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AGENT MAYEUX, GERTIE, Fortune and I raced toward the front door. Shawn stuck close to Fortune like some sort of leathery shadow. One right after the other, we burst into the foyer.
“Who discharged a weapon?” Kase demanded. He held out an arm to restrain Gertie from rushing in to the melee. “Is anyone hurt?”
Lenora Masters whirled around. “Hurt? Yes, you fool, someone has been hurt. I’ve been wounded. Grievously.”
I didn’t see a drop of blood anywhere. “Shall I call 911?” I asked.
Aunt Ida Belle harrumphed. “Don’t waste your breath. The only thing hurt is her precious ego.” The look of disgust on my great-aunt’s face left us all with no doubt as to her opinion on the subject of Lenora’s feelings.
“We heard a gunshot,” Kase persisted. “Where’s the weapon?”
Aunt Ida Belle held up her hands to indicate that it wasn’t she who fired it. Lenora’s hands were clasped together in front of her as if she were posing for a presidential library portrait. Collectively, we turned to look at the three other women who stood in the foyer.
“It wasn’t me,” a frightened-looking woman said. She wore a pale yellow floral dress and clutched a straw bag in front of her as if it were a shield. Her hands shook as she stared at us. I assumed that this was Kitty, aka the ex-Mrs. Donny Masters, the “spineless first wife”.
“Of course, it wasn’t you. You’re too special—” the last word came out as “es-special” in a thick South American accent, “—to know how to fire a gun.” The woman’s accented English and ample display of cleavage tipped me off that this was the second Mrs. Masters. Donny’s two wives were as classic an illustration of country mouse vs. city mouse as I’d ever seen. “Ha. In my country, women are taught to protect themselves.” This proclamation was delivered with a scathing look and a toss of her long dark hair over her shoulder.
I knew who the third woman was before she spoke. Tanned and blonde, everything about her polished appearance said “put-together young professional”. My other clue was the Southern Brides magazine she held clutched to her chest. This had to be Cassandra, the bride-to-be.
“Miss St. James?” She directed a warm smile in my direction. “Oh, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. I can hardly believe you’re actually here!” Her reverent tone matched her flattering words. “I’m such a fan of yours.”
My intent was to graciously return her kind greeting, but Agent Mayeux had other ideas. “Ya’all have thirty seconds to tell me who fired that shot or I’m calling the cops.”
“It was nothing,” Lenora said. She waved a dismissive hand toward the front door. “I simply instructed my groundskeeper to take a pot shot at a mangy beast I thought I saw in the yard.” She cast a disparaging look at my great-aunt. “Simply to frighten it off, you understand.”
***
WE LEFT THE MASTERS in a tense silence and gathered around my great-aunt’s kitchen table. Agent Mayeux sat with us, although he was still so irate that he virtually levitated out of his chair.
“What in the devil’s name made you three think that it was a good idea to follow us?”
Gertie shrugged. “It’s a free country, isn’t it?”
Kase groaned. “Did it not occur to you that you might be interfering?”
“Interfering in what, Mayeux?” Aunt Ida Belle’s eyes flashed. “Why are you so het up about us joining you?”
“Joining us? Is that what you call it?” Kase pounded his fist on the table. “Try stalking.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Agent.” Fortune had been quiet up until this point. “Didn’t I warn you at Francine’s that we weren’t going to be left out of whatever you’re up to?”
I sat silently and listened as the verbal sparring continued. Fortune and Aunt Ida Belle were adamant that they were being lied to. Which they were. For his part, Agent Mayeux was insistent that they were being meddlesome. Which they were. For her part, Gertie simply cheered on whomever she felt was making a valid point. Clearly, she needed to get out more if this was her idea of entertainment. As for myself, I’d soon heard enough.
“Agent Mayeux, if I might just say something.” I tried and failed to get his attention. “Kase, might I add my two cents,” I tried again. No one at the table paid me any heed. I sat back in my chair and folded my hands. Fine. It had come to this. I cleared my throat in as ladylike a fashion as possible and spoke softly. “Honey?”
The frenzied four-way conversation immediately ceased as they turned in unison to face me. Finally.
“Honey?” Aunt Ida Belle asked, one eyebrow raised.
“I think she means Agent Hunky,” Gertie said.
Fortune didn’t try to hide her smirk.
Agent Mayeux turned to face me. “Yes, darlin’?”
Aunt Ida Belle smacked her palm into her forehead. “Oh, Lordy. If she’s calling him ‘honey’ that means she’s in deep.”
“Enough of the bickering. Please. It’s unproductive, not to mention unseemly.” No one disagreed with me, so I continued. “Agent Mayeux and I need you three to kindly stop interfering in our plans.”
Kase slung his arm across the back of my chair. He appeared pleased by my words, a look I knew wouldn’t last for long. My next statement was bound to put the cat among the pigeons.
“We’re trying to smoke out a drug dealer within the Masters family and—” but the rest of my sentence was drowned out by a simultaneous explosion of protests from Aunt Ida Belle, Gertie and Fortune.
And so, the feathers began to fly.
“How dare you put my niece in danger?”
“Lenora Masters deals drugs?”
“Why isn’t the DEA looking into this?”
“What makes you think you can keep her safe?”
“No wonder she gets all those deliveries from New Orleans. Ha, and here I thought it was wrinkle cream she was having brought in by the truckload.”
“Does Carter know you’re snooping around?”
When the ladies gave no indication that they were near done lobbing questions, I held up my hands to call a ceasefire to the bombardment. “You’re not going to get any answers if you won’t let us speak.”
Once order was established, I gestured to my great-aunt. “You may proceed after you indicate whether you have a comment or a question.”
