In typical Eileen Redford style, Nonna had arranged every last detail of her funeral so that her family didn’t have to worry. Noah had conducted the service, as Nonna had requested, and it had been obvious to everyone there that this wasn’t just another day in the life of a vicar for him. He’d shared stories about how Nonna had put aside her own pain to work on beautiful floral displays for weddings and other funerals, and how much those gestures had meant to strangers Eileen would never meet, but whose hearts she’d touched the way she’d touched the lives of everyone who knew her. That was Nonna all over and Izzy couldn’t have put it better herself.
She still hadn’t said more than a handful of words to Noah, even at the funeral, but she’d watched him comfort Pops in the moments after Nonna had died, and in the days that followed. Her grandfather took Franny up to the church every day, to visit the place his wife had loved so much, and to walk the dog with Noah and Pablo. Izzy had no right to encroach on that and her grandfather needed Noah in his life. If she’d tried to talk to Noah and things had gone badly again, there was a risk that it might be the thing that drove him out of Port Agnes. She knew know that it wouldn’t be because he wanted to run away from a problem, but because, somehow, he thought that not being around made it easier on everyone else.
The counsellor the hospice had put her in touch with to talk about losing Nonna, had uncovered so much more than her grief in their first appointment, just as her grandfather had suspected they would. She understood now why Noah had felt the need to go to Scotland. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for all the things she’d said and the way she’d lashed out. But if she did that, and he rejected her apology, there’d be nowhere left to go. At least by avoiding him altogether, she could convince herself there was still hope.
‘How was your walk?’ Izzy had one more day before she was due to go back to work, so she’d made lunch for her grandfather while he was out with Noah.
‘Good and I’ve come to a decision about the house in Redruth.’ Pops had coped far better with losing his wife than Izzy could have dreamt. He had that same sense of calm that Nonna had got when she’d started visiting St Jude’s. Whatever was behind it, Izzy was grateful; having to watch Pops fall apart would have made this whole situation even harder. James had given the same reading at Nonna’s funeral as he'd done at Gracie’s, and it had definitely given Pops some comfort. He might not be able to get his wife back, but he was going to her instead, day by day, wherever she was.
‘That’s big news. So what have you decided?’ Izzy wasn’t even sure what she wanted the answer to be.
‘I want to stay in Port Agnes.’ Her grandfather’s tone was determined. ‘Your grandmother loved it here, and we did so much together here these last few months. She wanted you to settle here too and buy a place of your own, you know that.’
‘I’m staying with you, wherever you decide to go.’
‘No you’re not.’ Pops held up a hand, indicating that there was no point her arguing. ‘If I start to lean on you now, I might never stop. I want us to be close by Baby Belle, but I can’t have you putting your life on hold for me forever. Your grandmother would never forgive me.’
‘I wouldn’t be putting my life on hold.’
‘Yes, you would and I’m not going to argue with you about it.’ I’ve spoken to the holiday let company and extended the rental on the houseboat until the New Year. That gives us another three months to find a place. A little garden flat will do me and Franny just fine, so there’ll be plenty left over for me to help top up the deposit we saved for you over the years.’
‘You and Nonna have already given me more than enough.’ Izzy still couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her grandfather, let alone taking anything else from him.
‘It’s my money and I can do what I like with it.’ Pops raised his eyebrows. ‘Your grandmother said she wanted to know you’d be living here when she was gone and to make sure I got you settled somewhere nice. And you know what else she wanted, don’t you?’
‘What?’ Izzy had a horrible feeling she knew what was coming.
‘For you and Noah to stop playing silly buggers and realise what the rest of us can see; that you’re made for each other.’
‘It’s too late for us.’ Making such a blanket statement felt safe, like she was the one in control. Considering any other option meant she'd have to allow herself to be vulnerable again and that had pushed her to the edge once already. It was easier to keep telling herself that it was better this way, despite the voice inside her head screaming at her for throwing the chance of something real away. The only trouble was that voice suddenly had an echo.
‘Codswallop. One of you just needs to make the first move.’
‘It’s not that easy, things were said and—’
‘It’s as easy as you want it to be.’ Pops cut her off, fixing his eyes on her face and waiting for a response, but she couldn’t answer. There was every chance he was right again and that she was just making excuses. But sometimes the fear of rejection could stop you in your tracks, and this was undoubtedly one of those times.
