I was so nervous the night of the basketball game. My palms were sweaty and I kept going to the bathroom. At first, I didn't even want to go into the gym. However, I mustered the courage just as the game ball went streaking past my head, and I almost got knocked over by a referee. The ref blew the whistle and went to hand the ball off. Vladi was standing there, and he nodded at me. Peyton squeezed my arm as we sat down, but I didn't think it was a big deal because he didn't smile at me.
"Duh, he was playing basketball, but he acknowledged your existence," she said.
"Kind of like how that cheerleader who keeps screaming out his name is acknowledging him?" I pointed to the girl with glossy, straight brown hair who was doing backflips on the sidelines.
"Forget her. He must like blondes anyway. He didn't check me out after all," she said.
I checked around to see if Carey was there, but I didn't see her. However, I did see India sitting with Doug and Cristian. I poked Peyton, but she had already seen them.
"Devon would kill her," she said.
"Um, should we tell her? They just started talking again," I said. I didn't want to get in the middle of another fight, and I could tell Peyton felt the same way. Besides, it wasn't as if Doug was Devon's boyfriend. I was sure India thought she would be safe since, other than her and Devon, the rest of us hadn't gone to the away games before. Peyton said we should try to avoid them after the game so we could pretend we never saw them together. However, I ran into her on my way out of the bathroom at halftime.
"Landry." India's aqua-blue eyes widened. "Are you here to see Vladi?"
I nodded, and we both stood there. Peyton came in to see what was taking so long and almost passed out when she saw India.
"You guys, could you not say anything to Devon about this? I came by myself and just ran into Doug here," India said.
Peyton and I acted like we hadn't even seen Doug. I knew India had to be lying because who would go to a game by herself? We agreed not to say anything. The whole time I worried about what would happen if Devon found out that I knew about Doug and India. Peyton told me to relax because we weren't doing anything wrong. I wasn't sure which was worse: keeping a secret from Devon or breaking up her friendship with India.
I decided not to say anything so that India wouldn't get into trouble. She and Devon had been fighting a lot, and it would only make things worse. Besides, India and Doug probably wouldn't last, and I would be getting her into trouble for no reason. My stomach felt queasy the rest of the evening. I couldn't even enjoy the rest of the game because I felt like keeping my mouth shut was betraying my friend.
When the game was over, we waited in the hall hoping Vladi would come out of the locker room. My eyes stayed glued on the locker room door, but those nagging feelings about India and Doug wouldn't go away. Then the door opened and Vladi came out. He glanced around, spotted me, and his face lit up. Peyton poked me in the side.
"He's coming this way," she said.
"Hey, Landry," he said, "I'm glad you could come out and watch us play tonight."
"You guys did great," I said, mentally kicking myself for not saying something witty and smart to wow him with my personality and intelligence.
"Thanks, it — it means a lot to me that you'd come see me play," he said, his eyes locked on mine. They were so warm, and it felt like my smile was radiating through my whole body.
"Any time."
"I have to go out with the team tonight," he said, glancing behind him. "But I'll talk to you later, okay?"
He walked over to his teammates. Then he turned around and winked at me.
"He totally likes you," Peyton said.
I nodded. It felt amazing that he seemed to truly appreciate that I had been there, but I couldn't shake the thought of how Devon would feel if she learned her crush didn't feel the same way about her.
****
The next day, Devon asked me to spend the night. I felt guilty keeping the truth about India and Doug from her, but I held back. Then I thought about how I'd have felt if I were dating Vladi and somebody saw him with another girl and didn't tell me. This whole mess was making me feel sick. I couldn't keep this secret. So I told Devon that I had seen them together, but I kept Peyton's name out of it.
"She what? She's supposed to be my friend," Devon said on the brink of tears. "I can't believe her. She's such a lying, backstabbing…"
"I'm so sorry," I said.
She sulked the rest of the night, and we ended up doing a movie marathon of her favorite actor, Blake Alderson, to make her feel better.
****
I was prepared for a long day on Monday. As I got dressed, I thought about how upset Devon had been and figured she and India wouldn't be speaking. I wondered if she'd tell India that it was me who told her. Mom gave me a ride to school, and I went up to Devon's locker.
