Chapter Five

Callan’s apartment was a comfortable one-bedroom on the fourth floor of an apartment complex that had received a Tamer makeover in this new timeline.

Ivy-covered brownstones had nothing on the vibrant jewel-toned greens and yellows that painted the star-shaped leaves that artfully wound up the building.

The Tamer responsible for the aesthetics was an artist who lived on the top floor and frequently left everyone cuttings of interesting plants that rooted easily.

As we trudged into his apartment, I caught sight of a few.

The blue-leafed plant on the windowsill had furry stems and leaves as big as my palm. The one next to it had tiny dandelion-like tufts in an array of pastel shades prone to detaching on the slightest air current. From what I remembered of that plant, the tufts always returned and re-attached after taking a few turns around the room.

Callan’s place was similar to mine in that there was no particular style. It was just full of things he liked, and he had a good eye for decorating.

His overstuffed sectional was deceptively comfortable with reclining seats set the perfect distance from his seventy-five-inch flat screen. A sleek entertainment console housed an impressive DVD collection, a couple video game systems, and stacks of games.

The color palette throughout favored earth tones and natural wood, and his dining table, which sat adjacent to the living room and in front of the windows, was an oak masterpiece he’d had custom made. On the walls were floating shelves clustered with books, and various pieces of art from comic book­–style posters to abstract ones, and even a vibrant oil painting of an anime character.

When I’d shown Gideon a picture of it on my phone, he’d immediately tried to enlist me to steal it for him. We were still negotiating my price.

Callan was also getting his own weapons wall started, thanks to me. I’d given him the axe he’d used during the showdown with Varian and had Shaped a pair of tonfa staffs for him. Both were hung on the wall to the left of his windows.

As Callan locked the door behind us, Ashe went straight to the pile of bluish rock-shaped pillows next to his entertainment center.

She flopped down, rolled onto her side, and made herself comfortable, releasing a happy sigh. I noticed there were quite a few more pillows than the last time we were here and smiled, glancing at Callan, who was rifling through the mail he’d brought up.

The first time we’d come over, Callan had given Ashe the green light to make herself comfortable on the rock pillows and it’d become her favorite spot in his apartment. He’d noticed and ordered more so her large frame would be even more comfortable.

I went over and snaked my arms around him, planting a kiss on the back of his neck.

He put the mail down and placed his hand over mine, turning his head toward me. “Hey, you.”

“You’re a sweet man, have I told you that lately?”

He chuckled. “Can I get a recording of that for the next time you sass off at me?”

“Don’t press your luck.” I laughed and kissed him before letting go and stepping away. “I’m gonna hit the shower. I need to scrub this disaster of a day off me.”

I unclipped my waist pouch and headed over to the couch to deposit it when I spied a wealth of yarn spilling out of a canvas bag. When I bent to neaten it and move it out of the way, Callan made an unintelligible sound and practically leaped across the room to snatch it from my hands. Ashe raised her head while I stared at Callan with an eyebrow raised.

“Ah, this wasn’t something I wanted you to see yet,” he said sheepishly, knitting clutched against his chest.

I gave him and his yarn an assessing look. “Are you making me something?”

He cleared his throat. “Um…maybe…”

“It’s not a knit bikini, is it?” I deadpanned, raising my eyebrow higher.

He laughed. “I considered it, but ultimately decided gloves might be a safer bet. Especially with the colder seasons coming up.” He rummaged around in the bag and pulled out a half-finished pair of fingerless gloves.

The yarn was colored similarly to my dark purple armor with streaks of silver, and he’d added some dark blue. He handed the gloves to me, and I felt the warm and fuzzies over seeing something he was making for me.

“Coordinates well with my armor.” I ran my thumb over them. They were soft and thick.

He shrugged, looking vulnerable as he watched me inspect his gift-in-progress.

“I’ll say it again: you’re a sweet man. Only Ma ever made wearable things for me out of the goodness of her heart.”

“Well, I’m no textile Shaper, so it’s not as good as—”

“It’s perfect.” I cut him off by stepping closer and kissing him, letting my lips and tongue slide against his.

He put his free hand on my waist and pulled me flush against him. We kissed until I couldn’t continue ignoring the stab of a knitting needle against my chest.

When we pulled back, I was smiling hard. Cheesin’, one might say.

“I’m sorry I ruined the surprise but thank you. I can’t wait to wear them.”

He looked so pleased at my response to his gift, my goofy expression lingered. He put the knitting stuff away and I headed to the short hallway that led to his bathroom and bedroom. I paused and looked over my shoulder.