Noah was finding as much solace in his daily walks with George as the older man had said they gave him. As bittersweet as it was to hear about Izzy and not be able to see her himself, it was still good to know that she was coping okay and was even ready to go back to work. George was a clever man, but no matter how subtle he tried to be in his gentle encouragement for Noah to contact Izzy again, it was still a central theme of their conversations. Just this morning he’d made another suggestion.
‘Why don’t you just pop down to the unit when she’s back and see if you can get Izzy and the rest of the midwives involved in your next fundraising project?’ The truth was, there was nothing Noah would have liked better than to see Izzy, but she had to want it too. He’d done his best to reach out to her after Eileen’s death, but each time she’d turned away from him and he’d finally stopped messaging her. She’d lost one of the people she loved most in the world and having him keep contacting her, when she clearly didn’t want it, was the last thing she needed.
So as much as George wanted it to all work out, and as often as he said that’s what Eileen wanted too, it wasn’t going to happen. Not unless Izzy had a complete change of heart, and that looked less and less likely to happen. He had to accept the situation for what it was, but that was proving almost impossible. She was on his mind all the time, and at least when he was with George, he knew there was someone he could speak to whose whole world revolved around her too.
He'd just come back from his latest dog walk with George when his mobile rang. The calls from his mother were increasingly welcome. The stilted conversations they’d always had seemed to be a thing of the past, now that she’d opened up to him, and he couldn’t help noticing how much more freely she laughed. Whatever the press might have reported, ‘cheating TV vicar, Rodney Andrews’ had clearly done his wife a massive favour.
‘I thought I’d catch you before you got busy with work.’ Even his mother’s voice sounded slightly different, as though someone had mixed warmer tones into it. ‘Your father has finally called me.’
‘To apologise and admit what a total arsehole he’s been?’
‘What do you think?’ It was clearly a rhetorical question. ‘He wanted to discuss finances. Well, the house really.’
‘He should just give it to you.’ As far as Noah was concerned, his father should do the decent thing and walk away with nothing, but that was never going to happen. His parents had lived in the vicarage in Devon all through his father’s career, but so that they’d have their own home when he retired they had bought a large four-bedroomed house in Surrey, that they rented out for an eye-watering amount every month.
‘He wants to buy a house in Devon and for me to have the Surrey one, with 300,000 pounds set against it to buy the place he wants.’
‘I bet he does. Tell him to get stuffed.’ A pulse was throbbing in Noah’s temple. If his father thought he was going to take anything else from his mother, then he’d have to get past Noah first.
‘It’s a good deal, more than seventy-thirty in my favour. The house in Surrey is worth well over a million pounds.’ His mother gave an audible intake of breath. ‘And I’ve already said yes anyway. We’ve got to get it all drawn up legally, but I want to sell the Surrey house as soon as the tenants come to the end of their contract.’
‘I still don’t think you should give him anything.’ Noah hated the idea of his father taking advantage of his mother, but there was a baby to think about in all of this and his mother clearly just wanted to be free. ‘But if it’s what you want, it’s your choice.’
‘It really is.’
‘Where are you going to live if you sell the Surrey house?’
‘Here. In St Andrews, with Fiona.’ Angela paused for a moment, but Noah had no response. He was still trying to work out how he felt. She’d seemed so happy there, but it was right at the other end of the UK and he didn’t know whether to feel pleased that she seemed so certain about where the next phase of her life would start, or robbed of the fact that this new relationship they seemed to be building would be so remote. Although the truth was, there was nothing keeping him in the West Country either. Not without Izzy. ‘I love it up here, the beach is perfect for the dogs and I just feel so at home. Fiona is going to put her place on the market too and, when I’ve sold the Surrey house, we’ll go fifty-fifty on somewhere around here that’s a bit bigger, with a garden I can really put my stamp on and that still has room for the dogs to have their own area to turn into a mud bath.’
‘It sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.’ Noah’s shoulders relaxed and he realised that his overwhelming emotion was one of relief. His mum was okay, more than okay, and he didn’t need to worry about her. ‘I’m really happy for you Mum. I think it’s going to be great.’
‘I know it is, it means I can help you too. And before you start protesting, let me finish.’