"Hey," I said, "did you talk to India?"
She stared at me. "Yes, and she said she just ran into Doug there and that you totally made it into some huge thing to keep us from being friends."
"That's crazy. She even told me not to tell you."
Devon's eyes blazed. "And you were going to keep it from me?"
"Well, Peyton and I weren't sure — " I didn't mean to bring up Peyton's name, so I cut off and said, "I'm not the one you should be…"
Devon pushed past me, and I walked to class with my head down so no one could see that my eyes were watering.
"Landry, what's the matter?" Thalia asked when I sat down.
I told her Devon was mad at me, and her eyes got big. "That was you she was talking about in the hall this morning?"
"What?" I asked, gripping my desk. My stomach rolled, and I started to feel queasy.
Ms. Ashcroft walked in, so Thalia started to write me a note. It was extremely hard to pass notes in Ms. Ashcroft's class because she had this, like, psychic, cat-like alertness. It didn't matter where I sat or what I did — she knew if I was doing something wrong. I thought it was brave of Thalia to even attempt to write me a note, but of course, Ms. Ashcroft's psychic powers kicked in, and for the first time all year, she moved her podium right in front of where Thalia and I sat. Her stupid podium had been next to her desk in the corner since the beginning of time, and that day she decides to move it? Thalia shrugged and mouthed "sorry" as she stuffed the note between the pages of her vocab book.
I went to social studies thinking maybe I could talk to India, and everything would be okay. Besides, Peyton was absent, so who else did she have to talk to? I walked into class and saw India sitting with Arianna. Great. I sat with Tori and Ericka, but Mrs. Heart told us to pair off into twos so we could quiz each other before the big social studies test the next day. Of course, Tori and Ericka were going to be partners, so I had to go around the room feeling pathetic and ask if anyone still needed a partner. Tad, the other class outcast, also had no partner so I sat at his table and we went over the practice questions in the back of the book.
"Do you want me to quiz you first?" Tad asked. All around the room everybody was just talking and pretending to test each other, and I got the kid who actually wanted to study. Of all days for Peyton to be gone. I told Tad that I'd ask him the questions first. We were supposed to cover everything we had learned since the beginning of the year, so I knew I wouldn't remember enough to answer anything.
"Okay, what year did Gandhi die?" I asked.
"Which one? Mahatma or Indira?"
I flipped to the answer key, but it didn't say. I didn't even remember studying about another Gandhi.
"I don't know. The one Ben Kingsley played in the movie we watched, I guess," I said.
"1948. Unless you mean Indira Gandhi, then it's 1984. Seriously, Landry, you need to pay better attention in class. I know you're not going to get into an Ivy League school, but at least try harder."
Wow, that was kind of harsh. I was starting to see why Tad had no friends. My feelings were hurt, so I asked him what started World War II, and he went on and on until the bell rang. Maybe I should have taken notes on what he was saying, but I was upset and distracted. Maybe Tad was on to something; if I couldn't be popular, I should at least be smart. Too bad my math grade was going further in the toilet every day — along with all my friendships.
I called Peyton after school, and Devon had already talked to her. It seems Devon was only mad at me, but Peyton told me not to worry about it.
"What is she saying about me?" I asked. Peyton didn't say anything. "Please? I need to know."
"Well, she thinks you talk about Vladi too much."
A lot of good that had done me. He hadn't e-mailed me since the night of the game. I even wished he'd forward me some stupid joke. Anything to let me know he remembered I existed.
I hung up with Peyton and called Ashanti, who told me that Jay had e-mailed her a coupon for twenty percent off downloads at some music site.
"How sweet. I'm happy for you," I said. "Meanwhile, nobody knows I exist, and Valentine's Day is, like, around the corner."
"Ha, ha! I meant, you could forward it to Vladi and put a couple other e-mail addresses in so it looks like you sent it to a bunch of people and not just him," she said. "Everybody likes music, so it'll just look like you were sending him a discount thing, and maybe he'll write back to say 'thanks.'"
