“Bloody hell! Are you sure?” Mike muttered, using Bethan’s car seat to nudge his way through the throng. He’d assumed all the cars outside Dan and Adele’s place belonged to Dovedale residents, so he hadn’t grumbled much about them having to park on the main road and lug Shu’s present and his daughter all the way to the apartment. Judging by the filled-to-capacity—and then some—living room, he’d assumed wrong.
“Welcome to a Circle kids’ party,” Krissi said drolly.
“Where are the kids?” Charlie asked, which was a good question; it was all adults as far as the eye could see.
“Bouncy castle out back.”
Mike stretched to peer over the heads of everyone else. Beyond the apartment’s small patio and lawn was a bigger communal garden, where Shu and about twenty other four-year-olds were reaching bionic altitudes on an enormous, sparkly pink bouncy castle. “Where’s Dan?”
“Feeding Robbie. Bedroom, I think.”
“That’s handy.” Bethan needed a nappy change and quite possibly a nap. “You OK here?” Mike asked Charlie.
“Yep. You want me to get you a beer?”
“Yeah, cheers. See you in a bit.” Mike dodged back through the crowd to his brother’s bedroom and knocked on the door. “Dan? Can I come in?”
“If you must.”
Mike opened the door, stepped inside, and quickly closed it again. “It’s mad out there.”
“You’re not wrong.” Dan was sitting on the bed with Robbie fast asleep in his arms. “I’m just making sure he’s settled,” he said with a wink.
Mike laughed. “Adele invited them all, then, did she?”
“Yeah, though most of them are Shu’s classmates’ parents. They’ll be gone soon, and Shu’s been up since…well, I don’t think she slept at all, to be honest. So she’ll be having an early night. Then it’s just us grown-ups.”
“Oh, right.” Mike spread Bethan’s changing mat on the bed and lifted her out of her car seat.
“I hope you’re all right with that,” Dan said.
“What?”
“I know you’re not comfortable with social gatherings, and it’s a bit underhand, but…Adele and Shaunna thought it best not to say anything.”
Mike paused with a baby wipe in mid-air. “What are you prattling on about?”
“We’re having a barbecue after the kids’ve all gone home.”
Mike finished cleaning Bethan’s bum—only wee—and put her clean nappy on. “And?” he prompted.
“And…we thought you’d refuse to come.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, for Shu’s birthday party.” Dan was suddenly very attentive to his son. “Which finishes at half four.”
“Half four?” Mike repeated. Dan gave a regretful nod. “What time did it start?”
“Two.”
Now he’d figured out what Dan was telling him, Mike was torn between calling him a knob and laughing at the ludicrous lengths they’d gone to in order to get him here. They really wanted him to come that badly? “Maybe next time, just try inviting me?”
“Thing is, bro, we did that last time.”
“Yeah, and I was gonna come, but Adele went into labour.”
“And the time bef—were you?”
“Yep. I went down to yours to tell you, but you’d already gone to the hospital.”
“Ah.” Dan looked sheepish.
Mike could see how bad Dan felt about lying, and while he was a bit pissed off about it, he could understand why they’d done it.
“Look, I’ll hold my hands up. I’m not sociable like you and our Andy. I’m not sure you two would be, either, without the mates you’ve got. We can’t all be that lucky.”
“Friendship’s not about luck, Mike. It’s about putting yourself out there, taking a chance on other people.”
“Yeah. I get that. What can I say? I’m a slow learner.” He was trying to alleviate Dan’s guilt, but there was an element of truth to his words. Mike hadn’t put himself out there, first because he couldn’t be bothered to make the effort, and then, when he finally did, he’d fallen into Rachel’s trap. Slowly but surely, with the help of Shaunna and Charlie—and his brothers—he was beginning to accept that friendship was worth the effort. “Anyway,” he said, “I’ve brought a mate along. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. Anyone I know?”
“Charlie. And she’s driving, so I can have a beer.”
“Good stuff.” Dan shuffled to the side of the bed and carefully got up so he didn’t disturb Robbie. He put him in his cot and turned back to his brother. “You know, Mike, being single’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not. But it’s no fun playing gooseberry. Me and Charlie were talking about it on the way over, and we’re gonna be each other’s plus-one as and when.”