“You know what…put a pin in the knit bikini idea.” I winked. “We might have to revisit it later.”

He whistled, looking me up and down. “Oh baby. I’ve already got some patterns in mind…”

Ashe made a sound that was the personification of a deep eyeroll as I laughed and continued to the bathroom.

…

“Ashe never believes me when I tell her how loudly she snores, and if I were to record her to provide proof, she’d probably burn my phone in retaliation.” I shook my head as I stared fondly at Ashe, who had dozed off nestled among the rock pillows.

Her teeth were slightly bared as rumbling snores barreled out of her. Callan and I were curled up on the sectional watching a movie I wasn’t really paying attention to.

“Denial is a hell of a thing,” Callan said amusedly.

“I didn’t mind it so much back in the day. A lot of times we’d be camped out in the middle of nowhere. The deep quiet can be unsettling. I used to find her snores soothing.”

“I can understand that.” His arm was around my shoulders and I was snuggled against his side, my legs draped over his lap. His free hand languidly drifted up and down my thigh.

My armor was comfortable, even on hot summer days, but I was glad to be out of it and into a pair of shorts and a tank top. Callan had on a T-shirt and knee-length shorts.

After he’d showered, I’d had another look at the burn on his hand. It was almost healed and didn’t need to be bandaged anymore. The Divine sword was in his room lying on top of my armor.

Being the only one who could touch it was interesting. Mix had said something about being worthy, but it still didn’t seem real that I had the ability to wield such a powerful weapon. What had I really done to be worthy of it?

Callan shifted so he could look at me, his face sobering as he searched my face. “Today was a lot. How are you doing?”

I sighed and shook my head. “I’m not sure where to begin. It’s already been difficult getting used to the new lay of the land and everything that got me to this point.” The weight was heavier than I cared to admit.

I had yet to come to terms with being under a magical sleep for almost three hundred years. Now I was a force that had changed the world, but doing so had unleashed a slew of problems and brought a new threat against me.

“I’m confused, I’m worried, I’m…” I shrugged. Callan’s hand tightened on my thigh. “I’m not sure what to do,” I finished softly. “What am I expected to do? What’s the explanation for why stepping through the portal caused all magic to temporarily black out? How the hell do I keep myself from getting killed by a mystical being?”

“I wish I had answers.” His voice was laced with frustration. “It’s killing me that I can’t do anything except tell you how worried I am and that I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe.” He pressed a kiss against my temple, his breath stirring the wisps at my hairline. “But I’m here,” he whispered. “You don’t have to carry the burden alone, okay?”

“I know.” And I was so glad he was with me, keeping me grounded while we adjusted to all the changes. Time had become a twisty concept after recent events. Everything felt both recent and distant. I recalled how resistant I had been to let Callan get close to me, to open myself to more than a good time in bed with him.

Less than two months had passed since I’d gone from wanting to throttle him to wanting to kiss him with all the passion I had to give. Without having to make a declaration of it, we were definitely in a relationship now.

The idea of moving through movie and dinner dates before having the “so, what are we?” conversation seemed ludicrous after we’d literally saved the world together. And it had been a welcome surprise to realize that I hadn’t been afraid of the closeness or how quickly it had come. It felt right.

Wrapped in his arms, away from eyes that looked at me in wonder, fear, excitement, or a mixture of all, I could let my guard down and acknowledge how jarring coming back to such a changed reality was.

There was no playbook to help Callan, Toji, Gideon, and myself navigate this. It was overwhelming. I wouldn’t be handling things nearly so well if I didn’t have the boys and Ashe.

“I know we have some new dangers to face, but no matter what, you didn’t do anything wrong, Penn, you know that, right? You put the world back to the way it should have been.”

“I know, but it’s so…tremendous. When Kana mentioned she was only alive because of what I did, it made my head spin. And now we’re mixing magic and technology? Where do I even land on that? Plus, there are issues we brought over from the Before Times. I’m on edge every single day about something happening to Gideon.”

So far, we hadn’t seen any ill effects from the fact that Gideon had been revived without his soul, but I was worried that our luck wouldn’t hold.

“A Diviner will hopefully be able to help us with that,” Callan said.

“We need a Diviner’s help for a lot of things, it seems.” I felt restless and anxious again.

I got up and paced to the kitchen, rummaging around until I found a chocolate bar. Restlessness mixed with PMS. I broke off six squares and started munching as I headed back to the living room. Callan was turning the TV off. We both knew movie watching was a lost cause at this point.

