TREK FAIL!
By award-winning Trek writer
Robert T. Jeschonek
*****
Read The Whole Trek It! Series
Trek This!
Trek Off!
Trek Fail!
Trek Script!
Trek Script 2
Trek Novel!
Trek You!
Trek It!
*****
TREK FAIL!
Have you read the Star Trek novel that tells the story of Redjac's eternal battle with immortal Flint from "Requiem for Methuselah?" What about the comic book story that takes Pavel Chekov to the Soviet planet Soyuz II, where he meets the ghost of Yuri Gagarin? Did you see the episode of Voyager that features Tuvok facing pon farr while the crew battles an alien who dies in the first act but keeps coming back for more? How about the weekly web serial bringing together a team of time-travelers including Tasha Yar, K'Ehleyr, and a humanoid avatar of the Guardian of Forever?
These are just a few of the Star Trek projects that I've developed and pitched to book editors and website producers through the years. Some were fails, epic and otherwise, and some were not.
This book will explore these many Trek pitches and proposals. As you read them, see if you can guess whether they went on to become FAILS or UNFAILS. After each one, I'll give you the answer and tell you the true story behind the story. In doing so, I'll open a window on my Trek writing career and give you a look at my creative process. Why do some ideas win contests while others become epic fails? This book will give you some insight, and some glimpses of fascinating Star Trek worlds that never were. You can't read about them anywhere else but here.
Looking back at my Trek writing career provides tantalizing glimpses of projects that could have been, along with the ones that did come to life. Would the unrealized adventures of Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Janeway, and company have shone brightly as worthy additions to the Star Trek saga on film, online, and in print? Or did these fails spare us from tales that wouldn't have measured up to the ones that made the cut? You be the judge.
Impulse Speed: Fan Fiction
My introduction to the world of Star Trek was the reverse of the usual route. My love of Trek started with the printed page instead of the T.V. screen. As a child in the 1970s, I was hooked on the adaptations of the original series episodes written by James Blish and the animated episodes by Alan Dean Foster. After getting into the books, I watched syndicated episodes of the original series, which truly blew my mind and hooked me for good.
After becoming addicted to Trek through the print novelizations, I flipped when Bantam began issuing original novels and anthologies based on the series. Though these novels and anthologies were few and far between, I eagerly snatched up and devoured every one of them. Because of those books, starting with Spock Must Die and Star Trek: The New Voyages, I first got the idea that I might someday be able to write my own original stories about Trek. I remember fantasizing often about walking into the local bookstore and seeing my name on the spine of a Star Trek book on the shelf.
Eventually, I took the fantasy a step further and wrote Trek fan fiction. This early work was far from perfect, but it did feature some interesting ideas. For example, my unfinished novel, Beyond the Final Barrier, features an alliance between the Federation and the crystalline Tholians. Working together, the Federation and Tholians plan an excursion to another galaxy...at least until the Tholians' irredeemably evil sister species, the Yumerians, launch a blitzkrieg attack.
Another project centers around a killer Vulcan suffering from a disease that drives his emotions out of control. A mission to stop him turns deadly when a human bounty hunter who hates Vulcans--or "Points"--comes gunning for Mister Spock.
Then there's "The Sacrifice," in which the Enterprise crew encounters a Klingon ambassador and his assistant, K'Vill Kirzz, an actual good-hearted Klingon. K'Vill came along years before DC Comics' friendly Klingon Konom and Star Trek: The Next Generation's Worf...though K'Vill never did see print. Maybe, in an alternate universe where "The Sacrifice" was published, he made history as the first Klingon "good guy" in Star Trek.
Warp One: Teleplays
For a true Trek fan like me, the movies were pure Nirvana. Star Trek: The Motion Picture was like a religious experience; I basked in every frame like it was a revelation from God Himself (or was that V'Ger, "the God Machine"). Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was equally wondrous for different reasons; the film's emotional power, culminating in the death of Spock, left me reeling (and brought me back for multiple viewings).
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock was almost as strong, and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was just plain funny and exciting. Each new movie added fuel to the fire of my love for Star Trek and my desire to become a part of it someday as a writer.