Dan considered it for a moment and nodded. “That’s a good idea. Sort of friends with benefits, if you get me.”
Mike felt the heat rush up his neck and tried to come up with a jokey retort to throw Dan off. There was another knock at the door.
“You decent, bro?”
“No!” Mike and Dan answered at the same time. The door opened anyway.
“Alright?” Andy asked, frowning as he looked from one to the other. They both nodded. “What you up to?”
“Settling Robbie,” Dan said. Bethan had fallen asleep on her changing mat. “You want to leave her in here, Mike?”
“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“No worries. I’ll get the travel cot.” Dan dodged past his brothers and out of the room.
Andy put his hands in his pockets and gave Mike an artificial smile.
“It’s all right,” Mike said. “He told me.”
“Sorry.”
“I’ll forgive you this once.”
“You came with Charlie, she was saying.”
“Yeah. I was teaching her how to hang wallpaper. She agreed to come with me.”
“Being single is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Oh, for fu… Dan just said exactly the same bloody thing. I’m not ashamed. I kind of like it, as it goes.”
“Shame, that. You and Charlie—”
“We’re mates, that’s all,” Mike interrupted. Andy’s eyebrows rose. “Shaunna and Sean aren’t screwing each other, are they?” It was a defensive low blow, and Mike regretted it the minute the words left his mouth.
“I dunno. They might be.” Andy grinned, and Mike was grateful to him for letting it pass.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t be grinning if they were.”
“No, maybe not. But I know what you mean. Me and Charlie are mates and nothing more. It’s purely platonic—except when we talk waves, then it goes a bit deeper.” Judging by Andy’s dreamy expression, he wasn’t joking. He shook himself out of it. “Anyway…what were you saying?”
“That me and Charlie are just mates.”
“That’s right.”
“Like…you and Jess were.”
Andy turned and looked him in the eye. “Err…Mike?”
He nodded to confirm Andy’s interpretation. “Don’t tell Dan, though, will you?”
“No worries.”
“Tell me what?” Dan passed between them and started setting up the travel cot.
“Oh, err…” Mike began, but he had nothing.
“Mike was just—” Andy circled his hand, like he was winding his brain in a bid to come up with something “—wondering…how much you’re selling the apartment for.” He shrugged apologetically, but there was no need. Dan had always been the same: if they could get him talking about money and his chances of making some, he’d instantly forget everything that had preceded it. It was a brilliant, well-practised diversion, and Mike would’ve high-fived Andy, except it would’ve given the game away.
“You know what?” Dan said. “That’s not a bad idea.” He put the mattress inside the cot and turned to Mike. “How would you feel about renting?”
“The travel cot?”
Dan laughed. “No, you plonker. The apartment.”
“Oh!” Mike scratched his head, a delaying tactic so he could gauge whether Dan was serious. He certainly seemed to be. Mike nodded. “Yeah. If the rent’s right.”
“We’ve still got to find a house, but it should be this side of Christmas, and we can discuss it, negotiate a mutually acceptable rate. Deal?”
Mike took his time settling Bethan in the cot so he could mull it over. On the one hand, he didn’t want to be in thrall to Dan; on the other, the apartment was exactly what he was after. He stood up straight again and held out his hand. “Deal,” he said. He and Dan shook on it.
“Nice one,” Andy said. “Right, shall we get back out there and join in the fun?”
Dan checked he had his phone and ushered his brothers towards the door. “You just wanna get on that bouncy castle.”
“Too bloody right.”
They made it outside in time to watch Shu blow out the candles on her birthday cake. It was a princess-themed, two-tiered Wotto special. On the top was a tiny princess that looked strikingly like Shu and which Adele quickly removed for safe-keeping before Krissi ‘helped’ Shu cut up the cake and dole it out—along with party bags—to her friends.
The children and their parents departed, leaving family and Dan and Adele’s friends…The Circle. Mike knew them all, some better than others. Shaunna, for instance…
“Glad you came,” she said, stopping to hug him on her way to refill her wine glass.
“Me, too.” Mike followed her progress. She’d never know how grateful he was for all she’d done for him over the past few months. He honestly believed he wouldn’t have made it through without her support, or Andy’s.