I offered Callan chocolate and he took a bite. Then I walked over to the window.

The view was of a quiet neighborhood with the occasional car passing by and some light foot traffic. It could have been a view from the Before Times if it wasn’t for the two other apartment buildings I could see that were covered in Tamer plants like Callan’s.

A lilting sound made me look up to see a stork-sized creature glide by, its almost comically long neck ramrod straight as its huge wingspan cut through the air.

Pterdac were nocturnal creatures and weren’t much to look at with their multifaceted eyes and dull-colored feathers, but almost no other creature had a song as beautiful as theirs. They were sirens of the sky.

Magic had never left the world. Varian’s massive working of dark magic, the Majimorta, had never ravaged the world and collapsed magic. I knew I hadn’t done a Bad Thing, but I was having a hard time settling into the truth that I was thirty-three years old, living my third lifetime.

As was Callan.

I glanced at him as I finished the chocolate and he came up next to me. “I’m struggling, and I hate to admit it, but it’s the truth. But it’s not only me…it’s you too. And Toji and Gideon.”

Callan put his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. I tried to relax, but it wasn’t easy.

“It’s not been as hard as I thought it would be, and I think that’s because I’m a Temporal and changes in time is what my magic aligns with. It’s what I know and understand. I also understand that despite the not so savory things we’re encountering, the world is as it should have always been, with magic an integral part of it. But…” His body tensed.

I turned around and took a small step back so I could see him.

“But?” I prompted.

“I’m still working through my memories. It’s like I got huge chunks when I touched the Cillari Stone and my mother’s memory manipulation broke, but there are still things being revealed. Every now and then a new memory will hit. It’s been difficult.”

“Have you been remembering unpleasant things?”

“Not unpleasant per se, but there’s something I’m working through that I’m hoping we can look into. I think it’s important.” He walked over to pick up a weathered journal that’d been sitting on the end table next to the sectional.

It was burnt orange, closed with a worn clasp, and sported handmade pages with rough edges. I recognized it as one of his mother Linella’s journals we’d taken from the storage unit in the Before Times. Two other journals were on the coffee table, and I’d spotted another one on his nightstand.

He came back over and turned to a page near the back where there was half a page of writing. I leaned closer to look at it.

“It’s written in code?” The curling symbols, lines, and dots made no sense to me.

“Mom used coded writing for things in her Temporal work that required privacy, and for other important things like where she hid the pastries from my father.” A quick smile flashed across his lips. He pointed to the first set of symbols. “That’s my name, which means this message is for me. The rest took some time to decipher but…” He removed a folded piece of paper tucked at the back of the journal and opened it. “They’re coordinates.”

“She left you coded coordinates? We gotta check them out.”

“I already looked at a map. They correspond to a huge forested area in northern Nova Celes. I asked Gideon for one of his maps from the Before Times. The area aligns with where Mount Mansfield State Forest in Vermont was.”

“Looks like we’re going hiking? Ashe will be pleased about a forest run.”

“I’m puzzled as to why she would leave me coded coordinates. Something about them is pulling at my memories. I remember being somewhere forested with her, but it’s like watching a screen that’s underwater. The picture isn’t clear.”

“Let’s go tomorrow. Maybe once we’re there the memory will become clearer.”

“I hope so.” He sounded frustrated at his inability to already have it figured out. “And…I might be reaching, but it continues to be hard to accept the circumstances of her death and part of me wonders if going here will provide answers.” I could hear the sadness in his voice, see it on his face. “I know you left her alive and well in the past, but there’s still a timeline where she existed with me for many years and died at the hands of dark magic. It’s been so hard to understand it all. And…”

I was leaning against the windowsill and he moved forward and braced his arms on either side of me, resting his forehead on my shoulder.

“I want to forgive her.” His voice was soft. And pained. “I want to let go of this anger. I understand why she altered my memories. But I’m still so mad at her.”

He raised his head and I cupped his cheek. There was so much hurt in his expression, I wanted to alter time again to find some way to fix it. It would never be easy for Callan to reconcile these feelings, knowing Linella did what she did from a place of love, but feeling abused by her anyway. I wanted to take that pain away, but I was struggling too.

“We’re a hot mess, aren’t we?” I said, which made him chuckle and shake his head.

“The hottest.” He tilted his head, his eyes roving over my face before trailing down my body and back up. “Speaking of hot…” His voice dropped lower, and I bit my lip as his expression shifted to something that spoke of heat in all the best ways.