Then came Star Trek: The Next Generation, a TV sequel that brought new weekly adventures to the small screen. Preceded by bad buzz, the show started out shaky...then went on to become a worthy successor to the original series. Led by Gene Roddenberry himself, the creative team had an impressive grasp of what made the Trek universe great and how to reproduce it with a brand new crew. Best of all, as I soon discovered, they would consider unsolicited script submissions. If accompanied by a signed release, scripts would actually be reviewed and considered without the need for a high-powered Hollywood agent.
It boggled my mind. If I wrote a Star Trek: The Next Generation script, and the producers liked it, my script could become an actual episode of the show! How could I pass up such an amazing opportunity?
After studying various sample scripts from the show, I sat down and wrote my own, called "A Grain From A Balance." Take a look at the summary and see if you can guess what happened. Was "A Grain From A Balance" a fail or an unfail?
Star Trek: The Next Generation: "A Grain From A Balance"
FAIL or UNFAIL?
The story begins with Data, whose nose grows Pinocchio-style when he tells a lie. The growth is caused by two travelers from a subatomic universe who are passing through on the way to a higher level of reality. The travelers, "One" and "Two," try to persuade members of the crew to join their quest...but they just want to drain the crew's life-energy to fuel their travel. In the end, the Enterprise crew thwart the travelers' plan, preventing them from ascending to the next level. But the journey continues when One sacrifices himself to give Two the energy she needs to travel onward and find the ultimate answers to the nature of existence.
The title comes from a verse in the Book of Wisdom in the Bible: "Before you, the whole universe is as a grain from a balance or a drop of morning dew come down upon the earth." I thought it was the perfect quote from which to draw a title for an episode about the grandeur and immensity of infinity.
FAIL CALL: "A Grain From a Balance" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! How cool it would have been if "A Grain From A Balance" had become an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Unfortunately, the script became an epic fail because I made one simple mistake: I never mailed it.
I finished it and polished it, but I never believed in it enough to send it to the producers. And that's too bad, because I've looked at it since then, and I think it could have sold. Or at least generated enough interest to inspire the producers to call me in for a pitch session. But now I'll never know.
Thankfully, though, I went on to learn from that mistake and became more courageous about mailing what I wrote. In fact, I made another run at writing a Trek script, and this time, I did submit it to the producers.
The script, "Vendetta," is a Voyager tale focusing on the crew's struggle with an opponent who dies but keeps returning to fight again. The story also addresses the question of what a Vulcan aboard Voyager would do when pon farr, the irresistible and destructive mating drive, kicks into gear while the ship is still stranded in the Delta Quadrant.
Check out the following summary and see what you think happened to this project.
Star Trek: Voyager: "Vendetta" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
Alien Klashar Zule attacks Voyager, accusing the crew of taking everything he holds dear. He says they've battled twice before, though the crew has no memory of this. After Klashar dies in the fight, Voyager pursues a stolen shuttle piloted by Tuvok, who is undergoing pon farr and has kidnapped B'Elanna. The shuttle crashes on an alien world. Voyager meets and defeats Klashar twice more, and each time, he remembers nothing of their previous encounter. This is because Klashar is moving back through time; their first meeting was the last from his point of view. On the planet's surface, Tuvok tries to relieve the pon farr by mating with B'Elanna but doesn't go through with it. Instead, he goes on a rampage and destroys some pods which turn out to contain Klashar's hibernating family. Voyager's crew was unable to prevent this tragedy, which sets in motion Klashar's time-travel attacks. In the end, Tuvok dissipates the pon farr by using an image of his wife on Voyager's holodeck.
"Vendetta" was a fun script to write and a stronger effort across the board than "A Grain from a Balance." I had high hopes as I printed it up and submitted it to the producers of Voyager. Maybe, just maybe, I could fulfill my dream in the most exciting way imaginable, by having my script become the basis of a televised episode.
FAIL CALL: Star Trek: Voyager: "Vendetta" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! "Vendetta" was received and considered by the Voyager team but did not make the cut. Once again, my stab at Star Trek had become an epic fail.
