Robbie tucked her ticket into the pocket of her suit jacket and studied the small room she was able to get until morning. Shabby, but still nicer than her room in Edinburgh. Not wanting to think about Gavin, she thought about her future.
She would go to Lydia and tell her everything. She would sleep on the floor of the clinic if she had to, if Lydia would allow it. That wouldn’t be any worse than where she’d been before this. Probably better, knowing how Lydia felt about clean floors.
On the bright side, she still had her job. Ah, but it had been hard enough to write that drivel before; how would she stomach it now? She would have to. She had no choice.
Thoughts of Gavin hammered at her consciousness, insisting on being heard. To be fair, she wasn’t totally surprised at recent events. Had not there been one or two occasions when she wondered at his demeanor? Like when he had helped her from the coach and looked into the interior, had he been looking for Birdie, thinking perhaps that Robbie had simply accompanied her?
And he never appeared as delighted to see her as she was to see him. Not once. Colin was more attentive, truth be told. And how foolish she must have seemed! Blithely ensconcing herself into Gavin’s home and his life before she’d even seen the interior of the mansion. She was such a fool.
She sagged onto the bed, slid off her shoes and lay down, covering her eyes with her arm. She refused to cry, but tears slid down her face into her ears. Get it over with, she told herself. She didn’t need or want pity. She was stronger than that.
Faith Baker’s innuendo returned loud and clear. She wondered at the truth in it, but had no reason to disbelieve the woman. What did it matter now, anyway? Robbie was leaving and they could continue their affair without hindrance. She wondered if he would have quit sleeping with the woman if Birdie had actually shown up.
The full awareness of her folly hit her, and she stopped her tears. She was the biggest fool, wasn’t she? She had just wanted it so badly; she refused to see all of the hints that surrounded her from the beginning. Humiliation. That’s what she felt; abject humiliation. And it was her fault; no one else was to blame.
“Stupid girl,” she muttered.
It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door. With a heavy sigh, Robbie got up and crossed the room. Probably the innkeeper, she thought. She wiped her face and opened the door. And looked up into Gavin’s beautiful blue eyes. “What do you want?”
He looked contrite. “May I come in, please?”
She opened the door and let him enter, closing the door behind him.
He turned and studied her, frowning. “You’ve been crying.”
She huffed and spun away from him. “You’re some detective, aren’t you?”
“I know what you must think of me—”
“Oh, let’s not go into that,” she interrupted. “The only mistake you made was proposing to the wrong sister. I guess that could happen to anyone. I’m the one who should be blamed, for assuming the letter was meant for me when I knew deep down in my soul that you’d barely looked at me ten years ago and that Birdie had stolen your heart.”
“I admit that was true. But to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how things would have worked out had Birdie showed up on my doorstep instead of you.”
She swung around to face him, surprised at his answer. “What do you mean?”
“Yes, Birdie was pretty. I wasn’t the only lad who thought he wanted her heart. Was she self-involved?” He shrugged. “I didn’t know it at the time. It didn’t matter. Was she shallow? Probably, but again, a young lad doesn’t often look beneath the skin.”
“So what are you saying?” she asked cautiously.
“We’re all adults now. If Birdie hasn’t changed, she wouldn’t be the woman I would want as my wife.”
Head high, Robbie answered, “And now I suppose you’re going to tell me I am.”
“Yes.”
Robbie stumbled and grabbed the back of a chair, her ears ringing. “You’re saying that now you want to marry me?”
“Yes.”
Robbie collapsed into the chair, her hand covering her mouth. What could she say? In spite of what he’d done to her, she still loved him. He didn’t love her, but perhaps she could love enough for both of them. “Are you certain?”
Now he smiled, one that reached his eyes. He pulled her from the chair and into a warm embrace. “Yes.”
• • •
Gavin watched her acclimate herself to the house and the staff. One day he found her tending to a cut on Ben’s arm, cleaning it, wrapping it, telling him to make sure he changed the bandage every day, and that if he couldn’t do it himself, she would help him.
She went into the garden, but not to pick the flowers. Instead she would sit and weed the patches, sometimes for hours. He would notice that by dinner time, the freckles on her nose had become more pronounced and her face had more color. She was quite fetching, really.
At night, when he made a tour of the house, he often noticed a light in her window when everyone else but him was asleep. He pondered it; he was curious. Couldn’t she sleep? He would have to ask her.
During the time Robbie waited for her new wardrobe, she strolled the grounds, investigated the empty wings of the house and spoke with all the staff. She and Gavin did not breakfast together, but Robbie understood that he was busy, and she managed by herself.