I slid my hand under his shirt, his abs tightening at my touch.

“I think we both need a distraction.” I straightened up and stepped closer. A sly smile curled my lips. “Wanna see who can distract who better?”

“Woman.” He grabbed my hips and pulled me against him, sliding his hands beneath my ass and hitching me up onto the windowsill. “I’m gonna distract the shit out of you.” He pressed me up against the window and claimed my mouth.

The kiss was demanding. There was no buildup.

Our tongues clashed, pushing and tangling as our lips slid against each other. The taste of chocolate mingled between our mouths, making me kiss him like his lips were candy, sucking, licking, and biting his bottom lip.

We broke apart long enough for him to pull his shirt over his head, then mine was lost, leaving my breasts bare. He picked me up and I locked my legs around him, grinding against his erection as he reclaimed my mouth and shifted me until my back was against the wall.

I found my footing and quickly made my shorts and undies disappear as he kissed heat down my neck to my chest. One hand played at my nipple in a way that arched my back and had me gasping while his mouth found the other. I moaned as his tongue danced circles around it.

He moved one hand sensuously down the line of my body between my legs and made a hungry noise at how wet I was. His touch made me ache with anticipation.

He explored me with his fingers, gently probing and teasing, sliding two of them inside me, our eyes locked as he watched my reaction to his touch. He slid his fingers out and trailed them up my body, leaving my skin slick. I watched him suck his fingers.

“Mm…” A hungry sound rumbled in his throat as he licked my taste off his fingers.

I reached down and took him in my hand, trying to guide him into me, but he moved back.

“Not yet.” He kissed me roughly, one hand tangled in my hair while the other moved back down my body and shifted my legs open wider.

He dropped to his knees and licked between my legs, the slightly rough texture of his tongue doing a slow exploration that had me taking short breaths, my body quivering, waiting, wanting.

He picked up one of my legs and draped it over his shoulder, then cupped his hands under my ass and went to work.

The deep, hard strokes of his tongue were like every good thing I could ever feel.

He exhaled against me and the whisper of his breath across my most intimate place made a vibration go through me that tightened every muscle in my body.

Callan’s mouth was a sin I never wanted there to be a prayer for. The stimulation he brought to my clit was maddening in the best way. My fingers had a firm grip in his hair as my hips fell into a rhythm with the movements of his mouth.

His hands slid up my body, palming my breasts, his teasing fingers doing everything right to turn me on even more. I gasped his name as the orgasm built, screamed it as I came and he kept his mouth right where I wanted it.

He stood up and I reached for him, intending to return the favor, but he pinned my arms above my head and kissed me, his slick lips fusing with mine, his tongue running over then between them.

I ground my hips against him and he chuckled.

“I’m not done with you.” He flipped me around so my back was against his chest, moving his hands to my waist and hitching my hips up.

“I crave you.” His voice was rough, raspy. “And I’m a very greedy man.” He slid his hands to the front of my body, dipping them between my legs before moving them up to my breasts.

“Come for me again.” The words were a hot promise of dark pleasure against my ear. “Scream for me again.”

He guided himself into me slowly, so slowly.

I arched my head back and to the side so I could kiss him, wrapping one arm behind his head as he entered me.

We needed a better angle, so we shifted to the table, my palms slapping against the surface as he started to find a rhythm. He stroked faster, our bodies beaded with sweat, his hands a delicious pressure on my hips.

He pulled out and flipped me over, entering me again almost as soon as my ass hit the table. I fell back on my elbows and he gripped my thighs and pulled me forward, almost to the edge, keeping a hand on the table while the other went around to steady me, holding me in place as he pumped.

I bit his lip hard enough to make him grunt before kissing him like he was something to be consumed. I screamed against his mouth as I came again and reveled in his pleasure as he came moments later, his body shuddering, chest heaving, his grip on me tight as he picked me up.

We landed on the floor in a tangle of limbs, our bodies pressed against each other. We were on our sides, my leg thrown over his, his hand at the small of my back holding me close. He smiled slyly.

“I win.”

“You played dirty,” I accused.

He kissed me. “And you loved it,” he said against my mouth.

My body tightened again.

I moved my leg off him and took him in my hand, stroking him and giving him a look that spoke of doing things to him that would leave him unable to form words.

“You got fifteen minutes to recover, then it’s my turn.”

He made a sound of anticipation, rolling onto his back and pulling me on top of him. “This time I’m ready to lose,” he whispered, before his lips became one with mine again.