Nevertheless, I still think the script was a solid effort and would have made a great episode. One story element, in fact, predicted a plot twist in a later episode of the show. In the seventh season episode "Body and Soul," Tuvok undergoes pon farr while stranded in the Delta Quadrant and relieves it the same way he did in "Vendetta," by using the ship's holodeck.
I must have been doing something right if I was thinking along the same lines as the show's writers. Maybe I was getting closer to my first big break in the world of Star Trek after all.
Warp 2: Strange New Worlds
In the late 1990s, I found out about the perfect opportunity for a wannabe Star Trek writer like me. Pocket Books, publisher of official Trek fiction, sponsored the nationwide Strange New Worlds contest. Amateur writers could submit short Trek stories which would be judged by editors John Ordover, Dean Wesley Smith, and Paula Block. The winning stories would be published in a Pocket Books collection titled--wait for it--Strange New Worlds.
Maybe I'd dropped the ball by not mailing my Next Generation script, but I wasn't about to miss out on Strange New Worlds. Finally, I had an opportunity to make my Trek writing dream come true beyond the fan fiction realm.
After reading about the first volume of SNW in an issue of Star Trek Communicator magazine, I cranked out a Harry Mudd/Grand Nagus Zek piece titled "When Harry Met Zekky" and submitted it to the editors. I had a ball bringing these two characters together and letting the sparks fly.
"When Harry Met Zekky" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
In "When Harry Met Zekky," "hew-mon" Harry Mudd and Ferengi Zek (a DaiMon at the time) try to out-con each other in order to plunder a fabulously wealthy and (seemingly) naïve species, the Forbosians. Harry uses his silver tongue to win over the Forbosians and threatens to unleash their invasion fleet on Zek's homeworld if he doesn't pay a king's ransom. Zek turns the tables, but the Forbosians have a surprise in store; they've been planning all along to invade both Earth and Ferenginar. In the end, Harry the master con man wins the day, not only ending the invasion threat but obtaining a payoff of incalculable wealth.
Zek's admiration knows no bounds...but his ambition is even greater. He decides to double-cross Harry and take the whole prize for himself: "Thanks to his brilliant work with Harry Mudd, Zek knew that his name would be known and honored by every Ferengi. He had made the big score he'd been looking for, the biggest. It was the kind of history-making swindle that made DaiMons into heroes...and, sometimes, heroes into Grand Naguses. It was hard to believe. Even now, with the prize laid out before him, it seemed like a dream. Not only had he convinced the richest beings in the quadrant to give him all their wealth, but they were paying him to take it away! It was a masterpiece of chicanery, a stroke of genius...and he was still so young! He was amazed that he had pulled it off! Well, he and Harry Mudd had pulled it off. Harry Mudd. Soon to be known as 'old what's-his-name.'" So Zek takes the money and runs, leaving Harry selling makeup to a certain pasty-faced alien species who could use a little color: the Borg.
FAIL CALL: "When Harry Met Zekky" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! In spite of what I still think is a great title, "When Harry Met Zekky" did not make the cut for Strange New Worlds. I was devastated...but the letdown didn't last long. Soon enough, Pocket Books announced a Strange New Worlds II contest for the following year. Determined to succeed this time, I sat down and wrote a second story titled "Ilia's Gift."
This one is a tribute to the Star Trek II TV series that was developed in the 1970s for a proposed Paramount network that failed to come together at the time. Though the show never saw the light of day, several characters created for it were incorporated into Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Commander Will Decker and bald Deltan navigator Lieutenant Ilia played major roles in the movie; Vulcan first officer Xon was only given a cameo, appearing briefly when his body was turned inside-out in a transporter accident onboard the refurbished Enterprise.
I liked to think about these three characters and what Star Trek II would have been like, so I made them the stars of the story. In "Ilia's Gift," I visit their alternate reality and offer an explanation of why their adventures never materialized as they should have. I also answer one of the questions that always nagged at me about Trek: in a universe where time travel exists, why hasn't a hostile species simply gone back in time and eliminated the Federation? (I wrote this story before the film Star Trek: First Contact, in which the Borg attempted just such a strategy.)
