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IZZY GASPED.
The sickening sound of her trying to catch a breath woke Gunner from his light sleep.
He sat straight up. His eyes fixated on locating her through the darkened room until finally finding her rising from her chair, and letting the blanket pool at her feet. The rocking chair knocked against the wall from the impact of her standing, yet she paid no attention to the clatter.
He scolded himself for acknowledging the moonlight’s casting glow glistening against her silky smooth porcelain skin.
Rising to his feet, he watched her turn her back to him, pulling the shredded curtains apart across the window, full strength light now canvassing her beauty. Her messy hair tumbled across her back, shooting from side to side as her head whipped in every direction. She pushed her hands off the chip-painted window frame and moved to the next window doing the same perimeter check. He said nothing, asked nothing, giving her space to calm down before he spoke. But he quietly followed her from room to room as she calmed her nerves, seeking to confirm that whatever she was afraid of wasn’t out there.
As she left the bathroom, he gently touched her arm, not to cause her alarm. “Are you okay?”
She ripped away from him, taking several steps back. Her eyes shot up to his. “Don’t look at me like I’m that girl.” Her snarl sounded sad.
Back in the living room, she grabbed her cell phone from the floor and swiped the screen. A moan left her and he guessed she was counting down the hours until their departure but not impressed by the amount left.
Collapsing on the rocking chair, she closed her eyes, and pressed the tips of her fingers against her eyelids.
Gunner picked up her blanket from the floor. “Did you hear something?” He held it to her. “Or did you have a nightmare?”
She glared at him and refused to accept the blanket. “I wouldn’t call it a nightmare. Just a bad dream.”
“Or a memory...”
“No. Not a memory. There’s nothing to remember.” He didn’t believe her. “I haven’t had this dream in a long time...” Her drowsy voice floated between them. “And then I woke up here and, I don’t know. It’s nothing.”
He lowered himself in front of her, covering her legs with the blanket. When he should walk away and leave her to deal with her shit, he didn’t. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She let out a breath. “No. it’s nothing. It’s not even a big deal.”
“A fear doesn’t have to be big to have an effect or importance on a person.”
“I’m too tired to figure out if you’re being serious or harassing me.”
“I’m not harassing you.”
Izzy took a deep breath before saying, “When I went missing, my mind created believable hallucinations. I mean seriously convincing hallucinations.”
She stopped talking, so Gunner gave her a nudge. “What did you hallucinate?”
A sad smile stole her lips, but memories haunted her eyes. “That morning, I remember chasing my oldest brother through the brush. The one behind our house...this brush.”
Her eyes glanced out the dirty window as a tremor stole her dainty body. He’d forgotten she sat there only in a bra until that moment. He wanted to fetch her dry clothes, but was afraid to break the bond between them. Innocent and scared...two things he’d never imagined her to be.
“We grew up playing in these woods like it was our own personal playground. Everything from taking hikes and fishing in the summer to tobogganing and ice skating in the winter. Before I went missing, I loved all those outdoor activities. But I’m the youngest and, back then, I was forbidden to go in the woods alone. I wasn’t alone that day. I was with my brother, or I followed him and he hadn’t noticed.” A throaty painful laugh pushed out of her. “I followed him because he said I couldn’t and I didn’t like that answer.”
Gunner felt the corner of his lips rise at her confession.
“I guess somewhere I lost sight of him and that’s when the hallucinations began. I saw my brother meet a man I didn’t recognize. I used to be able to see his face for years later, but now it’s blurry. My brother was older, likely around sixteen, and I was young. Six...maybe. He left me alone with the older man—”
Gunner’s quick inhale made her shake her head. “It wasn’t like that,” she quickly said. “And it wasn’t real.”
“How do you know?”
“When they found me, I was dehydrated, out of sorts and it turned out my brother hadn’t met anyone. Everything else I’d remembered at my young age is foggy now, a grey area in my head. Events are missing. But the space is there, as if it’s ready to be filled.”