“You need another beer, bro?”
“Yeah, cheers.” Mike swigged the last inch from his bottle and gave it to Andy. All those years they hadn’t got on, and it turned out it was just as their mum had always said. They were too alike, and these days, Mike was more than happy to accept the comparison—to either of his brothers, in fact. He looked around for Dan, eventually spotting him outside, with Shu in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder while he swayed her from side to side. She was loving her daddy’s attention, but the poor little mite was shattered.
A bottle of beer was pushed into Mike’s hand, and he snapped out his trance in time to see Andy head over to Shaunna. He gave her a lingering kiss and then whispered something in her ear that made her smile.
“Alright, mate?” Aitch said, stopping next to Mike.
“Alright, Aitch. How you doing?”
“Not too bad. Dan was telling me Rachel’s been causing grief again.”
“Yeah…not grief, as such. It’s sorted now, anyway.”
“Good to know. Listen, if she gives you any more trouble, give me a shout. I’ve got a couple of things on Ms. Perry that’ll shut her up once and for all.”
“OK.” Mike didn’t want to know. “Cheers, Aitch,” he said, but Aitch was already on his way out to Dan.
“More fun than hanging wallpaper?” Charlie nudged him playfully.
“I’ll come back to you on that one.”
She nudged him again, not so playfully this time, and he grinned.
“D’you know what I’ve done? Left that condom on the windowsill. My mum and dad’ll be home by now.”
“Oops.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m fifteen, is it? Mind you…” She chewed her lip in thought. “That’s Teddy’s old room. I might just say I found it under the bed.”
“Is your mum that bad?”
“No. She’s that Catholic.”
“My mum had a condom drawer.”
“Really?”
“Really. Ask her if you don’t believe me.”
“Err, no.”
Mike laughed. He’d had ‘the talk’ when he was about ten and had avoided any subsequent conversations with his mother about his sex life. At forty-four, he thought he’d probably be able to manage without lessons in the birds and the bees, although he’d thought that when he was forty-three, and he’d been wrong, but he’d never make that mistake again.
“The birthday princess is going to bed,” Dan announced, carrying Shu through the living room, stopping for kisses from grandparents, aunties and uncles, biological or otherwise. When he returned, he fired up the barbecue and patio heaters, and most people went to sit outside.
“We’re going home, Michael,” his mum said. “Do you want us to take Bethan?” Before Mike could get a word in, she continued, “We’re taking the twins, and…I know she’s been with her grandma most of the day, but it’ll save you having to worry about getting her to bed.” She rubbed his arm and smiled up at him; she wasn’t offering for his benefit.
“Yeah, that’d be great, Mum. Thanks. I’ll come and give you a hand.”
***
“Guess what.”
Dan and Andy looked at each other and rolled their eyes. “What?” they asked in unison.
“Fine. If you’re not interested…” Josh started to walk away.
“We are,” Dan said quickly.
Josh turned back. He looked decidedly superior. “Someone’s bought the Comco stadium.”
“How d’you know?”
“I’m afraid it’s confidential.”
“Josh, please?” Andy said, or whined, really. Josh ignored him.
“Do you know who’s bought it?” Dan asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“Right.”
Josh folded his arms and grinned. He was waiting for Dan to give in and ask the question, and Dan really didn’t want to, but they knew each other of old. Josh would hold out, just for the fun of it, until Dan was begging shamelessly to know what he knew. Unless a suitable distraction came along…
George slid his hands around Josh’s waist, encapsulating him from behind and murmuring close to his ear, “Adele asked if you want a coffee. She’s putting the kettle on.”
“Sweet nothings…” Dan muttered to Andy and averted his eyes, a little embarrassed but also highly amused by the way George could turn his husband from stubborn stoic to blushing romantic with a touch and the offer of caffeine.
“Is he winding you up?” George asked.
“No, he’s been quite—” Josh started to answer but stopped when George tutted. “Oh!”
George chuckled and kissed Josh’s cheek. “You’re very warm,” he observed, with a mischievous wink at Dan and Andy. “D’you think you should maybe move away from the barbecue?”