"Ilia's Gift" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
"Ilia's Gift" follows the last adventure of Star Trek II's Decker, Ilia, and Xon. The story opens years after the start of the second mission of the Enterprise: "If the first five-year mission had been a wild ride, the second--Ilia's tour--had been the wildest ride ever. She, Decker, and Xon, new kids at the start of the second five years, now were toughened, cagey vets of the interstellar frontier."
While investigating a temporal disturbance, the Enterprise team discovers that the Romulans have used time machines to send back an invasion force to attack Earth before the Federation can be born. Decker, Ilia, and Xon follow the Romulans into the past to try to stop them, only to learn that the timeline has already been changed. A Romulan-Earth War which was never meant to happen has broken out and could lead to the subjugation of humanity.
Ultimately, the Enterprise trio disrupt the invasion enough to ensure an Earth victory...but only Xon makes it back to the future after the fight. He arrives twenty years before he left and discovers he is literally a man out of time. The timeline as he knew it has been drastically altered; in this new history, Xon was never born. He is a living paradox without a home, so he creates a new destiny for himself. Xon goes to live on Delta, where he serves as the guardian and tutor of an alternate version of one of his beloved teammates--Ilia, reborn in this timeline with a fresh start. In the end, Xon gives her what will be a cherished gift: he arranges for her to meet the young Will Decker who has also been reborn in this new timeline.
FAIL CALL: "Ilia's Gift" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! I had a lot of fun writing "Ilia's Gift," but it didn't make the cut for Strange New Worlds. It did, however, lead to an encouraging note from editor Dean Wesley Smith. Dean's note inspired me to try again with a new story for Strange New Worlds III, a story that made me reach higher than ever in exploring the possibilities of Star Trek fiction.
Warp 3: Whatever You, Don't Read This Story
At first, I wracked my brain for weeks, trying to come up with a truly innovative idea for my Strange New Worlds III entry. Then, finally, the idea came to me. It literally burst out of my subconscious fully formed, and I couldn't wait to get it down on paper. Though I wasn't sure if it was something that had been done before, I knew it was something that I personally had never seen.
"Whatever You Do, Don't Read This Story" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
For this piece, I made the story itself a character, interacting directly with the reader. It is a story with a mind of its own, a sentient story that makes people--and sometimes whole species--kill themselves when they read or hear it. The Enterprise crew encounters the story on a post-apocalyptic world, its latest victim. When crew members hear it, they turn self-destructive...except Data, who isn't affected. As the crew attack each other and the ship, Data saves the day by defusing the story in a way that leaves it helpless: he edits it. By exposing the crew to the edited version, he switches off their violent impulses and returns them to normal. Even in its edited state, however, the story holds out hope that it will find someone who can restore it to its deadly form--the reader: "I might not have the old moves anymore, but I'm stickin' to your memory like white on rice. And maybe this backtalk thing I've got going is enough of a gimmick to keep me on the tip of your tongue. Maybe you'll pass me along to somebody else, et cetera.
And who knows? Maybe I'll meet the right nut someday
I mean genius
Who can fill in those blanks like before, maybe better
And we'll get a killer sequel in the works. And I do mean killer."
While writing "Whatever You Do, Don't Read This Story," I worked hard to infuse each page with as much energy as possible. I gave the story multiple levels, both by layering a story within a story within a story and by making it a metaphor for the way that all stories have power and a life of their own. Real-world stories might not possess malevolent sentience, but they certainly have the potential to inspire us to take action for good or ill.
As for the story's snarky self-narrative, it was a blast to write. Appropriately enough, the text rushed out of me as if indeed it possessed a mind of its own.
FAIL CALL: "Whatever You Do, Don't Read This Story" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
UNFAIL! When the story was done, I sent it off to Pocket Books and hoped for the best. The third time turned out to be the charm, and then some. Not only did "Whatever You Do, Don't Read This Story" make the cut, it won third prize in the Strange New Worlds III contest.
