I decided to wait to tell anybody until Mom and I went over all the info Mrs. Myeski sent over. Mom told me the Ingénue people had some issues with the BVW TV people and decided the whole thing was going to be a webisode event online. I was relieved, because it sounded way less scary than being on TV in front of a lot of people.
She started reading me the paperwork. "It's just one weekend, and it's a group of girls who were selected from different rounds. You just get another chance at being the Michigan representative in the contest and getting scholarship money set aside for college," she said. "Okay, this doesn't say anything about any guaranteed modeling contracts or anything like that. It's just exposure and another chance to get back into the contest."
I bit my lip. Did I even want another chance at the competition? Sure, if I got further in the show then I had a shot at getting my name out there, but it was an awful lot of stress to put myself through. Was it worth it? Why did I want it after all? I was about to say I wanted to pass on it and see if we could argue that clause in the original paperwork, when I stopped myself. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on, I was scared, but there was something that I found even scarier, and that was wondering, "What if?" for the rest of my life. If I didn't go to Detroit and compete, then I would always wonder what could have been and regretted missing my one big chance. Even if I wasn't sure about modeling anymore, I felt like I needed to prove that I wasn't scared of this. Besides, if my mom could move to another state with me, then I could get through a weekend of Ingénue stuff.
Mom started filling out the paperwork, and I went to my room to read fashion blogs and calm my nerves. I saw I had a message. It was from Vladi.
V.Yagudin: Hey — Hope you're doing okay. I heard you were hanging out with Steve's sister.
I could have written back right away, but instead I texted Kendall and asked her what she had said to Vladi. She wrote back that she told him we went shopping and how cool I was to hang out with.
I asked how he responded, and she said he told her I was sweet and one of those people who was nice to everyone.
Oh yeah, I sound like the girl every guy wants to date: "nice" and "sweet." I was sure that was why everyone liked Yasmin McCarty — her sweetness. Hah!
"He said he liked you because you were different from other girls, and then he said he was sick of fake, mean girls and mentioned my friend, Liv."
Oh, so maybe that did work in my favor. How did anyone figure boys out? I thought he'd go for the Livs of the world. I wrote back and asked if he mentioned Carey or Yasmin at all. She said those girls never came up, so she didn't know.
I wrote Vladi back, saying that Kendall was great and everything was good and asked how he was doing.
V.Yagudin: Pretty good. School's okay. We had a dance recently, and it wasn't much fun.
The dance with Carey? I asked why it wasn't fun. He asked if he could call me or if it was too late. I told him it was cool.
"Hey," he said when I answered. "You asked about the dance, and I — I just didn't like the group I went with. They seemed kind of stuck up and fake or something. It was just a weird vibe, if that makes sense."
"Yeah, I get it."
"I went with someone — not a girlfriend or anything like that, but she wasn't that nice to her friends. She reminded me of how you used to talk about Ericka — like she was supposed to be your friend, but she'd say stuff that you didn't know how to take. Kendall said something about them being 'frenemies' or something."
"Yeah, I guess that's the right word for it," I said. "It stinks not knowing where you stand with someone who is supposed to be your friend."
"It seemed like all those girls in that group were like that. You're not that way, though. I felt kind of dumb because I went along with my friends when they were saying you were way less mature than the high school girls, and then we hung out with these girls, and I was like, 'This is what mature girls act like?' No way. You are way more mature than they could ever dream of being. I'm sorry I ever…you know…went along with them. I just…I never meant to hurt your feelings, and I didn't agree with what they were saying. It was just easier to go along with the crowd or something."
I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. Sure, I was glad he was apologizing, but I didn't know if he was trying to say he wanted us to be friends or anything more. It wasn't that I was afraid to ask him myself; I just wanted him to get all his feelings out, because my emotions were all over the place. In my heart, I wanted to be the girl he liked, but I was also scared that if I was the one, he might break up with me again because of his stupid friends.
"Um, do you think you could…or we could…you know, be friends again?" he asked.
"We can be friends. I was hurt the day you called me. That was the same day Ashanti and I got into a fight, too. It was the worst day ever, and then you called. I was all excited to hear from you, and then you started saying all the stuff about your friends saying I was too young and all."
"Oh man, I'm sorry. Are you two talking again?"
I told him she and I were fine and that everything was good with India, Peyton, and Devon, too.
"Don't take this wrong and this may sound weird, but I could never be a girl. Seriously, you guys — it's like one minute you're all cool with each other, and the next no one's talking to the other one. And then you go back to saying you're best friends. How does that even work?" he asked.
"Don't ask me," I said, and we both started laughing.
"So…do you have a boyfriend now?" he asked.
I wanted to be mysterious and say I was talking to a couple people, but that would make me as bad as those fake girls, so I said no, and asked if he was seeing anyone.
"No, but there's this girl I like."
Ugh, kick to the gut. No, no, nononononono. Why was he calling me then? Did he want girl advice? Oh wow. He was probably telling Kendall I was sweet because I was easy to talk to and thinking he could get guidance from me on how to talk to girls he actually liked. I was so dumb sometimes.
"Oh? Who?" Please, don't be Yasmin. Please, don't be Yasmin.
"Well, I never met anyone who was…Oh Landry, my dad just came in. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Wait, what? He hung up? Stupid fate! Was he putting it out there he still liked me, or was he about to ask me for advice on how to talk to a girl he actually did like, seeing as I was so "sweet and nice?" I wanted to text Ashanti for advice, but it was past my phone curfew, and I had to get to bed.