretty big hole. Neither of them had seen you since the shouting earlier, and they say your husband was definitely burying something in the back yard. And, well…” the policeman hesitated a moment before continuing, “well, ma’am, we just wanted to make sure that ‘something’ wasn’t you.”
~Miriam Van Scott