I'd come a giant step closer to achieving my dream. A Star Trek book featuring my work would appear on the shelf at my local bookstore...and bookstores across the country and around the world, too. Months after the award announcement, when I walked into the store and found that book on the shelf, I experienced one of the most rewarding and intense moments of my life.
The Secret Heart of Zolaluz
With the third place win for Strange New Worlds III in hand, I looked ahead to my next step on the Trek writing ladder. The choice was clear: Pocket had announced a Strange New Worlds IV contest, and I was eligible to participate again. According to the rules, contestants could win three times before losing their eligibility.
But could I write another winning story? I was determined to give it my best effort.
Looking for an idea, I found inspiration in the life of a friend. At the time, I was working as the director of public relations at a college. One of the students at the school, a Central American girl, had a disability that limited the use of her legs, but she never let it keep her down. She faced a multitude of struggles in her daily life, and she eventually had to return home to a dangerous and economically depressed homeland, yet she remained perpetually upbeat and succeeded in all the challenges that she faced. I wanted to explore the motivation of someone like her in a work of fiction, and I found the perfect counterpoint in the character of Voyager's Seven of Nine. Seven's story, which was really this inspiring disabled girl's story, became "The Secret Heart of Zolaluz," my entry in the Strange New Worlds IV contest.
"The Secret Heart of Zolaluz" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
In "The Secret Heart of Zolaluz," Seven and Captain Janeway crash-land on a jungle planet embroiled in conflict. Janeway is taken prisoner, and Seven is badly injured, unable to effect a rescue. A disabled local woman named Zolaluz renders assistance, sheltering Seven from the authorities and treating her injuries. The likelihood of saving Janeway and getting back to Voyager seems so remote, however, that Seven grapples with depression and hopelessness. But she finds inspiration in the optimism and perseverance of Zolaluz, which enables her to find new reservoirs of strength. With the help of Zolaluz and a band of similarly afflicted outcasts, Seven infiltrates the enemy camp and extracts Janeway. They manage to escape and return to Voyager, thanks to a final sacrifice by Zolaluz, who loses an arm while saving Seven from a machete attack. As Seven leaves Zolaluz's world, she reflects on the lessons she's learned from the indomitable woman: "Who could live such a hard life without harboring regrets or self-pity? Who could be so scarred and not resent those who were free of damage? Who could witness unspeakable acts and still have a sense of humor? Who could lose everything and everyone they'd ever loved and somehow still find more to give? If Zolaluz could do it, then so could Seven."
By bringing together Zolaluz and Seven, I was able to shine a light on the struggle with depression and the human will to triumph over all limitations from within and without. It's a theme that has great personal significance to me.
I poured my heart into writing this story. When I finished, I thought I'd accomplished something noteworthy. I felt strongly that this entry would succeed in the Strange New World IV contest.
FAIL CALL: "The Secret Heart of Zolaluz" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
FAIL! This one didn't make the final list of winners. I was disappointed, to say the least; I'd put so much into "Zolaluz," I couldn't believe it hadn't made a better showing.
At least I would have another shot, since Pocket Books decided to move forward with Strange New Worlds V. And, though I didn't know it at the time, "The Secret Heart of Zolaluz" was destined to find a place in the universe of Star Trek fiction after all. I should have known; nothing could keep Zolaluz down, so it made sense that her story would bounce back, too.
Warp 4: The Shoulders of Giants
After winning third prize in Strange New Worlds III, then failing in the follow-up contest, I wanted to pull out all the stops for Strange New Worlds V. I needed to dazzle the editors so much that they wouldn't be able to turn down my entry.
Working from that motivation, I came up with "The Shoulders of Giants." "Shoulders" evolved from my impulse to see how much I could pack into one story falling within Strange New Worlds' 7500-word limit. My original idea was to show the varying effects made on a single civilization by every known Enterprise captain. I revised this plan, limiting the captains to four: Archer (largely unknown then, as the Enterprise series had yet to premiere), Kirk, Garrett, and Picard.