So I sent him the coupon, and that night he wrote back asking if I was going to the movie night being held at the high school. I didn't know what that was, but he wrote that it was an open event for grades seven through twelve, and tickets were just three bucks. He said we could meet up and then go for ice cream afterward. I wrote back that it sounded like fun, and then I texted and asked Peyton and Ashanti to go with me. Ashanti wrote back she had to baby-sit for her cousin, so she was going to come over and spend the night afterwards.
****
The night of the movie, I tried to figure out what I was going to wear. Everything I owned seemed like something a first-grader would have had in her closet. Vladi had practically seen my entire wardrobe, and I didn't want to him to think I had no clothes, so I checked my mom's closet to see if she had something I could borrow. I settled on the lavender sweater I had picked out at Christmas. Peyton was going to wear a dark green sweater and her new Franciszka T jeans. I went over to her house to get ready, and she used a straightening iron on my hair. My hair was already pretty straight, but that made it shiny and smooth and gave it a little bit of body, too. It was the best my hair had been in a long time. She used a triple-barrel curling iron on pieces of her hair to make waves. Peyton didn't like her hair curly, but it was so pretty with the crimpy waves in it.
"We look super cute," she said. "I want to take a picture."
She got her camera and her dad took pictures of us as she joked that we should send them to Vladi so he could use my photo as his screen saver.
"If you give me one of his basketball programs, I can scan his picture for you to put on your computer," she said. "Or we can make a zillion printouts, and you can have Vladi wallpaper on your walls."
Mrs. Urich came in the room and started laughing at us. "I'm sure that wouldn't scare the boy to know you had his picture all over your room," she said. "I remember when your sister wallpapered her room with pictures of Mason Fraser. She put them up with tape, and it ripped the real wallpaper up when she tried to move them around."
Peyton rolled her eyes. "After that, mom bought us frames so we wouldn't wreck the walls. It didn't look weird having magazine pictures in a frame or anything."
"I thought it was cute," Mrs. Urich said. "And it made it look like you actually knew the person, since you had his picture framed."
Peyton giggled. "I kinda doubt it, Mom."
We got to the gym, and it seemed like everyone was there for the movie. Some kids were sitting on the bleachers, some had blankets on the floor, and there were folding chairs, too. Vladi and his friends were sitting on the chairs closer to the big movie screen. The movie was some weird old cartoon.
Apparently, the school got worried about a lawsuit from showing the movie they'd originally planned to show, so they put on something they felt wouldn't get them sued. It was pretty boring, and people started talking more than watching. Even the adult chaperones in the corners seemed bored. We were sitting too close to the speakers to talk and be able to hear one another, so our group just watched the movie. Then Peyton said she had to go to the bathroom, so I went with her. I was going to go in, but Hana came up, so I stood talking to her while Peyton went in alone. Hana went back to her friends, and I started to walk into the restroom when I overheard India's voice. She was telling Peyton that I was using her, because Devon was mad at me.
"You're just her backup," India said loudly.
Peyton didn't say anything.
"And then she tried to get Devon mad at you, too," India practically spit those words out.
"What are you talking about?" Peyton asked.
"Landry panicked when Devon got mad at her, so she tried to get you in trouble. She said you had seen me and Doug together, too, but you didn't want to get involved," India said.
I wanted to run into the bathroom and call India a liar but couldn't get my feet to move. My mind was spinning because I hadn't said that at all; I just let on that Peyton was aware of what happened. And I didn't mean to drag her name into it, but it slipped out. My stomach was churning as I realized they were going to turn the one person I could count on against me. Peyton ran out of the bathroom. I went over to her, but she turned her head away and walked right past me.
"Wait." I grabbed her sleeve.
"I can't talk to you right now," she said, pulling her arm away.
"Please, you don't understand. That's not what happened! I didn't mean to — "
She whirled around. "You lied to me," Peyton said, glaring at me, and walked away.
I went into the stairwell, sat on the steps, and cried. Sobbing, I just wanted to disappear.
"Landry, what's wrong?"
It was Vladi — the one person I didn't want to see me with mascara running down my face. He sat down beside me, and I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
"Nothing," I said.
"You're crying," he said, touching my arm. "So something's the matter."
