Dog people will totally understand what I mean about the nonstop conversation about the family dog. Even if you plan a romantic date night, it’s inevitable that a couple will start talking about their dog. It’s the safe, happy topic that everyone goes to when they’ve caught up with each other on work and hobbies and news from the family that wasn’t already posted on Facebook.
Peter and I do this with Jasper all the time.
“What’s he like?” It’s a British saying that I picked up when we lived together in England. It’s a generic question that leads into a list of some of Jasper’s attributes and stories about him that we haven’t yet shared with each other. “You should have seen him at the bank today…” Peter will say, delighting me with a story that would bore anyone else to tears.
When that part of the conversation dries up, I’ll ask, “Do you think he’s okay?” since I’m a worrier and his well-being is constantly on my mind. Peter always answers that yes, he’s okay, he’s safe, he’s happy. Peter reminds me that, in fact, Jasper lives better than 99 percent of all living organisms have throughout history.
One of us will say, “What about that time when…” and then we can take that trip down memory lane about when he learned to jump in the pool, tried to get in the gardener’s golf cart at Central Park, or got to ride in a taxi down Broadway with his dog walker. It’s a nonstop source of entertainment and fun chatter. To us, he’s a four-legged Netflix.
When Peter and I talk on the phone during the day, he knows I’m not really calling to see how he’s doing, though I go through the motions and ask. I really want to know how Jasper is.
But I mask my question, making it sound like I’m asking after the well-being of my husband. Still, when I ask, “Is everything okay?” Peter knows I’m not asking about the leaking faucet or if the bills have been paid.
“Yes, Jasper is fine. He had a big walk and a chew and is now sitting on the little chair having a snooze.” And then, satisfied that all is well at home, I can get back to work.
Everything is okay. That’s one of my favorite phrases in the English language. (The other one is “Gutfeld called in sick today.”)