If his mother was about to offer him money, he wasn’t going to take it whatever she said. Angela deserved a stress-free early retirement. She’d worked tirelessly in his father’s shadow for the church and the charities it had supported, without any of the recognition Rodney had got. He didn’t want her to have to work now; she was sixty-six next birthday and she should be able to do whatever she wanted with the money that had always been intended to top up her state pension.
‘Even when I’ve paid your father off, put money into the new house with Fiona, and paid off all the taxes and fees, there’ll be a good chunk left over. I want you to have it.’
‘That money is for your retirement.’ This was one argument Noah wasn’t going to back down on.
‘I don’t need it.’
‘How do you know? I don’t want you missing out on stuff because your pension isn’t enough to cover it, just because you gave me money when I didn’t need it.’
‘But you do need it. I don’t want you stay with the church if you don’t want to. You can use some of the money to spend time working out what you really want to do with your life, whether that’s the church or something else, and the rest you can give to charity if that’s what you want. And knowing you, my boy, it probably is.’
‘That’s another way I’m like you then.’ Noah shook his head, even though his mother couldn’t see him. ‘But it’s time to look out for you.’
‘I have been actually, for quite some time.’ His mother sighed. ‘I know I should probably feel guilty about this, but after everything that’s happened, I’m finding it hard to.’
‘Do I want to hear this?’
‘You need to.’
‘Okay.’ Noah wasn’t sure he was ready for any more revelations when it came to his parents, but he couldn’t imagine his mother doing anything she’d have to feel guilty for.
‘Your father never got involved with the rental of the house. He said he was far too busy with church work to do admin like that. So he let me deal with all of it, and the truth is, I’ve been squirrelling away bits of money over the years. Not enough for him to notice. But doing little things, here and there, have meant it’s built up quite nicely.’
‘What sort of things?’ Noah was already struggling to stop a slow smile from creeping across his face, at the thought that his mother had got one up on his father after all.
‘One thing is that he thinks we’ve been paying an accountant to do the tax returns every year, but I’ve been doing them myself and sending the money I told him we’d paid the accountant to Fiona who has been putting it all into an account for me. There’s quite a lot in there. On top of that there’s the account your father does know about, with the profits we’ve made from renting and we’ll be splitting that fifty-fifty too. I know I’ve cheated your father out of some of what’s rightfully his, but you don’t have to worry about how either of us will manage financially. Giving you some of the leftover money from the sale of the Surrey house, and donating a bit to my charities too, will make me feel less guilty about what I’ve been doing to your father all these years.’
‘You have nothing to feel guilty about!’ If his mother had been there, Noah would have attempted to give her what would probably have been the first ever high-five of her life. She’d played a total blinder. ‘I think it’s brilliant and actually far less than Dad deserves, but what on earth made you do it for so long?’
‘It was something Fiona and I talked about before you were even born, when I realised how different your father and I were. She called it my F U fund and I don’t think I need to tell you what that means.’
‘You really don’t.’ Noah couldn’t help laughing this time. ‘But I want you to give Fiona a big hug and kiss from me, because that was a brilliant idea.’
‘So you’ll take the money?’
‘I won’t, but there are a couple of good causes I’d really love to help out.’
‘Okay, but I’ll be keeping some of the money back for you, because I want you to be able to retrain, or go back to university and do whatever it takes to find your passion in life. Don’t waste as long as I did; find your St Andrews now.’
‘Thanks Mum.’ A wave of pure affection for his mother washed over Noah. Wherever he ended up and whatever he ended up doing, he was going to make plenty of time to visit her and Fiona in Scotland and he knew they’d be happy to see him.
About an hour after his phone call with his mother, she’d sent him an email detailing the amount of money he’d be likely to get from the sale of the Surrey house, reiterating that she’d be holding some back for his future. He wasn’t going to argue with her about that now, they could revisit that later, but there were three calls he needed to make after he got the email. The first was a call to the hospice to let them know that St Levan’s would be receiving a sizeable donation in Eileen Redford’s memory.