"My friends are mad at me," I said, sniffing and wishing I had a tissue. "They think I — never mind."
Vladi's friend Steve walked over, and I didn't want to talk in front of him. I sat there sniffing, and they convinced me to go for ice cream with them. We got to Ignatowski's, and Vladi and I took our sundaes and sat in a corner booth.
"You okay?" Vladi asked, squeezing my hand.
My heart flipped a little when he touched me. "Yeah, I'm just worried about everything with my friends. I hate when people are mad at me — I honestly feel sick when it happens," I said.
"You're such a sweet person. I can't imagine anyone being mad at you for anything. They'll come around."
He put his arm around me and gave me a little hug, and I was starting to perk up. Then Devon, India, and Peyton walked in. I decided to go the bathroom to hide and hope that they would get their ice cream to go. Opening up the door, I came back out and saw Peyton talking to Vladi. His face got all serious, and I was afraid that she was telling him how I ratted her out. He thought I was a sweet, thoughtful person, and he was about to hear just the opposite. I didn't want to have to explain everything to him and have him think I was an awful person, so I walked out the side door and called Mom on my cell phone. She drove up ten minutes later and asked why I was waiting outside by myself.
"I didn't feel good, so I wanted to leave," I said.
"You don't feel well, but you stood outside in the cold?" she asked, and I shrugged. "Well, do we need to give Vladi a ride home?"
"I think his friend is driving him home," I said.
Mom wanted to know why Vladi wasn't waiting outside with me. I said that he was still eating.
"Did you two get into a fight or something?" she asked.
"No, I just wanted to leave." I leaned over and turned up the radio. At least Ashanti was coming over that night. I couldn't get too upset over this Devon/India fight as long as I had her on my side.
"Oh, Ashanti called," my mom said. "She was wiped out after babysitting, so she cancelled for tonight."
"Am I supposed to call her?" I asked.
Mom shook her head. "Nope, she said she'd give you a call sometime this weekend."
Great. Not only did I clean my room for nothing, but I couldn't even count on having at least one person on my side at school. I wondered if somehow Devon and India had gotten to Ashanti and told her lies about me. Sure, maybe the twins did tire her out; she had just gotten over mono, but maybe she was trying to avoid me.
I checked my messages as soon as I got home because I thought Vladi would at least have e-mailed me to ask why I had left without saying anything. Instead, I only had a message from Thalia, so I wrote her back. I was disappointed that Vladi hadn't written me, but I wasn't going to write him first, because I didn't know what to say. Besides, he was probably mad at me anyway. I asked my mom if I could have Thalia spend the night. Mom thought it was too late to have her come over, but she said Thalia could come over the next night.
Albright2001: Can you spend the night tomorrow?
Thalia22: Let me go check ;0)
Yup, my mom says it's fine. What time should I come over?
Albright2001: How about five and we can order a pizza or something.
Thalia22: Okay, just no mushrooms cuz I'm severely allergic.
Only Thalia would write "severely allergic." For our step-by-step speech the previous year, she did hers on how she could die if a bee stung her. India had the same allergy, but I didn't see her telling the whole world about it.
****
On Saturday afternoon, Mom asked if I wanted to rent movies for the sleepover. Thalia liked cartoons, so I got a couple of those. Devon found those kind of princess-y animated movies too babyish, so we always rented horror movies and action stuff. It was nice to be able to choose the type of movies I liked to watch for a change. Thalia's dad pulled into the driveway right when we got home from picking up the pizza. Mr. Zimmer stood outside talking to my mom while Thalia and I went inside to eat. Her dad had let her take a lot of candy from his candy store. I guess there were some definite benefits to being friends with Thalia. She had licorice whips, lollipops, cotton candy — which became gum when chewed — and lots of chocolate.
"What movies did you get?" she asked as we sat down to eat. I held up the titles as I searched for the napkins.
She asked how things went with Vladi at the movie night the night before. I ended up telling her the whole story about running out of Ignatowski's Ice Cream Palace and how sure I was that nobody would be speaking to me on Monday.