Aunt Ida Belle’s brows knit into a ferocious scowl. “Oh, for the love of Pete—”
“Comment or question?” I reiterated.
“Agent Mayeux, do you seriously think I’m going to let you endanger Stephanie’s life while you go poking around into a hornet’s nest?”
“Technically a question, but I’ll allow it.” Frankly, I was more than a little curious to hear the answer myself. “Agent Mayeux?”
He didn’t look any happier than my great-aunt. “I’m insulted that you think I’d use Stephanie for my own means. I’ll protect her with my life. I give you my word.”
Aunt Ida Belle made a noise that sounded very much like the air being let out of a car tire.
“My turn!” Gertie waved her hand in the air. “I’ve got a question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Does the FBI have any silver fox agents that you can call in as backup?”
“What are those?” Agent Mayeux looked to me for clarification, but I could only shrug. Perhaps they were an elite investigative team I’d never heard of.
“Silver fox, you know, like George Clooney. Pay Gertie no mind,” my great-aunt interjected. “She’s just man crazy.”
Alrighty then. Best to move right along. “Fortune, do you have a question or comment?”
“Question.” Surprisingly compliant, she waited for me to nod before she continued. “Agent Mayeux, does your superior have any idea what you’re up to?” She cocked her head sideways. “Because something tells me that she or he would be more than a little interested.”
“Now hold up, Fortune.” I felt my cheeks flush. “That’s hugely unfair of you to imply that Kase is doing anything inappropriate. Especially considering that your decision to drug him is what got him into hot water at work.”
Kase gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, darlin’.”
Fortune shrugged. “You don’t have to make it sound like I shot him with a horse tranquilizer. We’re talking cookies and milk here. Besides, there’s an element of danger in the work he does, as well as a chain of command and protocol that must be followed. He and I both know that.”
Oh, yes, of course. She’d know all about the dangers he faced as a federal agent based on her imaginary time in the CIA. I resisted the temptation to call her out on her delusion. But I was going to have to talk to Aunt Ida Belle about this. Maybe she could convince Fortune to get professional help.
“Don’t even go there,” Kase growled. Clearly, he was still sensitive about the issue.
I clapped my hands together. “Let’s focus on the matter at hand. Sinful has enough problems without becoming a hub for drug distribution.”
“What kind of drugs?” Gertie asked.
“Geritol, for all we know. Does it matter?” I snapped. The words were barely out of my mouth before I regretted using such a snarky tone. “I’m sorry, Gertie. I have no right to be so unpleasant. Will you forgive me?”
Gertie’s genuine smile reassured me that she didn’t hold my momentary lapse in manners against me. “Of course I do, kiddo. For a second you sounded just like your aunt.”
Fortune snickered. Aunt Ida Belle winked at me. I turned to look at Kase. His smile was sympathetic, for which I was grateful.
“It doesn’t matter what they’re running through here,” he said. “Trafficking is an illegal activity, and narcotics of any kind are going to bring nothing but trouble to Sinful. We agree on that, obviously.”
We nodded.
“All I’m proposing to do is use my administrative leave,” he leveled a look at Fortune that I was glad wasn’t directed toward me, “to see if I can get any sense of what’s going on. I’m a professional agent and I know when to call in backup. Which I won’t hesitate to do, if and when that time comes.”
“What part is Stephanie playing in this?” Aunt Ida Belle had asked the question before, but this time her voice held less rancor, although her concern was still palpable. “She’s an innocent, Mayeux. I’m not going to let her get hurt. Not on my watch.”
Kase leaned forward, his voice low and intense. “Ida Belle, you have my word as a law enforcement officer of the United States government, as well as a man who cares deeply for your niece, that I won’t allow her to come to any harm.”
As their gazes locked, I willed myself not to appear as emotional as I felt. Hearing people expressing their concern for me wasn’t something I was used to. It felt good. I took a deep, steadying breath. “It appears we’re all on the same page, which is fortunate considering we’re all in this together.”
“We are?” Aunt Ida Belle and Agent Mayeux spoke as one.
“We most certainly are.” I retrieved a pen and paper from the counter and sat back down amongst my co-conspirators. “Let’s start with making a list.”
I began to write. Task number one, find Gertie a suitable date for the wedding, preferably someone who owned a necktie. Task number two, find a cocktail dress for Fortune that was snug enough that she wouldn’t be able to sneak a concealed weapon into the wedding reception. Task number three, I wrote, warming to my mission, get Aunt Ida Belle and Walter together for a dancing lesson so they could brush up on their Viennese waltz.
Fortune leaned over my shoulder, scanned my list, and gave a low whistle. “Uh, guys, I don’t think we should let Stephanie lead the parade on this one.”
I waved her away. “You don’t get a vote, Fortune. Please sit down.”
She returned to her seat, looking none too happy about my ascension to a leadership role. “You don’t have the chops for this, Stephanie.”
I set my pen down, folded my hands neatly in front of me, and met her gaze straight on. “I most certainly do. I’m the most qualified person here to infiltrate the Masters’ wedding, and I can prove it.”
She waved an impatient hand. “Go right ahead.”
“Certainly. Now, imagine we’re all seated at a round table for eight. There are four pieces of stemware at each place setting. Which is for white wine?” I paused, but just as I thought, no one did anything other than stare at me. I pressed on. “The appetizer course is over. Yet there are still three forks to your right. What are they for and in which order should they be used?”
Perhaps I should have let it go there but, let’s face it, I was in my element. “When going through the reception line, whom would etiquette dictate be the first to greet us? The mother of the bride or the mother of the groom?” Again, I paused, as a courtesy. “Precisely my point. I’m in charge now.”