The second phone call was to Henry at Domusamare who’d been left speechless by what Noah had told him. With the money raised so far – the totals from the Just Giving page, including the sponsorship from the fun run and the fee Noah had got for his story, as well as the donation he’d pledged to make in his mother’s name – there was more than enough for the charity to finally give the go-ahead for Gracie’s Place. Henry had also agreed to set up an annual education bursary in Robbie’s name. It would help at least one person each year to get on a training course that could be the key to turning their life around, the way Robbie never could. That left just one more call to make, but Noah wanted to do this one in person.
‘You’ll never guess what!’ James was beaming from ear to ear when he opened the door of his and Nicole’s cottage. ‘I’ve had a call from Henry; they’re going to be able to fund Gracie’s Place. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.’
‘That’s brilliant news. How did Nicole take it?’
‘She’s upstairs on the phone to her parents about it now. We’ve both been crying since we got the news, but for the first time in ages we’ve got a reason for happy tears.’ James looked like a kid at Christmas. ‘Sorry, come in, come in. I’m still so gobsmacked, I don’t know what to do with myself.’
‘It’s so great that people at risk in the community will have a chance to get the help they need, because of Gracie.’
‘And because of everyone who’s raised money in her memory. It’s got the go-ahead because of an incredibly generous pledge from someone called Angela Andrews. I’ve got no idea who she is, but we’re wondering if Nicole’s family know her from somewhere.’ James still couldn’t stop smiling. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea or coffee? Sorry, I haven’t even asked why you’ve popped round.’
‘Don’t worry about a drink—’ Noah had been about to launch into what he wanted to say, when James suddenly turned to look at him, his mouth dropping open.
‘Andrews.’ He furrowed his brow. ‘Your mum’s name’s Angela, isn’t it? I saw it in the paper.’
‘She won’t want any fuss. I should probably have done it anonymously.’ Noah had thought about it, but he’d finally wanted his mother to have the recognition she deserved and he hadn’t expected James or Nicole to know her name or put two and two together.
‘She might not want any fuss, but she’ll be getting it! We can never thank her enough, but can she really afford to do it, with what she’s going through?’
‘It’s a long story for another day, but you don’t need to worry about any of that. It’s sort of the reason why I came over though. She asked me to find some worthy causes, so I spoke to the hospice where Eileen was cared for, and to Henry, but there’s one more really good cause that I want to support.’
‘What’s that?’ Nicole had suddenly appeared in the doorway and the smile on her face mirrored her husband’s. ‘Sorry for eavesdropping, but now I know why my parents had no idea who Angela was either.’
‘Sorry, I would have told you, but Mum just wanted it all to be anonymous, so she left it to me to pick the causes.’
‘It’s the most amazing thing anyone could have done.’ Nicole still looked so fragile and the strength of her embrace when she hugged Noah took him by surprise. ‘Please tell her how much it means to us.’
‘I will.’ Noah smiled as Nicole pulled away, but he had more to tell them and this might be the biggest news of all. ‘I just hope you’re okay about the final cause we’ve chosen.’
‘What is it?’ Henry echoed his wife’s words from moments earlier and Noah took a deep breath.
‘A brother or sister for Gracie.’ He held up his hand. ‘Before you tell me there are a million other causes out there we could support, I know that. But you’ve already shown you’re amazing parents and that’s the cause I’ve chosen to support. I’m not going to take no for answer. This money is going to fund whatever treatment you guys decide you want, or to help you if you ultimately go down another route to becoming parents. Either way, it’s yours. So please don’t argue with me.’
‘I’m not going to argue with you, but I am going to do this.’ James planted a kiss on Noah’s forehead and pulling away, he was already crying. ‘I don’t know how to ever thank you or your mum for any of this.’
‘I haven’t got any words.’ Nicole was smiling and sobbing at the same time. ‘I’ve been praying so hard, but I thought the best I could hope for was being granted the strength to accept that Gracie was the only chance we’d have to experience being parents. There’s nothing I can say that even comes close to expressing how much this means to us.’
‘I’m the one who should thank you. I wouldn’t have got through any of the last few months without James and you both supporting me when you were going through the worst time of your lives. Whenever the time comes, I know James is going to be as amazing a minister as you’ll both be as parents.’
‘Keep talking like that and I’m going to have to kiss you again.’ Just like his wife, James was half laughing and half crying, and Noah had tears in his eyes too. Everything was coming together, except for one final piece, but no amount of money could buy him the one thing he wanted most.