She took her breakfast alone in the breakfast parlor where the cook was told to make Robbie anything she wanted. Robbie took a spoonful of the warm porridge and closed her eyes, savoring the flavor. So this was how it was supposed to taste. Warm, rich, thick and laced with honey; a proper feast. She reached across the table for a roll, one she’d come to love, which was called a “bap” but was simply a light, floury roll that melted in one’s mouth. If she wasn’t careful, she’d get fat just eating breakfast.
As she ate, her gaze wandered around the bright, sunny room. Yellow flowers with lively green stems papered the walls; the ceiling was high and white, the floor was a dark, rich brown wood, probably oak, she thought, like in the dining room. But in truth it was one of her favorite rooms. It was warm and cozy and friendly.
Mrs. Murray scurried into the room. “Your dresses have arrived.” She gave Robbie an excited smile.
Robbie’s stomach fluttered. Suddenly she couldn’t take another bite of food, delicious as it was. She swallowed. “Everything?”
With a knowing smile, the housekeeper said, “Aye, even your wedding gown.”
Robbie released a rush of air. “Does Mister Eliot know?”
“He’s waitin’ for ye in the conservatory.”
With more self-confidence than she felt, Robbie took one last sip of tea, dabbed at her lips, and pushed back from the table. Before she left the room, she poked her head into the kitchen and thanked the cook for breakfast.
She had waited for this day, but also dreaded it. Gavin had been nothing but kind and courteous since she’d agreed to marry him. They had supped together in the gigantic dining room, which they both agreed was superfluous. They had even had a few lively discussions about the state of the country, which had astonished Gavin. He admitted that he didn’t know many women who were interested in the policies of the land. At times she could feel him watching her. She wondered what his thoughts were. Robbie quietly thought about her writing and wondered what this scholarly man would think of her if he knew. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
The conservatory was at the far side of Gavin’s study. She had marveled at the room weeks before, but since it was virtually empty, she hadn’t returned. It was constructed of wrought iron and glass and had cast iron beams soaring into the skylight. She hadn’t tended plants much, although as a girl, she had grown some lovely rose bushes that even some of the noblewomen at home had praised.
She poked her head around the door. Gavin stood by the slanted windows, hands clasped behind his back, appearing to study the landscape beyond. She stood a moment, gazing at him, noting his wide shoulders and narrow hips, and a stab of desire rose up inside her. She loved everything about him, down to the tiny mole he had on his left earlobe. She wondered if anyone else had even noticed it. She must have made a noise, for he turned.
“Good, you’re here. Come,” he said, motioning her to the far side of the room where the sun was streaming in over a leather couch.
Once they were seated, he gazed at her, a look that made Robbie uncomfortable. “Are you ready for a wedding?”
“Aye, I am.”
He took a deep breath. “Here’s what I thought we would do. Correct me if you want to change anything.”
As if she wanted to change one single thing! Oh, maybe just one, she thought, gazing at his beautiful face and feeling her love for him pour through her veins.
He took her hands. “I thought perhaps we should marry quickly then plan a ball and reception for our friends and my family.” He studied her a moment. “Is there any family you would like to invite?”
As much as Robbie wanted to shove her marriage to Gavin in Birdie’s face, she couldn’t do it. “No. Besides Birdie, I have no other family living in Scotland, and if you don’t mind, I’d rather not see her just now. Perhaps later.” Perhaps never.
“I understand. My family, as you well know, is quite large and awfully noisy. I hope they won’t annoy you too much.”
Robbie remembered them well. “You have the kind of family every girl wants, didn’t you know that?”
Puzzled, he asked, “What do you mean?”
“There always seemed to be such joy among you and your siblings. Did you never fight? My sister and I were nearly always at odds. I recall watching your older brother carrying your baby sister on his shoulders, through the streets, not caring that some of the lads heckled him because he was doing ‘a woman’s job.’” Robbie shook her head and smiled. “Your family was amazing.”
Gavin looked thoughtful. “I suppose you’re right. I had never really thought about how they appeared to others; I just took the lot of them for granted.”
“Do you miss not seeing them regularly?”
Gavin leaned back and rested his arm along the back of the settee, innocently touching the back of Robbie’s neck. She was afraid to shift in her seat for fear he would move it.
“I do miss them. I’ve thought to bring my little sister, Cassie, here, just to give the others a break. She’s a precocious one, she is,” he finished, giving Robbie a warm look. “But now, of course, I’d talk it over with you before I made the decision.”
“Oh, Gavin, I still feel like the interloper. As far as I’m concerned, your entire family could camp out with us.”
“I fear their boisterousness would have you running into the woods.” He studied her a moment, then slapped his knee. “Now, let’s get do some planning. I’m anxious to wed, aren’t you?”
Oh, Robbie thought, you have no idea.