Carrie’s face went pale. She looked at me, her blue eyes wide, starting to put it all together.
“That’s what I wasn’t able to tell you,” I said. “Why I can’t turn myself in. He told me if I did, or if I happened to get caught, or if the news somehow got out about Hallie being kidnapped—he’d kill her! Just like he killed Mike and Martinez. He called me on Hallie’s phone—she was away at school—and he put her on. She’s terrified, Carrie! You can imagine! She’s sure he’ll do what he says.”
“Oh God …” I saw her look change from resolve to sympathy and she put her hand over mine.
“That’s what I tried to say when I first called you. When I asked about your son. And why I couldn’t just give myself in. Any more than I can now. No matter how much evidence we have.”
“Why do you think he’s so determined to ruin your life?”
“I don’t know why! Maybe his daughter came to one of my clinics. You need to have a scrip for Oxy, or be evaluated with a set of X-rays by a doctor, but I don’t know, I can’t completely control where these things might end up. You know what’s going on out there.”
“We have to tell Jack,” Carrie said firmly. “You can’t keep this to yourself any longer.”
“No, no!” My heart almost jumped out of my chest in alarm. “You can’t! You can’t!”
“We have to. This is what they do. They’re professionals at this. We’re just … You can’t get her back by yourself.”
“Can you promise me that word won’t get out the minute the JSO finds out I’ve turned myself in? My name is already on every newscast across the country! You’re saying they won’t go public when I land in the hands of the FBI? They still think I’ve killed one of their own! They’ll think I just made this whole story up, to shift the blame. I can’t live with what might happen!”
“I’m sure I can get Jack to keep it under wraps. These people aren’t savages. They’ll know what to do. What other possibility is there?”
“I know who it is now. He’ll contact me. It’s me he wants! Me he’s put in this rat’s trap. Not Hallie. He’s just using her to lure me.”
“He’ll kill her too,” Carrie said, steadfast. “You know he will. You’re playing with fire.”
I brought my hands up to my forehead. I didn’t know what was right. Or maybe I knew what was right, I just didn’t want to lose control. Now that I was finally so close.
“Once he tells me where he is, then I can call in help.”
“And what if he never calls. What if that phone never rings again. And that’s his revenge. How will you live with that?”
I didn’t answer.
“We need to get the proof,” Carrie said, letting her words sink into me. “Once we can prove it’s Hofer who’s behind it, then you have to let me bring in Jack. Or whoever his team is. I won’t walk away from you.” She clasped her hand over mine. “I promise. I won’t! But this is the only way I can go on with you. This is a murder investigation. I can’t withhold evidence. Not if I know—
“You’ve done everything you possibly can. You found out who it was! But you can’t get her back …” She shook her head. “Not by yourself. You trusted me enough to tell me this, now you have to trust that we can work out the rest of it. It’s the only way.”
I think the only thing that scared me more than the unknown surrounding Hallie was the thought of what I would do to get her back once I knew. I also knew it wasn’t all my call. Liz had a say as well, and I knew exactly what she’d say. She’d agree with Carrie in a heartbeat.
I nodded, about as halfheartedly as I ever had in my life.
Carrie blew out a breath and nodded too. “We get the proof it’s Hofer, and then I call Jack. He’ll get her back for you. Are we all right?”
I slowly nodded again, and Carrie squeezed my hand one last time. And I squeezed hers back.
She smiled. “Now let’s go see a man about a gun.”