"That stinks they would try to turn Vladi against you," she said. "It's India's fault anyway. You didn't do anything wrong, and I think Devon deserved to know what was going on."
"I was afraid she'd find out on her own and then get mad at me for not telling her, but it's like I couldn't win either way," I said, wiping sauce off my chin.
"Devon's probably just embarrassed about the whole thing, and she's taking it out on you. I wouldn't worry too much. She'll probably forget all about it by Monday," she said.
Easy for her to say. She didn't know how long Devon could hold a grudge. Devon once told me she was still mad at Halle Gephardt because she had accidentally released Ricardo, their third-grade class hamster, the day before it was Devon's turn to take him home. They never found little Ricardo, and the teacher decided not to get a new pet after all the kids got so upset, so Devon never got to take a pet home.
After dinner, we spread out our sleeping bags so we could get comfortable while we watched the movies. I wanted to watch downstairs, but even though we had a finished basement, it still got cold down there. Thalia had brought over the new Cadia doll she had gotten for Christmas. Peyton, Ericka, and I all had those dolls, but we stopped playing with them years ago, partly because of my stupid cousin. Sure, the dolls still sat on our dressers, but it wasn't like we changed their outfits and played with them.
Thalia's doll was similar to the one I had. However, Thalia had put a little pink-and-white striped pajama outfit on her. I thought it was a little weird, although I did own the same pj outfit. Actually, I had the bed and nightstand for Cadia, too, and Peyton had all of the playsets for her doll, but it wasn't as if we brought them over for sleepovers. Although, last year Ericka and I had played with her Cadia doll's birthday set, and I had brought mine over to her house, but that was different. I mean it was seventh grade and we were just having a kid moment or something. It wasn't like Ericka and I had annual dolly birthday parties.
"I have those pj's for my doll, too," I said.
"You should put them on her," Thalia said.
I figured I might as well. No one was going to know I was playing with dolls, and Thalia might have been the only friend I had left since Ashanti never called after she cancelled on me the previous night. I dressed up my doll and even got out her little bed. In a way, it was nice just to relax and hang out with Thalia. I didn't have to pretend or do things to fit in like I did with Ericka, Tori, and Devon. None of that fake stuff — I could just be myself. Sometimes it was nice to slip back into being a kid. I could do that with Peyton, but she was probably never going to speak to me again after the day before. I sighed as I scrunched down in my sleeping bag with my doll. Cadia wasn't as comfortable to snuggle with as my blue mouse, since she was hard and plastic-y while he was soft and squishy, but she'd have to do.
"Want another licorice whip?" Thalia asked. "Cherry or strawberry?"
"Cherry."
"Good, I like the strawberry ones better," she said.
I asked her if there was anybody she liked in our class. She tried to pull the plastic off her licorice with her teeth while she thought about it.
"No, the guys in our class are pretty gross."
"I thought somebody said you liked Tad," I said.
She narrowed her eyes at me. I never realized how dark and thick her eyelashes were. She'd never had to use mascara, unlike me who had to glob it on just to show I had lashes.
"I don't know why people think that just because Tad and I aren't like, super popular, that we should date or something. I mean, Kyle and I are both short, but nobody says we should go out," she said. "Although I'd puke and die if anyone ever said that. Kyle is such a jerk."
"Yeah, I never know where I stand with Kyle. Is he just being nice to use me for homework? And sometimes he's like Ericka and Maggie when they say stuff that sounds nice, but it's like they're making you feel bad."
"Yup."
We turned off the TV to go to sleep. As I snuggled down in my sleeping bag, I could hear Thalia snoring lightly next to me as I wondered what Peyton and Vladi were thinking right then. Did she actually believe the stuff those girls had told her, or would she come to her senses and realize I had mentioned her name by accident? I didn't want to lose her as a friend, or Vladi for that matter. He had been so thoughtful and concerned before, and I felt like I could tell him anything, but I might have lost all of that. Maybe I should have been brave and gone back to the table to find out what Peyton told him. I wished I had that kind of courage to face things head on instead of running away, but I was too scared to see him look at me the way she did — with anger and disgust. It hurt, because I felt like I hadn't done anything wrong and yet, for some reason, I was the bad guy.