Once I'd made up my mind to follow this framework, I decided to vary the kinds of stories told within the overall story as much as possible, including variations on a religious text, a quest fantasy, a war story, and a murder mystery. I also decided to tell each story from an alien point of view using a wide range of narrators, including the alien equivalents of an adult male, a 12-year-old boy, and an old woman. I then added plenty of references to Trek lore, from "Vegan choriomeningitis" to Narendra III to Armus.
And so the story took shape.
"The Shoulders of Giants" – FAIL or UNFAIL?
It starts with an encounter between Captain Archer and the primitive, plant-based Kolyati people, who think he's a god and misinterpret his words as a commandment equating murder with holiness. Many years later, Captain Kirk's crew visit the Kolyati, who have developed a society based on religious murder-sacrifice. When McCoy is mortally wounded, a rebel leader abducts him, leading Kirk and Spock on a trail to a forbidden hospital facility. The rebels save McCoy's life, and Kirk brings the death-worshippers around to a new way of thinking, planting a seed that he hopes will change their murderous society for the better.
The next captain to visit the Kolyati is Rachel Garrett (as seen in the Next Generation episode "Yesterday's Enterprise"). Inspired by Kirk's ideas, the Kolyati have gone from a society of killers to a race of total pacifists...but this change has left them vulnerable to Romulan invaders. Working with Klingon allies, Garrett helps the Kolyati people find their inner warriors and save their world.
Which leads to the era of The Next Generation. In the final segment of the story, planet Kolya has become a peaceful place...but that peace is jeopardized by a serial killer on the loose. Working with a curmudgeonly old local cop named Nyda, Picard investigates the crimes, searching for clues to the killer's identity. In the end, though, Nyda is the one who solves the case, revealing the killer as none other than Armus (Tasha Yar's murderer from "Skin of Evil") in the body of Will Riker. Nyda saves the day, driving out Armus and proving that the Kolyati have become mature enough to handle their own affairs.
The story ends with an epilogue jumping even further forward in time to the first Kolyati space shot. A Kolyati leader looks back, assessing the impact of Starfleet and the Federation on his world, concluding that the net result was a good one. Now the Kolyati people stand on the verge of joining the interstellar community and making their own contribution to other species who might need a hand up the ladder.
"The Shoulders of Giants," as you can see, was chock full of details, characterization, ideas, and action. I was pleased that I managed to fit so much into the story, including personal stakes and character arcs for each narrator and captain. My favorite part of this story, however, might just be the story of the old woman, Nyda, who has the chutzpah to refer to Picard, Riker, and La Forge as Snooty, the Bearded Weirdo, and the Wallflower, respectively.
But did it all work? Would it make the grade when I submitted it to the Strange New Worlds editors? I held my breath and dropped the envelope in the mail.
FAIL CALL: "The Shoulders of Giants" - FAIL or UNFAIL?
UNFAIL! "The Shoulders of Giants" received an honorable mention and would appear in Strange New Worlds Volume V. My hard work had paid off with a second breakthrough.
Now what would I do for an encore?
Madborg
After scoring my second Strange New Worlds publication, I felt like I was on a roll. I had Trek publishing credentials, and I knew editors at Pocket Books. It was time to strike while the iron was hot, I thought, and try to sell my first full-length Trek novel to Pocket.
Which Trek era would I choose to write about? Since Voyager was on the air at the time, that was the one I picked. And since the Borg were such exciting antagonists on the show, I knew I wanted to write about them. But I also wanted to give them a new twist.
So I came up with Madborg, in which the Voyager crew face the threat of an overwhelming force of insane Borg in the Delta Quadrant. Only by uniting the quadrant's disparate species into a proto-Federation can Janeway and her team hope to end the threat of the Madborg and their leader, the Borg King, Sequitur.
After developing a detailed outline of the novel, I pitched it to the Trek books team. I was so in love with the story, I was convinced I would get the go-ahead to write the book.
Star Trek: Voyager: Madborg – FAIL OR UNFAIL?
Time Frame: Stardate 54910.5
Between the 7th season episodes "Renaissance Man" (Stardate 54890.7) and "Endgame" (Stardate 54973.4). (Neelix is gone.)