‘What the hell do you thinking you’re doing? Well go on, Maddison, tell me. Don’t let the cat catch your tongue now, because hell, woman, you had enough to say to Zola.’
Not fully knowing if it was tears or the rain or both she felt running down her face, Maddie said, ‘Just leave it Rosedale, okay.’
‘Well that’s not what I’m going to do. So why don’t we make this easy on both of us and tell me what’s going on’
Maddie shouted over the noise of the heavy rain. ‘I would if there was anything to tell.’
‘I know you Maddison, and okay I might not have known you long, but that wasn’t you in there. The Maddison I know is one hell of a woman but she doesn’t judge. Not like that. She understands her culture, proud of it like she should be. So unless this Kindoki is real and has taken you as well, then sugar, you need to start talking.’
‘You think that’s funny? To joke about Kindoki? Whether it’s real or not and whether you believe it or not kids are being hurt because somehow it’s okay to do that to them. How can it be okay, Rosedale? Did you see them in Kinshasa? Did you see how traumatized they were? They were babies, Rosedale. Six and seven years old. Some younger than that. UNICEF reported that there were over twenty thousand kids in Kinshasa alone accused of witchcraft. Twenty thousand, Rosedale. And nobody’s helping. Not us, not anybody. They live on the streets with no food, no shelter. No-one to care for them because somebody somewhere didn’t get that job or got sick and decided they were to blame. Innocent kids… So yes, I’m afraid it is me, Rosedale, who you saw in there. That’s me. I am going to judge because I don’t know how Zola can stand in there when her grandson’s just died and talk about Kindoki and try telling me they don’t feel fear when they’re locked up in a dark room having the evil starved out of them. Can’t she see her poor grandson had some sort of illness? It wasn’t witchcraft.’
With the brim of his cowboy hat full of water and the sound of the tapping and patting of rain beating down on the large banana leaves, Rosedale said, ‘What happened to you Maddie?’
‘What?’
‘You heard me. What happened to you, Maddison? Here. In the DRC. What happened to you? Is that why you haven’t visited the country for years?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Yes you do… This happened to you didn’t it…? Maddison. Talk to me.’
Maddison blinked, drew breath, and held her head high. She spoke with an equanimity Rosedale hadn’t seen in her before.
‘I was twelve years old and it was four years before the civil war broke out. I’d come to stay in a village not too far from here. They were close friends of my grandmother so I’d known them since as far back as I could remember. Every time I’d come to visit the country I pestered my grandparents to let me go and stay with them. Then one day after lots of persuasion, I was allowed to go. So you could imagine how excited I was. Daddy was in Kinshasa and my grandmother had taken the opportunity to go to a wedding over in Yangambi. And I was delighted… Things were fine for the first few days. It was everything I thought it would be. We had fun. It was like staying with your favorite aunt and uncle at Christmas time.’ She gave a melancholy smile. ‘But then one night I was dragged out of bed and a hand put over my mouth. I was terrified. I tried to fight but it turned out there was more than one person. Holding my feet. Pulling my hands behind my back. I didn’t know what was happening, I thought they were intruders but then I caught a glimpse of their faces. It was my so-called aunt and uncle. They looked at me with a mixture of revulsion and anger, and as I cried and begged them to stop there was no kind of empathy. They bound my legs and hands behind my back and they took me to the river. Tried to drown out the devil. Eventually I passed out and woke up in a small room. Still tied up but now there was not only my aunt and uncle but also a self-appointed pastor who force fed me a drink, just like we saw Bemba doing to those children back at the church. It made me vomit. I was so sick, Rosedale. I didn’t think anybody could feel that sick. I was covered in it, but they didn’t clean me up, they just bundled me in a large sack like a laundry bag. Tied the top of it and left me there. Locked up and terrified and every few hours they’d come in and beat me with belts through the bag. I was like that for two days in that sack but it felt like forever, Rosedale. No food. No water. And not being able to go to the bathroom. I sat in my own urine thinking I was going to die… So yeah, you were right, Rosedale, Tom’s not the only one with ghosts.’
‘Jesus, Maddie, I…’
‘Don’t know what to say? There isn’t anything to say.’
‘How did you get away?’
Maddie said, ‘My grandmother came home. Simple as that. I know there was a huge argument but I was too traumatized to really know what went down. She took me back to Kinshasa and once I got checked out at the hospital I flew back home to the States with my daddy. And that was it. I’ve never been back. Until now. Daddy never spoke to his mom again. He blamed her and ironically she blamed the spirits. And you know what, Rosedale, the whole thing happened because my uncle had a bout of gastritis which made it impossible for him to go to work and he missed out on some opportunity.’
‘What happened to them?’
Maddie shrugged. ‘Nothing. That’s just how it is. Something which happens. And it makes me so mad… So sad.’
‘Honey, I’m so sorry. Does Thomas know this?’
Maddie shook her head. ‘No and I don’t want him to. Okay?’
‘Whatever you say. Your call,’ said Rosedale, then added: ‘It doesn’t take a shrink to know why you chose the job you did. You’re kick ass, baby. Both in what you do and who you are. Don’t you ever forget that, Miss Maddison.’
Maddie wiped away her tears along, pushing her memories away and smiled.
‘I’m not sure if this place is good for any of us.’
‘It’s not the place. We take our baggage with us.’
‘So what baggage are you carrying? Because I reckon there’s one big suitcase.’
With the rain pouring down, Rosedale leant on the tree, picking out his cuticles with his thumb. ‘Maddison, what the hell are you talking about?’
‘I’m talking about you. The real you. You never tell me anything about your life.’
Rosedale shrugged. ‘Nothing to say.’
‘Don’t give me that.’
‘Okay. Lots to say. No-one to listen.’
‘There must have been someone special at one time.’
‘Imagined or real?’
Maddie said. ‘What do you mean?’
‘As you know I worked for the CIA Clan— ’
She rolled her eyes then grinned and finished his sentence. ‘Clandestine Service. Yes. Think we all do.’
He grinned. ‘The point is you live a life where everything’s pretend. A big ol’ pretend world. Pretending to be somebody else. Pretending to be a guy with kids and a wife. Pretending to be love’s young dream with some CIA operative who hates the sight of you and you hate the sight of them. And then what happens is because you submerge yourself in the make believe to do the job, you eventually end up believing it’s real yourself. That you’ve got the wife. You’ve got the kids. You’ve got the house. And you’ve got the love. The American dream. Then one day, the mailman comes and delivers your pink slip and it all disappear in a cloud of smoke and you realize there’s nobody there at all. Never was… And that’s why I think he’s a fool.’
‘Who is?’
‘Thomas.’
‘Why?’
‘For letting you go. If I’d been lucky enough to have someone like you, I would’ve never let you go.’
Maddie brushed the rain off the end of her nose. ‘Rosedale. Thank you. That’s the kindest thing someone has said about me in a very long time.’
Rosedale shuffled. Put his head down. ‘I don’t mean it to be kind, ma’am. It’s the truth. I can’t help the way I feel.’
‘Rosedale, listen…’
‘No.’
‘Rosedale…’
‘No, Miss Maddison. You want to know things about me. Well here are two things to know. I’m not real good at sentiment or disappointment, and I’m guessing what you’re about to say is one of the two, so I think it’s best we leave it there. But I will ask you this… What do you think of Kevin Costner?’
And in the middle of the dark, rain-soaked forest, Maddie stared at Rosedale.
‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously.’
A wide smile crossed Maddie’s face. ‘I think he was robbed.’