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LATER THAT EVENING, Izzy snuggled under the thick feather duvet on her bed. The hours she’d spent with Gunner in the pole room had been incredible but being tucked against his side with her head lying in the crook of his arm amplified the feeling and they weren’t even having sex...anymore.
The side of her face rested against his bare skin and her hand splayed across his chest while enjoying the swirling designs his fingers played on her bare arm. She’d use the word bliss to describe being wrapped in his arms with this complete feeling of contentment settling along with it.
“What’s the deal with you and your dad?”
So much for bliss.
His inquisition trampled on her contentment. Didn’t he know these moments of silence should be treasured because she rarely ever stayed this quiet in the presence of another person? And she liked content. She didn’t want all the problems of her life weaseling their way into her time with him.
“You’re passing a fine line,” she said, unmoving. “Stepping over the ‘sex-buddies’ line and moving into the ‘friends’ line.”
“Titles don’t interest me.”
That didn’t surprise her but she, liked her titles: Caliendo Princess. Little rich girl. The lists could go on.
“And relationships, do they interest you?”
His finger stilled, digging slightly into her skin. “No.”
“So, without a better choice of a title, we are doing the ‘friends with benefits’ thing then?”
She felt his body shrug against hers. “I hadn’t planned on the friends part.”
She tilted her head to look up at him, loving the sexy way his messy hair emphasized his drowsy eyes. “So you planned on sleeping with me? When was the exact moment you decided you wanted to have sex with me?” She remembered how she’d wanted to strip him naked when she’d first seen him popping in and out of the bush.
“The moment I saw you. You’re a damn sexy woman and I’m a man. I notice a cute ass and nice rack.” His hand wrapped around her back and slapped her rear.
She smacked him right back. “Jerk.”
He caught her hand by his chest, threading his fingers in hers. “Our supper on the beach,” he answered, passion stealing the weariness from his eyes. “And the night we spent in the cabin. When I saw the pieces of you that you choose to hide from people.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t hide myself from people. What you see is what you get. I am who I am and I let people know it.”
He brought her fingers to his mouth and his lips gently grazed her knuckles. “You’re feisty and all talk, hiding the parts of you that I think you should share. You have a big heart and kindness, both things I hadn’t expected from you. Your love and caring in a world full of secrets and lies is incredible. All of those things bundled together attracted me to you more so than your cute rear.”
Her eyes drifted away from him at words she hadn’t expected, and not sure she wanted to hear. They caused a fire of emotion inside her where her contentment had been only minutes ago.
“That’s cute, too.” She felt his fingers under her chin, lifting and forcing her to look at him. “The uncommon shyness that steals you away once and a while. It’s cute.”
She didn’t feel cute.
“I do know almost everything about you,” he said. “Your file was very detailed...”
“You should have run after reading my file.”
“Maybe I’m a sucker for punishment.”
His teasing made her smile. “Or maybe you’d had a taste for me and couldn’t get enough.”
He chuckled, tucking his arm behind his head and leaning back.
“I know nothing about you,” she dared to say. His dark world might be off limits, but all this sharing shouldn’t be one-sided. She needed to know something about him.
He lightly pinched her side. “Maybe, just maybe, I might give you a little if you tell me the deal between you and your dad.”
She didn’t get her hopes up as she laid back down against his side. He’d likely tell her the obvious—that he didn’t do pole dancing or stripping.
“Okay, what do you want to know? Be specific because I get bored quickly and may change my mind.” She tapped her fingers on his chest.
“Why do you call your dad Carl?”
She shrugged. “That’s the name he expected me to call him. From the day I was born, they raised me to call him Uncle Carl. Why would I call him anything else, now?”
“Because he’s your dad.”
“Now. Now he’s my dad.” Needing to occupy her hands, she mindlessly ran them along the grooves of Gunner’s abs. “But all my life he didn’t want to be. We were all aware of my paternity, even if they didn’t know I knew. Robert, Mom, me and Carl knew and yet, to him, I was just his niece.” Her fingers stopped. “Everyone expects me to understand the difficultly and hardships of what my parents were going through with Robert, and I do. Especially now, after seeing the torture room and comprehending his ruthlessness, but what I don’t understand is why Carl, my blood father, didn’t stand up for me. Or claim me. Protect me from Robert.”
“You don’t think he did those things?”
She tilted her head to look at Gunner. “I know he didn’t.”
“When did you find out Carl was your dad?”
She sighed, looking back at his chest, her fingers picking up where they left off. “Right before high school. I wanted to attend public school but Robert opposed. My mom fought him and I nagged him until he finally caved. And that night, in one of his rages of anger he told me the truth about Carl. I would say the words that escaped his mouth had been a mistake, but the way he told me and the look across his face afterwards...did Robert ever make mistakes?”