She rubbed her temples before dropping her hands back to her side. “Child therapists told me none of my supposed experiences happened and eventually a child can only be told it didn’t happen so many times before they start to believe it. And I ultimately believed it, but I get this feeling in my gut every time I see this brush. Every time I look out the window. Shouldn’t the unsure feeling be gone? If nothing actually happened shouldn’t the fear be gone? Or am I scared because I was lost? I don’t know. I can’t define either.”
Izzy closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. “I’m sorry for dropping this on you. I haven’t had these nightmares since I was young. Sneaking into the camp every year, I thought I’d conquered them...until tonight. And I only started the camp thing to spite Robert.” She scrubbed her hands across her face and groaned. “I’m a hot mess,” she said through her hands. “This isn’t me. I have it more together than this.”
She dropped her hands and her serious eyes landed on his. He felt her mood shift, lighten. Her eyes became a little less worried and her shoulders relaxed a bit.
“This isn’t a side of me that my family or friends have seen or even know about. This was me when I was six and scared. I’m overtired and a little shaken from the accident. I’m not myself.”
He rubbed her knee. “I’m nobody to you. Being a hot mess in front of me doesn’t count. I don’t mind.”
“But I do.”
Gunner stood, taking her shaky hands in his. “Come sit with me and tell me how sneaking supplies into a camp site began with Robert.” He pulled her shaky body to her feet and lead them to an old overstuffed chair where he tugged for her to sit on his lap.
She stood, reluctantly. “There’s a bed in the bedroom.” Her whisper hardly touched his ears. “My sister, Anya used it and left sheets and a blanket in there. I think sometimes she comes up her with her boyfriend.” She paused. “Will you sleep with me?”
He might have considered touching every last inch of her body earlier, but now, in her fragile state, hell no. He’d already taken advantage of her once and he surely wouldn’t be doing it again.
She must have caught his reluctance because she clarified, “Just sleep.”
Sleep he could do.
In the bedroom, they found the bed made with fresh sheets and a blanket, as she’d claimed. They lacked the old musty smell the rest of the cabin held. They looked like high-quality resort sheets.
Izzy crawled under the blanket first and gave a bounce. She grinned at him. “It’s pretty rough. A little lumpy.” She laughed. “A lot lumpy.”
He purposely lay on top of the blanket, making the material their boundary...as if that would help if she touched him.
Please don’t let her touch me.
He hated to admit it, but her touch was his kryptonite. He tucked one arm under his head and the other firmly pressed against his side. A spring dug into his shoulder, a bump raised his ass in the air, and a rut caved one foot down. Yes, this mattress was lumpy, to say the least.
He felt her wiggle beside him. With the glow casting through the window beside them, he could see her movements from his peripheral vision. She started by lying on her back, her knees hiked in the air, bouncing up and down. A few seconds later she rolled onto her side, away from him.
Good.
Then she rolled toward him again, gathering the blankets, tugging them from beneath him and making herself a cocoon around her body.
His body tensed, if it were possible in his already on-edge position. Her sigh floated to his ears. Her fingers tapped the blanket and although he couldn’t hear or see, he could feel her restlessness. If she kept this up, she’d drive them both mad.
“Tell me about this secret drop off you took me on tonight.” Keeping both their minds on any topic besides lying together almost naked would be wise. Especially considering she’d moved so close to him that her body heat radiated off his in a warming and soothing way his body relished in. Combined with her sweet smell invading his nostrils, he couldn’t close his eyes without envisioning her crawling on top of him, stroking his bare chest, kissing his waiting, longing mouth—
“I anonymously drop bags of supplies off once a year to help the camp out.” She said it in a way, that made it sound like an end to a conversation that hadn’t started yet.
Why? Because she actually didn’t want to discuss the camp? Or were her thoughts riding the same line as his, waiting for a sign, hoping for a green signal, and needing to touch him as much as he wanted to touch her?
“Anonymously? Why all the games? Stealing a canoe, sneaking in. Why not just tell them it’s you instead of going to all this trouble?”
“Spoiled girl thrill.”