“I will…soon,” Josh said. “I came over to tell them about the stadium.”
Uh-huh?” George released him. “Do I need to hold your coffee to ransom?”
“No.” Josh smiled and batted his eyelashes. “I’ll tell them now.” George looked doubtful. “Promise.”
Seemingly taking him at his word, George left.
Josh watched him retreat, all the way to the kitchen, and then turned to Dan with a wicked grin, but Dan was past playing games.
“Who bought it?” he asked.
“A local non-profit company.”
Dan scratched his chin, fighting back a smile. There were times Josh’s wind-ups really pissed him off, but he had a feeling this one was worth waiting for, so he asked, very slowly, “Which local non-profit company?”
“Are those sausages cooked yet?” Josh examined the barbecue. “Those at the back look done.”
“So help me, in a minute, I’m gonna—”
Josh shifted his attention back to Dan and studied him for a moment before decreeing, “You’re overdue a refresher on your anger management technique.”
Dan laughed in disbelief. “You’ll say that in front of my brother, but you can’t tell us who told you about the Comco stadium?”
“It was a joke. I don’t give refreshers, nor have I ever—”
“Josh, just bloody tell us, mate.”
“Seeing as you asked so nicely. Ellie called to wish little Shaunna a happy birthday, and she happened to mention that James is coming up this way tomorrow to sign off on some trust projects.”
“With you so far,” Dan said to demonstrate he was.
Andy chuckled. Dan glared at him, and he busied himself with turning the sausages.
“You were saying,” Dan prompted.
“Yes, James is coming up tomorrow…” Josh nodded as he said each word. Dan nodded with him and then shrugged. Andy snorted beer out of his nose. It landed in the flames, making them hiss and sizzle.
“Sleep deprivation,” Josh concluded. “Or a lobotomy.” He leaned closer to Dan and squinted at his forehead. “No scars, though.”
“Sleep deprivation,” Andy confirmed at the same time lifting his arm to block Dan’s forward trajectory. “Don’t hit him, bro.”
“I wasn’t going to.” He pointed. “Your sausage is on fire.”
Andy glanced down at his pants first and then at the barbecue. “Ah, crap.” He quickly shoved the sausages out of the flames and tipped his beer over them. “Marinade,” he said.
Josh laughed. “You two are utterly hilarious when you’ve had a drink.”
“I’m still waiting for you to get to the point,” Dan said curtly.
Josh sighed. “Andy, could you explain, please. I think I’m getting a migraine.”
“No worries.” He turned to Dan. “You listening?”
“I will if anyone says anything worth listening to.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Andy picked up one of the sausages and shoved it in Dan’s mouth to make sure he couldn’t interrupt, or that was the plan. “OK. Comco stadium is now—”
Dan pulled the sausage from his mouth and finished Andy’s sentence. “—a Campion Community Trust project.”
“Well done!” Josh said.
Dan was stunned. “Jay bought—”
“—the stadium,” Andy said, nodding.
“But I’m a—”
“—trustee? There’re five of you. It only needs—”
“—three signatures. I know. Would you stop—”
“—interr—”
“No, really. Pack it in.”
“I’m going,” Josh said. “Although, actually, I was reading a very interesting study last week, which posited the theory that finishing each other’s sentences and speaking at the same time are phenomena more frequently observed in monozygotic—”
“We’re not twins!” Dan and Andy said in unison, followed by, “Fuck.”
With a know-it-all smirk, Josh returned to George—now bearing coffee—and left them to their beer and barbecue.
“I hate it when he does that,” Dan grumbled.
“Who does what?” Mike asked coming up between them and nicking a sausage. He bit the end off. “Why does it taste of lager?”
Dan thumbed in Andy’s direction. “When people call us twins.”
Mike frowned. “Yeah, I don’t like it much, either, to be honest. Two’s company, and all that. I think Shu’s nailed it, actually.”
Andy raised his beer bottle to his brothers and waited for them to do the same. “Here’s to Team Jiffies?”
“Team Jiffies!”
They bashed their bottles together. Three arcs of frothy beer shot up into the air and landed with a whoosh-splash, successfully extinguishing the barbecue.
The End
* * * * *