“Is it possible that your mom wasn’t the only one requesting your wish to attend public high school? Maybe Carl had a say, too. Perhaps he had a say of many things in your childhood you weren’t aware of.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t twist it to make Carl the good guy.”
“I’m not twisting it. I’m presenting the accounts of your childhood to you from a different aspect. If you see another side maybe it’s because there is one.”
“Or maybe there’s not.”
His chuckle rumbled against her body. “You’re stubborn.”
“Your turn. Tell me something about you.”
He took a deep breath and she prepared herself for him to toss her off the bed and make a beeline out the bedroom door.
“When I was young, I moved from foster home to foster home until I realized there wasn’t much my foster parents could do, or wanted to do, so I left. Lived on the streets, in abandoned houses, or crashing at friend’s houses.”
She said nothing, giving him the opportunity to continue and not wanting him to shy away from talking to her. When he said nothing more, she asked, “Didn’t you go to school?”
He nodded. “I finished high school while living all over. My foster parents didn’t care as long as they got their cheque. I made an appearance here and there to prove everything was good.”
“What happened to your parents?”
A few long seconds ticked by before he answered. “I don’t know. I never met them. At least, I don’t remember meeting them. I’ve been on my own for as long as I can recall.”
His fingers began stroking her arm, long, wistful strokes like he was contemplating something. “I’d been alone for so long it had been all I knew, but I also knew how to invest money in stocks and come out with a hefty profit. For a lot of my life, that was where I spent my time. Alone, but in rooms with people, and satisfied because that had been all I identified with.”
“That’s sad,” she said. “My family is crazy, but I don’t know what I would do without them.”
“Have you told your dad that?”
She lifted herself onto her elbows to look at him. “What’s with the need to fix me and Carl?”
His hand gripped her face and he leaned in for a short kiss. “Because whether you believe it or not, your dad is one of the good ones. I’ve been reading these files and, trust me, there’s nothing about his involvement. I strongly believe anything he’s done in the past was for your protection, safety or just to make your life a little easier because, woman, your family is a little crazy, but they’re your crazy and you’re lucky to have them. Don’t take them or your dad for granted.”
She heard him, she really did, but it couldn’t be that simple. He didn’t understand her pain, the longing inside her, the torture of watching Carl and wondering why he didn’t want her.
She leaned down and kissed Gunner’s mouth. “The only thing I don’t want to take for granted right now is my time with you.” She nibbled on his lower lip. “We have limited time before you leave me...”
Forever. She hated associating that word with him, but she didn’t want him to stay either...did she?
No. That wasn’t even an option. This lying in bed thing with a man who spouted off words, that if she knew what a sonnet sounded like, she would bet his came close. It muddled her mind.
She moved away from him. She almost climbed out of bed and asked him to leave. Why? Because she didn’t do sleepovers or emotional relationships, even if they didn’t plan on spending the rest of their lives together, the entirety of their evening had messed with her head. But her feet wouldn’t listen to the warning from her brain.
She propped herself up on one arm, holding her arm across the blanket to cover her breasts and glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Why were you arrested? Does it have anything to do with why you live in the woods? Are you hiding? Or in danger?”
Warning flickered through his eyes, and she recognized him shutting down. Apparently, he might be able to dig into her open-book life, and snoop in her files, but when it came down to him, the answers were off-limits.
“All of the above.”
She couldn’t believe he answered and felt her mouth drop open from the shock of it.
He grinned.
This conversation had taken a turn she hadn’t expected.
“There it is again.” He nudged her chin before sitting up to kiss her. Soft, gentle and sweet, all the things she would never expect him to be. All the things she’d never want him to be, but right now, they were perfect. “Popsicle, if I tell you my past I will be putting your life in danger. Being here right now is a risk. It’s selfish of me because I can’t get enough of you. But I shouldn’t be here.”
He moved away, ready to slide off the bed. Another turn in their conversation, but one she didn’t like.
“Gunner, wait.” She touched his arm, squeezing her fingers around him. “There are so many risks in my life. You said it yourself, Robert has made my life that way. You’re the one risk I want.” She paused, running her fingers down his arm and gripping his hand. “Please don’t leave. Spend the night with me. Remove yourself from everything waiting on the other side of that door.”
His darkened eyes looked at her. “You’re dangerous for me.”
She smiled. “There’s going to be immense danger if you keep calling me popsicle.”
He laid back down, pulling her with him. Against everything she’d ever believed, she liked the feel of a man while she fell asleep. Or, maybe just the feel of this man.