He winced at the ceiling.
“There’s nothing more thrilling than sneaking onto a camp and being chased by a stampede of children.” Her tone dripped sarcasm.
“I think it’s more than that.” He tilted his head slightly toward her as she propped herself up on one elbow. Her waves of blonde hair cascaded down over her shoulders and over the blanket tightly swathed over her breasts.
Gorgeous.
“I’m not looking for recognition. Like I said, it started as a vendetta against Robert after he sabotaged the camp’s donation cheques. You know, Robert style. Threatening and blackmailing the contributors so he could buy the land for his own selfish purposes. Without the support, the camp couldn’t afford to keep up the bills and supplies. Since everyone feared Robert, they didn’t dare step up and help, so I started sneaking over random supplies. At the beginning, it proved to be extremely difficult because, if Robert had found out, he would have cut me off from my allowance. And trust me, there’s no spoiled in broke girl.”
He chuckled.
“I would sneak into the city to go on a massive clothing shopping spree, flaunt my parcels to the family and then sneak it all back out and exchange it for supplies. The money aspect was trickier. I sort of weaseled the money from my mom to the charity without ever leaving a paper trail. Although, I’m pretty sure she thought I was keeping the money, as if I needed to.”
“All this to spite Robert?”
“At the beginning, yes.”
“You returned clothes to spite Robert?”
“Yes. He didn’t deserve the land and he needed a reality check thinking he could treat people the way he did.” She lowered her tone and with a chuckle said, “I had some pent up anger towards everyone lying to me.”
“Had?”
“That’s a whole other story we couldn’t possibly finish before dawn.”
“How long?”
“Since high school. About ten years.”
“Ten years. Wow.”
“It’s sort of a big deal in Willow Valley. They honestly have no idea who the caped crusader is and I change it up every year to keep them on their toes. I’ve done a fall drop off and a winter, just to throw them off.” She yawned, a good indication that her body was on its way to sleep. She lowered her arm back onto the pillow and rested her head.
Now he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He tilted his head sideways.
“The camp makes souvenirs every year.” She giggled. “It’s sort of hilarious really, and you’re the only person, besides Abby, who knows the part I play. So if I get caught, I will know it’s because of you.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Her eyes fluttered closed and a sweet smile curved her lips upwards. “I believe you. You’re leaving and not likely returning.”
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
But the difference this week compared to two weeks ago was he could come back. Soon, he’d be free to book a room at any resort to take a well needed vacation. He’d be able to walk the streets without worry of being shot in the back. Life would be different.
His tiresome thoughts mingled within while watching the rise and fall of her delicate shoulders. Her lashes swept across her skin, her lips part ever so slightly. He’d guarantee this woman left a mark with whomever she met, but today he’d had the divine privilege of meeting a sincerely good woman.
Against all odds of her corrupt family, her heart shone brighter and bigger than she gave people glimpses of. The depth of her shocked the shit out of him...impressed him, even. How the hell was she so amazing?
Eventually, his eyes fell closed. He wouldn’t fall into a deep sleep, he never did.
He felt Izzy’s body shift before her warm breath touched his arm. “Gunner?”
“Mmhm.”
“What are you hiding from?”
His jaw clenched and his eyes opened to slim slits. “I’m hiding from myself.”
“You shouldn’t.” She touched his arm, sending powerful jolts of desire through him. He mustered all his strength not cover her mouth with his for a midnight snack. “You’re a good guy. Past the asshole exterior.”
“You’ve known me all of two minutes.”
“It’s the moments. Not the amount of time. We’ve had a lot of moments.”
“I might not be a Caliendo, but there’s a reason I know what happens in the torture room and I wasn’t on the receiving end.” He didn’t mean to scare her, however, falling for him wasn’t an option, either.
Izzy retracted her hand. “Should I be afraid of you?”
“Are you?”
She sighed. “No.”
“I might not be the same man I was back then, but hiding doesn’t make me a better one.”
He looked at the ceiling.
Morning couldn’t come soon enough.